Sleepless nights and daydreams

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

I just need a hug

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

I want to be covered by a blanket

Covered everywhere

I want to feel safe and protected

for just some moments

I just want to be free

For just a moment

I want to sink into my bed

be peaceful

My mind at ease

For just a moment

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

The thing i hate the most about all this, is that i have made myself vulnerable, i gave too much of myself

I opened up to you and you just used it

I hate that i trusted you like that

I hate that i showed you parts of myself that i should have never trusted you with

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

Let me cry a little

Cause I waited too long

Oh let me cry a little

I didn‘t say goodbye

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

What do you do when you love someone but you have to let them go?

How do you carry on?

How do you cope?

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

Sometimes, just for a split second I feel like nothing is real. We’re just living in this made up world of ours.

Then for a moment I wonder, who am I? What am I?

And I never know the answer.

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

You‘re so full of love. So gentle. The way you touch me… it fills me with overwhelming joy, with happiness, peace. Oh to feel your beatiful skin, to hear your soft voice, smelling you when you‘re just close enough, to look into your telling eyes. I‘m drawn to you.

I love you. I deeply and genuinely love you.

And I miss you. I miss you badly

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

I wish I could express what I feel for you.

I feel for you in such depths that there are absolutely no words that could ever come close to the truth of the intense love I have for you.

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

The way you looked at me.

Your beautiful brown eyes told me everything you had on your mind.

For the first time i felt what it‘s like to love and being loved back. When you were touching me I tried to hold on to that feeling.

Your fingers stroking my hair, my arm, my cheek. Taking all the pain away.

Oh I‘ll never forget the way you looked at me.

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

You don‘t even know how much you mean to me.

You don‘t even know you saved me.

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

My thoughts always come back to you.

No matter what I think about, what I write about, I always end with thinking about you. I end with writing about you

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

Nothing has changed. Nothing about the way I feel for you has changed. I think about you as much as before. I imagine you with me as much as before. I still love you the way I did.

You are not one to forget.

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

There is anger inside me. Like a cloud it shows up from time to time and lingers above me for a while.

I know where it‘s come from, how it came into existence.

I have yet to find a way to let go of it.

Oh please make it rain and the cloud dissappear

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

And everytime I see you it all comes back crashing down on me.

Everytime I see you everything I have ever felt for you is back as if it had never been gone.

I am drained. I am drained by how deeply I‘m in love with you.

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

Maybe the day will come when I‘ll be strong enough to let you go

And maybe one day it wont hurt so much anymore

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

Maybe there is another universe out there. A universe where our paths crossed to the right time. Where we can love each other unconditionally.

A world in which I can share my life with you and you can share yours with me.

Where I can kiss you, touch you, feel you.

A place where we fall asleep together, laugh and cry together. Where we make love and enjoy the beauty of each others body.

A universe in which we found us

[beforeigotosleepthoughts]

You‘re so close and yet so far

We seem to be connected and yet I can‘t reach you