decode.

[behindtheduckie]

theprincesstopaz‌:

You’re my hero. I don’t think the original gang had much of a social life outside of solving mysteries. That’s the thing that concerns me the most. I’m pretty sure I need social gatherings to maintain an acceptable level of bitchiness. If I go without, even I’d hate to see who I’d become. A corkboard is a great place to start. My grandma has a lot of yarn that I’m sure I could steal. It doesn’t have to be just red; we could color coordinate so that it’s both prettier and easier to follow. The ripping off masks thing seems fun but I’m not too excited about running in heels. Maybe I should invest in better footwear.

Your hero? Gee, you’ve put a lot of pressure on me there, let’s hope I don’t let you down. I understand, we wouldn’t want you to drop below the standard of bitchiness, you might actually have to talk to some people who are - gasp - not as cool as you. Shocking, I know. See, you’re already thinking ahead, I hadn’t even thought of color-coding. That’s your first official job, collecting yarn. And I’m in the same boat as you, not with heels, but I feel like I’m going to have to make some serious business investments, I doubt my mom will be too happy.

[behindtheduckie]

adventuresinbradland‌:

I would imagine there’s definitely a story behind that name… Pleasure to meet you, Duckie. I remember the article…you have quite a way with words. 

Yeah, you’d be right about that. I’ll try and keep it short, my last name is Mallard, mallards are a type of duck, my teacher needed to distinguish between the two Connor M’s in her class and I said she call me Duck because when you’re ten that kind of stuff is funny, and then that just became Duckie over time. I guess it stuck. And thank you, it’s always nice to hear that someone has taken something positive away from my work.

[behindtheduckie]

theprincesstopaz‌:

That would be amazing actually. All I ask is that the Committee avoid using a winter wonderland theme. I don’t want the theme of the prom I become queen be from 2005. I’m glad you are keeping busy, I’ve pretty much been doing the same too. Though, I’m sure this whole crime fighting thing is going to take up a lot more of my time. If I’m honest, I don’t really know where I should begin. I’ve never really had to problem solve before. Do you have any tips?

Okay, no Winter Wonderland, no Snowflake Soiree, no Midwinter Night’s Dream and no Frozen In Time, I’ll make sure the word gets back to the girls in charge of all that. Couldn’t agree more, I feel like I’m going to have to momentarily retire the Half-Jewish Students Union until this whole thing hopefully blows over. Well I ordered one of those big cork-boards on Amazon so I can do that thing where you connect clues together with red string. I’m taking it one step at a time. From the way things sound, you’ll get to do a lot of ripping-off masks and running around corridors more than anything.

[behindtheduckie]

catchingkenzi‌:

That is the most truthful thing that has ever been said. Like, how does she not even look like she’s getting older when she’s probably 40 or something now. Do you think we’ll all stop aging too when we get famous?

But like, real talk, are you having to go to that boring ball or whatever it is at the old hotel? 

Yeah, she really is ageless, she’s looked twenty one for the past ten years. I feel like when you get famous enough you get to afford the good plastic surgery so yeah, probably.

Yeah, I’m on photography duty, they want me to cover it for the school paper. If you wanted to come and save me from the boredom of walking around and talking pictures of old people talking, feel free.

[behindtheduckie]

elijah-owens‌:

Okay, no judgement….little judgement, but what kind of a name is Duckie?

Don’t worry, I’ve gotten that reaction before. It’s kind of a long story, uh, see my name’s Connor Mallard and it’s not common knowledge but mallards are actually a type of duck and when I was in the fourth grade there was another guy called Connor in my class and our last names both started with ‘M’ and it just so happened that the name tag on my school bag had a duck on it so I put two and two together and...Duckie happened. 

[behindtheduckie]

catchingkenzi‌:

Yeah that would kinda suck, and be nothing like that one Rihanna music video where she’s looking like a snack and dancing in front of that fire. Maybe I can find you a hardcore punk rock duck or something. When we finally catch a ghosty, you need to take some badass pics of it.. And one of me holding it like I’m gonna give it a smooch. 

Rihanna looks great no matter what she’s doing, even in a car crash. A punk rock duck? Now that’s something that had never crossed my mind, sounds interesting though, I’m down. Of course, it would be a crime if I didn’t capture that moment on camera.

[behindtheduckie]

theprincesstopaz‌:

If it isn’t one of my favorite people, I’m hoping this year will be the same? In addition of course to the photos of me as Prom Queen. That was a really fun night. How have you been?

Well, your face sells a lot of copies to freshman who are obsessed with you which gives me the ability to continue funding the dying industry of print press so, yeah, this year will be the same. And I’ll make sure the prom committee picks a good theme that photographs well for both our sakes. I’m doing good, just the usual. Well, the usual plus this new mystery-solving thing. You?

[behindtheduckie]

theprincesstopaz‌:

I’m assuming most of you already know who I am but just in case you’ve been living under a rock, hi I’m Topaz. I’m really excited to be here and I think this could actually be the thing that makes living in Coolsville tolerable. 

Topaz, yes, I know your face, you had your fair share of pictures with the cheer team in the Yearbook last year. I’m pretty excited too, feels nice to be apart of something so big.

[behindtheduckie]

Well, isn’t this an interesting turn of events. Nevertheless, I’m Connor, but call me Duckie, please, everyone does. I’m pretty food with faces so I recognize a fair few of you, but I know that I tend to to keep to myself, but you might know me from my scathing review on the cafeteria food that the school tried to shut down last year but, for the sake of the integrity of journalism and to stick it to censorship, I published anyway. 

[behindtheduckie]

rogersharls‌:

I guess I should introduce myself, which is really weird because that’s what you do at the beginning of school. If some of you don’t know me, I’m Harley and pretty sure I’ve seen most of you around, uhh if you have any inquries about anything related to the old Mystery Inc., Im your gal. Gal what the f- Harley. Just breath, you’re going to be fine, you were born for this, after all.

Yeah, of course I’ve seen you around, every member of the paper is equally as valued as the next. Expect the people writing the horoscope column, they’re 100% just making everything up and I do not fuck with that at all.

[behindtheduckie]

elijah-owens‌:

Yo, so I guess this is a thing now. I’m Elijah, but most people call me Eli. As long as you all keep any gross peanut butter hands and peanut m&ms away from me…and I guess Harley too, we’ll be cool. Cause, yeah, otherwise you’ll be murdering us, which would be uncool. 

I’m Duckie, and don’t worry, my sister’s got a peanut allergy so I’ll make sure to keep that in mind. I feel like killing someone in a nut related accident wouldn’t be a great look for anyone.

[behindtheduckie]

catchingkenzi‌:

Yeah but it’s totally a dream to go joyriding and my mom won’t get me drive her car again ever since i wrapped it around that pole at Walmart. Duckie is the best name ever and you’re super adorbs. Do you own a bunch of duck themed stuff, ‘cause if you don’t, know should. I didn’t go to homecoming because I ate too many burritos and take to take a four hour siesta but I saw the pictures! If you wanna take some bomb-ass pics of the gang, then let me know ‘cause I’ve been working on some sick moves for fence hopping.

Geez, yeah, okay so you’re definitely not driving the van while I’m in it because I kinda favor living over dying in fiery car crash. Thanks, I get that a lot. And, shockingly, no, I don’t have a lot of duck stuff, they’re a little too cutesy for me typically. Huh, noted, but I’m glad my pictures got some traction. And noted once again, I’m no expert on fence hopping but I’m sure it’d photograph well.

[behindtheduckie]

catchingkenzi‌:

Okay but, this is so wild and also the coolest thing ever. We should all get matching T shirts and tattoos! Also…. I wanna drive the Mystery Machine. I don’t got my licence but I’ve played GTA like a gazillion times and I promise not to drive into any hookers. ALSO hi I’m Kenzi and I only remember some of you and the rest.. Pretty sure I’ve never seen you in my whole life. But I’m bad with faces so that’s probably my bad.

Huh, well, I don’t really think that tattoos should be out first call to action, nor should driving the van. Points for gumption though. Pleasure’s all mine, Kenzi. I’m Connor but, please, call me Duckie, everyone does. And if you’ve never seen my face around, you might recognize my work in the school paper, I also took photos at Homecoming last year.

[behindtheduckie]

the basics:

full name: connor ‘duckie’ christopher mallard birthday: twelfth of august age: seventeen gender: male sexuality: bisexual  occupation: high school student, freelance reporter and photographer & unqualified social media manager

personality:

zodiac: leo positive traits: hard-working, logical, resourceful negative traits: withdrawn, stubborn, impatient

background:

birthplace: coolsville parents: drake mallard ( incarcerated ) & ida mallard siblings: billie mallard ( seven year old sister ) education: junior at coolsville high school clubs/sports: head of school newspaper, yearbook committee, head of the half-jewish students union ( he thought it would give him a better chance at getting into universities if he looked culturally diverse ) notable skills: journalism, photography, being nosey as all shit, coming up with excuses for where his dad is languages: english, basic spanish & yiddish

[behindtheduckie]

listen here.

[fragile--pieces]

[androidboy]