shit i say — sentence starters
i decided to make a meme out of all the shit i say regularly. enjoy!
GENERAL SHIT.
❝ I’M GONNA MCFREAKING LOSE MY MIND. ❞
❝ I’m going to shove an entire baseball bat down my throat and smash my insides. ❞
❝ *aggressive finger guns* ❞
❝ *high pitched screeching* ❞
❝ That’s where you’re right, kiddo. ❞
❝ I AM THE ONE THAT WEIGHS A TON DON’T NEED A GUN— ❞
❝ HECK. ❞
❝ GOTTA FUCKING BLAST. ❞
❝ That’s my cue to blast outta here. ❞
❝ GOT ME MOTHERFUCKING MCSHOOK. ❞
❝ Thoroughly shooken. ❞
❝ LISTEN— ❞
❝ Trust me, I’m a professional. ❞
❝ I’m gonna throw myself off of a fucking bridge. ❞
❝ I’m convinced I was a cat in a past life. ❞
❝ Inject caffeine directly into my veins, please. ❞
❝ I literally have a ‘white people voice’ for when I’m being polite. ❞
❝ I sound like a fucking twelve year old. ❞
❝ I got a tiny ass head. It’s like a fucking golf ball. ❞
BITTER SHIT.
❝ _____ is the literal bane of my existence. ❞
❝ I hate you. …I’m kidding. ❞
❝ Yeah, well, he’s/she’s/they’re a manipulative cunt, so. ❞
❝ I’m gonna punch you in the fucking mouth. ❞
❝ I’m small and bitter like an espresso. ❞
❝ I am Denatonium benzoate, aka the most bitter substance on the planet. ❞
❝ *facepalm* ❞
❝ *frustrated groaning* ❞
❝ I hate _____ with every fiber of my being. ❞
❝ I will kick your fucking ass. ❞
❝ Don’t you fucking dare. ❞
❝ I get it, I’m fucking short. ❞
LOVEY SHIT.
❝ You mean a lot to me. Like, seriously, a fucking lot. ❞
❝ I do it because I love you. ❞
❝ *fondly* Fucking nerd. ❞
❝ *fondly* Dumbass. ❞
❝ You are my absolute favorite person. ❞
❝ *heart eyes* ❞
❝ Don’t even fucking think about leaving without giving me a hug. ❞
❝ *whining noises and grabby hands* ❞
❝ There he/she/they go(es), the love of my life. ❞
❝ It’s literally unfair how attractive he/she/they is/are. ❞
❝ Look at how pretty he/she/they is/are, I’m gonna fucking cry. ❞
❝ I just wanna smooch his/her/their face. ❞
❝ JUST LOOK AT HIM/HER/THEM! I’M GONNA SCREAM. ❞
MOM-FRIEND SHIT.
❝ I am mom-friend. ❞
❝ You best not be fucking texting and driving. ❞
❝ Do you want ____? ❞
❝ Please don’t do that, you’re worrying me. ❞
❝ Listen, my job is to make sure everyone else is okay. ❞
❝ ‘Drink water kids!’ I say as I am severely dehydrated. ❞
❝ ____, that’s not good. ❞
❝ Who do I have to fucking fight? ❞
ANGSTY SHIT.
❝ I hate myself with every fiber of my being. ❞
❝ I’m just really fucking scared. ❞
❝ I’m sorry that I love you. ❞
❝ I’m sorry that I’m like this. ❞
❝ What’s wrong with me? ❞
❝ God, this happens every fucking time. ❞
❝ I loved her/him/them. And she/he/they fucking abandoned me. ❞
❝ I don’t know what I’m doing. ❞
❝ Why the fuck am I crying? ❞
❝ I’m getting bad again. ❞
❝ It’s like everything goes in one ear, out the other with you. ❞
❝ I’ve told you time and fucking time again that it makes me feel like shit, and yet you still do it. ❞
❝ I look and feel like absolute shit. ❞
❝ It’s nothing, I’m fine. ❞
SLEEPY SHIT.
❝ I’m so fucking exhausted. ❞
❝ I really wanna just sleep. ❞
❝ I need to just sleep for like 17 years. ❞
❝ I could literally fall asleep anywhere. ❞
❝ I’m gonna pass out in the middle of the hallway. ❞
❝ I’m already fucking tired. ❞
❝ If I sit still in one place for like 30 minutes, I will fall asleep. ❞
❝ Can I just nap instead? ❞