It's Always been Us
summary: After your unplanned confession, you avoid Seungkwan until an unexpected issue brings you to contact him. When you finally get in touch, secrets are revealed.
Part 3 of As it Was
pairing: Middle School Teacher! Reader x Entertainer!Seungkwan
word count: 16.5k (1h~ read)
warnings: miscommunication, mentions of past trouble, unprotected sex, background character cheating, creampie, body worship, dry humping, minor mentions of exhibitionism, so many spicy scenes.
A/N: AND IT'S OVER!!!! thank you so much, everyone!
âThis is Boo Seungkwan, Iâm not available right now, leave a message after the beep.â
Beep.
âHeyâ Uh, I know we havenât spoken in a while butâ Can you please call me back?â
Beep.
âSeungkwan. Look. Iâ I know I suck, but can you, please, just call me back?â
Beep.
âHey, Itâs me again⊠I havenât heard anything from you⊠Is everything OK? Please, call me.â
Beep.
âLookâ I know it was wrong of me to give you the cold shoulder, but this is serious, I mean itâ You need to call me back.
Beep.
âIâm sorryâ Look, Iâ Can you please, just call me? I really need to talk to you.â
Fresh-faced and well-groomed, Seungkwan exhales wealth as he trudges through the crowded streets he grew up in. A far-cry from his fresh-faced youth, he attracts curious look standing in an expensive, tailored suit draped over his slender figure, with matching accessories and a trusty pair of branded sunglasses.
Usually, heâd stop at his mumâs, bother his sisters and nephews for a bit, deliver gifts and stories of his big-city living. But today, your house is the first stop in his itinerary and, if everything goes right, it might just be the last for today.
Knocking on the door, he adjusts himself, fixing his blazer and hair. His heart pounds incessantly against his ribs and his clammy palms are wiped against his trousers in the hopes of lessening nervousness. In his breast pocket, there is a small velvet box that lays heavier than its real weight ever could.
The door swings open, prompting him to put on his nicest smile, only to be met with his second sisterâs unsightly frown, she assesses his posture.
âAh, youâre here,â She announces in a flat voice, no excitement whatsover. Usually, he would make hell over anything, but today, he has pressing matters at hand. He had mentioned in passing he would be flying home soon, but his sisterâs presence in your home still remained unexplained â not that he cared, right now.
âIsâ Is she here?â Gesturing inside, Seungkwan stumbles over his words. His sister nods and steps aside, allowing him to finally cross the threshold of your place, somewhere in the other room, he can hear your soft footsteps and clumsy banging of pots and pans; his heart races faster.
âWhy are you here?â He finally asks,
Unbothered, she replies with a deep sigh, âSo she wouldnât run away before you got here.â
âWhoâs at the door?â
Itâs your voice he hears, always sweeter than he remembered. The moment it touches his ears, his throat closes up like it never has before. He stretches his neck and inhales all the courage he muster up.
âSomeone you hate,â His sister jokes, immediately reaching for her bag and keys.
âWhat?â He can hear you question, pitter-patter of bare feet closer and closer. He almost turns around to stop his sister from leaving, suddenly overwhelmed with his nerves.
That is until he sees you.
âSeungkwan?â It comes out as a whisper, you doubt your own eyes but the name flows naturally past your tongue.
Seungkwan freezes in place, the bouquet in his hand â your favourite flowers, â slip from his grasp and meet an undeserving fate on the ground.
Had it been anyone else, the bump protruding against your loose tee wouldâve remained unseen; uncared for. But Seungkwan knew your body inside and out, he knew every nook and cranny, every beauty spot and scar. Countless nights were spent ravishing your very essence over and over, learning and teaching you about yourself.
Okay, maybe you had gained a little weight, he wasnât one to judge, not when you looked absolutely stunning â Though he did seem biased. But you cradled that bump with so much care, it couldnât be anything else.
Eyes widened in sheer terror, you immediately remove your hands from your stomach, sending them flying behind your back in shame. But itâs too late.
He knows the truth.
âIâll leave you two to it,â His sister announces much to your disdain. Before you can protest, she just grabs her things and leaves.
Thereâs silence.
Unnerving, immovable, silence that wraps its cold tendrils around your throat, squeezing tighter and tighter with every passing second.
Looking at his face resurfaces plenty emotions; rage, relief, hatred, confusion, but there is so much love still; you realise, that despite it all, there is still love. Seems you are really cursed to love him.
Seungkwan is similarly shell shocked, though for different reasons. Beautiful hands hanging by his side, those gorgeous lips you love so much are agape as he stares at you: betrayed.
âAre youâŠ?â
The question trails off and it hangs awkwardly in the couple feet between you, every syllable stumbling to the ground. He doesnât need to finish it, you both know what heâs talking about.
You nod.
âIs itââ He gulps, swallowing down the excruciating thought that perhaps you had found someone else. âIs it mine?â
Offended, you scoff, holding back the rage that sits at your tongue. You nod.
You were pregnant with his child.
He almost lets out a sigh of relief, releasing a breath he never realised was held. And then his eyes glaze over with unshed tears: hurt.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â Itâs a broken up whisper, cradled in pain and betrayal and it disappears in the air, small and so, so tender.
For a split second, you feel guilty. Looking at his glossy eyes that shine so beautifully, youâre overcome with an overwhelming urge to comfort him. But you are met with the rest of your unaddressed emotions. The ungodly amount of rage you have been shoving down every time you think about him.
âDidnât tell you?!â Your voice trembles as you raise your tone, finally pouring out everything, âSeungkwan, I fucking called you for a monthâ I messaged you, I called youâ I did everything!â You take a step forward, fingers tightly woven into a fist, fingernails painfully digging into your palms, âYou didnât call me back. You never did! You threw me away.â
Your words are painful. Not to you as much as it is to him. You feel some relief, finally getting closure.
But Seungkwan is floored, every words hanging heavy on the pit of his stomach, coercing acid but never allowing themselves to be fully digested; no. They hang around past their welcome, scratching at his insides until they are a bright shade of inflamed red.
You think he threw you away. How could you think that? After you left just like that and never called baâ Oh.
Itâs only then, realisation settles like a bucket of ice cold water poured over your back. Seungkwan runs his fingers over his face with a quiet whisper of âShitâŠâ
âYeah. Shit.â You cross your arms over your chest, in the hopes of hiding your shaking hands.
âNoâ Lookâ, Do you remember my PR manager?â
Still somewhat angry, you side-eye him, âYeah, she fucking hates me.â
âTurns out she hated me, too,â He says, taking a step to close the distance between you, âItâs a long storyâ I fired her and she retaliated, got rid of my phone, laptop, locked me out of my social media accounts, I just got access to my accounts this week, but my phone is gone.â
Your eyes soften with the soft threading of hope. You want to believe him, to know it wasnât on purpose, to know you hadnât been abandoned. A part of your wants to grasp at any explanation, just take it without questioning. Anything is better than being thrown aside.
But you have grown to realise over the years that although the pain is unbearable, tomorrow still comes.
You were owed an explanation. A true, believable reason for everything you went through after all the missed calls and radio-silence.
For once, you needed him to be there.
A year ago, you wouldâve been content with your situationship, but now youâve got someone else to care for. A little someone that will need stability.
âI begged you to call me. You never did.â Your voice is so broken by the pain, he wants to pick up the pieces and softly put them back together. Thereâs an emotion that hurts him more than your pain: Acceptance.
You would be okay with his absence.
Oh, he wouldnât manage. The very thought of it drove him insane.
âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry, Iâll do anything,â He brings his hands together, eyebrows furrowed together.
You just look at him, unsure how to proceed. How to process all the emotions that hadnât even been acknowledged until a minute ago.
With a heavy sigh, you close your eyes. âHave you eaten?â
Seungkwan smiles, beautiful eyes bathed in hope, in adoration, âI havenât.â
âIâll fix you up something.â
Itâs weird, sitting in your kitchen, awkwardly fidgeting with his suit while you bang pots and pans, heating up leftovers from lunch. His plan has gone to absolute shit and heâd just found out somewhat accidentally about his own future.
Seungkwan stands up in search of cutlery to set the table with, something to do with himself. He smiles at the fact that everything remains in the same place since last time heâd been here.
You turn off the knobs on your stove and turn around to find a silicone mat lest you burn your table; it was good, solid, oak and you took great care of it. Your cooking smells good, it always does.
Youâre the first to sit down, a heavy sigh leaving your lips. He follows shortly after, making no ceremony of filling up his plate.
âWhen did you lose your phone?â You break the silence, chewing on your lower lip; Your eyes refuse to meet his.
Half-bite, he answers, âI think like a month after we saw each other?â
âWhy didnât you contact me before today?â Your voice cracks, you wish it hadnât. You wish you had composure when standing before the man you love.
Seungkwan sighs, putting down his plate, debating on telling you the truth or white lies. The reason he avoided contact was simple; he wanted to be better, to be fully better, before seeing you again. No messes for you to clean, he wanted to be someone worthy.
âIâ I wasnât sureâŠâ Itâs a half-truth.
âSure of what?â You finally look at him, trembling hands clasped together over your lap.
He dodges any eye contact, pulling at his eggs with the chopsticks. Seeing your expression would be enough to destroy any courage left, âWhat could I have said?â Itâs the truth.
âAnything!â You raise your voice, slamming your hands against the table, which you immediately regret once the pain travels over your aching palms.
Itâs enough to get a reaction out of him. His brows furrow, and with a scoff, he lets his chopsticks fall onto his plate, âWhat?! After you left like that? You didnât even say goodbyeâ You justââ He stops himself, gulping down any resentment.
Youâre caught.
The subject you evaded like the devil from the cross comes back to bite.
âI donât wanna talk about it,â You look away, chest heaving under your nerves.
Seungkwan softens his voice, trying a different approach, âWe have to talk about it.â
âI donât want to!â He can see how much youâre shaking, clasping your hands together in the hopes he wonât notice. So he leaves the subject alone, despite its persistence on eating him up from the inside.
Suddenly taken by hunger, you huff, grabbing a bowl and stuffing your face.
Against his better judgement, he smiles, watching your cheeks round around your mouthful of food.
âWhat?â You ask accusingly.
âNothing,â Seungkwan shakes his head with a soft smile plastered over his pretty lips. He clears his throat before asking. âWhen did you find out about it?â
Itâs first time either of you acknowledge the situation since earlier.
âA month ago.â
He sighs. Trying his best to imagine how desperate and utterly abandoned you mustâve felt.
âDo you know what is it?â
You shrug, shaking your head
âDo youââ He tries his best to gather words that will communicate his thoughts, âDo you want it?â
Your neck snaps toward him, cheeks round with food as you glare. âStop saying âitâ.â
âSorryââ He corrects himself, âDo you want the baby?â
You nod. âYeah.â
Itâs weird how relieved he feels, if anyone had asked him a week ago how he felt about becoming a father heâd say no. But itâs a tempting scenario. A luring future of white picket fence and a couple of kids who looked like you.
But terrifying all at the same time.
You chew on your lip, playing with the tablecloth, âDoâ Do you?â
Seungkwan looks up from his plate, surprised.
Your eyes are so intent on him, his every expression. You hadnât held much hope since the unanswered calls, but this sudden visit, the fact that for once, he is here. It toys with your emotions, dangles your every dream in front your very eyes.
âItâs your choiceâŠâ He whispers.
Not satisfied, you press further. âDo you want to be a father?â
Itâs a slap to the face, a forceful acknowledgement of the situation and his own feelings toward it. Did he actually want this?
It was a known fact that more often than not, denying fatherhood came easy for men; Say you donât want to be a part of it, sign away your rights and fuck off to live your life unbothered.
Despite the choice being there, Seungkwan couldnât fathom even considering leaving everything behind. A whole life created between the two of you with the perfect mix of your features. The word âFatherhoodâ felt too heavy on his tongue.
ââŠYes.â Seungkwan answers, surprising not only you but himself, as well. âYes, I want to be a father andâ I want to be a part of the babyâs life⊠Will you let me?â
But he wanted it all. Sleepless nights, stinky diapers, colic, teething. He wanted to be a part of this childâs life.
He anxiously awaits your response to his confession, watches how your eyes widen, glossy with the imminent threat of stubborn tears and how your lips wobble.
You smile, relived, nodding.
Since your failed attempts to communicate with Seungkwan, you had somewhat given up on having the father of your child be present; Especially with how avoidant of commitment he always presented himself to be.
Ever since he left for the big city, Seungkwan always brushed off relationships as flings, never lived in one place too long, failed to settle down anywhere. Itâs hard, believing his words.
But youâre nothing if not a fool for him.
Seungkwan smiles. Standing up, letting the chair bounce with the sudden movement, he kneels on the tiled floor in front of you.
His hands, his long, slender fingers find your own, enveloping your palms in his unending warmth. His touch is so delicate, yet so comforting. You didnât even realise just how much youâve missed holding his stupid pretty hands.
Blame it on the hormones how you completely break down into an ugly, crying, mess and fold onto his shoulders.
Without a word, he comforts you with soft pats until your sobbing ceases into soft sighs. Though, his legs might give up any time now from kneeling on kitchen tile.
âLetâs get married,â He whispers and as soon as the words leave his lips, his heart skips the next couple of beats in anticipation.
âWhat?â Hoarsely, you sniffle, raising your head to face him.
âLetâs get married, move to Seoul⊠Letâs raise the baby together.â Thereâs a dumbfounded smile plaguing his face, he can only imagine how happy you will be to know that heâs finally ready to be in a true, loving relationship.
You furrow your eyebrows.
âNo.â
You watch his smile crack and shatter, he watches you face for any sign of jest, hoping youâd break into a smile and say âjust kiddingâ. But you donât. And you seem just as confused as he is.
You said you loved him.
Had you feelings changed in the matter of the three months you hadnât talked? Was he not good enough?
He couldnât understand why would you refuse his proposal.
âWhat?â Finally, his knees give up on him, wobbling until he falls to his butt, sitting on the cool tiled floor, though it seems almost warm compared to the coldness that washes over the pit of his stomach. âWhy not?â
Your eyes donât meet him, you wipe your nose and face with the sleeve of your cardigan. âIâ I donât understand whyâ Why youâre asking me thatââ You stumble over your words.
âWeâre having a baby! Itâs the obvious next step!â Seungkwan exclaims, as a matter of fact.
âNo?â You shrug, âIâm not marrying you because you knocked me up!â
âWhy not?!â
âPeople should marry out of love!â You explain, âNot just have a shotgun wedding, it never works outâ! I donât wanna be the girl you married because of the birth control fail rate!â
âDonât you love me?â
His voice is such a broken whisper, so quiet and soft, almost as if accidental.
Your eyes finally meet his and your throat hurts with weight of the three letter confession, but you gulp it down, hoping your stomach acid will dissolve your unrequited feelings.
âNot enough to put my child through a loveless marriage.â
He stands up on shaky legs, wiping his hands on his jeans. Eyes refusing to meet yours lest he shed a single tear.
No, he wouldnât cry, not in front of you.
Wiping his hands across his face, he lets out a heavy sigh and the very sound of the aftermath of such a heated discussion is enough to bring you to tears. Part of him aches to comfort you, to wrap his arms around your body and nuzzle against your neck. His hands itch to reach and hold you until your tears are gone, to whisper sorry over and over, until you take him back. But his pride boils his blood hotter than any wish of affection could.
âIâll be at my mumâs.â
Itâs all he says before he leaves and once the front door slams shut with a deafening âBangâ, you crumble to the cold floor, quietly sobbing into your hands.
Itâs well past midnight by the time Seungkwan hears a somewhat familiar âthudâ on his window pane. The moon stands proud in the darkened sky, illuminating his childhood bedroom. He crawls out of bed, already missing the warmth of his duvet, and approaches the source of the noise with some caution, expecting an animal.
But once he pulls up the frosty glass, he sees you standing on his backyard, rocking back and forth on your feet, a large jacket wrapped around your shoulders.
Once you spot him, you flash a wide smile, lifting the one hand that doesnât hold a dangerously large rock to wave.
Confused at your reasoning to be here, Seungkwan gestures wildly at his non-existent wristwatch. You just flip him off with a roll of your eyes and gesture for him to meet you at the door.
He scrambles to find his coat and not wake up his mother, a flashback of his teenage years.
How many times did you throw rocks at his window in the middle of the night or vice-versa. He always complained about how you were such a âbad influenceâ but never once refused to meet you past midnight. Youâd sneak out and fool around while the Sun was still down. And he would quietly sneak back in just as the Sun started to peak from the horizon.
Once the front door is safely shut and heâs sure that his mother isnât up from the ruckus. He immediately turns to you.
âWhat the hell are you thinking?! Itâs freezing out here!â He whisper-yells, wrapping the spare coat around your shoulders and throwing the scarf onto your face.
It smells strongly of his cologne; You inhale, letting the scent surround your lungs and flow through your veins, fill your bloodstream with his essence.
âIâm really craving convenience store food,â You speak out so meekly, your eyes hazy with sleep and nose tingling in the cold night air. Any other strong words he had conjured walking downstairs die on his tongue at the sight of your soft smile.
âYouâre paying,â Itâs a truce.
You smile excitedly, adjusting the scarf around your neck.
That convenience store just a street down from his childhood home had been the set for many his teenage adventures. Every poorly kept wall and crack in the concrete held cherished memories of your youth. The food hadnât changed in the decades passed, yet it still beat any three-star restaurant he made a show of dining in.
You fill the basket with junk food, happily swaying back and forth under the blinking fluorescents. Seungkwan scoffs at your happiness over instant-noodles.
He pays and you grab your things, finding a place to sit while he prepares the noodles.
Youâre snacking on chips when he returns with the noodles, practically throwing them down on the counter before he blows at his fingertips. You giggle at his misfortune.
âShould we talk?â You ask, chowing down on your food, moaning at its divine taste.
Seungkwan tuts at your happiness. Heâd taken you to expensive restaurants before, wined and dined you into five-star hotels. But somehow, these soggy noodles tasted better than anything else.
âItâs fine,â He says.
You hum.
He notices how you cradle your bump when you eat.
You did it earlier, too, when he was at your place.
âIs the baby happy?â He asks, eyes focused on his food.
You break into a wide smile, âMhm, very happy.â
Youâre unable to see his face, but you see his cheeks rounded into a gorgeous smile.
Suddenly, seeming to remember something, you hum. âI had to give you this,â You speak with your mouth full which causes Seungkwan to scowl with a disgusted face.
He watches you fumble with your jacket pocket until you pull out a crumbled, tiny, piece of paper. You hand it to him.
Itâs a sonogram.
A blurry, black and white, mess of pixels that he canât help but be weirdly attached to immediately.
Thereâs such a warm smile on your face when you lean onto his shoulder, pointing at the picture.
âHereâs the little feet⊠Hereâs the headâŠâ
Unknowingly, he reaches his pointer finger to touch that teeny tiny blurry head.
âItâs a shitty photo,â His voice cracks and he doesnât hide it well.
Youâre giggling, and itâs a comforting, lovely sound, âItâs not so bad.â
âDo you think theyâll look like me?â He asks in a quiet whisper filled with wonder.
âOh, I hope not, the poor thing,â You tease, earning an annoyed hiss.
âTheyâd be lucky when the other option is looking like you,â Laughing at his quip, you lean over his shoulder, daydreaming about the looks of your baby.
Leaving the convenience store, you munch on a corn dog, swaying your hands in the breeze. The next stop comes naturally, the nearby playground where you spent most of your nightly escapades during your teenage years.
âWhat do you think itâs gonna be?â He asks, taking one of the unoccupied swings.
You follow suit, sitting on swing. âI donât know,âwith a shrug, you return his question, âWhat do you think?â
âI havenât thought about itâŠâ
Humming, you focus on your corndog. âI might find out next appointment, if the baby doesnât decide to close their little legs.â
He perks up so adorably, âWhen is your next appointment?â
âNext week,â You reply and he quietly ponders just how will he manage to sneak in. âYouâre gonna be there, right?â
âYeah, of course,â Seungkwan says nonchalantly, but hides a beaming smile behind his right hand.
Thereâs a couple minutes of silence, though you donât feel compelled to speak. You just sit there, rocking back and forth and enjoying this peaceful moment.
âHow far along are you?â Itâs a shy question, one he thinks he shouldâve known, as the father.
âSixteen weeks,â itâs such an automatic answer you donât even question it until you can hear his soft murmurs as he counts on his fingers just how many months that is.
âFour months?â
âMhm,â You reply, taking the last bite of your snack.
âShouldnât you be⊠I donât know, bigger?â
You laugh, âI just started showing last week.â
âSeriously?â
âYeah, I mean, you could feel my stomach was more rigid than flabby but at a glance no one could tell.â
âDoes it feel hard?"
âA bit?â You stand up and walk to where heâs sitting, âHere, feel it.â Seungkwan puts his feet down, ceasing any movement from the swing and wraps his hands around your bump. Itâs weird, having someone touch your stomach. In fact, aside from your doctor, he was the first to do so.
You watch him look at your belly like it were his everything; his caramel eyes hold so much adoration. Thereâs stubborn hope that burns in your heart that, maybe, if you have him by your side, everything will be okay.
On the day of your appointment, Seungkwan accompanies you to the clinic, rushed whispers and fake stories told to his mother about his whereabouts. If it were up to him, heâd announce it to the world but you still feared that his fear of commitment would rear its ugly head and you would end up alone once again.
Youâd messaged the receptionist, asking for some discretion during your appointment, however, you did notice some whispering coming from the nurses about TV comedian Boo Seungkwanâs appearance at an OB-GYN clinic.
He is annoyingly lovely, reassuring you over and over that itâs okay, heâs told his manager about it and things will be handled. Which in hindsight is somewhat terrifying that his manager knows about your pregnancy before the babyâs own grandparents.
Called into the office and free from the judgement-heavy waiting room, you rush inside, shedding your cardigan and laying on the bed. Youâre practically a pro at this while Seungkwan struggles with the best ways how to hold your purse and coat.
He even looks surprised at how brazenly you unbutton your trousers and pull them out of the way.
Your doctor, a lovely middle-aged lady and mother of one of your students, is very glad to see you and quite puzzled at Seungkwanâs presence. She, however, is more than willing to explain the process and answer his every question, no matter how stupid or how many times heâs asked it in the past half hour.
âEverything alright?â She asks, spreading the cold gel along your skin. You never did get used to that goopy, gross feeling.
You nod and she turns on the large monitor sitting above the bed. Seungkwan stands almost a foot away from the bed, clinging to your belongings, sneakily rearing his head toward the monitor.
âThis is the head,â She announces, holding the image still as she takes a screenshot for later. âDevelopment is looking nice, mum.â She smiles before correcting herself, ââŠAnd dad.â
You giggle at how weird it sounds to be referred to as a parent just yet.
Itâs not long before the room is filled with that muffled thump-thump sound youâd recorded and played over and over the past couple of months.
Seungkwan worriedly looks at you.
You smile at his dumbfounded, worried expression.
âThatâs their heartbeat,â She tells Seungkwan, still enjoying the amazement of first-time parents even after so many years.
âCome closer,â You urge.
And he does so, standing by your side and staring up at that big monitor, watching the blurry grey blob move around. That muffled, almost wet sounding constant thump seems to make his own heart pound faster.
Seungkwan had somewhat come to term about being a parent; keyword being somewhat. Itâs something to be told about it, even seeing the pregnancy tests you held onto as a keepsake. But hearing this babyâs beating heart, seeing them move around in that screen, it felt so tangible.
And a lot scarier, too.
âHeartbeat is nice and steady,â You smile at her announcement.
You glance at Seungkwan, who promptly hides his face, shaking away the stubborn tears that threaten to be shed. Fuck these hormones, theyâre the ones to blame at how emotional that scene made you.
âSeems like baby is cooperating today,â The doctor comments and you laugh, âWanna find out the gender?â
Biting at your lips, you glance at Seungkwan. Itâs the first time youâve included him during this visit. And itâs his first time giving his opinion on such an important matter.
âDo you want to?â He returns the question.
âYour sister said I should have a party,â You grimace thinking about parading around and having people all over you.
He shrugs, âWe could⊠But do you want to?â
âI donât know?!â
âWe can tell a trusted family member or we can wait until you are ready to find out, it will be on your chart, so when youâre ready, just give us a call.â The doctor explains, hoping it will make your choice easier.
Once again, you glance at him.
âItâs your choice,â He says.
âBut what do you want?â
He thinks. âItâd be nice to have a get-together with the family, we can have a barbecue, nothing too fancy.â
When he put it like that, it sounded so tempting but maybe you were just hungry.
âIâd like to have a family member know, please,â You tell the doctor.
She smiles, âAlright, I can give you an envelope with the results, is that okay?â
You nod.
The rest of the appointment goes smoothly. Your stomach is growling so loudly you donât even bother asking Seungkwan if he wants a ride home, you just drag him to your car and drive off to the nearest restaurant. Not that he has any complaints â Heâs worked quite the appetite and many questions need answers.
Youâre seated rather quickly and given menus.
âWhat do you want to eat? My treat,â Itâs a sort of apology for dragging him out here.
Seungkwan looks at the menu, âI think Iâll take the carbonara,â He hums, âWait, do you have any food that will make you throw up?â
âHuh?â You raise an eyebrow.
âIn the movies you know someone is pregnant because they run out of the room to throw up.â
Oh, heâs 100% serious about this and you push down the part of you that finds it adorable.
You laugh, âNo, I donât. Thatâs usually on the first trimester⊠I actually didnât get very nauseous, just very hungry.â
He hums in understatement. âAre you sure that was the baby and not just you?â
You ball up a napkin and throw at him.
Once the order is placed, the waiter leaves and youâre both left at the booth flipping through your respective phones.
âDo you think your sister can help us with the gender reveal?â You ask, finally putting your phone down.
âYeah,â He nods, âWhen are you thinking?â
âI donât know⊠Iâll start really showing soon, I want the cat out of the bag.â
The waiter returns with your drinks.
âHave you told your mum?â You ask, thinking that it should be okay. Itâs only his family, they should know.
Seungkwan smiles. âNot yetâŠâ
âShe canât find out at the party. You need to tell her beforehand.â
âI got it.â
âThat reminds me, my family kind of doesnât know youâre a part of it nowâŠâ You approach the subject quietly. âThey may or may not hate your guts for not being here for me.â
He stares at you, dumbfounded until he breaks out into laughter.
âGoddammit.â
âWhat?! Itâs not my fault!â You defend yourself, using the straw to toy with the floating ice cubes swimming in your orange juice.
âYou couldâve told them!â
With a sigh, you admit defeat. âIâll tell my family when you tell your mum.â
Heâs fully ready to counterattack your jabs but is interrupted by the food, much to your pleasure.
You practically devour your food and leave no room for dessert, instead opting to buy something sweet after youâve digested your lunch â you found your baby had a sweet tooth and you always craved a little sugary treat. You pay for the food and Seungkwan drives you home to plan a party.
Seungkwanâs sisters had been a Godsend. They helped with every step of the way and planned the entire gender reveal party â Which wasnât as much of a party as it was a family barbecue.
All you needed to do was just show up and cut up the cake to reveal the gender of your baby.
You just started to really show, a protruding round little bump that poked its way through your every clothing, no matter how baggy. Seungkwan was the first to point out just how evident it became.
The guests wore a mix of pink and blue. You wearing blue yourself, a very strong believer that your midnight kicker is a little boy.
Meanwhile, the babyâs father completely disagrees, sporting his baby pink button-up.
Seungkwan hovers around you the whole day, a pleasant surprise. Youâd been nervous about putting the news out there. Despite it making its way through the grapevine and rumours floating through the spaces you frequented, no one was really sure. It was finally time to rip out the band-aid and make the news public.
Though you insisted he hung a bit farther lest people he realise about the paternity, he showed no intents of doing so. He waited on you hand and foot, bringing as many cupcakes as your little bean wished for. It seemed that the past weeks spent together had given Seungkwan an awakened sixth sense, he could always guess what your baby craved and was more than willing to fetch the item, no matter how gross.
When it was finally time to cut the cake and find out, he was insistent on being at your side, guiding your knife-cradling hand â Part of it just pushing it away from himself. You did warn him about family posting it online and the fact that this could blow out of proportion, but he just reassured you again and again.
Most of the family has their phones out, recording the moment with bated breath. You can barely breathe yourself.
The knife slides in, cutting through soft icing.
You close your eyes, relying completely on Seungkwan to guide you. The knife comes back up and goes back in for the second cut.
Seungkwan hands you the spatula and helps you lift the cake slice up and into the vision of everyone around.
The spectators burst into cheer.
You still havenât got half a mind to look down.
âA baby girl,â He whispers into your ear and your eyes flash open.
Putting the cake down before you fling off the yard, you immediately throw yourself onto his arms, a choked sob escaping your lips, âWeâre having a girl!â
He kisses your hair and hides his red face from the camera, not willing to have his teary-eyed expression so eternal.
Once the adrenaline slows down, you tear your way through the cake, sitting far away from the commotion. Seungkwan is at your side, an arm resting behind you.
âCongrats!â
The male voice almost isnât enough to tear away the undivided attention youâve been giving to your piece of cake, but Seungkwanâs bewildered expression piques your interest.
You look up from your plate.
And there he is; Kwon Soonyoung, a high-school buddy of yours. He was a rowdy kid, fun to party with but not much else. He had a hard time knowing when to quit. You wonder just why he had been invited until you remember his mum is your mumâs neighbour.
âThanks,â You hum, still occupied with your food.
âA baby, huh?â
âYup.â
âYou never mentioned anything about getting married in the reunion⊠I was surprised,â He beats around the bush, raising a curious eyebrow. Seungkwan scoffs at his very obvious actions.
âIâm not married,â You reply, not really paying attention.
He lifts an eyebrow, âMust have your hands full, huh?â
âYeah.â
Soonyoung clears his throat.
âHow far along are you?â
âTwenty weeks.â
Seungkwan watches him count on his fingers. You poke Seungkwan and nudge at his arm with your empty plastic plate, which you had done about twice this afternoon. He sighs and rolls his eyes, but gets up regardless.
âWow, thatâs really far alongâŠâ
You nod, no longer having your food to be entertained with.
âC-Can I feel it?â
God, you hate that question. But at least he asked instead of just shoving his grimy hands on your stomach. Heâs lucky youâre in a good mood, youâve had old ladies patting your growing belly all day, whatâs another one? It was a special occasion.
âSure.â
Soonyoung is very amazed, he keeps oohâin and aahâing, rubbing your bump over the fabric of your shirt for a bit too long. Usually old ladies would just touch your belly, feel your baby kick and make a comment or two on how healthy your child will be.
Seems like your baby girl is having none of it, either since she has seized any and all movement since Soonyoung approached. You donât hide your discomfort.
Seungkwan comes back, plate and drink in hand. Heâs so weirded out by the scene, you barely hold back a laugh at the sight of his scrunched up face, Soonyoung still, doesnât realise anything else.
âThe fuck you doing?â
Soonyoung jumps at the harsh words. âIâm just feelinâ her, man.â
Seungkwan side-eyes your unimpressed expression. You let Soonyoung coo at your stomach for another five seconds before youâve had enough, you nod at Seungkwan.
âAlright, thatâs enough.â Seungkwan hisses, stomping his foot onto the soft grass as if to attack. Soonyoung jumps, immediately removing his hands from you and you finally breathe in relief, leaning back in your seat and watching Seungkwan deal expertly with him.
âWhatâs it to you, man?â Soonyoung exclaims, but it comes out very timid under Seungkwanâs displeased gaze.
âThatâs my fucking daughter youâre infecting with your weird ass vibes. I donât want her to be contaminated any further.â
Completely taken aback, Soonyoung canât find any words to reply to the insult. Itâs one thing to be rude, but to insult a manâs vibes is unbelievable. He looks at you with twinkling, hopeful little eyes, waiting for you to be the less offensive parent.
âYou heard him. Shoo,â You wave your hand, happy to be rid of company.
You and Seungkwan break into a fit of laughter, watching the poor guy walk away.
When the party is over, youâre more relieved than anything. Seungkwan stays behind and helps you clean up the place. Which basically means he cleans up while you shower and slip into your comfiest clothes, not that youâre complaining.
Youâre sitting at the sofa, hand resting on your stomach when he finally comes downstairs. Fresh from his shower, he smells like your bodywash.
He settles down next to you.
âTired?â You ask.
He hums.
âHowâs my babygirl?â He whispers, leaning over to talk to your belly. You donât fight the giddy smile that takes over. It had been a couple of weeks since Seungkwan started talking to your baby â The doctor recommended he pick up on the habit so the baby could recognise his voice.
And he had no shame at all, making small talk with your unborn daughter any time he could, which was a complete 180 from you, who felt quite awkward at times.
âKicking,â You sigh, âItâs way past her bedtime!â
He laughs.
âGive mummy a rest, will you?â
You laugh, running your hand over your clothed stomach in the hopes of calming your baby. She seemed to settle down once Seungkwan started talking though.
âHere,â He grabs a tiny fancy bag hidden behind his back.
You raise an eyebrow. âWhatâs this?â He just smiles.
Opening the bag, you find the tiniest little off-white onesie, with the words âDaddyâs little beanâ embroidered on the front. You pick it up, finding it so small in your hands you canât imagine a little human would fill it up soon.
âYou know this is our daughterâs first onesie?â You smile, running your fingers over the embroidered text.
Seungkwan stares at you.
âWhat?â You ask, worried.
He smiles. âItâs the first time youâve said âOurâ.â
Your brows furrow and then you smile again, pressing your lips together to fight any stubborn emotions. âShit,â You sniff. âOf course sheâs ours, I didnât make her by myself!â
Goddamn hormones got you again. And it seems they got Seungkwan as well.
You put on a random movie as background noise, not that either of you pay much attention to the plot. Youâre just talking about the busy day youâve had and the fact that finding out your precious baby is a girl. It just makes it all feel much realer.
âUgh, Soonyoung. Who invited him?â Seungkwan moans with a roll of his eyes.
Shoving the last bit of your chocolates into your mouth, you laugh. âI think my mum did.â
âGuy can not get a hint to save his life!â
Youâre laughing at his dramatic antics.
âAnd all that touching?â He shakes his head.
âYou were so cool,â You bite your lip. âWhen you told him to get away from your daughterâŠâ
âHuh?â
âI like it when youâreâŠâ You shift in your seat, pressing your legs together, ââŠPossessive.â
Seungkwan malfunctions, gulping so loudly you can hear it. He looks at your bare legs pressed together, shakes his head and focuses back on your face.
âYeah,â He clears his throat.
It shouldnât come as a surprise that halfway through your second trimester, you feel on fire. Youâre constantly needy. It doesnât help that Seungkwan has been so incredible and unbearably hot so often. âUh-huh,â You hum, leaning forward until you can reach his arm to trace your fingers along his bicep.
The ghost of your touch is enough to send shivers up his spine. Seungkwan blinks once, twice and gulps.
âDonât,â He pleads.
You sigh with a pout and Seungkwan thinks you look so adorable with that cute little pout in your pretty lips.
A shy smile blooms on your face and you lean over to rest your head on his shoulder. âItâs fine if you donât want to,â You shrug. âBut the doctor said it was fine.â Seungkwan had sat awkwardly looking around when the doctor had given you the green light for sexual activity as long as you took it slow.
âNoâ I want to! Trust me. I want to. ButâŠâ He looks over at your stomach. âYou can sit on my face,â He offers but you sigh once again.
âI donât wanna sit on your face, I wanna sit on your cock,â Itâs such a genuine confession you donât even realise the effect it has on him.
Seungkwan chokes.
He closes his eyes, needing a second after the sudden blood loss from his brain. âThatâsâ Thatâs something dangerous to say, yâknow.â
âGood!â You cross your arms over your chest, âNow you know how I feel.â
Almost immediately, he coos reaching forward to grab at your waist. âAw, do you feel that needy for my cock?â
âYou suck.â
He smirks, âYou wish.â
You groan in frustration burying your head in the crook of his neck, he runs his hands over your hair, the scent of your shampoo engulfs him.
âI want you, baby⊠So badâ he whispers, voice hoarse in the late night exhaustion.
âTake me, then.â
âShit, you really know how to push my buttons,â He laughs, the vibrations of his chest travelling through your connected bodies. Your skin burns with desire and his lustful whispers might just melt you.You smile against his skin.
âCan I take you on that offer?â
âHoly fuck, yes.â
With all the care in the world, Seungkwan pushes you to lay back, one leg thrown over his shoulder and the other spread off the couch. He helps you place a cushion behind your back.
Your skin is searing against his cool lips, burning under his scattered butterfly kisses. His slender fingers toy with the band of your underwear, close but not nearly enough to satiate your lustful spell.
But alas, he relishes in your squirms and mewls of anticipation, drawing out each open mouth kiss to the inside of your thigh with devilish pleasure. With your underwear long forgotten, his fingers can graze along your bare hips and the hard bump along your stomach. Hands gripping your hips, he brings them toward his face, nose grazing along your pelvic bone, he inhales.
âFuck⊠You smell fucking divineâŠâ
Any possible reply you had flees from your mind the moment he licks a long stripe along your aching core. His hold keeps you in place, eager tongue diving into your heat to lap at your juices, humming at every nerve that jumps under his attention.
âArenât you sensitive?â He coos, a deep laugh reverberating from his chest and sending goosebumps through your entire body.
You try your best to disguise a scandalous moan with a fake cough. Though you suspect he knows.
âShâshut up!â
His left hand is cautiously placed over your belly, guaranteeing no touch will be too much while his right is running torturous circles along your outer labia. A teasing thumb draws figure eights on your clitoris, You let out a dreamy, muffled moan and it caresses his mind with lust, short-circuiting his brain for a brief second.
âYouâre absolutely dripping, yâknow?â He whispers against your throbbing heat, his tongue positively eager to dive in and taste you.
âMhm,â You hum, âItâs your fault.â
A finger goes in easily, pushing and prodding at your gummy insides, stretching you out. âHow is it my fault?â
You sigh, hand gripping onto a poor throw pillow, âKept teasing me.â
Seungkwan smiles devilishly. Then adds a second finger, scissoring you open, relishing in the squelching sounds your arousal makes against his motions.
âTeasing you, yeah?â
âYâYeah!â You gulp,
âHow come?â He eggs you on, teasingly slow on his ministrations.
âKept walking around allâ All dressed up. You looked soââ Itâs when he massages your most sensitive spot that you lose track of your thoughts.
âGo on, love.â
âLooked so⊠Handsome.â
âDid I, now?â
You nod.
Heâs always one to love a compliment, especially in these circumstances when you sound so needy and sweet. âI need you to elaborate on that.â
âYou looked really good with that button-up,â Seungkwan hums.
âAnd your hair styled like thatâ I wanted to jump you.â You confess With a third finger added, you feel the stretch from his gorgeous, slender fingers curling into your gummy walls. You donât notice your hips grinding into his palm, but he does, of course.
Deciding itâs enough teasing for now, Seungkwan hums with a satisfied smirk, diving down to suckle on your clit.
Caught off-guard, you let out and an unfiltered curse followed by his name.
His fingers thrust in and out of you while tongue is dancing around your bundle of nerves. Youâre squirming but his other hand holds you in place lest you interrupt him in his favourite activity.
Seungkwan is in fact, so lost in it, eyes closed with his eyelashes fluttering along his chubby cheeks, pleasured hums erupting from his throat that he doesnât notice heâs been grinding against a poor cushion.
Your hand find his still damp hair, letting your fingers tangle into your beautiful locks, pulling at his scalp with every other move of his. He hisses at the sting from your desperation, but relishes in it.
With his finger curling against your most sensitive spot, he focus on driving you crazy with his tongue. Flattening it out against your clit, licking long stripes before running it over side to side just before he puckers his lips and sucks.
Your leg thrown over the couch falls onto his back, curling around his torso and pulling him closer, burying his face in your cunt as throw your head back and spill out desperate cries of his name.
He smiles against your throbbing clit, noticing just how much louder youâve gotten.
âClose, baby?â
You nod with a whiny moan.
Itâs more than enough to stimulate him back to his activities, keeping up the pace until youâre shaking even more than before. Your well-deserved orgasm hits your body with inexplicable waves of pleasure.
You whimper out his name in the sultriest of voices, enough to inebriate his mind with blind lust.
He doesnât stop, not until youâve come down from your brief euphoria and are whining from overstimulation, practically pushing him away â A far cry from your attempts of burying him into you just earlier.
Letting go of your tired muscles, you let out a tired sigh, throwing your head back. Post-orgasm bliss enveloping your body in its soft caresses. Seungkwan smiles, finally coming up to look at you.
You look positively satisfied, your skin glowing with a thin layer of sweat but most importantly â pleasure.
He leans forward, clean hand wiping away any stray hairs that are glued to your forehead. Seungkwan has such a soft smile on his swollen, reddened lips, his eyes kiss your face with adoring looks.
Itâs almost easy to ignore the strained bulge poking at your stomach right now.
âYouâŠâ You point out and he looks somewhat caught.
âSorry,â He clears his throat, pulling away.
You immediately grab his arm, âWhat? Noâ Itâs not what I meant.â
His pretty eyes are locked on you. âIâll take care of it.â
âNoâ Let me help you,â You bite at your lower lip, not ever willing to admit the idea of pleasuring Seungkwan aroused you to no end
âWhat? No, youâreââ
âI can still use my hands, you idiot.â
The prospect of a handjob â of any part of you touching his dick, really â is enough to distract him from any insults thrown his way. Hiding his excitement, Seungkwan sits back, legs spread open as he waits for you to settle to his side.
It doesnât take much to pull his rigid cock from his precum stained sweats. It bobs up, standing red and angry against his stomach. He hisses at the sudden feeling of cold air caressing his searing skin.
Chewing on your lip, you lean forward, the brushing of your bare arms enough to make his cock twitch.
You lick your fingers and reach for him: up and down, up and down, running your thumb along his slit, smearing beads of rich precum along his length.
While his lips hold nothing but soft pleas and whines, you work your way over his length, reaching in between your legs to use your own come as lube â Oh, that drove him absolutely insane. The very thought of having your essence wrapped around his cock, shit, itâs still warm, too.
His head rests on your shoulder, every heavy breath tickles your skin. You bite your lower lip, containing your own moans at such a delicious sight. Seungkwan melts like putty in your touch.
Seungkwan whines into your neck, a loud gulp makes his adamâs apple bob up and down, but youâve got your mind laser-focused on giving him just as great of an orgasm. Not that heâs too far from it, no. His fingers, which before were so teasing and precise, now grasp at your arm and clothes, fingers curling around fabric in desperation.
He squirms as you quicken your pace, legs flailing but never interrupting you. Adjusting yourself on the sofa, you lean forward until you are close enough to run your tongue along his length.
âShit!â He jumps, arm moving to grab the back of the sofa.
You lips graze along his absurdly hot skin, leaving well placed kisses at the base; Not ceasing the motion of your hands, instead letting your other hand join in, massaging his balls.
âIâm closeââ He manages to spew out just before he finally cums.
Hot spurts of cum fly up his torso and land on his clean shirt, his legs shake under him and he can barely muster out a single moan. You keep up your strokes until he has nothing left to give.
Seungkwan leans back, arm thrown over his eyes, loud pants coming from his lips.
Teasingly, you kiss his tip before you tuck it back into his underwear.
You wish you had any energy left to tease him some more, but you want nothing more than a bath and your soft bed. So you lay back on the soft, eyelids weighing a ton.
He finally faces you, a tired smile on his lips as he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest.
âShower?â
You smile, âYou read my mind.â
âI want to get a house.â
His announcement comes as a surprise. It had been a lazy weekend, you just started working on dinner and he offered some help.
âA house? Do you not like your fancy apartment anymore?â You pry curiously.
âIâm gonna keep my apartment, itâs just⊠I want to get a house here. For when I come visit you.â
âYou can just stay with me,â You shrug, not seeing the big picture and heâs having a hard time getting out what he really wants to say.
âYeah, but⊠I want our daughter to have a big house and a backyard where she can playâ No offence to your place, but Iâd like her to have more space.â
Stopping in your tracks, you hold back âAwâing at him. âThatâs so sweet.â He smiles, relived. âButâŠâ
Seungkwan half-panics, âBut what?â
âI wonât lie⊠I have been thinking about movingâŠâ
âTo Seoul?â He inches closer.
You nod. âTravelling will be hard for you and⊠Sheâs gonna need her daddy.â Thereâs a soft smile playing in your lips, though Seungkwan is visibly emotional after your words. The stock youâd been carefully adding vegetables to has come to a boil, yet you donât bother giving it any attention.
âA-Are you sure? Itâs a big change.â
âMy contract with the school is almost over and in a couple of months I wonât be able to work until the baby is big enough.â
âThatâs true⊠But you love it here!â
âItâs not like Iâll never come back,â You wave off his concern, âI was thinking I could get a place just outside of the city.â
You had been thinking about it ever since Seungkwan came back and decided to be a part of your daughterâs life. Actually, youâd given it some thought when you found out you were pregnant; you loved your hometown but you wanted to give your child the best chance in life and moving into the big city meant better jobs for you and better education for your baby.
Having him in your childâs life meant that heâd be away for work most of the time and he seemed too excited for all of it, itâd break your heart to see him miss the most important milestones because of the distance.
Seungkwan bites back an excited smile, trying his best to act nonchalantly about it all. âYou could move in with me while we look at houses.â He says quietly, side-eyeing for your reaction.
You scratch at your neck, unsure of how to react. âKwannie, I wouldnât be comfortable making you buy a whole houseâŠâ
âI promise it will be in our daughterâs name. Weâll find somewhere with a big backyard and maybe a pool,â He no longer hid his excitement. The whole situation had been gnawing away at him, too.
You donât deny that it sounds amazing. âThe pool needs to be fenced.â
âOf course.â
âIt has to have a large kitchen,â You play along.
He smiles, âConsider it done.â
âThree bedrooms minimum.â
âAre you planning on having an office? Orââ Seungkwan gulps, a sudden heat blooming in his cheeks, âYou want another kid?â
You choke on your own saliva, staring at him. âA room for each of us!â Slightly embarrassed, he scratches at his neck. âThatâs fine, tooâŠâ
Not that having two kids sounded bad. You were only thinking of your daughter, of course. You didnât want her to be lonely growing up. Thatâs it. Nothing to do with how incredible of a father Seungkwan has shown himself to be and how much that has overthrown your brain.
âIâll start looking,â Seungkwan says, reaching for his phone.
âAlready?â You raise an eyebrow.
âI want us to have everything settled before sheâs here.â
âWhy the rush? Weâve got a couple of months before I give birth.â
âOnce sheâs born we wonât have time to do anything. And my apartment isnât exactly child friendlyâŠâ Not just because he wants to move in with you, not at all.
âThatâs trueâŠâ You bite at your lip, âShit, closing on a house takes time, right? What if we donât have enough time?â Suddenly, youâre very worried about the next couple of months.
âLeave it to me, Iâll make sure we find the perfect place,â He reassures you with a warm smile and you hate how it makes everything alright.
You throw your arms around his neck, excitedly jumping up and down. "Thank you, Kwannie, youâre the best,â Your words are saccharine sweet and Seungkwan finds himself to be overcome with arousal; which had become a common occurrence as of lately.
Not that he didnât find you hot before, but it felt like everything was intensified a thousand fold. You were just so sweet with your protruding bump and neediness. Every time you needed something you came straight to him, even with the smallest of tasks like opening a jar of peanut butter.
Although he liked to pride himself in being free from toxic masculinity, Seungkwan was nothing if not affected by you making him feel like a big strong man.
Youâd just start planning on the future nursery and he reassured you 100% that he could build it all himself with his own two hands â You were so smitten, you immediately jumped to smother his cheeks with kisses.
And he could feel your figure against his chest, how round you'd become and it drove him insane. You bat your eyelashes at him once with those pretty eyes and he's at your feet doing whatever you asked.
He once caught you rubbing body oil over your stomach, claiming it would prevent stretch marks. Though any and all words fell on deaf ears, he was completely enamoured with the sight before him. You, fresh off the shower, slight damp hair, a comfy nightgown, an arm holding your tits out of the way while the other ran along your skin.
âLet me do it,â The words were out before he could even think about it. Not that he disagreed with the horny bits of his brain, this was a great idea through and through.
You scoffed and then realised he meant it. âOh? OkayâŠâ
Seungkwan stood behind you, chest flush to you semi-bare back, his strong arms wrapped around your waist, slender fingers running along your skin. God, the slightest brush of his fingertips sent shivers down your spine.
You squirmed every time his hands wandered just far down enough to graze the bunched up fabric of your beige panties â Not your sexiest pair, you admitted and wished youâd put on something cuter.
His hands, his gorgeous hands, kneaded onto the abundant flesh of your belly, easily gliding all over but never where you need it the most. Itâs only when you feel him poke at your back, that you realise this has affected him just as much.
With a mischievous smile, you shake your hips, hearing a quiet growl erupt from his chest.
âStopâ I wonât be able to control myselfââ
âYou donât need to put it inââ Your voice is a sirenâs call, dripping in lust with your tempting offers, he feels as if he might drown in your sweet essence, though it would be a lovely way to go.
âFuckâ Youâll drive me crazy, yâknow.â He grumbles but you hear him fight with his trousers and boxers.
With a couple of pumps over his length, Seungkwan holds your hips still. Feeding his dick inch by inch through your legs, your heavenly warmth surrounds every inch of his skin, sending his heartbeat into a lust-filled frenzy.
Your panties offer an unfamiliar texture, but your thighs, oh, your thighs; hot and juicy, they clamp around his crying dick and he feels your lovely skin all over his length. Itâs dizzying, having his penis so close to your hole after so long.
Oh, how he wishes to take you apart around him and watch you come undone again and again. Hips desperately rutting into yours, you feel the hotness of his cock practically burning your skin in red hot lust. You drip and melt into his body, losing where he ends and you begin, you are a simple puzzle and he's the one piece you need to feel complete. Letting your own desire overcome every sense, you soak through the fabric of your panties, enough for him to feel it.
âFuckââ Seungkwan groans, hiding his reddened face on the crook of your neck, letting his hot breath tickle your skin. âYouâre soâ so wet, baby.â
You nod mindlessly, hands holding onto his arms for some stability. Those beautiful slender fingers of his caress your body all over, kneading the abundant flesh of your breasts, dipping into the plunge of your nightgown to find your eager nipples and you throw your head back, presenting yourself to his enjoyment. His tongue runs across the dip of your neck with a trail of searing kisses, nibbles and hickies.
âWhoâs got you like this, huh?â His sinful whispers dissipate amongst the curves of your neck, raising goosebumps along its path.
âYou.â
âSay my name, princess.â
âYou. Seungkwan, you doââ
The way his name rolls off your tongue so naturally stirs in him something primal, every breathy syllable burnt into his brain. His name belonged to you and you only. For you to chant over and over, to call his name in a breathless prayer.
Youâre clenching around nothing, arched onto his body, relying on his grip for support. His movements are broken and shaky, timed by quiet hisses and groans. You can feel his length, hot and throbbing and you've never craved him as badly. Desire honey thick, it drips through your body, leaving a hazy trail in your mind, clouding any coherent thought, leaving you pliant against his body.
The tip of his cock rubs against your clothed clit and you moan out his name, your legs have suddenly given under the abrupt wave of pleasure that bleeds through your every inch. He holds you still, hips thrusting back and forth chasing his own pleasure until he finds it. White ropes splashing all over the floor and your thighs.
Seungkwan kisses your neck and shoulder, humming praises that clear the fog of your post-orgasmic-bliss brain. His hands caress you all over, your stomach, your arms. He tells you youâre beautiful, amazing, incredible and all the adjectives he can mutter.
He worships you as his own, honeyed words melting into the cracks of your heart.
âYouâre lucky Iâm so tired,â You huff out, leaning against him, relishing in the way it feels to be held.
He lets out a soft laugh, âWhy is that?â
âIf I werenât dead tired, I would suck you dry and leave your balls emptier than theyâve ever been.â
You feel him harden between your legs. âShit.â
Itâs your turn to laugh.
Far from you hitting him with a classic âWhat are we?â, especially since you were the one to reject his rushed marriage proposal in the first place. But the way he looks at you with so much love is driving you insane.
And⊠You crave him.
Like nothing before.
His very presence enchants you beyond salvation, youâre enticed by his every move, his voice and even the scent that lingers after he leaves.
You went shopping for a dress over the weekend, realising everything you had no longer fits right and Seokminâs sister's wedding was just around the corner. Seungkwan, of course, tagged along, flashing his black card at every chance possible.
Every dress you tried on, he looked at you with such a hunger in his eyes, your panties were ruined from the very beginning.
Leaving the store with your purchase, you passed by a baby store and of course, you had to go in. The worker confused you for a married couple and Seungkwan didnât deny it, he just kept inquiring about the different prams, very adamant about the safety of your daughter; Something that had turned into quite the turn on.
Squeezing into a dress and heels and doing heavy makeup on a Saturday hadnât been in your schedule for years. But the event of a wedding had you rushing to get ready in time. You were very visibly pregnant by now, despite it not being that long since youâd started really showing. Part of you dreads meeting all the familiar faces and having to hear all of their gossip while the other just wants to get it all over with.
Seungkwan had elected to get ready at your place â He was practically glued to your side all the time. You couldnât even say he wouldnât accompany you to the bathroom because he almost certainly had.
He, of course, flaunts his mile-long line of luxury fitted suits to be chosen from, standing at the mirror for ages just to pick out a colour to truly highlight his complexion. Meanwhile, youâve been ready for at least half an hour.
âI like the black,â You suggest.
âItâs too obvious,â He whines.
âHow about beige?â
He ponders with a low hum.
âItâs classy!â You add.
âYou convinced me,â He smiles, making work of removing his bathrobe.
The navy microfiber slips off his smooth skin all too easy, revealing his enticingly gorgeous figure â He always had an elegant aura, with slender limbs and and air about him that just craved success. But way past the puberty woes and knocking on the door of his early 30s, Seungkwan had filled up into a tempting heartthrob.
His biceps were much bigger and well-defined, even under your dim bedroom lighting and his chest, good heavens. His pecs pushed against every article of clothing that dared cover them, making their existence hard to ignore.
A sigh leaves your painted lips.
Seungkwanâs eyes meet yours through the mirrorâs reflection, watching you sitting at the edge of your unmade bed. His gaze is dark and defiant, a prideful smirk clings to his pretty lips under the awareness of your drooling.
You canât say watching his slowly button up the tightest dress shirt was doing very good for your crazy hormones. His damp hair draping over his forehead, down to his sharp eyebrows and long eyelashes. The sight of his gorgeous hands deftly making work of the buttons is just hypnotic.
The both of you had yet to have sex â the penetrative kind. Every other type had been used and abused and yet, you still craved for much more. And he couldnât claim to be blissfully unaware of your lustful spell, either. Oh, how he loved to tease you at every waking chance he had.
While youâre very aware of the effect he has on your body, fanning your sizzling face with your hands, Seungkwan picks up the matching trousers, slipping them past his long legs and above the roundness of his boxer-clad ass, you can clearly see it bounce when he does a little jump to help the fitting of his slacks.
Alluring fingers playing with the zipper and buttons, he lets his eyes travel to meet your figure once again.
Your eyes are arrayed in fervent desire, the type that simmers under low heat, quietly bubbling and changing form, caramelising under constant showers of passion, tasting sweeter by the minute. Oh, how he adored you.
âYou ready?â
You snap out of it, jumping in your seat with a quiet âMhm?â Seungkwan offers you a toothy grin, âAre you ready?â He asks once again, reaching for the blazer that would finish his masterpiece.
Nodding, you push yourself off the bed. âYeah, just need my shoes and Iâm ready.â
Though Seungkwan protested your choice of footwear, claiming they were far too dangerous, you still went ahead and wore your chunky kitten heels, they just made your legs look too good not to wear.
Seungkwan had even rented a car for the whole ordeal; a flashy sports car with a sleek design and too-sharp edges. But he was living for the whole ordeal of dressing up for an event.
While you quietly watch him drive, there's something on the back of your mind. You hadn't discussed your relationship, ever. Usually, â before the baby, that is â, you would keep to yourself when in public, however, you are unsure if your unspoken agreement still stands. The two of you rarely ever arrived at events together, hell, there's plenty you've done together in the past month that you'd only dreamed of before.
And while you're nibbling on your manicured nails, Seungkwan sees the situation quite a lot clearer than you do. When he pulls into the parking lot for the fancy event hall, he exits the car in a haste and he's at your feet just before you manage to open your own door.
You give him a surprised smile, placing your hand in his and accepting his help to exit the car.
However, he doesn't let go once you're out of the vehicle and are finished smoothing your dress, his hand still holds yours while he hands the key to the valet.
Biting at your lip, you can't help the giddy butterflies that make themselves at home in your stomach.
You are both greeted by the bride and groom's family, putting on a nice smile and giving them all the compliments in the world.
It wasn't uncommon for Seungkwan to turn heads, he loved that aspect of his live in the spotlight, that doesn't mean you had as easy of a time seeing every single guest pay attention to you, letting their whispers fill the place.
Noticing your nervousness, Seungkwan gives your hand a light squeeze.
Before either of you can say anything, you're interrupted by the world's brightest smiler. The bride's very proud little brother is approaching you.
"Oh, you guys! I'm so excited you made it!"
"Don't you clean up nice, mister?!" You tease him, and he smooths down the jacket of his suit with a smile.
"You guys look great as well!" His eyes trail down to where your hands are joined but he doesn't say anything. "Have you already taken your pictures with Sohee?"
"We just got here," Seungkwan explains.
"Well, let's go, then."
He doesn't leave any room to protest, guiding the both of you through the hall and down into the waiting room. Seungkwan is surprisingly not as nervous as you expected him to be, which is somehow, more worrying.
First thing you're met with is the horde of bridesmaids with champagne flutes and loud cackling as they gossip about the guests. With Seokmin's presence, you easily dodge their gaggle.
Sohee is sitting on the wide sofa, surrounded by beautiful flowers as she takes pictures with a group of people.
"Her dress looks insanely expensive," you quietly comment, to which Seungkwan hums in agreement.
When the people leave, Seokmin talks to the photographer for a second.
"Sir, you sit to her left and you to her right, please," The photographer announces.
You move to sit on the couch, though Seungkwan never lets go of your hand, assisting you until you're sat. Only, does he move to his designated spot.
"You look beautiful, Sohee" You tell the bride briefly, but she doesn't quite pay attention. Her eyes are scanning Seungkwan's figure.
"Look here, please," The photographer raises their hand and Sohee finally faces the camera.
The photograph is taken in a flash.
Barely managing to motion standing up, you're immediately helped by Seungkwan's unfairly soft hands.
"Are you in town for long?" Sohee asks suddenly, sending both of your's attention her way.
You look at Seungkwan, waiting for his reply.
He nods, "Yeah."
Looking like she expects more, Sohee just licks her lips and nods, "Do you thinkâ"
She's interrupted by the large group of middle-aged ladies that pour into the room with their proud smiles and compliments. Seokmin immediately greets them, gesturing for them to sit by the gorgeous bride-to-be.
"Thanks for the invite," You bid your goodbyes, leaving the waiting room.
You and Seungkwan gossip about the place and the seemingly large budget while you wait for the ceremony to begin.
The ceremony is just as any other wedding you've ever attended; only a thousand times more extravagant. Not that you expected anything but. It's beautiful, the bride and groom seem to have practiced the whole thing way too many times.
Everyone stands up to watch the bride throw the bouquet, you wonder who did she pick to receive it.
As you clap your hands, tip-toeing to watch just who is going to be Sohee's successor in the marriage market, you don't notice the flying bundle of flowers coming directly toward your face.
You're lucky Seungkwan still has his reflexes, he expertly catches the bouquet before you can even acknowledge its very presence.
His pretty eyes widen in panic, looking at the very pretty flowers in his hand.
It doesn't take him too long to come to his senses and kindly pass the bouquet off to Sohee's chosen friend.
You laugh at the situation.
"Congrats," You tease, "I guess you're getting married first," nudging his shoulder, you watch him roll his eyes.
"I'm not marrying anyone in the next six months unless you're up for it."
It's such a silly, passing comment. He doesn't even pay attention to what he says, but you feel your stubborn stomach butterflies jump circles in the lining of your oesophagus.
The post-ceremony lunch is amazing and you, of course, abstain from any celebratory drinks. Seungkwan drinks double in your honour, despite your objections. At some point in the festiveness, your old classmates find you and you enjoy the nostalgic banter. Although you were questioned about your very visible pregnancy, it went much better than any of your expectations. And it seems most linked Seungkwan's sudden hovering and overprotection to his contribution to your current state.
"My feet are killing me," You groan, settling into a bench.
"I told you not to wear heels," Seungkwan says.
You roll your eyes, "I know⊠But they make my legs look great."
Seokmin laughs, "It's fine, half of the bridesmaids are barefoot by now."
"You make a great point," You point at Seokmin, toeing off your heels. "I wish I had brought some backups, thoughâŠ"
"That's why I brought you some flats, they're in the car," Seungkwan has this proud puppy smile, knowing he did something amazing and awaiting the praise.
You groan in happiness, "I could seriously get up and kiss you, but my feet are killing me," You confess.
Seungkwan laughs, "I'll get them, don't move."
"No problem, I'll ask someone in the staff to bring it to you," Seokmin waves it off.
"Oh, please, it's just a pair of shoes. "Exactly," He responds, leaving to wave at a staff member.
Watching you fidget, Seungkwan sees you're shoving your feet back into your heels.
"Why are you putting your shoes back on?"
"I need to pee, I think."
"You think?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Oh, I'm sorry it's hard to know exactly how full my bladder is when your daughter is constantly kicking it."
"She's a good girl."
You huff, "I'm going to pee," You announce, raising your hand when he motions to stand up," Don't follow me to the bathroom, it's weird."
Seungkwan wants to protest, but you shoot him a pointed glare.
It takes maybe thirty seconds of him being unattended for Sohee to spot from the other side of the hall, she gathers the many layers of her dress and walks up to him, sporting a bright smile.
"Seungkwan! So good to see you!"
He nods, "Thanks for the invite and congratulations." It's a sincere wish.
"Well, I just had to invite my biggest admirer, hadn't I?" She jokes, lightly tapping at his shoulder, Seungkwan just sort of shrugs. Licking her lips awkwardly, Sohee continues, " You know⊠I remember when you were younger, you were just crazy about me!" She laughs.
Wishing you'd hurry up, he flashes her a hesitant smile.
He didn't want anything to do with Sohee, not now, not ever.
It was the type of realisation he thought would hurt. He spent so long reaching for the unattainable, trying to patch up wounds from the past with cold revenge that at some point those wounds started to quietly heal.
He was more than content with his career, he accomplished so much in his short years on TV using only his overflowing charisma â and despite any past scandals, had talks of producing and presenting other shows. Seungkwan was loved by the public, adored by brands and welcomed with open arms just about anywhere. He had proven to himself and everyoned that ever dared doubt his star potential that he was just that; a star, destined to be admired.
But most importantly, he had his mind filled with wonder over how the future would turn out.
Every night, as he laid by your side and watched you drift off to sleep, Seungkwan would caress your stomach and imagine what his daughter will look like. He wondered just who she would take after in appearance and if her personality would match her lookalike. He also worried if he was fit to be a parent at all.
And then you would stir in your sleep, and he would feel those tiny but very powerful kicks, then everything feels alright. He's right where he belongs; right by his girls.
His wholesome epiphany doesn't mean Sohee will take a fucking hint. She keeps initiating contact, flashing that fake smile of hers.
"I tried to be an actress, y'know," It's a very obvious hint at her hidden agenda, he realises, though he hasn't got half a mind to lose her. "Couldn't make it because of a bitch that sabotaged meâŠ" She scoffs, painted lips curling into a frown, "But I was good, really good! I would've made it if it weren't for what happened!"
Seungkwan nods politely, wishing he had a drink in his hand.
"You reckon I would've made it?"
"Mhm?"
"As an actress, you think I would make it big?" She smiles expectedly.
"Sure," He shrugs and it's clearly not enough.
"Oh, please. You can be honest!" She nudges at his shoulders, her hands lingering far too long, rubbing across his chest.
He licks at his lips, openly uncomfortable. "We can't know for sure."
"I mean, look at me! I've got a face for drama, " She poses, "I'm unforgettable, y'know. Well, I'm sure you know," Sohee laughs, "you're probably still hung up on me!" she bites at her lip, looking him up and down.
That strikes a bit of a nerve.
"Noâ Iâ"
"It's fine! I know⊠AndâŠ" She takes a step closer, "I'm not opposed to it," Her manicured finger draws circles on his chest, "I'm open if you wanna play," She winks.
Seungkwan takes a step back.
"I just think⊠it takes more than an average face to make it into the industry⊠And into my bed."
Oh, how furious she is.
It's such a sudden shift in her mood, he almost flinches. Can't say it wasn't satisfying as hell getting to say that after so many years.
"What?! Average?! Average?! Oh, fuck you! Just because I rejected you in high school, doesn't mean you should hold a grudge!"
Seungkwan looks around at the people that suddenly are very interested in their conversation.
"I'll tell you what, I don't need your opinion! Every day, I get stopped by men dying to get with me and you know whatâ"
It seems you heard his silent but very desperate prayers, appearing just when he needed you the most.
"What's up?" You ask, quite confused.
"What is up, is that this cunt holds a grudge because I rejected him in high school," Sohee crosses her arms childishly.
"That's notâ" Seungkwan tries to explain it to you, but you know Sohee well enough to predict her temper.
"Come on, it's your wedding day, why do you care what he thinks, just relax," You argument, hoping it's enough to convince her.
"You're right, it is my wedding day and I deserve an apology."
"A what now?"
"An apology, I deserve one or you're kicked out."
"Oh, fuck off!" You yell, turning on your heels and dragging Seungkwan with you.
You hope you're far away enough she won't give chase. Or security, maybe.
Too bad for you she immediately signals for security and you hurry your step.
Bumping into Seokmin on the way, you steal your flats from his hands.
"You guys, what's the hurry?" He laughs.
"Thank you, Seokmin, great party!" You yell, shrugging off your heels and toeing into the flats as fast as you can.
Still confused, he pries in further, "What? Are you leaving?"
"Yeah, long story, your sister kicked us out."
"What?!"
Seungkwan crouches to pick up your discarded shoes, "Great party, though."
"Yeah, I loved seeing you and the kids, we need to schedule a reunion sometime," You add.
"Are you done?" Seungkwan asks.
"Yeah," You nod.
"Let's go," He grabs your hand.
"Bye, Seokmin!"
"Bye-bye," You parrot.
And the two of you bolt down the hall toward the parking lot.
You're laughing your heads off by the time the valet brings around the rental, recalling just how crazy the past five minutes have been.
Seungkwan opens the door for you after leaving the valet a very generous tip.
"What did she want?" Your curiosity gets the best of you.
"Oh, fucking hell," He rolls his eyes, pulling out of the event hall. "You won't believe it."
"What?" You're already laughing at the idea.
"She kept hitting on me."
"What?" No longer laughing, you adjust yourself in your seat, "And what did tell her?"
"I said she needs more than an average face to make it into my bed."
You laugh awkwardly, not sure how to reply.
"Does that mean you're finally over her⊠Or⊠Do you still like Sohee?"
"Are you kidding me?!" He laughs at the absurdity of your suggestion. "I mean, I guess I knew it in my heart ages ago, but I sort of realised it today⊠I got over her a long time ago."
"You mean it?"
"Oh, getting kicked out of her wedding didn't prove it?"
You smile, "I guess it does prove you don't want to fuck her."
"You couldn't pay me to!"
Barely containing your foolish smile, you play with the hem of your dress.
"Besides," Seungkwan opens a mischievous smile, "I've got my eyes on the world's hottest MILF,"
You groan, hitting at his shoulder between your fits of laughter, "Stop it!"
Arriving at your place, you couldn't wait to finally get out of your party outfit and into your comfy pajamas. Toeing off your shoes halfway through your hallway, you pit-patter into your dimly lit bedroom with Seungkwan as your shadow.
"Can you help me?" Your plea is sleepy and sweet, carrying him to you before he can even process your words.
You're standing barefoot, dress clinging onto your shoulder, zipper halfway down. Seungkwan reaches for it, feeling the sudden spark of your bare skin grazing along his fingers. Once the zipper is all the way down, you sigh in relief and shrug the dress off. He feels like a puberty stricken teenager, being overcome with lust with a simple glance of your hyptonitisng body.
Looking back, you watch him stare at you, completely frozen.
"What?"
He doesn't respond.
"Do you want help, too?" You lean forward with a tease.
Fingers wrapping around his expensive tie, you pull him just close enough until his breath caresses your lips. Watching through half-lidded eyes, you glance at his pouty lips, overcome with the urge to take them.
Reading your mind, Seungkwan cups your burning hot cheeks, crashing his lips against yours in a desperate kiss.
It's disgustingly messy with clashing teeth and breathless moans devoured alive with insatiable hunger. You're melting into his arms, clumsy synchronised steps toward the bed, almost tripping on your discarded dress.
Your fall into the bed isn't enough to part your frantic kiss, you wrap your arms around him, pulling him impossibly close, feeling the fabric of his suit grazing against your naked body, every wrinkle and fold a torturous experience.
Seungkwan shrugs off his blazer, throwing it somewhere in the room. He pulls at his tie with one arm and had your eyes been open, they'd be glued to the throbbing veins that decorate his skin.
"Keepâ" You breathe out, "Keep it onâ"
His smile is almost devilish. "Fuck me, aren't you naughty?"
You nod thoughtlessly, "I'm fuckin' crazy about you in that suitâŠ" "Yeah?" Egging you on, he can barely contain his own lust at your words. The mere thought that you had been containing yourself all day, that he drove you just as crazy.
"Mmh," You kiss him, "I was thinking about you all day,"
"Fuck."
His hands are on your body, grabbing, kneading at your burning skin, touching every inch he pour his greedy touch on. Although he wants to kiss and your worship you, he dreads the thought of leaving your lips. Oh, such a tough choice.
Expertly, he undoes your bra, giving into your relief and lust at once. His hands find your breasts, massaging, flicking at your sensitive nipples.
Every single one of your quiet moans are muffled with his eager kisses.
You're pulling him closer and closer, toying with his dress shirt, pulling at each button. Torturously slow, you undo every button, feeling every inch of his bare skin on yours.
Pretty fingers grazing along the bulge that strains his slacks, you bat your eyelashes with a pout and he near melts. A mischievous smile plays at your lips as you blindly navigate his belt and zipper, finding your way into his pants.
He pulsates in your hands, hot and heavy and burning in desire.
You run a single finger along his length and it's enough to have him stuttering.
"I need to be in you, babyâ"
You're drunk with lust at this point, the very thought of having him inside you is clouding your judgement beyond recognition. You can only nod fervoursly, parting your legs to receive him.
He leans back on his heels, staring at you, glossy eyes and parted lips, practically begging for him. He takes a long, hard stare at your round figure, the size of your stomach, the very thought that it was his seed that made you like this driving him insane with the primal sense of possession.
"You drive me crazy, y'know," He whispers against your kiss-swollen lips and you feel every vibration of his lust ridden whisper.
Maybe it's the atmosphere or the abstinence that's making you drunk on him. But you feel every inch of his body, every single touch of his feels a thousand times. His body burns against yours, fastened hearts irregularly dancing around each other's beats.
Having him inside you after so long feels like nothing ever before. You're getting split on his cock, mouth in a constant 'O'. He can feel every agonising inch of your wall clinging and squeezing around him.
Seungkwan holds himself back, willing his mind to think completely natural thoughts lest he come too fast. You're so warm, wrapping tightly around his length, pulsating and eager. What could a man do besides keep you filled up?
He drinks your every broken moan, every ragged breath resembling his name, relishing in the effect he has on you.
With sluggish thrusts, Seungkwan finally moves. Bottoming out feels heavenly, you can barely think. How you're split open deliciously on his length, you feel him throb inside you, dragging out of your walls before slamming back in.
"Fuckâ You're choking me, babyâ" You hum, not really focusing on anything other than the way he feels.
Fastening his pace, he is entranced with how your body looks under him.
Your eyes are tightly closed, limbs tangled around. Your entire body is jiggling with every thrust of his, following his every move. Fuck. He buries his head in the dip of your neck, biting at your skin to quiet himself, hot breath tickling your sensitive skin.
He has to will himself into a slower tempo lest he finish too fast, no, he wishes to drag this out impossibly long. To savour every millisecond, burn it in his brain until he can see and think of nothing but the way you come apart under him, the way you melt and fit around his body.
Your entire body sizzles with unadulterated lust.
"I'mâ I'm close," You warn.
He hums, interrupted by a groan.
"Cum for me, princess, come onâ"
You nod, voice crescendo into a string of disconnected words, chanting his name over and over. The sight of your pretty face overtaken by pleasure is enough to send him into his own climax, spilling into you with a final thrust.
Careful not to crush you, Seungkwan collapses to your side, reaching for your hand to intertwine your fingers together. He brings your hand to his lips, placing a loving kiss.
You snuggle into his chest.
"Can't believe I just fucked a MILF."
You laugh in desbelief.
"What the fuck!"
Moving had always proven to be a sisyphean task, it was no different when moving in with the father of your baby with whom you had an unlabeled very complicated relationship. At least he was more than willing to actually pay for a moving company as opposed to enticing your closest friends with beer and pizza.
And you very close to a good day until you grabbed an unassuming bag, only to discover a huge gash that extended to some of the clothing inside. After a justified breakdown, you sighed and surrendered to fate.
âDo you have a sewing kit?â You ask Seungkwan, looking at the large hole in your favourite sweater.
âIn my nightstand,â Seungkwan replies mindlessly, eyes glued onto the TV. While he did help with the moving, the harmless idea of turning on the game had suddenly resulted in him holding open boxes while standing in the middle of the hallway, very entranced by the game.
You make your way through the mess of discarded boxes and enter his bedroom, being welcomed by the ever enticing scent of his cologne.
Itâs only a minute or two after, that Seungkwan realises the predicament heâs in and stumbles his way into the bedroom, tripping over every single item on the floor.
He does realise it took him too long.
"What's all this?" You furrow your brows, looking at the very large array of velvet boxes in his nightstand.
"Nothing," Seungkwan hurries, closing the drawer way too fast. It comes out less as something he's embarrassed of and more that you should keep out of his business, not what he meant, of course.
"Right, sorry," You clear your throat, turning away without ever meeting his eyes.
It's enough to make him realise how his actions were received. "It's⊠Nothing, really, I mean it."
"Yeah, of course," You shrug, forcing a smile.
He sighs, "I mean it, look," reaching to pull the drawer open, Seungkwan gestures to the items inside.
In the drawer are a few velvet boxes tucked away and a tiny box with a loose ring and a necklace.
"It's fine!" You insist, "I shouldn't pry into something private."
"It's not private."
"Of course it is, I'm sure you keep your exes' stuff for sentimental reasons."
Seungkwan furrows his brow, staring at you, "They're not from my exes."
"You don't have to lie."
"I mean it."
"Seungkwanâ"
"I mean it!" He kneels in front of you, reaching into the drawer.
"This one, I got you when we started pretending in uni⊠I felt like I needed to get you something⊠Both to prove that we were together and as a thanks," He places the shiny pendant in your hand. "This one is from when⊠we started sleeping together⊠I thought I should get you a ring for y'know," He shrugs, placing a single ring next to the pendant in your palm.
Seungkwan reaches into the drawer, picking up the first velvet box, "This one I bought for your birthday after I came to Seoul but I never got around to giving it to you." It's a very delicate necklace and it looks a little more expensive than the others. "And then the same year, when I started seeing someone else and didn't even tell you, I thought I should get you something as an apology and⊠a parting gift."
In the fancier box is a pair of stud earrings with tiny pearl drops.
"And then we kept seeing each other⊠and years passed and I realised I liked you⊠I wanted to make it official but⊠I was terrified," He confesses, "I was terrified of the commitment, I was terrified of what would happen if it didn't work out⊠But I got us matching rings, that never saw the light of day, of course," He laughs, the type of laugh that hides truer feelings.
The third box contained the matching couple rings.
You're speechless.
"And finally⊠when you came into my apartment⊠you got me out of my terrible, sorry state, you stayed by my side⊠Always did, but⊠Anywayâ IâYou said you loved me," He stares into your eyes and you are filled with so much emotion, he is sincere, you can feel it. "And I realised I loved you, too."
From the way your legs turn into jelly at the very sound of those words, you are so thankful for being sat.
"So I bought these rings and I scheduled a meeting with my company to talk about my future wedding. That's when my old PR manager went batshit on how it would ruin my career and decided to fuck me over⊠And it took me months to fix everything and make sure that we wouldn't have any problems," He raises his head to look at you, "So I came to visit and you were pregnant and I was. So. HappyâŠ" His voice trails off. "I never wanted to marry you faster than right then and there. But then, you know what happened."
"Are you⊠fucking serious?"
His big brown eyes that more often than not prove themselves to be the bane of your existence glance away from your face.
Seungkwan readies himself for the incoming flurry of teasing that should come.
But it doesn't.
And then he raises his head, only to see that your face has contorted into a very ugly frown as you try to will your tears back into your eyes.
"What?" His face softens immediately and he's on you the very next second, reaching for your hands.
"I can't believe it," You hiccup.
"What's wrong?"
You can barely formulate coherent sentences with the turmoil that clouds your brain.
Seungkwan liked you.
For much longer than you could even fathom, he cherished you and the whole time you just thought he maybe tolerated your presence for the sake of getting into your pants. And all those years of suppressing your stupid feelings had culminated in this: a drawer full of unopened jewelry and erased love.
You can't help the very self-deprecating thoughts that tell you: you should've been braver.
"Baby, what's wrong?" His voice is soft and loving and stupid.
"Don't call me baby!" You wail, throwing your arms around his neck in a very confusing turn of events.
He does comfort you with light taps to your back.
"All this time," You hiccup, "I liked you and you liked me back and I kept hiding it because I was stupid! I'm sorry I said I didn't want to marry you."
"No, you⊠You were right to protect yourself," he shushes your cries. "I never proved myself to be someone very⊠Relationship worthy."
"No!" You shake your head, "I should've just⊠told you."
"Look⊠I was a dumb kid⊠I was terrified of being real with my feelings once I realised I liked you⊠And the longer I waited, the harder it got."
You nod.
"When you said "I love you"⊠It just felt like everything was coming together, y'know?"
"I do! I do love you!"
He smiles, hands reaching to cup your face.
"I wanted to marry you, I wanted to marry you so bad! But I was scared! I was scared you were only marrying me because I got pregnant!"
Seungkwan reaches to wipe your tears away.
"I thought if we got married for the baby, you'd grow to resent us bothâŠ"
"I could never resent you⊠Or our daughter."
"Oh, please, how was I supposed to know?!"
He laughs, "I should've told you I loved you. I should've told you I loved you and I wanted to marry you out of love."
"Tell me you love me again," You plea.
"I love you."
You can barely contain the stupid smile that tugs at the corners of your lips.
"I love you so much, Kwannie. I have loved you for so longâŠ"
Seungkwan adjusts himself, pushing you back into a sitting position. He returns to his kneeling position on the floor and clears his throat.
"Marry me?"
Your dumbfounded stare goes for a bit longer than you wished for, enough to make him nervous another rejection was coming. But you break out into the world's most beautiful smile while you happily shout.
"Yes!"
"Oh, thank God."
Maybe it took a bit longer than most for you to find each other. But in the end, you had your future husband, your perfect baby and soon a dreamy home.
Seungkwan would announce his nuptials and upcoming paternity and receive a lot of love from the public. Many saw it as a show of maturity and trustworthiness, which did end up helping his career. Speaking of, he did go on a very long break as soon as you entered your third trimester, present at every waking moment. Except for when he almost passed out when you went into labour.
Parenthood hadn't been quite a challenge, not when you had each other. Your daughter was the sweetest, quietest little baby and such a cuddlebug. She always greeted her mummy and daddy with that toothless grin and sweet giggles, which made it very hard to think of stopping at just one kid.
You would return to teaching, balancing your family and work life and Seungkwan would come back to the spotlight. You two settled into the routine easily, picking up where the other needed.
Although life was different from as it was when you were younger, it wouldn't be hard to make do when you had each other. The future never looked as bright.
Since the very beginning, it had always been you and him against the world.
And until the very end, so it will be.


















