First, thank you so much for transcribing the whole route! That was amazing and I'll love you forever! Second though, you mention that you fixed a lot of "continuity errors"? What do you mean by that and like, what were they? Just curious.
So, I already described it a littleā¦ Iām not sure continuity errors was really the right phrase. But Iād be more than happy to kind of flesh out some of my thoughts, just things that kind of jarred me out of the experience at times, on the route that inspired a lot of the tiny changes that I did make. These are just the ones I can think of right off the top of my head:
1. This is the biggest one so Iām going to mention it first. Quite frankly the MCās persistence on trying to convince Nicky heās just a character in a movie gets a little annoying. There are quite a few moments where weāre having a pleasant time with Nicky and then suddenly bring up that this whole thing is a dream, itās not real, heās just a character, and whatever. Maybe that would be fine, but I know that if I got to spend any amount of time LITERALLY INSIDE an awesome movie with a hot guy who seems set on wooing me I wouldnāt be constantly telling him that heās not real or that Iām from another dimension. Mostly because I want a more authentic experience, but also becauseā¦ likeā¦ I donāt want all these people looking at me like:
I ESPECIALLY have an issue with this in the scene you have to pay for when we get off the yacht on the docks. He takes us to a nice restaurant so he can bare his soul and the most painful experience of his life and we are BARELY stopped from hopping on a soapbox about howĀ āFrench Fried Potatoesā are actually calledĀ āFrench Friesā and everyone knows what they are you doof because weāre from the future so there. Luckily he interrupts us to tell us about his sisterās death, but at that point I was likeĀ āare we serious right now? Is this really the hill we want to die on when we KNOW that he wants to talk to us about his precious little sister? Oh we better not go into the āyouāre not real, this is just a movieā routine again.āĀ
2. Nicky & Ralph are super panicked about the concept of the cops at the pier but when we pull up to the Speakeasy (arguably a FAR worse place for cops to meet Nicky at), both Nicky and Ralph are like,Ā āYeah sure, no worries, they aināt got nothinā.ā That seemed a little oddly inconsistent, but maybe that will make more sense later? Not sure how but whatevsā.Ā
3. I had two issues with the yacht scene. The first one was what I already described, he ends the scene previous by asking us if weād ever sailed before (which was totally fine, a great way to transition to the new scene) and then he asks us the same question while weāre actually sailing as if we didnāt answer him originally. I just couldnāt picture any scenario in which we wouldnāt have answered that question the first time. The second one was right after the transition to the yacht scene. The background implies that weāre on the yacht, the description of it implies weāre on the yacht, and then a good few minutes into the dialogue we find out that weāre actually walking on the beach toward the yacht and havenāt boarded yet. Not really a huge issue, just a bit jarring after being basically led to believe we were already there.
4. When weāre at Nickyās mansion: We go all the way around to the front of the house to go back inside after being right next to the french doors on the patio that would have also led us inside. Thereās no butler or anything to greet us (didnāt add that in in the version you guys have, and itās not a big thing, but it is a thing). Somehow we smell bacon cooking in our room, and the smell is strong enough to wake us up, despite the fact that itās unlikely weād be able to smell any part of breakfast in a house that big unless it was literally outside our door. Somehow we also know that the petal trail is going to lead to the french doors, but itās still a āmysteryā and weāre still surprised when we follow it to find that it does, in fact, lead to the french doors. He is wealthy enough to have a full staff and a mansion and a yacht but we have to grab our own plate at breakfast even though we could just ask one of his many staff to fix one for us.
Soooo yeah. No shade to the writers- I still love the story & love the writing. But as a writer myself and an editor focused on readability those were just some of the most noticeable things that kind of broke up the experience for me. There are more but, Iād have to look at my transcript again. To be fair, they are FAR more noticeable in long-form. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
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