тоска.

𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑦͟𝑜͟𝑢͟𝑟͟ 𝑓͟𝑜͟𝑙͟𝑘͟𝑠͟ 𝑤͟𝑖͟𝑙͟𝑙͟ 𝑠͟𝑡͟𝑖͟𝑙͟𝑙͟ 𝑓͟𝑖͟𝑔͟ℎ͟𝑡͟.

[benedkt]

#BENEDKT   :   a   private   &   selective   writing   blog   featuring   BENEDIKT MONTAGOV,   a canon   character   from   chloe   gong’s   these   violent   delights   &   this   foul   murder,   as   babbled   by   kenny,   he / they,   24,   est.   march   2022,   also   found   at   SWIRLINGS.

AFFILIATED WITH    :   @marsheo, @dorogava, more tba.

GUIDELINES & DNI :

001. MESSAGING : please don't spam me, i will respond when i am able to. feel free to bump our conversation if it has been longer than 2 weeks, though.

002. AGE : 20+ ONLY PLEASE. i do not partake in nsfw of the sexual nature on dash, but i prefer to interact with admins closer to my age.003. BASIC RP ETIQUETTE APPLIES HERE : all reblogs are to be done from the source, don't godmod me, and i do not usually practice reblog karma.

004. DNI criteria : you are not welcome here if you are racist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, if you ship incest in any form, if you utilize the krp/jrp tag, if you write as real people, or anything of this nature. also dni if you fetishize lgbtqia+ ships, or people of color, thank you.

005. SHIPPING : my ben is exclusively shipped to my best friend's mars, and i wholeheartedly believe that mars is ben's first and last love, as implied in the novels. that being said, i will not be exploring any other romantic dynamics with my ben; however, i am open to most other non-romantic dynamics!

006. CREDITS : psd. sawbonesources. heart png. coloursource.

[gencva]

EVAN RODERICK as Justin in SPINNING OUT (2019)

[dailyflicks]

⸺ Kat Baker & Justin Davis SPINNING OUT | (2020)

[benedkt]

[ 𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑺𝑬𝑶. ]

the flick that met his nose instantly caused a grimace from the raven-haired man.   pout evident upon mars’ visage,   wrinkles formed at the crevices of his nose as he let out a faux whimper.               ❝   how could you ?   my precious nose.   i worry you ! ?   you just thumped me on the nose and expect to get away with it ? !   you might as well just get away with murder,   why don’t you !     ❞               a huff escaped marshall,   rolling on his back and no longer facing benedikt.   of course, he wasn’t actually mad,   but he had to be dramatic.   it wasn’t like him to be still,   or to be calm.   theatrics were his thing,   like it or not. 

 the tracing of his scar evokes a bodily reaction out of mars.   the tingles prickle at his nerves and skin,   a ripple being sent down his spine and down his frame.               ❝     what are you doing to my voodoo doll ?     ❞               a false accusation in a hushed tone,   not as though benedikt was grasping turn in a scold by mars,   but as if mars had succumbed to the tender moment they shared.   gradually,   dark optics settled back onto the latter;   searching for those deep cerulean eyes.   benedikt was warm like the sun,   had eyes of the sea and hair like the sand.   but he was the embodiment of the moon.   either way, they eclipsed one another any day.

   his eyes rolled due to the theatrical behavior of the other,   the hints of a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as mars pretended to be upset with him.   he didn’t smile often,   as most of his time was spent pensive and straight-faced,   but when they were alone,   he allowed himself to be more open   –   vulnerable,   even.   a few moments of silence passed between them,   benedikt’s eyes gazing at the other with nothing but admiration.   “   mudak,   ”   the nickname rolled off his tongue with ease,   a soft laugh escaping him when marshall turned his frame away from him   –   his hand stilling when mars spoke again.

   he leaned forward after staring for moment,   pressing a soft kiss against his lover’s shoulder.   “   what a ridiculous thing to say.   ”   he mumbled in response,   though ben wasn’t surprised in the slightest   –   marshall was almost always ridiculous.   his arm would slowly wrap around the other as he settled into him again,   cerulean eyes staring back down into deep mahogany.   he leaned in,   stopping to hover just before their lips met.   “   can i kiss you?   ”   

[benedkt]

[ 𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑺𝑬𝑶. ]

@benedkt​ ,

thimble digits grazed along the skin belonging to marshall seo not by his own accord.   optics trickled downward,    implanted onto the fingers owned by benedikt​ montagov.   a grin quickly wipes over the man’s smug expression,   leaning back as if benedikt was to admire his scars.   he wasn’t necessarily proud of his scars,   but he did learn to embrace them even if it was just slightly.             ❝   i know,    i know.   i’m so brave,   wouldnt you say ?   i got this one in a wrestle with a shark.     ❞            he beamed,   though clearly,   as per usual,   his tone laced with thick sarcasm.

   there was a momentary pause in the movement of his hand,   his eyes shifting to stare at the other for several moments.   a scoff would escape him when he playfully claimed that he’d gotten said scar by wrestling a shark of all things,   his lips pursing a moment as he brought his arm up so he could flick marshall on the tip of his nose,   as if scolding a disobedient puppy.   “   more like reckless.   ”   benedikt finally responded,   his hand returning to its original position,   but slowly trailing over to trace the scar yet again.   “   you make me worry too much.   ”   he narrowed his gaze at the other,   though there was a tenderness behind his eyes that only marshall could bring out of him.

[benedkt]

ENTRY   :   A VERY DESCRIPTIVE PROFILE OF YOUR MUSE. repost   with   the   information   of   your   muse   ,   including   headcanons   ,   etc.   if   you   fail   to   achieve   some   of   the   facts   ,   add   some   other   of   your   own   !

NAME.       benedikt montagov. AGE.       20s   ( 20 in canon ). SPECIES.       human. GENDER.       male. ORIENTATION.       homosexual. INTERESTS.       marshall seo, painting & sketching ( especially marshall ), keeping to himself, cleaning his weapons. PROFESSION.       gangster. artist. BODY TYPE.       mesomorph. tall, lean, & slightly muscular. EYES.       blue, like a tidal wave.  HAIR.       blond. SKIN.       fair. in canon, he has a scar over his left eyebrow & plenty others all over his body due to infractions with the scarlets and general recklessness; however, in modern au, he has no visible scarring.  FACE.       sharp features & stern eyes. he very rarely smiles, but he has dimples when he does. HEIGHT.       5′11″. COMPANIONS.       verse dependant, but mainly roma montagov, marshall seo, alisa montagova & the rest of the white flower gang. ANTAGONISTS.       also verse dependant, but mainly juliette cai, the rest of the cai family, the larkspur, the monsters in shanghai, the scarlet gang, etc.  COLORS.       mainly forest green, but also shades of gold, light blues, nature and forest-y tones. FRUITS.       dragonfruit, ramputans, persimmons, passionfruit, kiwi, & pineapple. DRINKS.       coffee, doesn’t matter what kind. he also likes tea, but as before, he really doesn’t care what kind. ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES   ?       gin, baijiu, vodka, white wine, the occasional beer, but it isn’t his favorite. he probably drinks more than roma.  SMOKES   ?       when he’s stressed only, he doesn’t like to keep it as a habit. DRUGS   ?       no.  DRIVERS LICENSE   ?       yes, probably. 

tagged  by.         @consigleire​

tagging.        @marsheo​ ( i know macy already tagged you, but i cannot think of anyone else to tag LMAO. ), and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it. 

[metamorphesque]

Louise Glück, “Stars”

[geminihurt]

WHUMPTOBER DAY 2 - BLOODY HANDS

[benedkt]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐎.

RELIEF WASHED OVER HIS BEING, quickly pushing himself out of the stool he’d sat in for an achingly prolonged amount of time. “ finally, you’re done. ” he groaned, removing the aforementioned paintbrush from between his lips and nose. he placed it back into benedikt’s collection of paint supplies, however his attention goes elsewhere. optics land onto a new object every second that passes by, finding something to touch. anything. it didn’t matter what it was. a hum escapes him, fiddling with the newly acquired items before he turned back to benedikt. a grin plasters his visage, another hum reverberates from the depths of his chest; as if approvingly. “ oh, tie me to a chair, will you? someone’s feeling a little FRISKY tonight. is that a threat or a promise? ” as he makes his way back to the stool, where he would soon reunite with benedikt at, he snatches the canvas from the easel. although it was snatched, he was gentle enough to make sure the painting would dry before he would look at it. have some decency.

he stares at the bag of celery being tossed away, a small pout tugs at the male’s countenance. “ that celery could have lived a long, happy life if it wasn’t for you! ” accusatory tone laced with satirical inclinations in the syllables, taking a glance down at the canvas. CUE A GASP that made his throat feels scratchy ━━━ more dramatic than he’s ever been. “ how could you! my nose is NOT that big! and for the record, my ass is way bigger than that! is this what you really think of me? ” of course, marshall ruined the sweet and tender moment they were about to share. typical… he huffed, pout from his trashed celery more evident now than ever. “ but, i guess i’ll forgive you. this time. i know how you can make it up to me, though. ” he quickly came back, smile crept in the crevices of his lips.

“ let’s play a game. ”

cerulean optics watched as marshall placed the brush back in its rightful place,   saying a silent prayer that the other had been thoughtful enough to do so.   otherwise,   he’d have to do so later.   not that he wasn’t used to it,   as marshall’s sticky fingers were often quite destructive   -   benedikt didn’t mind, though.    the blond stood there a few moments,   his mouth opening and closing a few times,   as if he didn’t quite know how to respond to marshall’s flirting despite the fact that he’d been the one that initiated it.   finally,   though he would gather himself enough to offer some form of a response.   “   a promise.   ”   his response was low,   though almost immediately the subject was changed when marshall leaned over and snatched his newest work.

benedikt turned his attention to absentmindedly reorganizing his workspace,   sorting the brushes that required cleaning into a separate pile as marshall rambled on about the celery he’d just tossed.   he was content to simply listen until he heard an audible gasp escape the other,   his gaze immediately shifting up to see what the issue was;   however,   as usual when it came to marshall,   he didn’t have to wonder for long.   “   you are the most dramatic man i have ever met in my life,   marshall seo.   ”   he accused,   pointing his index finger at the other before he began wagging it at him,   but even he couldn’t hide the amusement in his tone.   his interest was piqued when forgiveness was mentioned,   though he already had a feeling that it would require some sort of...   catch.  “   what kind of game?   ”

[benedkt]

benedikt doesn’t sleep well in lieu of silence, since marshall is always making some sort of obnoxious noises. it also doesn’t help being surrounded by sprays of gunfire & violence all the time either. in many ways, when times are chaotic, ben feels right at home.

[happy-xy]

Schitt’s Creek (S03E08)

[benedkt]

@marsheo​ - ‘ heads? or tails? ’

   the question prompted a small smirk to tug at one corner of benedikt’s mouth,   his brow quirking slightly as if he were momentarily mulling over what he may choose.   there were only two options,   so there wasn’t much to mull over,   he was mostly just taking a while to irritate mars.   he released a long winded hum before finally speaking his answer;   “   tails.   ”

[benedkt]

@marsheo​ - ‘ coming here was your idea. ’ 

   benedikt opened his mouth to reply,   but quickly snapped his lips shut once he realized he didn’t have a witty retort to throw back at marshall this time.   he instead glanced down at his shoes,   a shrug dancing across his shoulders before he stole a glance at mars.   he’d brought them up onto one of the many rooftops in shanghai   -   obviously one in white flower territory   -   and now he didn’t know what exactly he should do.   “   it was,   yes.   ”   he trailed off,   shifting on his heels as he continued a few moments later.   “   i just wanted to watch the stars with you.   ”

[benedkt]

@montagvs​ - ‘ why do you ask ‘ what ’ when the delicious question is ‘ when ’ ? ’

   benedikt was staring at his cousin,   his expression slightly contorted to reflect the confusion he was experiencing in the moment.   he was used to his cousin speaking nonsense half the time,   but usually he was able to decipher the meaning of said nonsense.   now,   though?   well,   now he was just at a loss for an actual response.   instead, all he could say was;   “   have you finally lost it, cousin?   ” 

[benedkt]

@montagvs​ - ‘ we’re doing this together, or i’m doing it alone. either way, i need to know the thing’s been done. ’

   benedikt narrowed his gaze at his cousin,   almost as if he was offended by the implication that he’d leave roma hanging when he needed him.   “   how many years have i stuck beside you?   no matter how ridiculous your actions have been?   ”  his questions were mostly rhetorical,   as they’d been together their entire lives,   but benedikt hoped that fact alone would give roma the answer he was looking for;   however,   just in case it didn’t,   he would quickly add.   “   of course we’re doing this together.   ”

[benedkt]

@montagvs​ - ‘ i killed them. they were dead. ’

   there was a palpable sense of loss hanging heavy in the air around them.   loss of what final shreds of innocence remained between the montagov cousins.   loss of enemy blood.   loss of so much more than ben had expected from taking a life.    both montagovs were now covered in blood as they slumped against the wall of a dimly lit alleyway.   benedikt was no older than seventeen,   and roma himself was only sixteen.   they were both just kids   -   but being in a blood feud gave them no time for being    ‘   just kids   ’   .   he leaned his head back against the wall behind him,   his arm raising to reluctantly slap a bloody hand against his cousin’s shoulder.   “   we did what we had to do.   ”   he mumbled in response,   speaking low in case anyone else was lurking around.   “   them or us.   ”

[benedkt]

@dorogava​ - ‘ where did you learn to pick locks? ’

   an audible scoff escaped benedikt as he placed the bobby pin back into his pocket,   his gaze shifting to settle upon the scarlet heiress.   he seemed almost offended by her query,   but he couldn’t really blame her for not knowing him all that well   -   benedikt was a closed off person,   and juliette cai was the last person he should be divulging his personal information to;   however,   just this once,   he’d humor her.   “   i am a montagov.   ”    he reminded her,   a short laugh escaping his brims in the next breath before he spoke again.   “   if i didn’t know how to pick a measly lock,   my namesake would be wasted.   don’t you think?   ”