nobody special @benevolent-dragondomme - Tumblr Blog

What happened??

Life, it happens to all of us

I hope you gets through this and become stronger than ever.

Thank you.

Life Update

So, I know its been a bit since I’ve been on here, a lot has happened and I am going to sum everything up as best as I can.

My partner and I are still together, there was a lot that happened between us but we have worked through it and have talked and things are better. We are finally back home in our apartment together, we are celebrating holidays together and it is wonderful.

I know I’ve been radio silent for a while, school, work, conversion class and also a lot of personal things going on all contributed to it.

Im not deleting my account but I am stepping away for a much longer while working through things. Thank you all for understanding and I’ll pop on occasionally to see how you lovelies are doing. Please take care of yourselves. Thank you for all the love and support.

-Benevolent <3

LIAR!!!!!

I should have known better than to give you more chances. I should have known.

Yet I stupidly fell over and over for your honeyed words.

Im done. We. Are. Done.

*hugs tight and brings out the wine* I hear you. I wanted him, I thought he was perfect for me, I knew I deserved better and yet I wanted him to be better, I wanted it to be him. Like you, I would have served him the world on a gold platter... He made promises, he made me believe and then took everything away with a "I'm sorry, I can't do this"... then silence. He's not the one that got away, he's the one that let us go.

*nods*

twitblr

Wholesome cutlet (x)

benevolent-dragondomme

I had hoped for a love like this.... I thought that’s what I had...and what I had given... but it wasn’t enough...

Really glad to see you back just wanted to say I'm wishing you peace and healing in this tough time, I'm sorry you're in pain and hope take the time to feel better💜

Thank you

Welcome back! I'm sorry you're hurting, I wish I had comfort words to help pick you up. I've been where you've been and there was nothing anyone could say that would make me feel better. All I can say is stay strong, you'll get through this one way or another, you'll learn and yeah, maybe your walls will be a little bit higher for the next person but first you need to heal for yourself *hugs and offers ice cream* - from one domme to another

I wanted to be chosen for once.... I would have been his forever if he asked... I would have given him the damn moon and all the galaxies on a fucking gold platter.... I would have done anything... but it seems no matter my passion, no matter how much I love and give it does no good. I don’t have anything to give other than my love, care and compassion... but that wasn’t enough. And there is no one else that will ever take his place. I don’t ever want anyone else I only wanted him.

Sending you love and good vibes

Thank you. I hope you have a good one.

Yes, I am back and no please do not ask me if I want to be your dom/sub or anything else. I am hurting a lot right now. And I need some time to heal from everything. I will eventually pick myself up and move forward. Right now I don’t know what to do. I am on my own again.

Empty Words

It hurts... to be told over and over again, how much you mean to someone, that they love you that they will fight for you, that they would do anything for you.

Yet... when the time comes... they backdown and cringe... they hide and become like a submissive dog.

Nothing is more confusing to me than when someone tells me they love me, and want me... yet... they cannot stand firm in what they say.

Your actions speak louder than words... I have been hurt so many times by so many others....

Maybe its foolish of me to stay and hope that you will one day see, I would have given you everything... maybe it is I who is the fool... and you have played me well...

I gave you my heart, I did everything I could to support you and be there for you. To love, to sit with you in the dark, I even took you back when you chose another over me. I forgave you for your mistakes. I still forgive you and love you....because...it is what my heart feels is right.

But you don’t feel the same... oh you spin your words so sweetly, telling me everything I want to hear, like honey from a spoon it drips so slowly and feeds that craving... but the moment it hits my stomach... before I realize whats happened.. it has become bitter and sour...

I gave you my heart, I saw a future with you, I saw us together.... but you.. you see a future without me.. I was a play thing, I was a toy, and my heart...well that was nothing to you. I am nothing to you but a toy, but someone to lean on when it is convienent for you. Someone to run too only when you need something.

I could have been so much more...but you won’t ever give me that chance, and I will never be enough for you. I am a jar for you to fill with empty words.

namk1

Throwing in towel

Since i cant post this anywhere else because ill have people on my door telling me to be strong to keep going...they are worries they care they want to help...

Im done... Im waving white flag.. Im going silent because everything i have fought for everything i have tried and when i stand crying for help... When i blatenly stare at someone and tell them what i need and they ignore it.

It hurts...it hurts to tell someone what you need and want and all they say is they are sorry when they could easily fix it right then and there.

So im done...im done trying im done putting in effort im done with it all...vecause i cannot take anymore

kinkiestlittlekitten

I really want to be woken up by someone fucking me. I’d still be so sleepy and it would feel so fucking good I’d let you do whatever you want to me

Frumpy

I dont feel pretty...i dont feel good about myself.... I dont feel like im good anymore

I feel like im good for being someone to lean on. But as far as anything else goes...

I feel like im not good for you.... And i know you have been tired, im tirrd too, and i try to make you feel good and remind you im turned on by you...

I only wish the same was true in reverse.. That i turned you on, that you want me as much as i want you. That you crave my touch as much as i crave yours.... But i dont think you do and thats why you say your tired...

I coule be wrong, god i hope im wrong and my head is wrong....

There are times i wish youd simply bend me over, or better yet... Pin me up against the wall or to the bed and kiss me and take your time with me and tell everyone else to fuck off becauae you are focused on me....your partner, your love, and you are going to remind me that i do turn you on even when im fully clothed.

valtsv

people who argue over whos the better (gay) fictional wizard, gandalf or dumbledore, are BOTH wrong. its merlin from the sword in the stone (1963).

valtsv

this guy set the bar for wizard characters nearly 60 years ago and he's been killing the game ever since

Look, ive been going through a lot lately...and so has my partner and honestly i left because i would see things on here that would make me miss him. Or i would pop over to his likes to see if there was anything that caught my eye.

Instead...it started to do the opposite and feed my own insecurities and make me question and doubt myself.

I still question and doubt myself.

Today as i was saying goodbye i broke down and my head started to swim with insecurties and thoughts of bad things.

I dont want to go into why we only see each other on weekends or very little.

Its complicated and right now my head is a mess.

I know he is going to see this later and when he does he will feel guilty that is not the intent. That is never my intent.

I wish i could say everything going through my head but that is for him and i to discuss.

It boils down to me wondering why im not good enough to touch and do things with in person.

Thats jist of what is in my head.

Im sorry this is bleak im sorry thia isn't happy touchy feely. But right now shit sucks and i dont have an outlet to share it om without bwing judged or questioned. So if you want to get mad at me or be upset at me as to why ny posts arent all bright and cheery like they were in beginning. So be it.

Also one last note... STOP FUCKING ASKING ME TO BE YOUR DOMME I HAVE A PARTNER FFS.

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