sink down, into the dark; @benjamin-x - Tumblr Blog

davis-fitzgerald:

He smiled softly at Benny, amazed that he had found the other boy again and that both of them still seemed to have feelings for each other. Davis had never expected anything like this to happen when he woke up this morning and he just hoped it wasn’t all a dream. Reaching for Benny’s hand, he tugged slightly, encouraging the other boy to come closer. He leaned back against the arm of the couch, giving Benny plenty of space to sit closer to him. “Come here for a second…”

Benny smiles as Davis pulls at him. It honestly would have taken much for him to want to get closer towards his friend but he liked to pulling. It showed him that Davis wanted this as much as he did. “You don’t have to tell me twice.” He murmurs with a growing smile as he scoots as close as he can towards him. When he was comfortably flushed against him he eagerly pressed a few small kisses against Davis’s jawline.

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

Benny’s fingers were a connection to his past. To a time when things were easier and they were both free of the hurt and pain life had inflicted on both of them over the years. Davis shivered as his friend tickled a path up his arm and he sighed, unsure anything could be better than this moment. He chuckled at Benny’s rambling about being a gay artist, nodding in agreement at the fact that his best friend was a bit of a stereotype. Everything seemed like it was falling into place and Davis felt this growing sense of safety and peace being next to Benny. His eyes widened at Benny’s final confession, unable to believe what he was hearing as he broke out in a grin. “I don’t want to see you with anyone but me Bens,” he let out a shaky breath, leaning closer, he reached out and pushed a piece of hair behind Benny’s ear. He leaned in and kissed the other boy softly and when he pulled back he smiled once again. “I want to try too.”

Benny never thought he could be this happy. All of this had to be some sort of dream. But thankfully it wasn’t because waking up from this would be beyond heartbreaking. His eyes close slightly when he feels Davis tuck some of his hair behind his ear. He couldn’t help but smile against his friends lips as they kissed again. “I can’t believe this is actually happening...” He mumbles lowly, almost to himself as he looks at his friend. “I’ve wanted this to happen for so long.” He wasn’t sure how well this would turn out honestly. He wasn’t use to having to hide things about himself to the public but now he’d have too. But he wasn’t going to think about that too hard, or worry about it right now. All he wanted to focus on was Davis.

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

His breath caught in his throat as Benny admitted his feeling. When they were kids everything was so confusing. He knew Benny was his best friend and that he would do anything to spend just a little more time with the red haired boy, but there was something about the way Benny looked at him that had made him feel so good. And while other boys in their grade had started to talk about girls and dating, Davis had only ever wanted to spend time with Benny. He remembered being heart broken when he moved and throwing himself into baseball as a way to forget the soft smile of the boy he had left behind.

The feel of Benny’s fingers on his skin made him shiver and Davis wanted nothing more than to feel those fingers all over his body. He smiled up at his friend, unable to believe that Benny still didn’t know how special he really was. “You are perfect and anyone would be beyond lucky to be with you.” He looked away nervously, the real world was hovering just outside of their little bubble and Davis was unable to forget about it completely. “It’s not easy being…gay…in the world of baseball. I would really like to spend time with you and see what could happen here,” he swallowed hard, looking anywhere but at the guy next to him, “but I couldn’t ask you to hide away with me. That wouldn’t be fair.”

Of course Davis’s words cause Benny to blush anymore. God this kid must have looked like a stupid tomato by now. He continues lightly touching at his friends palm, slowly moving up to the rest of his arm. He absolutely loved being able to touch the his friend again. “I wish you didn’t have to hide yourself...” He mumbles a little frowning some. “I guess that’s why me being an artist and gay isn’t a surprise. Sure a lot of artists aren’t gay but...you know what I mean...” He shrugs a tiny bit at his words. He looks down, watching his fingers trailing along Davis’s arm. “ “Yes, hiding “us” wouldn’t be fair but I want to give it a try...” He pauses for a quick second.” I mean don’t think I could see myself with anyone else but you Davis. Shit I tried to move on from you for almost 10 years and I just couldn’t. No one makes me feel like you do and I doubt no one could.”

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

The soft kiss against his thumb made him smile and Davis could feel the butterflies in his stomach starting to take flight. As good as it all felt, everything seemed to be happening so fast and he took a deep breath as he tried to process everything. Ten years apart and all he wanted was to be near Benny, to hear about the other guys life and to become a part of it again. He let his hand fall away from Benny’s lips and land on his knee, squeezing gently to reassure him. “No running, but I am not going to lie, I am freaking out a little bit. Help me set things straight?” He turned his hand over, offering Benny a chance to continue the contact that they both seemed to need from each other. “What is happening…here?” He motioned between them, “Because that was a really nice kiss and I wouldn’t mind it happening again soon.”

Benny nods slightly as Davis’s words, resting his hand against the others. He gives it a quick second or two before deciding to lightly trail his fingers against his palm. He chews slightly at his bottom lip when the other asks whats happening here. “Nothing...” He states softly, looking down to watch their hands for a second. “I mean unless you want something to happen.” He pauses for a second as he looks back at him. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember Davis and I would kill to be with you....but like....” He pauses again, chewing a little harder at his own lip. “I don’t know, would you even want to be with someone like me?”

#001;

erymanthian

#benny things;

davis-fitzgerald:

Kissing Benny was freeing and Davis felt a weight fall from his shoulders. He spent so much time hiding his true self and to be able to let go for a moment with his friend was like nothing he had felt in the last ten years. He smiled shyly and reached out to touch Benny’s red cheeks. His fingers, rough from endless hours of baseball, trailed over the streak left by his tears and moved to stroke his jaw. “I always liked it when you blushed, it made me feel big and strong when we were kids.” He hooked his finger under Benny’s jaw and rubbed his thumb against the other boy’s plump bottom lip. “Don’t worry, even if I run, I can’t go far. I just live right across the hall.”

Feeling this simple touch from Davis was honestly something Benny had been wishing for. Even though the others hands were rough and calloused from the many years of playing baseball the touch felt like the softest thing he’s ever felt. Hearing his friend talk about liking making him blush of course made him blush more. Sometimes he hated how quick to blushing he was. He closes his eyes for a quick second as he feels Davis’s finger hook under his jaw, only opening when he felt the thumb run against his lip. “I hope you don’t do too much running.” He says softly, kissing at Davis’s thumb.

#001;

epiphanycafe

Little pastel painting

#benny things;

davis-fitzgerald:

The entire world stopped the second Benny kissed him and Davis briefly wondered if this was payback for ten years ago. He leaned in a little, pressing his mouth against Benny’s a little more firmly. After a moment he pulled back a little, only to lean in and kiss his friend again, trapping Benny’s top lip between his own. His hands stayed firmly planted where they were but he let his lips move against his friends for a few moments.

When he finally pulled away he sat there silently, a dumbfounded look on his face. Davis felt like his brain had been all jumbled up and he looked over at Benny, carefully watching each and every move the other boy made. “I-uh- well you see, um…” He scratched his head, the kiss replaying over and over again in his brain. “That was something else.”

The second Benny felt Davis return his kiss he could feel the tears that has welled in his eyes fall. This was honestly the only thing he wanted ever since he left. He gladly welcomed the second kiss. Their first kiss all those years ago ended to quickly that Benny didn’t even have a chance to kiss back. But this time around they both got their chances. Everything felt so perfect but his mind couldn’t help but try and convince him it was a dream.

When their kiss finally ended the redhead could feel his cheeks heat up. He blushed so much that you could hardly see the freckles on his face. “I feel like I’m going to wake up any second now and you’re going to be gone.” He states softly as he looks at his best friend, chewing at the inside of his cheek. “It felt nice being able to basically redo my first kiss..” He chuckles lowly.

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

He listened intently, a small frown falling into place as his old friend spoke. His breath caught in his throat when Benny mentioned telling his sister about the kiss. Davis had worked so hard to try and push that memory out of his mind. No matter what happened, people could not find out he was gay. There were zero out gay players in the MLB and Davis was not about to be pushed out for trying to become the first one. If Regan knew about the kiss she could take it to the news or the papers and try and ruin him.

Panic built up quickly inside him but as he followed Benny’s eyes down to the scars on his arms, everything stopped. “Oh Benz…” He reached out and grabbed his friend’s arm, covering the scars with his palm. As his friend finish talking he slowly rubbed his thumb over Benny’s arm, heartbroken at what he had caused his friend to do. “You are not a loser, you could never be a loser.” He squeezed his arm gently, waiting for the other boy to look up at him. “I am sorry I never contacted you, that was shitty of me. After I…kissed you, I kinda freaked out. My dad has pushed me to be a ball player ever since he first saw me throw a ball in little league. He had, no he has this whole life planned out for me and being,” he swallowed hard, looking away as his voice dropped to a whisper, “gay was never part of the plan.” His thumb ran over Benny’s arm again and Davis looked down in adoration at the way it felt to touch Benny after all of these years. “But I never broke my promise. I thought about you all the time after we first moved and even now, I still think about that kiss and how good life was when you were by my side.”

The redhead freezes as his arm his grabbed, blue eyes quickly darting up to look at Davis. He shivers slightly as he feels the thumb rub against him. The simple touch was enough to make him basically melt into a puddle. He could feel himself begin to tear up a little as Davis spoke. His heart was both breaking and over joyed right now. “It’s never part of the plan.” He mumbles lowly. As much as he was happy to heart that Davis was gay it sucked that he had to hide that part of him. He was somebody and parts of him couldn’t be out there as where Benny could be who he wanted without anyone caring.

He stares at his best friend as he continues to talk. He had thought about him and their kiss. He missed him. This was everything he wanted since the other moved. He doesn’t say anything as he leans towards the other and presses a light kiss against his lips.

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

Davis knew Benny’s dejected look pretty well. When they were kids and someone would tease his friend or make fun of him, Benny would have the same look on his face as he did right now. It was killing Davis to be the one that caused it but he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He had worked hard his whole life to get to the majors. Constant training and pressure from his dad and the desire to be the best had gotten him where he was and he did know who he was without all of that. Hanging out with Benny made him feel good, it made him feel like he was finally home, but it wasn’t what he had worked for and he knew it was dangerous.

When Benny mentioned other kids from school he smiled a little, remembering the good old days in Austin and how much fun he used to have growing up here. The problem was, Davis couldn’t remember a single person other than Benny that he had been friends with back then. Every happy moment and good memory came from the guy sitting next to him on the couch. “Of course man, say whatever.”

Benny looks down at his lap when Davis says he can say whatever. “When you left..” He pauses for a second, chewing on his bottom lip. “It honestly almost killed me. I really didn’t know how to anything without you.” He continues looking down at his lap. “Things got so bad Mom made me start seeing a therapist.” He nervously chuckles a little as he looks up at his friend finally. “Regan made things worst. Saying shit about how all alone I was and how you were never really my friend. Just down right awful things.” He wrinkles his nose a little bit as he frowns.

“I told her about what happened the night you felt....and you kissed me...: The last part of that sentence he said in almost a whisper. “She told me I was making it up or that it must have been some weird dream I had. ‘Davis would never kiss a loser like you.’” He mocks his sister voice with another frown. “And after a while I guess I started to believe what she said because you didn’t try to keep in contact with me. For ten years I didn’t so much as a text from you...and that really hurt..it was like the worst pain ever...well second worst...” He looks down at his arms and rubs at some of his scars.

He shakes his head after a second and looks back at Davis. “God, I sound like a fucking loser right now. I should be happy your back and here I am being a fucking downer...just ignore everything I said.”

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

He listened intently, truly interested in what had been going on with his family in the last few years. The Fitzpatricks had always been good to him, letting him stay over for dinner and treating him like one of their own. When Benny mentioned his sister, Davis wrinkled his nose. Regan was definitely not one of his favorite Fitzpatricks. He knew now that it was just a teenage girl thing, but she had lived to boss them around and younger Davis could never get how Benny handled it so easily. “My parents are doing really well. After we moved to Denver I focused on baseball and they focused on being grossly romantic and about a year after we moved I got a surprise little sister.” He laughed a little, mind blow at the fact that an entire Fitzgerald existed that Benny didn’t even know. “It think god was punishing me for always giving Regan a hard time. If you think she’s bad, you should meet Mia. She’s like Regan times a million in a nine year old’s body. It is terrifying, but I have pretty much given up on the fact that she runs the family.” He pulled his phone out and brought up a picture of the dark haired little girl. His smile turning a little sad when he thought about how much he missed her.

When Benny brought up his love life, Davis froze, unsure on how to approach the subject with his old friend. On one hand he could tell the truth, that he had been in love with his best friend since they were kids and after he moved nothing was ever the same, but that was information he didn’t share with anyone. Instead he told his other truth, the truth that kept him employed and safe in the world of baseball. “I date here and there, but mostly I am focused on baseball. It’s easy picking though, girls love a nice all american baseball boy so it’s not too hard to find some company for a night or two whenever I want it.” He looked away, ashamed that he couldn’t open up even in the privacy of Benny’s apartment, but after ten years he didn’t really know who Benny was and he wasn’t going to risk anything just to catch up with an old friend.

“Holy shit, you’re a big brother?” Benny asks with almost excitement as he leans toward the other to look at the picture he was being shown. “Well I’m glad he punished you and not me.” He chuckles lowly. “I don’t think I would like being a middle child. I got ignored enough as the youngest.” He frowns for a quick second before pushing whatever sad feeling was trying to creep in. “But she’s adorable. Takes after your mom, like you.” He smiles a little. But his smile didn’t stay long when Davis brought up his love life and mentioned girls. He does his best to play off how crushed hearing that made him feel.

He looks down at his lap, playing with his cup again. “You’ve always had the best luck with people. Girls more than others.” He states lowly as he still tries to fight that crushed feeling. “I’m sure you’ll find “company” in no time. Especially when who ever, other than me, from school finds out you’re here. They’ll freak.” He shakes his head a little before looking up at Davis. “Can I say something..?”

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

Davis pulled out his phone and walked into the kitchen. Grabbing a beer from the fridge he dialed up the pizza and quickly placed an order. As he ordered the pizza, he looked around the kitchen. It was clean but looked well used and Davis could tell Benny was content in his little home. He was glad he friend had grown up and followed his dreams, but he wondered if the young man was happy. Was he seeing anyone? Did he have friends and loved ones in his life? As kids, Davis always worried about his best friend and encouraged him to come out of his shell a little and he just hoped someone had continued to do that for Benny once he had moved away. Thinking about moving away made him remember that night and the kiss he had ended the night with. For years he had thought about his friend and that kiss and what it all meant and once again he tried his hardest to push it all away.

He walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch, looking over at his friend. “I hope you like pineapple and ham.” He said, laughing a moment later. “Just kidding, I got pepperoni and sausage, just like when we were kids.” He took a drink and scratched at the back of his head, trying to decide what questions to start with. “So ten years, fill me in on what I missed. How are your parents? And your sister? God she used to drive me nuts…is she still the bossiest person on the planet?”

Benny wrinkles his nose when Davis mentions pineapple and ham. Thankfully he was just teasing. “Dude, you almost made me regret letting you in my place.” He sticks his tongue out for a quick second. “My parents are okay, they got divorced not long before I graduated high school. So there’s that. And Regan? Jesus Christ, it’s seems like she’s gotten worse. She got married last summer and I wanted to kill myself. She was screaming about this and that before, during and after. A total bridezilla.”

He makes a slight face before leaning back against the window behind his seat. “Apparently shes’ trying to become a mom. I pray for that child.” He looks down at his lap, playing with the edge of his cup for a second. “If you’re wondering about my love life or whatever, you wont get much from that. Like sure I’ve been with people or whatever but shit never works out.” He takes another drink from his glass before looking up at Davis. “I’m like curse or some shit I guess.” He honestly wasn’t sure if Davis cared about this but he did ask for Benny to fill him in. “What about you man?”

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

Davis nodded, pulling himself away from the painting and looking back at Benny. His friend’s pink cheeks made him smile and he remembered all of the times growing up when those same cheeks burned red with embarrassment. Davis would never say it to anyone, but he used to love making his friend blush, there was something so pleasing about knowing he could get that kind of reaction from his friend growing up.

His stomach growled at the mention of eating and he grinned. “I could definitely eat.” He looked down at himself, sweating and covered in grim from moving, and decided it was better off if they stayed in tonight. “That is actually why I came over, I was going to ask my new neighbor for a pizza recommendation. What’s your favorite place? I’ll buy since I have basically barged into your place tonight.” He wagged his eyebrows playfully, “mmmmmm pizza.”

“Heh, of course you’d pick pizza.” The redhead teased with a shake of his head. “I remember when I would sleep over and we’d get so much pizza that we’d both wind up with a stomach ache.” He hoped that wouldn’t happen tonight. It had been a while since he’s eaten that much of anything in a while. “But yes, pizza.” He thinks for a second on which place they could order from. “Uh, Jet’s Pizza is pretty good. I think I have their number on the fridge or on the counter.” Since Davis was paying he should be the one who ordered. “I honestly don’t care what kind of pizza. So pick whatever dude.”

He takes his hair out of it’s messy pony tail, and runs a hand through it to only put it back. He grabbing his drink from his side table. “Also, help yourself to a drink. I’ve got a ton of shit in the fridge.” He smiles a little before drinking from his glass. He honestly couldn’t keep his eyes off Davis, it had been so long. Too long. There were so many things he wanted to say to his friend but didn’t know how to word it properly. Even if he did he for sure didn’t have the confidence to say anything.

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

He followed Benny into the apartment, taking in every visible inch of the place. When his eyes wandered over Benny he smiled, noticing the paint covered clothes and the flecks of color on his arms and hands. Benny had always been artsy when they were younger and Davis was glad to see that hadn’t changed. “Ten years, wow. Well my dad says I am always late to everything, I guess this is just another example.”

He followed Benny over to the painting, still taking in his surroundings. When his eyes landed on the painting Benny had been working on and he gasped, surprised at how good his old friend actually was. “This is amazing,” he pointed at the painting, “you did this?” Looking over at the other man, Davis smiled in awe. He stepped closer to the painting, taking in the colors and the way the paint all seemed to work together. Davis had never really been much into art, but he could tell that his friend had real talent. “Is this what you do now,” he said, staring at the painting, “like, are you an professional artist?” He blushed a little, knowing he sounded like an idiot.

Benny beamed with pride as Davis talked about his painting. The blush from before quickly made its way back to his face. He wrinkles his nose with a soft chuckle before nodding at his words. “Yeah, I’ve been working on this one for a couple weeks now.” He chews lightly, almost absentmindedly at his bottom lip, and shakes his head a little. “I mean I wouldn’t say that I am a professional artist like I don’t have people dying to buy my work or whatever but yeah this is what I do.” He wasn’t breaking the bank with his art and barely made enough to pay for his apartment but he was doing what he loved and honestly that’s all that really mattered.

“Are you hungry or whatever?” He asks as he finally puts the last of his painting things away. “I could make something? Or like we could go out? It’s whatever.” He chews at his bottom lip once more. “Though if we do the second I would have to change. I look a mess right now.”

#001;

davis-fitzgerald:

The day was full of carrying boxes up two flights of stairs and joking around with some of his fellow rookies from the team who had come to help him. Davis couldn’t believe that he was finally moving into his own place. Having been back for just over two months now, he had been staying with some teammates as he attended training camps and searched for the right place to live. As he sat the final box down on the ground he knew he had found it, the apartment was close to the field but quiet enough to get some rest, and from what he had seen so far there were plenty of people his age to befriend.

He offered his teammates a beer to say thanks and the three guys sat amongst cardboard boxes talking and carrying on. It felt good finding friends on the team so quickly but Davis knew that anything could happen in the world of sports. Once their beers were finished, the two other men said goodbye and Davis went about trying to unpack some. After a couple of hours of unpacking, his stomach started to grumble and he looked around his empty kitchen helplessly. Knowing that takeout was his best bet, Davis walked across the hall and knocked on his neighbor’s door, deciding now was a great time to meet them and get a takeout recommendation.

When a familiar redhead opened the door, he stood there shocked. He had never expected to see his childhood friend when he knocked on the door and Davis was at a loss for words for a moment. Benny looked good and he swallowed hard before finally responding. “I -uh- I just moved in… Benny Fitzpatrick? God, it’s been forever, man. How the hell are you?” He grinned, beyond happy with this little surprise.

When Davis said his name Benny couldn’t help but smile, his cheeks heating up into a faint blush that was pretty easy to see since he was so pale. “Out of all the places you could move in you move in across the hall from me.” He chuckles lowly as he lightly scratches at the back of his neck. Davis hadn’t changed to much since back then. Sure he got a little bulkier since then but that was honestly to be expected from him. He was a real sports kind of guy so it would have been a shock to not see that happen.

“I’m good, better now that I get to see you. It’s been what? Almost ten years since the last time? I was starting to think I’d never see you again.” He half teased the other with a smile. He honestly thought he’d never see him again. He thought the whole “I’ll never forget you” thing was just something Davis told him so he wouldn’t be too sad about the move. “Here, come in, come in.” He steps back waving his hand a little.

“Sorry about the mess. I don’t get many visitors and I’ve been working on a painting.” He picks a few things up as he walks over to his painting. “Make yourself at home.” He glances back at the other for a second before starting to pack up his painting supplies. This felt like it was a dream and he was gonna wake up any second now. There was no way this could be real, his childhood best friend and first real love was standing in his apartment.

#001;

Benny had heard someone moving in across the hall all morning. It was something he had gotten use too in the years he’s lived in this apartment building. No one seemed to stay long across the hall from him. Maybe the apartment was curse or something? That would have been exciting. But he knew that was more than likely not the reason, sadly. He wondered who his new neighbor would be. Would it be a family or a single person? Both were good options but he hoped that it wouldn’t be a woman. He had nothing against them, just had some bad run-ins with them. They’d find out he was a painter and ask him over and over to paint them. Plus they would hit on him constantly in hopes that he’d agree to paint them and he just wasn’t about that. He never hid his sexuality but he was also not very open about it. Only the people that were close to him knew.

While he listened to what was happening across the hall he tried finishing a painting he’d been working on recently. His hair was loosely tied back and paint was everywhere. That was his normal look. You’d had to be pretty special to see him any other why. He was so focused on what he was doing that he didn’t notice that someone had knocked on his door. It wasn’t until the third or fourth knock that he finally heard it. “Coming!” He calls out, setting his paintbrush down before heading towards the door.

When the door opened he froze, eyes widening a bit. He didn’t expect to ever see his old friend Davis again. It had been years since they last spoke let alone saw one another. “Holy shit..” He mumbles lowly as he finally snaps out of it. “What are you doing here...?”

#001;

dailyau

“You kissed me on the playground the day before you moved away in the 4th grade and now your dorm is right across the hall from mine” AU

#plot;

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sink down, into the dark;