Clueless.

I told myself growing up I wouldn't live a quiet life. So this is me, living loud. 28 years old. Modified.

[benjaminhoward]

I thank you for the vote of confidence but this a sinking ship.

[benjaminhoward]

Some days it feels like I’m just waiting to develope cancer then die.

.

[get-with-it-or-get-out]

I need attention and sex

[timbllr]

via @WeHeartIt

[reasonandempathy]

What worker unions gave America

The 40 hour work week

Holiday pay

Every work holiday other than July 4th and Christmas

Overtime pay

Hazard Pay

Sick days

Holiday time

Disability insurance

Mandatory fire escapes on the job 

on top of other basic-shit like requiring handrails, notices for dangerous chemicals, safety equipment, asbestos abatement, and more

Mandatory lunch breaks

Well-paying blue-collar work

The breaking of Robber Barons of the and early 20th Century

Decreased income inequality

The Minimum Wage

Medicare

Social Security

Pensions

The 401k

Increased standards of living

The Civil Rights Act and the EEOC

Don’t wait until Labor Day to thank the men and women who literally fought and died to give you the benefits of the society you’re living in today.

[remanence-of-love]

[bnmxfld]

-Ben Maxfield

[benjaminhoward]

I have faced trials that would break most men..

Yet I push through and I’m in a better spot than most in my life.

[marsinstars-deactivated20180529]

[benjaminhoward]

I’m really over fake ass people. Especially ones calling themselves friends.

[benjaminhoward]

Maybe there isn’t someone for everyone.

I used to always tell myself that eventually I’ll find that right person. I used to believe in the idea of that one true soulmate. That there was only ever 1 person perfect for you. I no longer believe that. I have since met 3 people that I would consider my soul mate. Each of them has pushed me away and tossed me like I was nothing. It has hurt, but since then I’m starting to believe that maybe I’d be better just ever relying on me. It seems that I’m the only person I can ever truly count on.

[dismalgurl]

[benjaminhoward]

The picture on the left was taken nearly 3 years ago. I had an awesome lady I met while at a Biggest Loser casting call, we took a group photo and this really captures just how big I was. I knew my body made a huge change but I didn’t really realize just how significant it was until I saw this picture. I’m happy with how far I’ve come, still striving for more. #throwbackthursday #obesetobeast #fitness #weightlossjourney #weightlifting #gains #getswole

[benjaminhoward]

I'll achieve everything I've ever wanted, no one can tell me otherwise.

[abstiegundzerfall]

The Mirror (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1975)

[benjaminhoward]

Some days I wonder if I should be medicated.

[benjaminhoward]

Today, I realized...

..that I often pretend I don't have crippling depression so I can make it through the day a little easier.