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[benjaweiner-blog]

They Aren't Going to Wash Themselves

By Benjamin Weiner

  (A huge pile of dishes lies on the stage)

  AMY

Are you going to wash these?

Are you going to wash these?

Are you going to...

  GREG

No!

No!

No!

Maybe.

AMY

The mice are coming

The bugs are coming

The flies are coming

Are you going to wash these?

  GREG

Seventeen sandwiches

Seven iced teas

A failed attempt to make crabcakes

  AMY

Seventeen plates and knives

Seven glasses

An assortment of dishes that all smell like crab

  (They repeat these lists, overlapping with each other)

  AMY

They aren't going to wash themselves.

  GREG

Food goes in

Dishes go out

Leaving a haze

Eating alone

Eating with you

  AMY

The mice are coming

The bugs are coming

The Judgment is coming...

  GREG

What?

  AMY

The flies are coming...

  GREG AND AMY

Love is not a dinner plate

Love is not a dinner plate

clean or dirty

What is...

What is...

  GREG

And how do you know if it's clean enough?

How do you know if it's clean enough?

  AMY

You ask me

I tell you

I know...

  These are not clean enough.

  (They smile at each other.)

  AMY

Are you going to kiss me?

  GREG

First I'm going to wash these...

  (She kisses him.)

(The dishes rise up to the sky. )

(They start to wash themselves.)

(Blackout.)

[benjaweiner-blog]