Benjamin Laurent

16 - Junior - French - Artist

[bensthetique]

bloodvndbone:

when ben seemed to try and relax a bit further jd grinned happily and started gathering up the things they needed, all the things they’d rattled off when trying to remember what was needed for the recipe. he grabbed everything he needed and set it all on the counter before getting a mixing bowl and the utensils needed to measure everything and mix things together. when ben got what was needed out of the fridge he thanked him before wrapping an arm around the blonde boy and press a light kiss to the side of his temple. “what’s it say about how to put it all together? i remember most of it but i need a reminder on the sequence,” he hummed as he stayed close to ben, finding himself able to relax a bit further now that ben seemed to as well; most of his affectionate actions something he was doing without even thinking. which was a sure sign that he was growing more and more comfortable with the thought of being like this with ben regardless of where they were- or at least he hoped so. “i’m pretty sure all the dry stuff goes together first like the flour and the baking soda and stuff then the eggs and sugar and butter get mixed together then you put ‘em together and mix everything..” he trailed off of his memory, having done this process a few times considered he enjoyed cooking and baking when he had the time.

Ben started to gather a few things from the fridge and placed them on the counter next to the dry ingredients that JD was taking out of the cupboard. Once he was done in the fridge he wandered back over, smiling as the other’s arm wrapped around him. Suddenly, his mind no longer had to scream at him to relax - he was just able to do it. “Yeah, we mix wets and dries together separately and then mix them together.” He wasn’t sure as to why so many recipes called for that, but they always did. He checked his phone again to mentally confirm that he was right, before changing the settings so his screen wouldn’t turn off, and they could continue looking at the recipe. “Where are your measuring cups?” He asked softly, looking around to try and figure out where the most logical place for the tools would be.

[bensthetique]

bloodvndbone:

before he could even get out a response to the other male suggesting cookies, ben was retracting his words and backpeddling to try and find something nutural to say that wouldn’t seem too pushy; or that’s how he seen it. without thinking he stepped around him from the side to stand in front of him, hands gently slipping into bens and lacing their fingers together as he looked down at him with a soft smile. “hey, if you want cookies i’ll make you cookies. i did say anything, didn’t i?” he gently pulled him with him as he stepped back towards the open cabinets again, humming a little as he looked them over. “what all do we need for them again? flour, sugar, baking soda.. right?” he grinned, trying to distract him a bit and coax the comfortable side out of ben and remind him that they had all the time in the world since jd had the place to himself.

Ben looked up at JD when he moved to stand in front of him and took his hands in his. “It’s just the first thing I thought of, I’m fine with anything...” He pointed out softly, but obediently followed as he was tugged towards the cupboards. “Uhm... yeah, flour, sugar, baking soda... vanilla usually, brown sugar, does it need baking powder too?” He wasn’t sure, and so the blond immediately reached into his pocket and started googling chocolate chip cookie recipes. “Nope, no baking powder... butter and eggs though.” He took a steps towards the fridge, trying to make himself relax. It had been so easy the night of the Midnight Madness, but now he felt his nerves rising again whenever he was talking to him. He was afraid that he would scare him off, but that just made him more nervous, and built on the vicious cycle plaguing him.

[bensthetique]

bloodvndbone:

noticing bens lingering confusion about not using the front door, jd simply added to his thought then. “we always had to have the front door locked in new york ‘cause of the area we lived in. my dad just carried the habit with him.” he spoke as he moved to the cabinets, pulling them open to let ben scan the insides while he thought for a second. “there’s tons of stuff now, i just we grocery shopping like, yesterday-” he cut himself off when he opened the last cabinet door, stepping back a few steps to stand next to ben and look everything over again. “-if you spot something, lemme know. like i said, i can make just about anything.” he noticed the bit of hesitance in his voice when registered that ben was having a hard time with making a decision, absent-mindedly reaching up to brush the back of his knuckles against bens hand lightly as if to remind him they were alone and he could take all the time he needed. “whatever you want- i mean it.” he gave him a soft, warm smile then, hoping that telling him he meant what he said would help ease his nerves a little  while still giving him the option to pick.

“Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense.” Ben said passively. It didn’t really, not to him, since usually he just locked his door once he got inside, but he didn’t care much about the subject matter. Instead, he looked through the cabinets when he was prompted to, eyes landing on some chocolate chips. “Cookies?” He suggested before he actually thought about it, and the second the word left his mouth, he frowned at himself. “That’s not really a meal though.” He tacked on, shaking his head. He looked like a complete idiot... but he was nervous, and didn’t want to turn JD off of him so soon. “It really probably is better if you pick. I’ll eat basically anything and I don’t have any food allergies, plus you know what you’re good at cooking better than I do.” He pointed out, trying to get himself out of the frazzled state he seemed to be stuck in.

[bensthetique]

rosemarycleary:

she could sense ben’s apprehension around the topic. nodding at his words, rosemary gently set the book aside and took one of his hands between both of hers, squeezing lightly.  “ we don’t have to talk about it anymore if you don’t want to. i get that. you know that. i hate talking about things          that’s part of my problem, i guess. ”  she spoke to the room, not looking at ben directly until after she’d finished, at which point she gave him a tight lipped smile of support.

Ben looked up at her again when she took his hand in hers and he hesitated at her words. “It just hurts a lot.” He admitted. “But I have better family now.” Although, he was still waiting for them to get tired of him and send him away, like everyone else had. He was waiting for another instance for someone to break him even further... it was only a matter of time. “But that’s not good for you.” He added, after he analyzed what he said. He was a total hypocrite, but he didn’t like the idea of her hiding things. 

[bensthetique]

bloodvndbone:

jd was a little caught off guard when ben asked why they hadn’t used the front door but even still he shrugged and answered him. “my dad’s weird about it- there’s a dead bolt on it and it’s rusted to shit so i don’t even bother trying to get it open anymore,” he spoke as he moved his way into his kitchen then, nodding when ben questioned their privacy. “yeah- just me and him here. and he hasn’t yelled at me to shut up yet, so..” he grinned as he looked over and ben to show him he was only joking; even if that did happen more often than not. “..if you’d like, i figured i’d make us something to eat, then we could hang out either in the living room, or my room and watch something? you can pick- both what to watch, and what to eat. i can cook just about anything..” he felt his face growing hot while he spoke, knowing he was blushing while he told ben the small plan he’d drawn out for the day when he’d agreed to come and hang out with him. 

Ben blinked a little bit at the answer, but then nodded and followed him towards the kitchen, not wanting to further question the motives of not using the front door. It seemed strange to him, but not worth pressing further. He let out a small laugh at JD’s joking, nodding again. “My sister answers the phone with things like that sometimes.” He admitted. She was always joking though, and he knew that JD likely wasn’t completely kidding about it. He’d had experience with that too. “That sounds great.” The blond leaned against the counter. “Wait -- you want me to pick?” His eyes widened slightly. “Oh, uhm...” He looked around quickly, trying to figure out what they could make. “What stuff do you have in the house?” He asked hesitantly. He wasn’t good at decision making, not in the slightest. 

[bensthetique]

rosemarycleary:

“ they did? i bet it’s shit. ”  rosemary tried on what she hoped was a comforting smile. with everything that had been going on for her and all the arguing at home, it was a change for her to try and be there for someone else. and as for the book? it really was beautiful, even with its sad aura. children’s books usually were, with the illustrations and all that. they were so charming.  “ do you … remember much about her? i … ”  couldn’t imagine doing that to my child. she cut herself off. she didn’t want to upset him too much.

“It didn’t look bad, actually.” Ben said with a small laugh, shaking his head. He wanted to stop talking about this, but he knew that she had questions, and he didn’t want to just brush her off. She was one of the people he was certain he could rely on in Northlake, and he didn’t want to mess that up. At her question though, he looked at her hesitantly, swallowing hard before trying to formulate an answer. “Not a lot, just a couple of things here and there... it’s kind of patchy.” He remembered her being the best person, who always seemed to be there... until she wasn’t. But he couldn’t say that out loud.

[bensthetique]

bloodvndbone:

jd couldn’t help but smirk a bit to himself when he felt ben tighten his grip up ever so slightly when the bike was finally moving, finding it both amusing and dare he say- cute, even. he simply moved his hand from one of the handles and casually rested it over one of ben’s while he managed to keep his balance just fine with just one hand on the throttle. he kept it there until he absolutely needed both hands back, but not long after that they were rolling to a complete stop as he pulled into a driveway of a small house. turning off the engine and pulling his helmet off, jd waited for ben to get off first so he could properly park it and put the helmets back before he unlocked the side door and motioned for ben to follow him.

“my dad is in new york all weekend for something, so i’ve got the place to myself,” he started as he led them into his home, shrugging out of his leather coat on his way through the kitchen to get to the living room; his dad was weird about using the front door and jd hated trying to unlock the deadbolt on it anyways. after shrugging off his own he offered to take bens, hanging them by the front door with everything else before turning back to ben with a smile. “which leads me to my question– have you eaten anything yet?” jd had a small plan in his head: he wanted to cook for ben, and take the time to really get to know him in a more comfortable setting; or at least he hoped it was.

Ben never expected himself to like the feeling of riding on a motorcycle, but whenever he did it, he felt exhilarated. He couldn’t explain the feeling, it was just so wonderful... and JD being the one driving just made it all the better, and the blond felt himself relaxing into the journey, leaning the side of his head lightly against JD’s back while he watched the scenery go by. It was a little too loud to actually speak, and he doubted it was a good idea to be talking while driving on a motorcycle anyway, so until they pulled into the driveway, he didn’t say a word. Once they did, however, he got off the motorcycle and pulled his own helmet off. “Why don’t we use the front?” He asked absentmindedly, following him towards the side door.

“Oh, really?” It wasn’t that Ben didn’t want to meet JD’s father, it was just that meeting people made him nervous... and the fact that he was gone was very relaxing. As JD offered to take his coat, he obediently handed it to him, looking around the house and trying not to stare at anything. It was strange, being back in a place like this. For years he’d lived with the wealthy, but places like this always brought back memories. “Oh, uhm... not really? I had breakfast but that was a while ago.” The blond often forgot to eat, it was a small problem of his.

[bensthetique]

rosemarycleary:

the emotional weight the book held for ben, it was more than obvious. rosemary attempted to even just look at the book gently, scared that her eyes would make the pages crumble in her hands. stroking the cover lightly, she glanced back up at ben.  “ it’s so old. it’s beautiful. ”  she studied it closely.  “ … the little prince? i know the story. huh. ”

Ben watched as she looked at the book and he nodded a little bit. “I think she got it used or something... it has someone else’s name written in the cover. But yeah... I think it’s popular in English now too. They made a movie a couple years ago.” He hadn’t seen it, but he knew that it existed... he just wasn’t sure he wanted to watch it.

[bensthetique]

worst memory?

“I, uhm... I was about seven, and it was three years after the day that I, uhm... went into foster care, and I had been having a really bad week... and I think it was the night that I actually realized I wouldn’t be going back to living with my mom again, like I had been hoping for.”

[bensthetique]

What's your secret Ben? Might as well tell us now before the blog outs it for you.

“I don’t have a secret... the blog doesn’t have anything to out.”

[bensthetique]

You and Clarissa would make such a cute couple!!! !

“Oh, uhm... thank you, I guess? But we’re just friends.”

[bensthetique]

what’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day?

“Lay in the sun and read. Or just relax... Actually, it depends on how warm it is, too.”

[heyitsme-z-deactivated20170804]

honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

[bensthetique]

rosemarycleary:

“ maybe so, but … you still kept the book, didn’t you? it must mean a lot to you. you even brought it to northlake. ”  a beat passed. she squeezed his hand lightly and let go, boney fingers clasping together in her lap.  “ can i … look at it? ”

“Well, yeah...” Ben trailed off and shrugged. “It’s the only thing I have left of her.” He was sure she was out there somewhere... but for him, the book was one of his only memories of her. “Yeah, here. But just... the cover is almost completely falling off.” It was an old book, from before Ben was born, he assumed. 

[sensorys]

source

[bensthetique]

rosemarycleary:

“ ben … ”  rosemary wracked her brain for something to say, anything. her mind was always foggy, her emotional intelligence was about as good as that of a fish, possibly worse. she reached out and gently took his hand.  “ that must’ve been … terrible. ”  wow, lame. she cringed, visibly.  “ i’m sorry. ”

Ben regretted telling her it even belonged to his mother. After all, now she knew... and there was no way he could take it back. And now she was upset, or at least worried... or something. When she took his hand, his eyes flicked up to her hesitantly before he looked to another spot. Anything to avoid the look in her eyes. “It’s fine, it was a long time ago.”

[bensthetique]

rissa-hastings:

she was perfectly fine with brushing off what just happened and focus on the easier stuff – like ben and jd, and making sure the other boy wasn’t second-guessing himself. these she could handle. “are you so sure some day she wouldn’t be?” clarissa watched ben with sympathy in her gaze, aware that he meant his mother wouldn’t want to learn he was gay.

Ben shook his head slightly at her question, letting out a bit of a sigh. “Maybe... but it’s a reputation thing.” He tried to explain. He knew she understood that, with her own mother. “I don’t think she’ll ever... accept it.” Maybe she could in the privacy of home, but when they left? Definitely not. He knew she wanted him to end up with some girl and have grandchildren and be the perfect family, and he wasn’t sure if he could provide that. “But I know that, and it’s fine. I’m not expecting anything else.”