just give me a reason @bentnotbroken - Tumblr Blog

ONLY SLIGHTLY AWKWARD REUNIONS ⇒ KLAINE

TAGGED: Blaine Anderson-Hummel; Kurt Anderson-Hummel

LOCATION: Milan, Italy.

SETTING: August 12, 2037.

NOTES: What starts out as a friendly day out together again quickly turns into a drama-filled day.

GENERAL NOTES: Have I mentioned how much I hate making titles? xD And also - this is obviously not done ha. Since it'll end with them getting back together, lol. I just wanted to post it before I forgot. I will update it as we go along.

Blaine put his phone on lock. There was no one around, so he didn't have to hide the wide smile that was on his face. Was it weird to have a little hope again? Hope that maybe they could work this out, maybe not as husbands or lovers but as friends. When it came to Kurt... he was just a little puppy, willing to be close to him. With a smooth motion he took the card out of it's holder, turning out the light and blindly took the shoulder bag from where he had put it next to the door earlier. In his best mix of Italian and English he told the driver where to go, just a matter of minutes later. He hated the car drives here in Italy, the way they just raced through the streets. But it was for a good cause. Blaine couldn't hold in a little smile when they finally arrived. Kurt was already there, he saw as he stepped out of the car. Honestly? The whole car ride he had been wondering how he was supposed to greet him. It's not like he had been in a situation like this before... Would he just say hello, would he shake his hand, would he hug him? A little voice in the back of his mind reminded himself of the words he had typed less than an hour earlier: "It doesn't have to be awkward if we don't let it." So that's why he just walked up to him, gave him a 'hello' and a 'I'm so glad to see you' before kissing him on the cheek. It didn't have to be awkward.

Kurt let out a long, heavy sigh as he sat on one of the stone benches beside the steps of the Acquario Civico while he waited for Blaine's cab to arrive. The aquarium was only four minutes from his hotel, so he had taken his time getting ready to see Blaine. He hadn't really seen much of Blaine since the other man had arrived in Italy, and he couldn't really decide whether or not he was happy about that. They had seen glimpses of each other at the shows that Sebastian and Charlotte were walking in, but beyond that they hadn't really seen each other since Blaine's plane landed. He couldn't help himself as he glanced down at his phone once more, reading over Blaine's last message over and over again. 'It doesn't have to be awkward if we don't let it.' Blaine was right about that, but Kurt could still feel his nerves on edge as he waited for his husband (possibly soon to be ex-husband?) to get to the museum. The divorce papers were still sitting on the desk in his hotel room, and had been sitting there since Kurt actually got to Milan. As he had told Blaine before, he had filed the papers just a day or two after getting to New York, but that didn't mean he had signed them. He honestly just couldn't bring himself to sign something that would signify the end of a twenty six year relationship; he had tried at least a million times, but it always ended in tears and quite a bit of alcohol. Alcohol and Kurt Anderson-Hummel just had not gotten along recently. Knowing the reaction that Blaine had had after finding out about the divorce papers, Kurt really didn't want him to find out about the fact that Kurt had slept with Sebastian while the both of them were drunk. A majority of that night was just a blur in his mind, but he could still remember flashes of his sexual encounter with his best friend. He remembered their night at the club and dancing together, but the night began to blur after they had stumbled out of the club and decided to take a gondola ride back to their hotels. He could remember bits and pieces of his night with Sebastian, but the only thing that had been crystal clear was the headache he had when he woke up, mixed with the confusion of not waking up in his own hotel bed, and then the panic that had set in when he realized he was lying beside a naked Sebastian Smythe. Shaking his head a bit as he shook off the memory, he chewed his lower lip as he noticed a cab pull up to the aquarium and a soft smile graced his lips as he watched Blaine step out of the cab. Standing up he could have sworn that his entire body was shaking with nerves, but thankfully as Blaine walked up to him he seemed to be perfectly fine. Kissing him on the cheek and offering a 'hello' in return, Kurt smiled before stepping back. "How have you been?" he asked with a smile before nodding up the stairs and heading inside. It was really hot outside, and he knew they would have been much more comfortable inside.

Blaine was happy to see him again. Of course they had seen each other, sadly enough more in the few glimpses here in Milan than they had while still in LA. It was weird, because they hadn't exactly been fighting but they still did this awkward dance around each other, trying not to come in contact too much, while that was exactly what he couldn't stop thinking about the whole day long. Probably because it would make the whole situation even more painful. But now in Milan, where they both went to the same events, he had wanted to go and talk with him. Weren't it for the presence of the man beside Kurt, who according to his Twitter feed went by the name Claude. Blaine knew that he had no right to be jealous (wasn't he the one who said they were done in a painful text conversation?) but he just couldn't help it. For the past 26 years, Kurt had been his. Kurt had been the only man in his life and vice versa. It was like deep inside he wasn't fully accustomed yet to the fact that it was over, that Kurt was maybe moving on and that Claude maybe wasn't a bad guy. But here they were, just the two of them, figuring this new but strangely trusted thing of friendship out. "I'm alright." he answered Kurt's question, "Tried to see of much of Milan as I could in the past couple of days. A man has to do <i>something</i> to keep himself busy." Blaine was talking while walking up the stairs, accepting the welcoming fact that it was cooler inside. The heat had forced him to go out in just a shirt and shorts, which he on any other occasion would never wear. "How about you? Fashion week must be some sort of visit to heaven for you, this year." he said with a small laugh. Almost every year, they had made this trip and even he could say he was never a moment bored. He awaited Kurt's answer as he walked over to the short line at the entrance. When it was finally their turn, he spoke up. "Per due, por favore." he said, sticking two fingers up, hoping it would make up for how his accent must sound. But the man behind the counter had answered with a smile, which was for Blaine enough reason to trust on the fact that he had been understood. From the corner of his eye he looked at Kurt, glad with the unexpected turn his plans for the day had took. This was good, this was trusted. As their tickets were handed over, and Blaine had quickly payed before Kurt might have gotten another idea, he gave him a smile again. "Come on."

Kurt smiled as he walked up the steps and into the cool aquarium with Blaine, listening as the other man spoke about what he had been doing while he was in Milan. "Have you only stuck to Milan? I mean..the first few days I was here I ended up driving down to Tuscany. It's a six hour drive total, but it was definitely worth it," he said with a smile and a nod as they got into the line for tickets. The heat outside had forced him to wear less layers than he normally would, but even then he still wore pants. Though, that didn't stop him from noticing Blaine's tanned legs. It wasn't really often that Blaine chose to wear shorts - usually only when they were going to the beach or in the comfort of their own house, and even then he didn't wear them often. He couldn't stop his eyes from wandering over Blaine's body, though he stopped what he was doing quickly - hopefully being Blaine really noticed. Nodding a bit with a smile as they waited in line - he didn't mind too much, there weren't many people there - a soft laugh escaped his lips at the mention of Fashion Week being a sort of heaven for him. "Heaven in some aspects, I guess," he said with a shrug. Kurt's religious views on things such as heaven or hell weren't exactly a mystery to anyone who knew him, but he supposed that Fashion Week was his own kind of personal heaven. "It's not actually as interesting...or well, fun really. Not as much as it usually is," he said with a small shake of his head, chewing his lower lip. Usually he was there with Blaine, but now that they had separated it wasn't quite as fun to go around the city by himself. "The most interesting part was trying to convince myself that I couldn't move to Tuscany permanently," he said with a soft laugh. "I'd love to be all Diane Lane in Under the Tuscan Sun, but...well it wouldn't really work. No matter how tempted I am to buy a little run down villa and fix it up myself," he added with a laugh. Smiling as Blaine ordered their tickets, he started to pull his own wallet out to pay for his ticket though he was quickly shut down as Blaine paid for their tickets before he could even say anything. "I'm surprised your accent is still that bad after this many years," he joked with a smirk as Blaine handed him his ticket. Shaking his head a little, he offered a smile and followed Blaine further into the aquarium. Despite how often the two of them had come to Milan for Fashion Week, they had never actually made a point of it to go to the aquarium, and Kurt was actually kind of excited.

Blaine listened on his turn to Kurt, how he had ended up driving to Tuscany. He couldn't help his own mind wandering of to how it would have been if they had gone together. He knew how beautiful (and romantic) it was. "I would go out of Milan if I was ready to sacrifice myself in the traffic, and with this heat you're not going to get me on packed bus." he laughed. In the past couple of days he had been able to do as much by foot, bike or cab as he could, and it had worked out just fine. "Tuscany looks and sounds amazing, but LA wouldn't be home anymore without you." He bit on the inside of his cheeks, not knowing if it was too much or not, but he wasn't going to take them back. It was true: It just wasn't. He couldn't hold in a laugh as they walked further and Kurt made a comment on his accent. "Shush you, Diane Lane." he said as he bumped his own shoulder against Kurt's, "We can't all be as fluent in a hundred languages as you." He knew his accent was thick, but it didn't matter. Kurt had always be the one who did the conversations while Blaine helped himself with what he could. More wasn't needed. It didn't take long before the lights from the big fish tanks came on their path. "Coming here was a great idea. Charlotte doesn't know what she will miss." Because honestly, even after all those years it were the simple days out like this that he enjoyed the most.

Kurt couldn't stop the laugh that pushed past his lips as Blaine spoke about the heat being what was stopping him from traveling, though he rolled his eyes in response. "Because there's no way in hell you could just..you know...rent a car that has decent air conditioning and drive yourself. You're just way too stubborn for that, right?" he asked with a smirk as he glanced over at Blaine with his brow raised. Kurt loved traveling through Italy, mainly because of how absolutely beautiful the country was, but it was hard to go to many of the places that he wanted to go to when he was alone. Nearly all he had thought about in Tuscany - despite his attempts not to - was how much more he might have enjoyed it if Blaine had been there with him. For so long they had traveled everywhere together, but now Kurt was left going to these romantic places on his own. It just hurt too much for now - which was the main reason that Kurt had decided not to go to Lake Como like Blaine had asked him too. Maybe in the years to come it wouldn't feel like a knife was twisting in his heart and stomach simultaneously, but right now he knew that if he had taken himself to Lake Como - knowing that Blaine had always planned to take him there for a romantic trip - he would be absolutely miserable. Biting his lower lip a little when Blaine mentioned how LA wouldn't be home without him, Kurt nodded a little before clearing his throat a little. "Well, Deviate is based in LA so I don't think I'm quite ready to leave it just yet, so don't worry," he said, forcing a small smile as he glanced over at Blaine. No where felt like home without Blaine, but it wasn't like he could actually tell the other man that. Blaine had told him that he had pretty much already given up on their relationship - romantically at least. Kurt just needed to move on so that eventually he would be able to survive a life without Blaine (romantically at least) without having to resort to copius amounts of alcohol. Laughing as they walked and Blaine called him Diane Lane before commenting on the fact that Kurt was fluent in multiple languages, earning a playful scoff from Kurt as he placed a hand over his heart. "One hundred? Hardly! It's more like ninety five," he said with a grin as they walked further into the aquarium and soon felt quiet. He had been nearly fully engrossed at looking at the underwater environment that he had almost entirely missed what Blaine had said, and it was a few minutes before it registered in his mind that Blaine had said something. "Hm? Oh..well, you know she's young. It's her first time here. It's not like we thought 'Hey! Lets go to the aquarium!' the first time we ever came to Milan either," he said with a soft laugh, his eyes still focused on the gorgeous blue hum from the aquarium that entirely surrounded them as they walked further into the aquarium. His eyes lifted towards the ceiling as a giant manta ray swam over head and he felt his breath catch a bit, a soft and slightly awed smile on his lips.

Blaine rolled his eyes almost simultaneously with Kurt. "You're talking as if I'm the only person on earth who just doesn't like traveling. I mean, I love seeing new places but the way is just..." he shook his head, as if that completed the sentence. He had never liked it, but without anyone to talk and be with on the way he knew, from his flight to Milan, that it was just absolute torture. Reading a bit, or doing some stuff on your phone can bring you trough some lonely and boring hours. But not a whole day. No matter how you looked at it, their almost annual trips weren't only touristic or for work, but also romantic. Was it so wrong to miss that, to miss Kurt? He knew that Kurt wasn't going to move to Italy or to another far place. Even if it was just for the children or Deviate. But honestly? He was still afraid. What if Kurt suddenly decided that LA wasn't his home anymore and moved back to New York? It was already weird not being able to see him on a daily basis, and he didn't want to know what it would be like if Kurt decided to move on in any way possible. "Fine. Ninety five, then..." he said with a small huff. He had always liked this side of Kurt. He finally started to become at ease, remembering his own promise about things being awkward. And because of that comfort it didn't matter that Kurt didn't immediately respond and that it even remained silent between them for a few minutes. He looked around, the light that came through the water made everything look more beautiful and the same thing went for Kurt. As he pretended to look at what's behind Kurt during the silence, he couldn't stop watching Kurt. The way his eyes looked, his lips, his hairline... it was all so familiar. He couldn't remember how many times he had looked into those eyes, how many times he had kissed those lips and how many times he had brushed his fingers over his hairline. And the knot in his stomach reminded him that he wasn't supposed to think about him like that anymore. That and when Kurt finally answered. A soft chuckle left his lips. Blaine's eye caught the giant manta ray a matter of seconds later. His mind went on automatic pilot, and his own hand found one of Kurt's. "It may be a simple pleasure, but this is definitely one. It's beautiful..."

Kurt shook his head a bit as he listened to Blaine speaking about how he didn't like to travel - or at least partially say. Despite their problems, Kurt could still tell what Blaine was saying or thinking most of the time just by a few simple looks or actions. He knew that Blaine wasn't a big fan of traveling alone, and honestly Kurt wasn't a fan of it either. The flight from LA to New York and the flight from New York to Milan would have been a lot worse for him if Charlotte hadn't been flying with him, so he could only imagine just how lonely and bored Blaine had been flying from LA to Milan. "Well...traveling for almost an entire day by yourself is one thing, but Tuscany isn't that far so it wasn't a huge problem," he said with a small smile before shrugging lightly. "But I get it," he said with a soft chuckle. While there was a tiny chance that he was actually considering buying a villa and moving there, the chances that he would follow through with the plan were very small. Living in Tuscany would put him too far away from both of his companies, but what would have really killed him was the distance that he would be forced to be from his children. Being apart from Blaine in LA was excruciating and moving on while still living there was practically impossible; his husband's face was pretty much everywhere. At least if he was in a small town in Tuscany it would make it a lot easier for him to move on. But honestly? Who was he trying to kid? Being away from his children would kill him, and he would never truly be able to get over Blaine. Blaine was a part of him, and he probably always would be. "Ninety five," he answered with a small nod before sighing softly and continuing to look around. Pushing thoughts of moving on or moving to Tuscany from his mind, he let himself be distracted by the beauty of the aquarium. Things between the two of them weren't supposed to be awkward, and until he had started thinking about Tuscany again they had actually been back to normal for a bit. It was nice. Looking over at Blaine with a slightly confused expression as he felt Blaine's fingers intertwining with his own, Kurt opened his mouth to say something before letting out a soft sigh and closing it again. "Y-Yeah. It's gorgeous," he said softly, offering a small sad smile before turning his attention back to their surroundings. He was torn between pulling his hand away from Blaine's and just keeping their hands connected. This was what he had wanted at least, right? He had wanted Blaine to fight for him, and even if it was just a tiny gesture this had to mean something right? Then again, Blaine had been the one to end their relationship, hadn't he? What was he doing now, just trying to string him along so he didn't really move on before Blaine was ready for him to do so?

Blaine felt a little part of himself falling back into place, when Kurt didn't pull away. The soft pressing of their hands together was oddly comforting and the constant weird feeling in his head seemed to disappear for just a while. Was it so wrong to just pretend everything was okay for just a few moments? But then he shook his head, answering a question no one had asked out loud. Yes it was. But he didn't pull away his hand, not now Kurt had accepted it. Instead he decided to do like Kurt, and returned his attention back to their environment, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary. Not that he really was a fan of fish, but he couldn't deny this was beautiful. There was something soothing about seeing them just swimming around and apparently not minding to stay in the same place or same fish the whole time. He wouldn't mind either, as long as it was with Kurt. Again he shook his head, he wasn't supposed to think that way anymore. They walked a bit further, fingers still intertwined. They came into a new section, the little information board saying: fish of... "Did you visit it, Lake Como?" He realized it was something he never should have started about in the first place, since he was intoxicated at the time and he only fully understood what he had send the morning after, while re-reading his texts, but that didn't mean he wasn't curious.

Kurt let out a soft sigh as they continued to walk through the aquarium together, hand-in-hand as if nothing was wrong. He wanted to just act like things between the two of them were completely fine - as if the last couple months of the fighting as well as the separation had never happened - but he knew that he couldn't do that. Not for too long anyway. Eventually, he had to go back to reality. A painful reality where Blaine had ended things and the two of them were attempting to move on. But for now, well for now he could act like things were completely normal. For now he could act like there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary between two men who had separated over a month ago and hardly spoken since. Despite the fact that they hadn't spoken much in the time that had passed since their separation though, things did seem to be getting better between them. They weren't arguing (not as much at least) and they were even out in public together again. Silently, Kurt was just happy that - as far as he knew - no photographers or paparazzi had followed them into the aquarium. They could be alone and try to keep it as minimally awkward as they possibly could. Or at least, that had been his goal until Blaine brought up the question of whether or not he had gone to visit Lake Como. Kurt chewed his lower lip as he watched a few fish swimming past the two of them, acting for a moment as if he hadn't heard Blaine. In all honesty, it hurt far too much to go to Lake Como; especially after Blaine had told him that he had always planned to take Kurt there on a romantic trip. In that moment he was tempted to pull his hand away - he had even started to slowly untangle their fingers - but in the end he just kept his hand exactly where it had been before, intertwined with Blaine's before he finally answered. "Um, n-no. I didn't," he answered with a quick shake of his head, his voice soft and a little less firm than he had wanted it to be. "It was just too...too much," he finished, glancing over at Blaine for a moment - trying to mask his hurt expression - before offering a soft smile and turning his attention back to the fish, watching as another manta ray (or was it the same one?) glided past them.

Blaine could feel this moment slip through his fingers. He could feel how Kurt untangled his fingers from his own. He was ready to let his hand go, not wanting to make him uncomfortable and pretend to search something in his bag. But right on that moment he felt Kurt's hand in his own again, just as steady as they had been before. Blaine couldn't hold in a smile on his lips. "I understand..." he said as he heard Kurt talk about how he didn't go to Lake Como. He kept his eyes on the giant fish tank, but gave a small squeeze in his hand to let him know he really did understand. "I don't think I would go, myself..." and that was more than just a possibility, knowing that he hadn't even slept in their bedroom since Kurt had left, not wanting to be constantly reminded about how they had almost always fell asleep, half intertwined with each other. Though he didn't sleep in their bedroom, he had took Kurt's pillow with him. It was softer than his own, something he normally wouldn't be a fan of, but it was comforting that it was still a part of Kurt. But now, after more than a month, the pillow had lost everything of Kurt's scent and it all just made him feel pathetic.

Kurt let out a short sigh as he felt Blaine's hand squeezing his own, and he knew what it meant - reassurance that he really did understand what Kurt had meant when he said it was too hard. Kurt didn't have to explain himself further and actually make things awkward. Hearing that Blaine didn't think he would go either made him feel a little better. At least he wasn't the only one suffering in this separation, right? It could have been entirely possible that Blaine regretted suggesting that their relationship really was over. Maybe. Granted, the other man didn't say anything of the sort - he hadn't really said anything like that during the month or so that had passed - but a part of Kurt still clung to the idea that Blaine might not have been ready to just give up on them entirely. He missed the Blaine that he had known in high school and college, the man who would have done anything to reassure Kurt that he truly did love him and he would never give up on him. They walked in silence for a bit, Kurt allowing himself to get lost in his own thoughts and memories as they wandered through the museum until they came across a large room with a waterfall against the back wall and the tank surrounding it. They could have gone into the level below to see the animals that were living in the tank, but Kurt couldn't help but stop and stare at the waterfall. It was absolutely beautiful, and reminded him of the one thing he had always wanted to do with Blaine but had never gotten the chance to do. A part of him had always wanted to go to Hawaii - more specifically the islands of Kauai or Maui - and take one of the jungle tours so that they could visit the less touristy waterfalls. It was something that he had always wanted to do (even if it sounded cliche), but it was something they had never actually done. Now, it was likely they would never actually be able to do it - not together at least - and he let out a shaky sigh, silently telling himself that he was not allowed to break down or cry.

Blaine's mind was wandering to earlier stages of their relationship. How they had shared a first kiss followed by countless more, the first 'I love you', transferring, the nervous drive back home after closing night in his Junior year. The memories from his senior year had no place right now. The first time he proposed, followed by a second and even a third before Kurt thought it was the right time, buying their first real house and the joyful tears when they realized they would soon be fathers. Never, during any of those moments he had thought that they would be in a situation like this. He never would have let it escalate like this. That last thought brought his mind back to reality and Blaine realized that they were standing in front of the waterfall. The sound of the clattering water mad it almost impossible to think about anything else than the water itself. It was impossible to say that it wasn't beautiful, even if it was handmade. He looked over to Kurt's side and saw the way he looked at it, obviously admiring the waterfall the same way Blaine was admiring the man his fingers were intertwined with on that moment. He only aloud himself to do so for a moment, not giving himself the chance to hurt himself even more or make stupid decisions. The sad and shaky sigh that came from next to him didn't go unnoticed. "Is everything okay?"

Kurt was pulled from his thoughts as he heard Blaine's voice next to him, asking if he was okay. It had startled him a little, but he soon nodded a little in response and offered a small smile. "Yeah," he said softly, clearing his throat a little - knowing that he probably sounded like he was on the verge of tears. "Just a lot of...old thoughts..dreams..plans," he said, chewing his lower lip before sighing and shrugging lightly. "My own version of Lake Como, I guess," he added with a slight smile as he looked from Blaine, back to the water and blinked a few times - almost as if he were doing his best to prevent his eyes from tearing up. "I'll be fine," he said a few minutes later, starting to move on from the large room. He wasn't exactly sure why he thought coming to a place like this with Blaine would have been a good idea. In the past, they would have been standing much closer - with their bodies practically intertwined instead of just their fingers; they might have even stolen away to a dark corner or a lower level so they could share a few kisses in private. Now though, now it was just a slightly awkward walk through a beautiful aquarium while they tried to find something to talk about that wasn't related to their relationship, which seemed to be too fresh on both of their minds for the subject to be anything but awkward. That thought only brought to mind the divorce papers sitting on the table in his bedroom back at the hotel, still unsigned except for maybe a dot or two where Kurt had tried to sign them but had never actually been able to bring himself to do so. He knew that if all of this was going to be a real thing, to be permanent and over (like he thought Blaine wanted), that he needed to sign the papers. They would need to talk about living arrangements with the kids and everything too. That was just something he wasn't prepared to do just yet.

Blaine hated the fact that he couldn't do anything about the sad look on his face. In better days he would've pulled him in for a hug, massaged his scalp or back or just kiss away the sad smile from his lips. Neither of those options formed a solution of any sort, but they did just fine as a distraction. But he couldn't do any of those things in fear of making things even more awkward as they already were (because honestly? he couldn't deny anymore that it was) or starting a fight. "You'll be okay," he said as he awkwardly (why Blaine, why?) bumped his shoulder against Kurt's. He hadn't always been sure of that in the past couple of months, and he wasn't even completely sure of that right now. But didn't the fact that they were here, after a month of silence, with their hands holding each other's say that, too? And at the same time it gave some sort of comfort, how terrible it may sound, that Kurt had his own version of Lake Como, as he just called it. It was nice to hear that Kurt up until now had still had plans. For them. And even then, Kurt was still the strongest man he had ever known.

Kurt sighed softly as Blaine told him that he would be okay, a soft smile gracing his lips as Blaine bumped his shoulder as well. "Hopefully," he said with a slight nod and a soft smile. The rest of that sentence was 'eventually', but he knew that part went without saying. Biting the inside of his cheek, Kurt glanced over at Blaine before offering a slightly awkward smile. They had been at the aquarium now for at least an hour, and he had completely lost track of time. It had been a while since he had been out with Blaine and actually lost track with time. Hell, it had been a long time since he had actually been out with Blaine, but it had been even longer since he had actually lost track of time. "Um, do you want to grab lunch or something? I mean, I could always just head back to the hotel and order from the kitchens and stuff, but I figured...figured I'd ask you know?" he said, chewing his lower lip a bit as he waited for Blaine to answer.

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