“For most people,” Bertie drawled lazily, leaning against the weathered surface of the metal chairs that had been set up on The Grey Dog’s patio, “Being compared to their dog is not a compliment.” His attention cast down at Romeo, whose big, sloppy tongue dribbled onto the toe of Oliver’s sneakers. “But I suppose in this case,” he gestured towards the jacket that the bulldog had been zipped up in, “He really is better better dressed than you.” Pointedly plucking the garnish out of his martini he flicked it off and in the direction of the beast, pausing to consider only once it was swallowed down. “Dogs can eat olives, right?”
Earlier that night, Alexander had tried, with every cell on his body, to not let his annoyance show; however, after all the events that had happened to him in that afternoon, the rage had quickly built in his gut and he snapped at some colleagues just before leaving the precinct, something that made him feel not so good about himself. Now, two blocks away from his place of work, he was quietly enjoying what seemed to be the best meal he ever had. The man looked up at the diner’s TV while he ate; he still didn’t get the appeal of reality shows. “It’s weird how food tastes better when you’re feeling like absolute shit”, he said to the person that had just taken the seat next to him on the diner retro countertop, not really expecting them to answer him.
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He had made it clear in their messages that if he was to wait for Oliver at any diner, it would be SoHo Diner and definitely not the Denny’s that his companion had dropped a pin at earlier. Bertie had pointedly decided to not order any food, daring the waitress to comment on such a fact as he worked on his second grapefruit mimosa. There were other people set up on the bar top on either side of him, but he paid them little mind, swiping mindlessly through a dating app as he slowly inched towards inebriation. A compelling candidate sent a picture and Bertie pinched at his screen to zoom in when a voice made him glance over, letting out an exasperated breath when he realized that the person next to him wanted to make small talk. “I wouldn’t know, I don’t do carbs when I’m in a bad mood.” He turned his phone to show off the screen and the image on it. “Smash or pass?”
“god why are men so bloody predictable?!” the blonde huffed as she collapsed down beside the other, frustration ebbing off of her, “i swear…if one more man tells me how he wants to play connect the dots with my freckles as he eye fucks me, i’m going to punch him in the fucking dick.”
@villagestart
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“Could be evolution,” Bertie offered, swirling his glass in his hands. The appletinis here were excellent, which had prompted the midday traipse across the city for a beverage— but when she flopped down next to him his reaction went from bemused to disgruntled. Looking sideways, he gestured towards the blonde, “No disrespect to your freckles, but if you don’t get off my jacket, I’ll have to punch you in the fucking dick.”
“Dammit!” The brunette looked at herself in the nearby window reflection. It was hard for her not to pay attention to how she looked - always one that wanted to make sure she was exuding confidence, strength, and whatever would get her through her trusty checklist of the day. What she didn’t expect was to see a smear of foundation on the collar of her blouse. She couldn’t go to work like this! Glancing around for the first passerby she saw, she waved them over, “Hey… Do you have a shout wipe or something with you?” The one time she didn’t. “Or a shirt to borrow, I’ll take that too.” Yes, exactly what you say to a random person, Taryn!
open @villagestart
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Bertie paused, looking at the brunette incredulously. “The literal shirt off of my back? Soto, you’ve got the wrong guy.” His head canted as he assessed the damage, making a face at the swipe of orangey makeup on her shirt. “I think that’s god’s punishment for not matching your neck,” he pointed out before tutting, offering her his arm. “If this was an elaborate ruse for me to Pretty Woman you, I’m afraid it worked. First stop—“ he considered, narrowing blue eyes in thought while he assessed her jeans. All wheels stopped their churn and he lowered his sunglasses in horror. “Wait, are those Zara?”
I saw [ BERTRAM “BERTIE” RASKE ] at a coffee shop in [MANHATTAN] today. I forgot how much [HE] looks like [THOMAS DOHERTY]. They are a [TWENTY-FIVE] year old [EVENT PLANNER] who’s been in NYC for [TWENTY-FIVE YEARS] now. Every time we run into each other, they are always [CREATIVE & OPPORTUNISTIC] but I’ve heard people say they can also be [PETTY & SPITEFUL]. [DADDY AF BY SLAYYYTER] reminds me of them every time it comes on the radio.
Hello hello! I’m Sam and this is Bertie! He’s a new york native with a long history of doing absolutely nothing useful but he does manage to look incredible while doing it!! Very excited to be here and there’s more about him under the cut 😌
behold, the self appointed king of tribeca
this is a shared regency, he has a twin sister named ingrid who is the other half to the two-headed raske monster, but at current she is living her best green juice yogalates life in los angeles, but bertie expects her back as soon as she starts missing cigarettes and full coverage concealer too much
daddy’s a plastic surgeon to the stars, famous for giving the hadid’s their picture perfect noses (and bertie’s!) and the unclockable filler that has sculpted the faces of the elite and his mother’s a rhony candidate housewife who had the tendency to forget she had children
bertie went to private schools, doesn’t know what food tastes like if it’s not served on a silver spoon and is very used to excess!
after highschool he took a gap year that has literally never ended, when it came to universities it seemed as though NYC was an option simply for the aesthetic but he quickly found out that he could just as easily wear collegiate fashion and hang out around the campus for the same experience without having to read james joyce
jobs are for people who don’t have trust funds like his, but he’s taken on a ty sunderland sort of role, claiming that he is a “dj, event promoter and entrepreneur” with a straight face. in truth? he doesn’t do much but hit play on a music mix that he makes but he does have excellent taste when it comes to those thirty tracks!
he’s a petty, snarky creature who is very in love with himself but he has a magpie like interest in shiny things and interesting people. simply put? he likes beautiful things and having a good time :)
highlights of his illustrious career include:
he is one of susanne bartsch’s darlings and a constant fixture in her promotions for her events. bertie doesn’t perform, but he does look very very good in neon and covered in glitter
last year he was in the consideration for love island USA and had even made it as far as the promotional stills and official announcements but some controversial content on his twitter had him removed so so so fast
he’s had a torrid affair with an F1 driver but he can’t tell you about it bc of the NDA’s he had to sign (he’ll tell u all about it after like, two drinks tops, it was lance stroll but he will NOT text bertie back :/ )
snowghoul
romaincrisis
2087
