let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
h
Janaina Medeiros
Stranger Things
Monterey Bay Aquarium
ellievsbear
Cosmic Funnies
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
$LAYYYTER
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Mike Driver
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styofa doing anything
tumblr dot com
Peter Solarz
wallacepolsom
izzy's playlists!
Today's Document
Product Placement
Jules of Nature
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@bexlyp
The bar is closing and you and your drunk friends are hungry! In your opinion what's the best drunk food?
tacos
pancakes
hot dogs
chicken wings
burgers
pizza
nachos
Philly cheesesteak
ramen
peanut butter & jelly
dude see if there's a [tag] nearby
I would never bring this garbage into the temple that is my body
you know that trope where it’s princess + knight, but they’ve both been captured by the bad guys and the princess is now gripped by the jaw by the villain, receiving a thin cut to her cheek while remaining completely still with a defiant look in her eyes even as a droplet of blood begins to trickle out of the wound, all while 3 people AT THE VERY LEAST need to have their hands locked on the knight because he’s thrashing around like a wild animal, trying so so so desperately, violently, to get to her?
yeah, that’s porn to me.
The new Sturgill record fuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
I genuinely don’t know if I want to dance or melt into the couch with an edible.
Spin the wheel.
You have been offered a full-ride scholarship to get a four-year degree in this field, specifically. Upon graduation, you will be guaranteed a job in this field at the 75th percentile of average salary for the field, with the possibility of further advancement as the years go on.
However, you will never be able to get a job in any other field.
Do you take the offer?
100% yes!
Probably yes
I'm honestly torn, this is a hard choice
Probably not
Absolutely fucking not
Random other option for people who want to ramble in the tags
You could not pry me off of this major/field with a fucking crowbar, my friend.
Find a set of random coordinates here.* You are promptly teleported to that location, with nothing more than the clothes and other objects on your person. How bad a time are you having?
*: Reroll open ocean results. Let's assume the teleporter has the decency to at least deposit you on solid ground.
Teleporting results:
Mortal peril - Exposure to the elements
Mortal peril - Dangerous wildlife
Mortal peril - Dangerous humans
I'll have a rough time, but I'll live
Mostly okay, though still a weird experience
Hell yeah, impromptu vacation~!
“zayne isn’t jealous like the other LIs” zayne is so petty he sabotaged the gift mc was buying for him because he thought it was for another man
Uh, did y'all forget that Zayne has:
Wondered if a fucking mascot was a boy or girl when it touched MC.
Told her she's NOT allowed to dance with other men.
Almost self sabotaged his own gift thinking it was for another man.
Immediately shut down Carter's attempt to have dinner with her.
This man is the EPITOME of jealousy and I love him for it 💕
excuse me, i'm borrowing a work laptop and there's a wall to stop me from going to gaming sites. do you or anyone else have any suggestions to bypass the wall?
I would strongly recommend not trying to get around blocking rules on your work laptop because your work is almost certainly logging what happens on the laptop; if they check those logs at the very least you will no longer be allowed to borrow the laptop, and possibly you won't continue to have a work to borrow a laptop from.
Also, depending on how huge a deal anyone wants to make of this, it may be actually illegal to do this on someone else's computer (and even if they lent it to you, that is their computer, and what you are discussing is sometimes described as "unauthorized access" and is a no-shit crime; people also don't think that logging into an ex's email that they had the password to is a crime - it is. Don't do this shit)
You can do whatever you want on your own computer and your own network. If you are on somebody else's computer you have to follow their rules. This is annoying, but unless you are certain that you are good enough to do this in a way that will be completely undetectable to your employer, you shouldn't do this.
If you work someplace that provides you a computer for work, you should ONLY use that computer for work. Assume that your boss can see everything that you do on that work computer and act accordingly.
Like, just as a very normal example, one of the things we frequently get requests for at work is a report of how often someone is logging in to their profile and how much time they spend logged in to various work-related programs. This is information that our clients sometimes use to build cases for termination.
Do not torrent from your work computer, and yes I would delete everything that you've got on there. Stop doing anything non work-related now, remove anything you've installed or downloaded that is non work-related.
I'm torn about whether you should tell your supervisor or just not say anything until it's brought up. It's going to depend a lot on how on-it your company is. If your supervisor is cool and your company is chill, you might want to approach the company and say "hey, I did something thoughtless and I was treating the company computer like a personal device for a little while before I had a lightbulb moment and realized my mistake then deleted my personal information from the machine" and see what happens. If your company is not chill, remove everything and if anyone ever confronts you about this don't lie and say you didn't do anything - they've got logs - but say "I'm sorry, I was treating the work computer like a personal machine before I realized how inappropriate that was and stopped using it in that way; I removed my personal information on X date and have not used it that way since, my apologies."
Companies don't just track your activities on work machines because they want to know what you're doing, they do it because it can be a big security risk; if you've been torrenting on the work computer and you're not REALLY REALLY REALLY sure what you're doing, you can end up getting the machine compromised and then introducing a compromised machine into your work's network and infecting other machines or you can end up with a keylogger vacuuming up sensitive client data.
If there is ANY RISK WHATSOEVER that you've ended up with any kind of malware/virus/keylogger, you have to bring it up with work IT. Frame it as a thoughtless mistake and tell them you're approaching them proactively because you don't want to risk introducing vulnerabilities to the environment or put company data at risk. Don't tell them about any crimes you were committing (torrenting copyrighted material is a crime) but let them know that there may be malicious software on the device and it should be imaged.
You can have ingenuity when you understand what event logs are.
Just out of law school, I worked doing something called E-Discovery. E-discovery is what happens when someone is getting sued and computer records are requested during the discovery phase.
I and dozens of other attorneys would spend the day sifting by through emails, pdfs, event logs, browser histories, word docs, excel sheets, etc. looking for information relative to the case to hand over to the other party.
But sometimes, because they were already paying for our time, our clients would ask us to flag… interesting… documents that we’d find. Things that looked suspicious or illegal and might be important to know about that weren’t actually relevant to the case. They could do that because it’s their own documents we were going through or documents they had permission to go through.
Let me tell you, the amount of affairs alone you find on people’s work emails is insane. Casual discussions of bribes, embezzlement, etc. And a whole lot of private health information and porn use. And that’s not even touching the time we had an actual order from the FBI to let them know if we found CP while looking through documents in our corporate civil case that had nothing to do with pedophilia. Because the company our client was suing shared a server with a different company that was being investigated for that.
Basically: there is no such thing as privacy on a work computer. It logs every thing you do. And your bosses can access it any time they want. Because it’s their computer, not yours. And even if they don’t know how to extract that info or have time to sort it themselves, there are many very skilled professionals that do.
DO NOT USE YOUR WORK COMPUTER FOR PRIVATE THINGS!
Chiming in to add another fun fact: if your work computer has anything to do with the government (local/state/federal, or even as a contractor), using it for personal reasons is a Bad Idea for all the reasons listed above, plus a side of potential fines in the thousands of dollars per instance of misuse and incarceration.
No media or game is worth going to prison and coming out in debt.
internet politics and real-world politics have gotten so separated, and pretty soon all this internet weirdness is gonna come crashing into real life and politicians are gonna start throwing around words like “SJW” and “anime communist” and “dark enlightenment” and it’s just gonna be the most ridiculous fucking thing
date of origin: 13th of april, 2015.
happy 10 year anniversary!
This post.
This fucking post.
It is in some ways, the only piece of evidence I have that there was a time Before.
“X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).
“Okay but why is it always so chemically roundabout and unnecessarily complicated” well buddy, that’s because your blood is imitation seawater. See? It’s very simple.
Blood is what now?
It’s imitation seawater what part is confusing
#are you telling me#humans are just sentient aquariums?
Buddy if anything is living in your blood (except for more parts of you) in detectable amounts then you have a serious microbial infection and need to go to the hospital.
Humans are seawater wastelands kept sterile of all but human cells, with microbial mats coating their surfaces.
Thank you that’s…very disturbing
It’s not my fault you’re human.
Ok but “It’s not my fault you’re human.” Is the best comeback ever.
You can use it against anyone except children that you biologically helped to create.
#/blood is imitation seawater/ is the part that’s confusing
Picture this: you are a Thing That Lives In The Ocean. Some kind of small multicellular animal a long time ago, before proper circulatory systems existed. “Wow,” you think, metaphorically, “it sure is difficult to diffuse chemicals across my whole body. Kinda puts a hard limit on the size and distance of what specialised organs I can have. Good thing I have all this water around me that’s the same salinity as my cells (they have to be that way so I don’t explode or shrivel up) so I can diffuse and filter chemicals with that.”
“Wait a minute,” you say a couple of generations later, because you’re not actually a small animal but an evolutionary process personified and simplified to the point of dangerous inaccuracy for the purposes of a Tumblr post, “instead of losing all these important chemicals to the water around me, how about I put it in tubes? I can keep MY water separate from the rest of the world’s water! Anything I want to keep goes in my water! Anything I don’t, I dump back into the outside water! I’m a genius! An unthinking natural trial-and-error process that’s a GENIUS!”
“Wow,” you think a great many generations later, “being able to have such control over such high concentrations of important chemicals is so great. Look how big I’m getting. I even have a special pump to move my seawater around, and these cool filter systems to keep the chemicals in it right, and that control and chemical concentration has let me grow so many energy-intensive, highly specialised organs! Being big is so hard. I need special cells just to carry my oxygen around now, to make sure my enormous, constantly-operating body has enough of it.”
At this point you are embodying a fish, and eventually, fish start straying into water with different pressures and salinity levels. (I mean, they do that since befor ehty’er fish, but… look, I’m trying to keep things simple here.) “What the FUCK,” you think. “My inside water is at a different salinity and pressure to the outside water?? How am I supposed to deal with that? I can’t have freshwater inside my seawater tubes! My cells have a set salinity and they would explode! I need to start beefing up my regulatory and filter systems so that my inside seawater STAYS SEAWATER OF THE CORRECT SALINITY even if the outside water is different! Fortunately, adding salt to my seawater is a lot easier than removing it, and I want to be saltier than this weird outside water.” At this point you beef up your liver and urinary systems to compensate for different salinities. (Note: the majority of fish, freshwater and saltwater, have a fairly narrow band of salinities they can live in. Every fish doesn’t get to deal with every level of salinity; they are evolved to regulate within specific bands.)
You also, at some point, go out on land. This is new and weird because you have to carry all of your water inside. “It’s a good thing I turned myself into a giant bag of seawater,” you think. “If I wasn’t carrying my seawater inside, how would I transport all these important chemicals between my organs and the environment?” As you specialise to live entirely outside of the water, you realise (once again) that it’s a lot easier to add salt to water than to remove it in great quantities. Drinking seawater in large amounts becomes toxic; your body isn’t specialised for removing that amount of salt. Instead, you drink freshwater, and add salts to that. The majority of your organs are, at this point, specialised for moving your seawater around, protecting it, adding stuff to it, or taking stuff out. You have turned yourself into an intelligent bag for carrying and regulating a small amount of imitation seawater, and its salinity (and your commitment to maintaining that salinity) is based entirely on the seawater that some early animals started to build tubes around a long time ago.
And that’s what a human is!
Well, there’s another few steps, of course.
Because at some point, operating along lines of logic that worked out perfectly so far, you did decide to be a mammal.
A mammal is a machine for adapting to Circumstances. A mammal is a tremendously resilient all-terrain life-support system, with built-in heating, cooling, respiration, and incubators for reproduction. Mammals internalise everything (grudges, eggs) and furthermore are excessively, flamboyantly wet internally. Sure, everyone’s a bag of chemicals; but mammals slosh. Mammals took the concept of an internal ocean and took it in an unnecessarily splashy direction, added aftermarket mods and a climate-control system,
and just to show off, you leaned across the metaphorical gambling table and said: “my internal ocean is so good-“
“Bullshit,” said the shark, keeping it salty (ha)
“My internal ocean is so brilliantly resilient, more so than any of YOURS,” you said, holding their attention with a digit held aloft, “that for my next trick, I shall artistically recreate the ballad of evolution as a performance. I shall craft a complex chemical ballet depicting the origin of multicellular life - using some of my own material, of course-”
“Oh, ANYONE can lay an egg,” yodel the fish, and the ray adds: “ontogeny does NOT recapitulate phylogeny!!”
And you’re like, “yeah no, it’s an artistic rendition, not a literal thing. Basically I’m going to take some cells and brew them up-“
“Like an egg.”
“Like an egg. An egg but internally.”
“Yeah,” said the viviparous reptile, “yeah, like, that can work really well. I’ve always said it’s the highest test of one’s chemical know-how. It’s a lot of work. And forget about support from your family - forget about support from your PHYLUM - all you get is criticism.”
“I’m gonna do it on purpose forever,” you said. “The highest chemical, thermoregulatory, immunological, everything-logical challenge. It’s gonna be my thing.”
“I’m with you,” said a viviparous fish, stoutly. “Representation.”
You kindly don’t point out, once again, that you’re planning to do this outside the ocean, in a range of temperatures; carrying the dividing cells in a perfect 37.5• solution of saline broth in all terrains, breathing oxygen in a complicated matter, you know, bit more difficult; but you need your allies.
“It’s solid,” says the coelacanth.
“But is it metal?” says the deep-vent organism.
“Oh, it’s metal. I will feed the young,” you say, magnificently, “on an echo of the mother ocean. The first rich feast of cellular matter, the first hunt for sustenance, the first bite they sip of our liquid planet-”
Everyone waits.
“Will be a blood byproduct. My own blood byproduct.”
Everyone looks uncomfortable.
“But,” a hagfish says carefully, “don’t you outdoorsy guys still need your blood?”
You cough and explain that if you stay wet enough internally and hydrate frequently, you should be able to produce enough blood byproduct to sustain your hellish new invention until they can eat your peers.
The outrage that follows includes questions like “is this some furry shit?” And: “milk has WATER in it?”
And you won the bet. “My inner ocean is such a perfect homage to the primordial soup that I can personally cook up an entire live hairy mammal in it. And then generate excess blood byproduct from my body and give it to the small mammal until it gets big.”
That is an absolutely bonkers pitch, by the way, and everyone thought you were a showoff, even before the opposable thumbs. When the winter came, and the winter of winters, and the rain was acid and the air was poison on the tender shells of their eggs and choked the children in the shells; when the plants turned to poison, and the ocean turned against you all; when the climate changed, and the world’s children fell to shadow; your internal ocean was it that held true. A bet laid against the changing fates, a bet laid by a small beast against climate and geography and the forces of outer space, that you won. The dinosaurs fell and the pterosaurs fell and the marine reptiles dwindled, and you, furthest-child, least-looked-for, long-range-spaceship, held hope internally at 37.5 degrees. Which is another thing that humans do, sometimes.
It has been MONTHS, @elodieunderglass, and I am still mumbling “furthest-child, least-looked-for, long-range-spaceship” under my breath as a comfort phrase, and the FUCKING INDIGNITY that it came from this godforsaken post about THE HORRIBLE WETNESS OF MAMMALS!
“The horrible wetness of mammals” would make a great band name.
“hold hope, internally, at 37.5 degrees” and “Mammals internalize everything (eggs, grudges)” Now live permanently in my vocabulary
Text: It’s not my fault you’re human @derinthescarletpescatarian
Ink: Diamine Forest Gateau
kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically
dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :
a warning.
if you have boops enabled, and i see your post, you are not safe until the boop o meter goes away
what is a “dare kid” exactly? i’ve never heard of it before but i assume it has something to do with drinking based on your post?
The DARE "against drugs and violence" program was an educational program that was supposed to educate kids in grade 5 north American public school about the dangers of drugs, smoking, and alcohol through the late 80's-early 2000's.
If I remember correctly, it was a big booklet we had to read that described various substances in a vague, hand-wavy way, gave a list of all the terrible things these drugs did to your body, and then a cheesy example of someone trying to give you free drugs where you had to decline using one of the described techniques to theoretically train you against peer pressure.
Then at the end a cop would show up and talk about how drugs were bad, and you'd have to sign a contract promising to never use drugs, and they'd make you pay $25 for a T-Shirt declaring you were a DARE kid.
Sometimes you'd get a visit from a guy in a Darren the DARE Lion fursuit and you could get your picture taken giving him a hug while he handed you a certificate. (I declined the hug.)
The program is now defunct for many reasons, but primarily because it was later found to have increased substance abuse in minors, presumably because kids who had never previously heard of the recreational effects of these things were now aware that, one: drugs feel good, and two: apparently everyone is doing them all the time, and they're probably willing to share.
TL/DR: IMO, The DARE program was a preventative education program for kids that was essentially the substance abuse equivalent of handing out Purity Rings at a sex shop
Also sometimes, like with my DARE experience, the sheriff’s deputy that came to give the DARE talk was convicted of, among other things, selling drugs out of the evidence locker and spent over a decade in federal prison.
How do you feel about the idea of getting pregnant/ birthing a child? this is not about being a parent but specifically about the biological process of pregnancy.
sounds like unreal terrifying body horror/can get pregnant
sounds like an incredible and awe-inspiring experience/can get pregnant
I feel neutral about this/can get pregnant
sounds like unreal terrifying body horror/can't get pregnant
sounds like an incredible and awe-inspiring experience/can't get pregnant
I feel neutral about/can't get pregnant
nuance/can get pregnant
nuance/can't get pregnant
see results
To everyone who sent me a boop while I was asleep and I can’t reciprocate anymore
To those of you who sent me an evil boop and I can’t avenge myself anymore
reblog this and boop the person you're reblogged it from
