Introduction: Freshmen - UC Personal Statement
The personal statement can make you or break you. Depending on whether you are applying for freshmen admission or transfer admission, the personal statement is a vital component of a successful UC application.
For freshmen, the personal statement makes up about half of the application. There are two prompts; one for all applicants, and one exclusively for freshmen -- both of which must not exceed 1,000 words.
Freshman applicant prompt:
Describe the world you come from â for example, your family, community or school â and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Prompt for all applicants:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
So, how does one write an effective personal statement? Aside from the givens -- be yourself, be honest, give yourself time to edit, and the other "no duh" pieces of advice -- here are some other helpful tips.
Remember the personal statement... should be personal. If it makes you uncomfortable to share it with others, then you're on the right track. You are the main topic, not somebody else. But this shouldn't hold you back from allowing others (definitely those close to you) to give you feedback.
From my experience, those around me viewed the personal statement as an autobiographical essay. Don't look at it from these lens. I always thought of the personal statement as an argumentative essay. So, instead of writing from the perspective of "What do they want to hear? What will impress them?" -- show them.
Deliberately think about what your UC Personal Statements will discuss. Write about what you believe is the most important thing that admissions officers should know about you. Not what you think admissions officers want to hear.
Pretend the personal statement is an admissions interview. That is really what it is. You're portraying yourself through words to your hiring manager (the UCs) while hoping you get the job (admission). With that being said, your personal statement should be cohesive. It should flow freely while painting a mental picture of yourself for your audience.Â
Extending number four, the personal statement is not your average essay. Avoid generalizations. Stop using your "gargantuan" (big) Â vocabulary. Your essay is your voice. You do not speak like that in normal life (or at least I hope you don't). You want to portray yourself as a genuine, likable applicant.Do you seem like someone that they would want to meet in real life?
Think about how you got to where you are today and what experiences, individuals, etc. had the most impact on the
development of your educational and career goals. What are the significant experiences that brought you here? How are they
related? How did one experience lead to the next stage of your journey? By writing from this perspective, you demonstrate
self-awareness. Self-awareness is a key indicator of intelligence.
How you write your statement makes the difference between a strong and weak essay. I mean, let's take a look at these two sentences:
1. "The cat is big. The cat went to the store. The cat went home."
2. The giant cat could not move, but he finally got up and went to the store. But, he was immediately bewildered; there were aliens everywhere -- humans. Unaware of who these aliens were, he finally scurried home.Â
What I'm trying to say is, mix up your sentences. Schools stopped teaching grammar, but they really shouldn't have. Varying your syntax is imperative. When was the last time you used a semicolon (;) or a long dash (--)? Do you integrate telegraphic sentences in your writing? How about, parantheses?
Varying your sentences, makes someone natural engaging. People who talk like sentence #1 can often be boring and monotone. There is dynamism in sentence #2, and a successful personal statement eloquently weaves sentences in this balanced manner.
The strongest Personal Statements are those that clearly demonstrate who you are as an individual. They are written from
both the mind and the heart. Write from the authenticity of who you are and the truth of your life experiences.
Consider the following for topics or ideas:
â˘Â Personal triumphs or challenges â If you decide to talk about a challenge or triumph, do not forget to explain what you
learned from the experience.
⢠Leadership opportunities â UCs value leadership at many
levels (e.g. family, school, or community).
⢠Experiences outside the classroom â Consider experiences
that have made an impact on your life (e.g., travels,
church/temple, work, youth groups, or your family).
⢠Disabilities â If you are living with a disability, feel free to
talk about it in the context of your ability to succeed.
⢠Culture â If your culture has influenced who you are, talk
about it. Let it add to the picture the UCs form of you.
Stay focused. Avoid common mistakes such as:
⢠Inappropriate use of humor.
⢠Creative writing (poems, scene setting, or clichÊs).
⢠Quotations âThey want to know your thoughts and words, not
someone elseâs.
⢠Generalities â Stick to facts and specifics you want UCs to
know about yourself.
⢠Repetition â Do not talk about the same topic in each
response. Give them new information we cannot find in other
sections of the application.
⢠Lists of accomplishments or activities.
⢠Philosophy â Do describe your world in facts and examples.
Donât ask questions without answers.
⢠Donât be campus specific. Youâre talking to all the UC
campuses in your response.
The strongest Personal Statements are those that clearly demonstrate who you are as an individual. They are written from
both the mind and the heart. Write from the authenticity of who you are and the truth of your life experiences.
All UC campuses use the Personal Statement responses for scholarship consideration.
* The Personal Statement will never be the sole criteria for determining the admission decision.
*Good luck! I am writing my personal statements this season for transfer, so if you have any questions -- please ask!Â