We know the children, when they become padawan, are taken very young from their family/parents. But does that mean no parents have like, idk, the right to visit while they're learning? And do the jedi, when they're adults, can meet their family? I know they've been taught not to be attached but, as an adopted child, I cannot imagine there isn't at least a few jedi who want to know where they came from.
No, parents aren’t allowed to check on their kids (unless they are super rich) but the children are allowed to know where they came from. But that doesn’t mean they were allowed to visit their biological families or have any attachments.
“After the Jedi Masters decided that it was too dangerous to train anyone familiar with fear, anger, and any other emotion that might lead to the dark side, it was agreed that Force-sensitive juveniles, adolescents, and adults would no longer be eligible for enlistment or conscription. Instead, they sought out and adopted Force-sensitive infants who would be raised and trained at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant; to prevent any emotional attachments that might cloud judgment, most recruits would never have any subsequent contact with their families.” Ryder’s Windham’s Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force
The children were removed from their families very young to keep them from forming relationships with them. so, no, Jedi did not allow their members to keep contact with their biological families. the most obvious example of this is Anakin Skywalker and the fact he was not allowed to visit his mother even he was plagued by nightmares and visions of her dying. Even the fact he had such desires – to visit his mom – was a reason for worry. The Council, and his peers, viewed him as unique and dangerous from having such ‘unusual’ reaction to his biological family.
The no contact rule was also reinforced on the parents side. After Shmi spent a lot of time and energy trying to get in contact with the Jedi Temple on Coruscant to hear news from her son, her only answer was:
An administrator on Coruscant had finally replied to Shmi’s ’Net message: Anakin was well, but the Jedi did not discuss the activities of their Padawans even with parents. [Troy Denning. Tatooine Ghost ]
The only parent I can think of that got news about their Jedi child was Vox Chun, the wealthy and influential father of a deceased padawan.
Mace Windu placed his hands on the arms of his chair. “We have received a communication from Vox Chun, Bruck Chun’s father.” Obi-Wan gave a start. Qui-Gon was just as surprised. “He has recently been pardoned of his crimes against the state on Telos,” Mace Windu continued. “Now he wishes to come to the Temple to receive a report on the death of his son. This is his right, and the Council has agreed.” Obi-Wan nodded. [Jude Watson. Deceptions]
Not even Baby Ludi’s mother who had her child taken without permission was allowed to know about her baby’s situation:
“JEDI TEMPLE, CORUSCANT – Three weeks after a formal petition, the Jedi Council refused to hand over Baby Ludi to her mother, Jonava Billane. Breaking the Jedi Council’s usual silence on the issue, a representative issued an explanation of the Jedi Code that forbids the return of the child to its birth-parent.“We have opened the child’s mind to the larger world of the Force,” explained Jedi Master Coleman Trebor. “The child is awakened, and to return it to the birth-parents at this stage would be far too dangerous. It is in everyone’s best interests and safety for the child to remain in Jedi custody.”
That doesn’t mean Jedi younglings can’t know about their birth place. Many Jedi were allowed to keep certain traditions from their homeworlds. What they couldn’t do was to bond with their families over it. Like Ahsoka, she could wear her Akul-tooth headdress, a part of Togratans culture but she could form any sort of relationship with her biological family and remain a Jedi. Dooku is a another example of this, he knew he came from a wealthy family but he wasn’t allowed to anything about it until AFTER he left the Order.
“As most of you are aware, financial resources are at my disposal on my home-world, Serenno. While I would like to think my many years of devoted service to the Order disavows any notions that I am yielding to economic circumstances, I will enlighten those who don’t know me so well with a certain piece of wisdom that I have always found true: money creates as many problems as it does opportunities. It is my plan to return to Serenno and serve my people as a philanthropist. It is my last request as a Jedi Master that you respect my decision, as well as my privacy.”
The sad truth is that most Jedi didn’t worry about being forbidden to know and bond with their biological families because they were removed from them far too young to understand what they were missing. They were raised to believe the Jedi was their only ‘family’ so why would they want another one?
“Your upbringing was different from mine. You haven’t seen the things I have.” He looked down at her. “You don’t feel the kind of loss I do.” “No, that’s true,” she readily admitted. “I don’t.” Her tone softened from argumentative to curious. “What’s it like, to know your mother? To grow up with one?” Just know that it hurts. You’re better off without that hurt, Barriss. Nothing personal, but it’s kind of private. Even Jedi are entitled to a few small privacies. Even Padawans.” He forced a smile. “Anyway, that was a long time ago. Let’s see if our good guides think it’s safe for us to resume our journey […] She had never met such a thing as a conflicted Jedi. But then, she had never before met one who had been raised by his mother. [Alan Dean Foster. The Approaching Storm]
I asked him if he was thinking of his mother. He kept his eyes skyward as he answered, “No, I was thinking of yours.” His tone was not unkind or antagonistic, but I did sense a certain tension in his words. I asked why he was thinking of my mother, and he said, fixing me with an expression that indicated his answer was obvious, “Because someone should.” [Ryder’s Windham’s Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force]
That’s why they had such hard time understanding WHY being apart from Shmi was so distressing for Anakin and why they saw Anakin’s bond with her as a danger, instead of a strength.
Palpatine always did have a soft spot for Anakin … and there was a part of Anakin that would always need emotional ties. Having lost his mother and Qui-Gon—and then being denied Padmé—of course he’d turned to Palpatine. A benign, uncritical father figure. A source of unconditional support. Anakin had come to the Temple years too late for anything or anyone to undo his need for love. And what cannot be cured must be endured. [Karen Miller’s Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]
They were simply not used to the concept of familial relationships. For them, it’s a pathway to evil, something to be avoid. Not something to be nurtured.
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