Beyond the Struggle

Sometimes to improve our well-being we just need to share them with others. Due to the nature of my work and my life in general, I am unable to share most things with my friends as it is too much for them. So writing them on the internet for who knows who to read is the next best thing right?I hope my experiences can help you find your own coping methods while you share a laugh, tear or 12 hour nap with me. 

[beyondthestruggle]

What if you suddenly found yourself not needing any sleep at all? What would you do with your newfound time?

What if you suddenly found yourself not needing any sleep at all? What would you do with your newfound time?

I actually find this question really hard to answer, because in a sense, all I know in my life is the routine of sleep needs to fit in somewhere. I think if I no longer needed to sleep at all, then I would work more to be able to earn more because if I never slept, I guarantee you my spending would increase. If we don’t sleep anymore – do we still feel exhausted, do we still need a ‘rest’…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if your days had 25 hours instead of the current 24? What would you do with the extra hour?

What if your days had 25 hours instead of the current 24? What would you do with the extra hour?

I feel like the most common answer to this question would be ‘sleep more’. What I find when I am working 12 hour shifts is that an extra hour in that day would most likely be sleep, but then it could also include an extra hour of awake time in which I could have had a nap then gone out for dinner, or I could have had someone visit me knowing that I would still get my essential 7 hours sleep…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if you learned that you were going to be blind within a year? What are the things you would still want to see?

What if you learned that you were going to be blind within a year? What are the things you would still want to see?

My first step would be making sure my life was set up so that I could still experience the power of books, music and ongoing usability in my household devices. I would want to sit at the ocean and watch the waves. Go to the theatre and watch the latest musicals. The ballet and watch the intricacy which people can move – even though I don’t really like ballet. I would spend all the time I could…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if people came with a caution label? How would yours read?

What if people came with a caution label? How would yours read?

Caution: Broken and bruised, varying moods and emotional states. Extremely caring, heart on the sleeve and incredibly stubborn. I feel that my caution label is just that, a caution, enter at your own risk. I often inadvertently tell people when they first start getting to know me, that I have layers, they’re not always going to be easy to peel off, and at times might be tricky for both of us.…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if you could change one of your personal traits? How would that change alter your personality and your life?

What if you could change one of your personal traits? How would that change alter your personality and your life?

I feel like this one cuts real deep to the core. When I think about one thing that I’d like to change about myself, I can’t put my finger on what that one thing is, but instead, I go into this deep spiral of imaginings about who I wish I was instead, and I don’t think that’s limited to just one personality trait. I wish I could be the type of person that people feel comfortable with. I wish I…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if you could return to one place right now, out of all the places you have been? Where would you go?

What if you could return to one place right now, out of all the places you have been? Where would you go?

Ironically, the one place I want to go, I don’t exactly know where I was. I was somewhere between Chiang Mai and the border of Laos in Asia. I had been travelling on a bus that was to transport us from one location to another, we spent probably a good part of 1-2 days on this bus. We saw lots of sites and wonderful places. But the one place I’m thinking of, in particular, we had pulled up on the…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if you could live for two hundred years? How would you live differently?

What if you could live for two hundred years? How would you live differently?

Firstly, would you want to? Secondly, would the age progression still be the same, like would reaching 50, be more like reaching 100? In my theoretical situation, I would imagine that I would live life at a much slower rate, knowing that I have double to triple the time to do the things I want to do. I could put my master’s on hold and do it later on in my life after living through some more…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if you learned you were going deaf within a year? What are the things you would still want to hear?

What if you learned you were going deaf within a year? What are the things you would still want to hear?

I would want to listen to all the music, the comedy shows, my friend’s voices and anything that I can’t immediately add subtitles to and still enjoy. I wouldn’t waste my time on tv or movies because they would still have a similar effect with subtitles. I definitely wouldn’t waste my time on audiobooks because you can still read. I would sit at the beach for hours listening to the sound of the…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if you could travel back in time to your earliest childhood memory? What do you see?

What if you could travel back in time to your earliest childhood memory? What do you see?

My earliest childhood memory is of me standing in one of those portable bassinet things, standing on the edge holding on with both hands asking to be let out. I remember being surrounded by people, I’m assuming is my extended family, at an evening BBQ. If I could travel back and experience this, I would appreciate the context of why I, a 4-year-old is in a portable bassinet, and the context to…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if you could snap your fingers and become a child again for just 24 hours? How would you spend that day?

What if you could snap your fingers and become a child again for just 24 hours? How would you spend that day?

Someone asked me earlier this year, “when was the last time you were happy?”. I think I would spend my 24hours as a child, experiencing what it means to be happy. As a child, I assume that concept is easier to experience and come by than as an adult when your whole life just feels like an endless list of problems. As a child, I would want to experience that day completely as a child. To include…

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[beyondthestruggle]

When to stop being a doormat..

When to stop being a doormat..

The last few months have been an interesting time for me. It started out with making what was potentially a rushed decision to take on a roommate. I had been living by myself for 18 months after a terrible run of living situations in living in bad houses, with bad people who made questionable life decisions before enough was enough. I was thankfully in a position where I was more financially…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if a dying relative left you one million dollars in their will, to spend it on only one charity? Which charity would you donate to?

What if a dying relative left you one million dollars in their will, to spend it on only one charity? Which charity would you donate to?

This is a hard one for me because I feel that there are so many worthy things that could do with the money and not being able to divide it makes it quite hard. I would have to send my vote towards the Scarlett May Foundation. The founders of this charity are close to me, while I don’t know them personally my best friend is closely connected with them. But more than that, it is a charity that…

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[beyondthestruggle]

What if you could stop one thing you do everyday? What would you eliminate?

What if you could stop one thing you do everyday? What would you eliminate?

When I thought about the possibility of the things I could eliminate, I immediately started listing off all the things that I do to procrastinate, waste time, or that I put off that I know I should do. Sleeping longer than necessary, making excuses to not exercise, making excuses to put off doing my washing or cleaning for another day. It became a list of what I don’t do that I know I should,…

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A vessel of what once was…

A vessel of what once was…

I’ve been struggling. I know it’s something I can’t hide. People who I thought didn’t pay attention have noticed. The real question isn’t “what’s the matter?”, but rather “why can’t I get back to normal?”. Originally it started out as wanting to listen more, observe more, and understand more of my surroundings, the people, the conversations, the unspoken. And instead of finding all those…

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[beyondthestruggle]

Your Environment Matters

I’m quite sure that I’ve posted about this before, but it’s something I am constantly reminded of, and feel that it’s worth sharing, even if I remind you every couple of months. Your environment impacts how you feel on a day to day, moment to moment basis. I recently decided to take on a housemate, the extra money will be nice, but my main reason is that I miss having the company. Although I…

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[beyondthestruggle]

$100/h Therapist vs free 5km walk

$100/h Therapist vs free 5km walk

I’ve recently discovered that my inner most deepest thoughts come flowing out when my feet hit the pavement and my songs play on repeat. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on courses and therapy sessions to help uncover who I am, why I am the way I am, and what traumatic events occurred in my childhood that has continued to play a part in my adulthood choices. A few things that I have…

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[beyondthestruggle]

On Vacation

Sometimes you just need a break. Sometimes you just need to log off, turn your phone off, get in the car and drive until your fuel light comes on. Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in your ‘life’, that you forget to actually live. I have a bad habit of seeking out ‘being needed’. Luckily for my workplace, they have become my latest obsession. Working 112 hour weeks, when there’s only 168…

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