Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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“A Righteous Burden”
The date July 22, 2009 is a date that I will never forget. It was a cloudy Wednesday afternoon and while I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to Pastor Ballard’s Bible study, I was excited about choir rehearsal because our choir director Mr. Hankinson had agreed to play a song that I composed myself. I’d been trying to get him to use one of my compositions since I began writing music. I wasn’t much of a gospel lyricist so Mr. Hankinson wrote words for the music, and they were amazing. I couldn’t wait to sing the song with the choir for the first time and I really couldn’t wait to sing it for the church that following Sunday. However, it wasn’t my music that made July 22, 2009 memorable. It turned out to be the day I experienced a miracle.
“You’re not gonna change my mind,” Kareem said to me while putting on his Jordans. “I’m done with school, Ant.”
“Why now?” I asked while looking at myself in the mirror to make sure my tie was on right. “Baby, why would you drop out of school right before our senior year?”
“Because it’s pointless. I’m not goin’ to college or doin’ anything important so I don’t see why I should waste my time.”
“So, being at school with me is a waste of your time?”
“That ain’t what I meant and you know it. Anthony, I’m just done with that shit. I’m done with it. I’m a grown ass man. Fuck…I mean, forget school. I got other stuff I need to be worried about.”
Kareem Taylor had been my boyfriend for a little over a year but we’d known each other since elementary school. He was my best friend up until sixth grade, which was when he began picking on me and hanging out with the bad boys at school. I later figured out he picked on me because he liked me and even though I liked him, too, neither of us built up the nerve to do anything about it until the end of our tenth-grade year. I wrote him a letter basically telling him that I wanted us to be boyfriends. He came to my house after school that day and gave me my first kiss. And just like that, we were together.
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Skeet
“Bad Habits 5: Karmic Square”
I admit I was lying through my teeth when I told Marcus that I had no hard feelings after he stole my girlfriend. The day I learned about him and Yvette was the worst day of my life. I loved that girl more than anything and for her to cheat on me with my coworker was beyond fucked up. Marcus wasn’t my friend and we didn’t hang out or even talk outside of work, but that didn’t lessen the hurt I was feeling. The thought of causing both of them physical harm crossed my mind but I couldn’t do some shit that would land me in prison. I threw my hands up and decided to just let karma deal with them but it seemed that karma needed my collaboration.
It all began one day after work. Marcus’s car was in the shop so his little brother had been coming to pick him up that week and I swear that boy couldn’t stop staring at me. His name was Darrion and Marcus talked about him to everybody. He was always going on about how his little brother was smart and had gotten into like thirty colleges or some shit. So, that one day after work while Darrion was waiting for Marcus to come out of the building, I approached him and had a little talk with him. Long story short, I exchanged info with him and that began my path to revenge.
“Y’all see this shit?” I asked my viewers on Instagram live as I showed off the room I was in. “This Airbnb spot lit as fuck, ain’t it? I got some shit comin’ up for those of you who have joined my new OnlyFans. The video will be up tomorrow, I promise. Shit is gonna be hot as fuck. I swear y’all don’t know a damn thing about me yet.”
I stopped recording and laughed to myself when I got a text from Darrion asking me for the Airbnb address. I texted it to him and then set my phone down before picking up my expensive camera and taking a test photo to make sure I had the lighting right in the room. With my cell phone, iPad camera and expensive Canon camera; I was going to capture the best footage for my first OnlyFans video with Darrion.
Me (Shemar Mitchell)
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“Serviced”
I noticed them looking at me the moment I came down the steps into the subway station. They were two gay dudes, somewhat feminine, and were dressed up like they’d just come from the club or something. Normally it bothered me when gay dudes checked me out but I’d had a few drinks in me and was chill enough to the point where I didn’t care how they were looking at me. When the train pulled up, we stepped in it and sat down across from each other. It was late so there weren’t many of us on there; just me, the two gay dudes and a couple of bums that were begging for money. I pulled out my phone and was about to see if one of my regular bitches were up when something wild happened.
“My friend wants to suck your dick,” said one of the gay dudes.
“Tito, I did not say that!” shouted the other. He then looked at me and said, “Don’t pay my friend any attention. He can’t handle his liquor. I’m so sorry.”
I nodded to let him know that it was cool and put my attention back on my phone. Once again, I’d normally get heated when shit like that happens but I don’t know what was up with me that night. I tried to keep my attention on my phone and the girl I was texting, but something kept making me look up at the two gay dudes. The one named Tito didn’t really notice me staring off and on, but the other one did. He kept looking at me but was doing it in a way that his friend wouldn’t notice. At one point while his friend was busy with his phone, I just stared at him and he stared back for the longest.
Me (Curtis)
Maybe it was the alcohol fucking with my head, but for some reason my dick was starting to get hard. I had never gotten hard before without seeing a sexy female first or at least thinking about one, so that shit was weird as fuck. I thought it would be one of those hard-ons that went down after a few seconds but nope, my shit was on brick and was staying like that. I tried thinking about random shit like basketball and my favorite type of pizza because usually random thoughts would kill my boners, but my dick was on some other level shit that night.
The train came to a stop at the next station and the one named Tito stood up and told him, “Goodnight, Ricky.”
“Goodnight, boo-boo,” he said back.
Ricky (left) & Tito (right)
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“B8ers”
I’d been friends with Kevon and Monell since third grade, so it was no surprise that the three of us went to the same college after high school. We lived in the same dorm on-campus for freshman year but the summer after, we got an apartment off-campus in this cool building with an indoor swimming pool and Jacuzzi. It was in the Jacuzzi one night that we discovered just how special our friendship with each other was. We were the only ones down there that night and it was late.
“DJ,” Monell said to me, “call up Carmen and see if some of her girls can come through.”
“Nah bruh,” I told him. “She went back home this weekend. She not coming back until classes start back up.”
“Damn, and she got that phat booty too.”
“Hey, chill out nigga. That’s my girl.”
“She do got ass though,” added Kevon.
“I see I’m gonna have to kick both y’all asses tonight.” I laughed and splashed water on Monell.
“I’m horny as fuck,” he said.
“When are you not horny?” asked Kevon with a laugh. “You’re too much of a horndog, bruh.”
“I be tellin’ him,” I said with a laugh. “I’m surprised he ain’t had to go to the clinic with as many chicks he be bringing back.”
“All my bitches be clean. Y’all niggas just hatin’ because I get pussy on top of pussy. Hatin’ ass niggas.” He climbed out of the water and we did the same, sitting on the edge with our feet in the water. “The most y’all niggas get is wrist sprains from jackin’ your dicks too much.”
left to right: Kevon, Me (DJ) & Monell
“At least I’m not spending all my money up on random chicks,” said Kevon. “It don’t cost shit to bust a nut by yourself.”
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