Gazing into Tumblr madness

[foxglovedforest]

MORE 👏 PERIODS 👏 IN 👏 FANTASY 👏

[brothermouse-skeleton]

"Periods? Oh no, we don't have those here."

"What do you mean you don't have them? You can't just not have them!"

"Well, we have them, we just send them away."

"SEND THEM AWAY? HOW? TO WHERE?"

"Settle down, it's very straightforward. When someone starts getting their period they go to the local witch or wizard or necromancer or whatever's nearby and get a spell placed on them. All the blood gets sent straight to the throne of the Blood King. Which is nice because he loves blood and isn't too picky about where it comes from. This way he's not running around starting wars for his blood. He gets it free and on a regular basis."

"But what about period cramps?"

"Oh, we send those away too. Off to the orcs of the Screaming Mountains."

"That seems like it could cause problems. Aren't you worried they'll retaliate?"

"Well, no. The orcs....kind of like it? They apparently like pain about as much as the Blood King likes blood. So as long as we keep sending the period cramps, they leave us be."

"huh, I wonder why more kingdoms haven't tried this."

"Probably because those other kingdoms have normal neighbors."

[charlesoberonn]

Turns out you can roll a 7 on a d6

but only once.

[skarchomp]

the fantasy lesbian adventurer is immune to the seductive evil sorceress's feminine wiles because she's butch4butch

[maxknightley]

this is exactly why any evil sorceress worth her salt keeps a towering knightgirl in gleaming black armor "on retainer"

[maxknightley]

well it's one of two reasons anyway

[shrugsinchinese]

Spite, the great motivator

[demermio]

HOPE

[talisidekick]

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

[patricia-taxxon]

i love explaining the etymology of the word "rickroll" because the story starts with "ok, so at one point 4chan applied a filter to everyone's posts that changed the word egg to duck"

[maple-cloak]

[wrenanigans]

[croaksac]

grandfather....

[soundclown]

[teethwreath]

[storm-of-feathers]

we don't credit rebecca sugar enough for making the episode with the first gay wedding in a kids show extremely plot relevant so it could not be skipped or cut.

[emeraldspiral]

#rebecca sugar has gone on record saying that they knew from the beginning they wanted ruby and sapphire and they put every inch of planning#in to make sure that the studio could not take them out. sugar has said they’d compromised on hundreds of things they’d wanted for steven#so that they had the bargaining power specifically to keep ruby and sapphire’s relationship#and a number of ‘filler’ episodes were created just to establish counter-arguments that might come up when they pitched the wedding episode#the one that comes to mind is the episode about steven and connie getting lost in rose’s room steven’s central conflict about liking their#fave book series’ romantic ending was later weaponised when producer’s were like ‘oh but steven’s a boy he won’t be too interested in them#getting married’ sugar was able to be like ‘no. in this episode it’s established he loves romance and specifically weddings. and in these#episodes it’s shown how much steven cares about ruby and sapphire and their relationship and happiness. you cannot convince me this is not#good and necessary plot development#and they wrapped it up in the season finale and the big climactic point of the diamonds finally coming to attack earth to make the#episode integral to the series no skipping it without confusion. and had ruby wear a wedding dress because international censors took#advantage of her design to give her a masculine va#and sugar made certain that everybody knew This was a queer love story that an entire town supported and admired and that any child watchin#it at home would know they are not alone and that that support is waiting for them out there somewhere#sugar sacrificed the wider story they wanted to tell for that and it was a horrible decision to be given but they made the right choice

[mollyjames]

*inserting new RAM into my 10 year old motherboard* "Shhh... hey, hey! It's okay girl. I didn't mean to startle you. I know it's been a little while. I've got a nice little treat for you here, okay? It's going to help you run smoother. There now, see? That wasn't so bad. I'm sorry girl. I didn't realize how much stress I've been putting you under, streaming Elden Ring with only 8 GB of memory... No wonder you're having trouble with Baldur's Gate 3. You've been doing so good though. I know you'll probably have to go soon, but we still got a few good years left. Hopefully this will help ease any pain you've been feeling. I'm going to put the cover back on the case now, okay? I love you."

[mollyjames]

Girls are you okay?

[depsidase]

[postillfastill]

I think the best tumblr interaction I've ever had was when i replied to some post and referred to bigots with cute cartoon icons as "picrew racists" and this other person materialized out of NOWHERE to call me ableist and queerphobic because most people who use picrew are neurodivergent and nonbinary people. I was like, "i don't think that's true and also I am neurodivergent nonbinary people, what the fuck are you talking about", and they said VER BATIM "classic DARVO tactic" and were like why don't you just call me a slur or threaten me with violence since you're such an abuser or whatever, and I was like "I WAS JUST SAYING ITS FUNNY WHEN A BAD PERSON HAS A CUTE CARTOON ICON" and they immediately DM'd me their ENTIRE LEGAL STREET ADDRESS so I could doxx them or hurt them or something since I "clearly wanted to." Like that fast, like 2-3 replies. Pure unadulterated tumblr condensed into such a succinct exchange. 🤌 can't get that anywhere else baby.

[kentodreaming]

grace essentially proposing a dozen times in eridian culture and rocky is sweating like "does he know what hes doing or am i fumbling BAD rn"

[eebie]

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

[elvis-shrimpley]

Woah mama I hate reblog bait that's triggering for people with OCD. Hummina hummina you don't have to reblog a post to be supportive of people, mama

[picascribit]

There are 2 types of fanfic:

fanfic that I like

fanfic that is none of my business

[william-s-churros]

i think i saw a movie like this once

[maidslime]

Ok I needed to know the story and

Guy makes a really stupid decision and gets in a car accident -> no real damage from accident but insurance goes up -> starts beating himself up over his stupid decision -> gets depressed -> starts to realize he's single and had crash been worse he'd die alone -> realizes he's never had a relationship or even a crush and starts wondering what he'd want out of a relationship -> starts to realize he doesn't really like girls so he thinks he must be gay -> realizes he likes girls and boys about the same amount, so he must be bi -> later realizes that "same amount" is none at all -> he's ace