I swear I’m not dead. Just kinda wish I was lmao
School has been way too difficult to keep up with and I’ve never been in this kind of mental state so we’re trying to cope with that as well.
I feel like I’m having a quarter and mid life crisis at the same time while also being in the middle of a huge identity crisis.
I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, I feel like everything I have done up until now has been a complete waste of time and resources, I’m pretty sure I’ve developed several different versions of myself and I’ve lost the real one among them, and I’ve never felt this lost or empty in all my life.
Time no longer has any meaning, drūgs are my only escape from reality (don’t do drūgs kids), and I’m going to have to face myself again head on very soon here. I can’t find a reason to wake up anymore and I refuse to address my issues due to extreme panic that sets in whenever I try to deal with problems that affect me greatly. Even just typing this, I’m freaking out.
I am in constant physical pain and have been unable to stop dry heaving pretty much every night from 7-8:30 pm for about 5 weeks now. Should I go to a doctor? Maybe. But I won’t because I don’t want to be hospitalized either.
But I’m alive so it’s fine lmaooooo