@bilgeruled says ;
“If you had just said the word, I would’ve joined you. In a heartbeat.”
𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐌 , expression one difficult to place. it spoke of all sorts of emotion ; of fondness, of regret, of longing — but it ends only in a solemn certainty.
❝ this, I know. ❞ she says in a sigh, and for a moment her eyes close. even now, he remains in a fond place in her heart, regardless of what has happened since. ❝ but i know better, Gangplank. you would not be moving forward, if you had been beside me. Perhaps, I am part of your desire, yes — but as it were, to bind yourself to me … that is not the motion meant for your life. it would draw to a slow && terrible halt. My goddess has shown you the way forward. ❞
she pauses, and her tone is just a little lighter. ❝ turn your focus forward, love, not backward.❞
He wants to let the rage spit out. Make an example, like he always does. A show of FORCE, but he doesn’t. Not with her. Not with the one person who saw more in him than he saw in himself. He wants to shout her down, claim she never cared —
But he knows it’s the furthest thing from the truth. The blame for who and what he became, it’s his fault and his alone. It would be easy to cast blame, place it onto Illaoi. But truthfully? HE LOVED HER TOO MUCH. It wasn’t ever her fault.
But that word. ‘Love’. It STUNG. He snaps back, words unapologetic and brazen directed towards the Truth-Bearer. He had supported her choice to become dedicated to her Goddess, but the damage was still done. The impact from what she did, even if he moved on, was still present. PAIN manifested in his words, a fire raging behind his eyes. ❝ DON’T CALL ME THAT. YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE. ❞
He stops himself. He lets the bitter silence remain after the bark. The absent stare that follows as his face; she knows it. Knows him better than anyone. It’s not anger, rage, upset. It was HURT. Gangplank, as much terror as the name invoked, never resented Illaoi for her decision even at the cost of himself. He holds his tongue, refusing to say anything which he knew would cut her.
❝ THERE’S NOT BUT HATE FOR ME IN BILGEWATER. AND YET I’VE STAYED. THIS IS MY PATH FORWARD. I WILL BE KING. ❞
There’s a long silence. Looking over the water, he lowers his tone. she’s the one soul he refuses to let his anger or impulse harm. ❝ You’re right.❞ His words are softer, and he gives her a look. Pained, despite hidden behind a mask of fierceness and stoicism.
❝ I WOULDN’T HAVE MOVED FORWARD, I’D HAVE HALTED IN MY TRACKS. STAYED FROM THE PATH I NOW WALK. I WOULD’VE STAYED, JUST AS I WAS. JUDGE ME. SCOLD ME FOR IT. BUT I... ❞ He stops himself, a slurry of swears and curses leave under his breath and yet he refuses to lash out at her. But it isn’t hard to tell what he was going to say. He was happy.
