He wants to let the rage spit out. Make an example, like he always does. A show of FORCE, but he doesn’t. Not with her. Not with the one person who saw more in him than he saw in himself. He wants to shout her down, claim she never cared —
But he knows it’s the furthest thing from the truth. The blame for who and what he became, it’s his fault and his alone. It would be easy to cast blame, place it onto Illaoi. But truthfully? HE LOVED HER TOO MUCH. It wasn’t ever her fault.
But that word. ‘Love’. It STUNG. He snaps back, words unapologetic and brazen directed towards the Truth-Bearer. He had supported her choice to become dedicated to her Goddess, but the damage was still done. The impact from what she did, even if he moved on, was still present. PAIN manifested in his words, a fire raging behind his eyes. ❝ DON’T CALL ME THAT. YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE. ❞
He stops himself. He lets the bitter silence remain after the bark. The absent stare that follows as his face; she knows it. Knows him better than anyone. It’s not anger, rage, upset. It was HURT. Gangplank, as much terror as the name invoked, never resented Illaoi for her decision even at the cost of himself. He holds his tongue, refusing to say anything which he knew would cut her.
❝ THERE’S NOT BUT HATE FOR ME IN BILGEWATER. AND YET I’VE STAYED. THIS IS MY PATH FORWARD. I WILL BE KING. ❞
There’s a long silence. Looking over the water, he lowers his tone. she’s the one soul he refuses to let his anger or impulse harm. ❝ You’re right.❞ His words are softer, and he gives her a look. Pained, despite hidden behind a mask of fierceness and stoicism.
❝ I WOULDN’T HAVE MOVED FORWARD, I’D HAVE HALTED IN MY TRACKS. STAYED FROM THE PATH I NOW WALK. I WOULD’VE STAYED, JUST AS I WAS. JUDGE ME. SCOLD ME FOR IT. BUT I… ❞ He stops himself, a slurry of swears and curses leave under his breath and yet he refuses to lash out at her. But it isn’t hard to tell what he was going to say. He was happy.
SHE IS UNIMPRESSED. he barks, but there is no bite. even if there were, she would be equally as impassive. at the end of it all, she UNDERSTANDS, but it is not her duty to alleviate him of this pain. she only inhales deeply, slow & calm as her stare burns into him, even as he looks away from her.
❝ there was, && continues to be more at work for you. ❞ she speaks after a long pause. ❝ i have made my choice, yes, to stand by my purpose. BUT ... ❞ another pause, contemplative as the slow in & exhales she took were drowned by the natural sound around them. she brings herself closer to him — never touching, never reaching — but presence felt nonetheless.
❝ my care for you remains. you ask for what i cannot give, for it would be an affront to all i know. you cannot remain, our fates cannot be tied by knot, but this fact never implied you were without my affection. ❞ head tilts. she knows as well this still would not satisfy him, not fully. perhaps she could only HOPE.