YOU KNOW THAT PENDRAGON DOESN'T EVEN SMELL LIKE MUCH? HE'S A SUBSCRIBER TO "SUBTLE" FRAGRANCES. YOU'RE NEVER GONNA TURN HEADS THAT WAY!
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@bill-cipher-offical
YOU KNOW THAT PENDRAGON DOESN'T EVEN SMELL LIKE MUCH? HE'S A SUBSCRIBER TO "SUBTLE" FRAGRANCES. YOU'RE NEVER GONNA TURN HEADS THAT WAY!
IF WE DESTROY PENDRAGON I WILL RELEASE NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN IMAGES OF ME TRYING ON DIFFERENT KINDS OF HEELS
AND MAKE FORDSY TRY 'EM
I did not agree to this!
OH, YEAH? WHAT’S THIS THEN?
We both know that that is not my handwriting.
WHAAAAAAAAT? IT TOTALLY IS! I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
My handwriting is not angular.
BETTER?
I’m still not agreeing.
PHOOEY.
IF WE DESTROY PENDRAGON I WILL RELEASE NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN IMAGES OF ME TRYING ON DIFFERENT KINDS OF HEELS
AND MAKE FORDSY TRY 'EM
I did not agree to this!
OH, YEAH? WHAT’S THIS THEN?
We both know that that is not my handwriting.
WHAAAAAAAAT? IT TOTALLY IS! I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
My handwriting is not angular.
BETTER?
IF WE DESTROY PENDRAGON I WILL RELEASE NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN IMAGES OF ME TRYING ON DIFFERENT KINDS OF HEELS
AND MAKE FORDSY TRY 'EM
I did not agree to this!
OH, YEAH? WHAT’S THIS THEN?
We both know that that is not my handwriting.
WHAAAAAAAAT? IT TOTALLY IS! I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
IF WE DESTROY PENDRAGON I WILL RELEASE NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN IMAGES OF ME TRYING ON DIFFERENT KINDS OF HEELS
AND MAKE FORDSY TRY 'EM
I did not agree to this!
OH, YEAH? WHAT’S THIS THEN?
IF WE DESTROY PENDRAGON I WILL RELEASE NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN IMAGES OF ME TRYING ON DIFFERENT KINDS OF HEELS
AND MAKE FORDSY TRY 'EM
shitty propaganda but propaganda nonetheless
I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT A CERTAIN OWNER OF A MOVING CASTLE’S TEETH AREN’T EVEN CLOSE TO SHARP. HE’S SO USED TO BEING CODDLED THAT HE WOULDN’T EVEN BE GOOD AT RENDING THE SUCCULENT FLESH OF PREY ANIMALS!
Wait, Howl’s still in the running?
...Want me to scatter his atoms?
TEMPTING, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE THAT WOULD GET ME DISQUALIFIED
HOWSABOUT I SHOW A PICTURE OF ME WITH MY HAT LONGER THAN EVER BEFORE? HOW ABOUT TWO OF THEM?
I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT A CERTAIN OWNER OF A MOVING CASTLE’S TEETH AREN’T EVEN CLOSE TO SHARP. HE’S SO USED TO BEING CODDLED THAT HE WOULDN’T EVEN BE GOOD AT RENDING THE SUCCULENT FLESH OF PREY ANIMALS!
HE'S BORING AS FUCK AND MAXIMALIST! HE WOULD WANT TO KEEP HIS TRINKETS IN YOUR ROOM! HE DOESN'T EVEN SLEEP IN HIS MAIN BED, THAT ONE'S FOR DECORATION!
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 27
Arthur Cervero (Ordem Paranormal)
Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls & The Book of Bill)
Howl Jenkins Pendragon (Howl’s Moving Castle)
Bill art by @spoonyspine
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WE HAD OUR FUN! NOW STOP VOTING FOR THAT FAKER OF A WIZARD
CHECK IT OUT! FULL COLOR SPECTRUM FOR PRIDE MONTH! FIRE! ARMS! POWER! WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?
I'M JUST SAYIN', IT FEELS A BIT UNFAIR THAT HOWL IS WINNING WHILE HIS LITTLE LOVE INTEREST WAS COMPLETELY SKIPPED OVER FOR THE SEXYWOMAN CONTEST
LOOK AT THIS. NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! WAAAAAY HOTTER THAN MR BLOND BOB
WHY YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS FOR NOT VOTING FOR ME: THE ESSAY
POINT 1: I'M SMART AND INTELLIGENCE IS ATTRACTIVE. SAME WITH POWER. I'M ALSO POWERFUL. YA EVER SEEN SOMEONE IMPLODE A PLANET WITH ALL THEIR EYES SHUT?
POINT 2: CHECK OUT THESE ANGLES. PERFECT! EVERY! SINGLE! ONE!
POINT 3: I'M ADORABLE AND EASY TO DRAW
POINT 4: I CAN PLAY 127 DIFFERENT INSTRUMENTS TO SERENADE JUST ABOUT ANY BEING WITH THE CAPACITY FOR AUDITORY STIMULATION (AND EVEN SOME WITHOUT!)
POINT 5: I WILL GIFT YOU RATS AND WEAR A SUIT COVERED IN BABIES TO ANY DATES
POINT 6: I'VE BEEN COLLECTING SMELLS SINCE BEFORE YOUR DINOSAUR AGE. TAKE A WHIFF! PRETTY SEXY, RIGHT?
POINT 7: I'M MARKETABLE AND RICH!
WHO NEEDS TO BUY GOLD WHEN YOU'RE PRACTICALLY MADE OF IT, AMIRITE?
POINT 8: LI BRX GRQ'W YRWH IRU PH L VZHDU WR KLUVFK BRX'OO ZDWFK WKH ZRUOG BRX NQRZ DQG VHHP WR HQMRB WXUQ LQWR QRWKLQJ EXW PDJJRWV
AND FOR THE MONSTERFUCKERS AMONG US, CHECK IT OUT! TEETH FOR DAYS!
SO VOTE FOR ME, BILL CIPHER, AS THE SEXIEST MAN ON TUMBLR FOR THE SECOND TIME!
@sexy-people-contests-2026 @sexy-people-contests-2
what about howl?
HOWL CAN EAT MUSTARD ON TOAST
*I* WOULDN'T TURN INTO GOO IF I ACCIDENTALLY DYED MY HAIR THE WRONG COLOR.
JUST SAYIN'
...You. You don’t have hair-
SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW
Hey I still think you deserve the title of tumblr Sexyman! Just stateing you don't have hair. S’far as I know. Do you have hair under that hat?
NO. HAIR IS FOR LOSERS. I HAVE TASTEFUL EYELASHES AND FUZZY ARMS
*I* WOULDN'T TURN INTO GOO IF I ACCIDENTALLY DYED MY HAIR THE WRONG COLOR.
JUST SAYIN'
...You. You don’t have hair-
SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW
OH, WHAT? I'M TOO SEXY? I WOULD WRECK THE WHOLE COMPETITION? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY BY KEEPING THE POLLS SKEWED? TRYING TO GET ME OUT IN THE FIRST ROUND?