Unstoppable Smythe

Bill Smythe, 56, Ivy Books & More, New York City, NY The Unstoppable Smythe

[billthesmythe]

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[billthesmythe]

Should old acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind Should old acquaintance be forgot And auld lang syne For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We'll take a cup of kindness yet For auld lang syne We two have paddled in the brook From morning sun till dine But seas between us broad have roared Since auld lang syne For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We'll take a cup of kindness yet For auld lang syne And there's a hand my trusty friend And give us a hand o' thine We'll take a cup of kindness yet For auld lang syne For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We'll take a cup of kindness yet For auld lang syne

Auld Lang Syne- The Tenors

[billthesmythe]

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[billthesmythe]

Dad/Sebastian Texts 12/21

Sebastian: Yes, but I was more trying to say that Blaine isn't just interested in the world, he thinks from a global perspective. It comes from his upbringing, and Dalton. He's a world citizen, not just an American allied with other nations. For me it comes from growing up partially in Paris, I think his comes from his great empathy, which is about to be expressed in his music and performances.

Sebastian: I'd rather be called out less often and more gently. I don't blame Jay for getting frustrated or walking away when he had to - that's why I didn't feel abandoned. But I found Blaine to be have more forbearance and to be more soothing, even when he had no reason to be. If I were Jay I would have gotten frustrated, too. Blaine just didn't get frustrated as easily. As you said, he needs to be needed, so he tries harder than other people to forgive and understand.

Sebastian: Especially recently, but even before that, on some level it always felt like Hunter needed me too much. It's something I've been worried about with Blaine, but I want to give it chance. The important difference is, except at the end, Hunter could never tell me he needed me. Probably because I didn't give him much to encourage him. Blaine and I could speak easily from the first hour we met.

Sebastian: Hah, sorry to confuse. He's shown me online that he likes me, that he's attracted. But offline, in person, he only did for a second before the stuff with his store went down. I think that he'll be happy that me and this guy are the same person, but only after I've shown him that the offline me is worth being happy about. We have to get reacquainted.

Sebastian: Yes, and yes. I think that's enough.

Sebastian: Just listening is good, no advice needed. Just promise me you won't get cold feet, that you'll end things with Gillian. The sooner the better, so Mattie never remembers you being together.

Sebastian: I'll FaceTime you on Christmas Eve.

Bill: That is interesting. I wonder if he has his own connections, perhaps through family, to other places in the world as well.

Bill: Which he has shown you in the past. And you are hoping to find from him again.

Bill: It's a bit of a paradox. You want to be needed, but not too much. It is strange, Hunter doesn't exactly come off as needy. But he did come to you when he literally had no one else.

Bill: He's told online you that he's attracted to real life you? This whole thing is making my head spin. If this is what online dating is like, I don't think I'm ready for it.

Bill: So when you were... acquainted and friendly before, what sorts of things would you talk about? What would you do? This was when he had the boyfriend you didn't like right?

Bill: True, it is enough. If he's as genuine and empathetic as you say though, it probably won't be too much.

Bill: I won't get cold feet on that part. I need it just as much as Mattie does.

Bill: But speaking of cold feet... I do like hearing, or I guess, reading is more accurate, that you might want to get married. I have to say I wondered if I'd completely disillusioned you to that notion.

Bill: Mattie, Grandfather, Annabelle and I will look forward to it.

[billthesmythe]

Dad/Sebastian Texts 12/21

Sebastian: Yes, Jay and Hunt have more local roots, Jay is very Californian. and Hunt with his military background has grounded him into a more domestic sensibility. They aren't provincial by any means, they are up on world news and are interested in other cultures. But for Blaine and I, I think we are looking at the world /from/ a global position, rather than looking out at the world from a U.S. perspective. It's the reason why New York sits well for us. It's a city of the world, not just a city in the U.S.

Sebastian: Damn, that was a ramble

Sebastian: I mean since he's more dependent on his friendships/relationships, he needs the people in his life more. So he's willing to put up with more from them, because he needs their support, their companionship, etc. more. People who are more independent are happier on their own, so they don't need to put up with the bullshit I dish out sometimes. Jay would just walk away sometimes. He'd always come back, but it was harder on me than I wanted to admit. Again, I think I like feeling a little more needed. Maybe a therapist would tell me that /I/ need to be more independent, but I think at this age I'm getting to be pretty much what I'm going to be, on some level. If I waited until I was a more unselfish, magnanimous and emotionally intelligent, I might not get married until I was sixty.

Sebastian: I don't know if he has a crush on the real me, but he's definitely given me the heart eyes online. It's all completely anonymous, except there was one night where recently when we planned to meet in person and he didn't see me but I looked through the window of the coffee shop and saw that it was him. I had to make excuses to give me time to get my bearings. I think the next day is when I started asking you about your experiences with forgiveness.

Sebastian: I appreciate your support with all this. I figured you wouldn't bite on the dating service but it was worth a shot. I also just wanted to plant the seed. Some night I'll help you make a dating profile. More importantly, I'll help you sort through if there's anyone worth asking out. You're a catch, Pops - your problem has maybe been not being discerning enough. We'll figure it out

Sebastian: I'm going to be a little spotty here - I should finish my packing.

Bill: So he's the kind of man that would not just tag along on your adventures, but find his own too?

Bill: So you'd rather someone that calls you out on the behavior than walk away? Because it feels less like... abandonment... maybe?

Bill: It almost sounds like Blaine might be someone who also needs to be needed. Maybe that is a good thing, that you are similar that way. Maybe your need to be needed, is in part a missing of something from your relationship with Hunter.

Bill [deleted]: Do you want to get married? In general? Or more specifically some in particular?

Bill: Given online you heart eyes? Or real you heart eyes to online you? How do you think he will feel when he finds out it's you?

Bill: Because you want him to forgive you for what happened with his grandmother's store. And because you've secretly been his online friend? Anything else?

Bill: I wish I had more, better, advice to give you. I'm happy to help where I can. Alright. We can discuss this after the holidays, and when Gillian is officially gone. Enjoy your time with your mother and the holiday.

[billthesmythe]

Dad/Sebastian Texts 12/21

Sebastian: Exactly. He's an artist: a performer, a song writer and an actor. I think he only ran that store to honor his grandmother, and to back off from performing because his ex-fiance was threatened by his success

Sebastian: I hadn't thought about how he's like mom. Their artistic sensibility is actually rather similar. I suppose there's an Oedipal joke to be made but I don't care.

Sebastian: I have definitely compared him to Jay. It's interesting to compare. They are both artists, both were scarred early on by bad relationships. Both are people pleasers, but Jay less than Blaine. Both smart and well- educated, but Blaine is more worldly in experience while Jay is more well read/cerebral.

Sebastian: I think part of what would never work long term for me and Jay is that he's too independent. I think I want someone who needs me more. Not too much, but more than Jay needs me. Jay also has less patience with my nonsense, my faults. He forgives, but he can get frustrated. Blaine has been through more trauma than Jay - he was hospitalized from a homophobic beating when he was 14. It's made him a better performer, but it also makes him more dependent on his relationships - not just romantic, but this big network from friendships from high school. Even the Warblers, though he never finished at Dalton. Maybe it's that dependence that makes him more tolerant of my bad habits, more patience with my development.

Sebastian: He definitely is quite opposite from Hunter.

Sebastian: No, I broke up with Hunter over Thanksgiving, it was a little after that when I learned Blaine was my anonymous admirer.

Sebastian: He doesn't know it is me writing him these messages. He definitely feels reconnected to me, too. He's got a crush for sure. But he gets crushes easily. He sees the best in everyone.

Sebastian: He and I have called a truce on how the fight went down around his grandmother's store. I'm hoping we can put that behind us for the most part. But I don't know what it would be like for someone to send something of Grandmother's or Nina's into the abyss. It's going to hurt for awhile, I think.

Sebastian: Yes, I'll be back for NYE. Hunt and I are throwing a party. So that doesn't work for a first date.

Sebastian: How about this, in the New Year I'll take your advice I'll start showering him with time, effort, and attention...if you sign up with one of these services: https://www.vidaselect.com/nyc-matchmakers/

Sebastian: You jump, I jump, Jack.

Bill: Ah, I see that people-pleasing you speak of in volumes in that description.

Bill: I don't think there is anything wrong with it. You could do worse. Some people are just.. they make you believe things you didn't think possible.

Bill: Blaine is more like you that way. Not that you're not well read as well, but I feel like that is something Jay and Hunter have in common, and then you and Blaine? Am I off?

Bill: How would his dependence make him more tolerant?

Bill: Anonymous admirer? So he likes both the online you and has a crush on real you? But he doesn't know you're actually the same person? How?

Bill: It might not be something that ever goes away, honestly. But it might be something you both can learn to live with.

Bill: Maybe not for a first date. But if it's a party there is no reason not to invite him. Put that truce into action.

Bill: I think you can handle this one on your own. Let me at least get through the official break up and figure out what I want, and need, and what is best for Mattie before I jump into anything. But I'll keep it in mind.

[billthesmythe]

Dad/Sebastian Texts 12/21

Sebastian: Thanks. That means something, coming from you.

Sebastian: What exactly did you expect? You know his father, he's to so different than him - kind, talented, smart, ambitious.

Sebastian: He's different from his father though, in that he has more light in him, if that makes sense

Sebastian: I've been thinking about asking him out for a few weeks. By a strange coincidence we actually started anonymously corresponding online. I only recently found out that this guy I was feeling an increasingly strong connection with, was Blaine. I wasn't sure if I wanted tell him. He was the one I was thinking about when I asked you about forgiveness.

Bill: I suppose he does seem like his father. More talented, kind from the sounds of it. Maybe not quite as smart, when it comes to business.

Bill: I can definitely see more light in him; reminds me of your mother in a way.

Bill: But he seems very different from the type of boys, and men, you've pursued in the past-if I am being honest. That might be a good thing though. Like Jay, but also not like Jay.

Bill: For a few weeks? Did this prompt the break up with Hunter Clarington?

Bill: That is some kind of irony that you'd develop a connection to him again, this time blind. So he doesn't, or didn't, know it was you either? Do you suppose it's a reconnection of sorts for him too?

Bill: What do you have to ask his forgiveness for...oh! his grandmother's store. That's a tough one. Obviously a bitter pill for him considering your scene with him at the gallery the night of the Blue Diamond exhibit.

Bill: You'll be back in the city for New Years, yes? If you are considering asking him out, ask him out for then. Start your New Year right, with him. Shower him with everything you can offer. Not just materialistic things, though, time, effort, attention. The things I was too busy to give your mother, or you. I know you have big plans for yourself, but don't fall into the trap of getting so caught up in them that you lose sight of the important people around you.

[billthesmythe]

Dad/Sebastian Texts 12/21

Sebastian: We can talk before or after I leave. The office knows I'm on vacation now, they won't call unless it's urgent. Plus Rob's domestic and they can track him down if they need

Sebastian: [deleted] Yes. I'm in love with him

Sebastian: [deleted] Yes. I think I'm in love with him

Sebastian: Yes. I didn't oversell him, no?

Sebastian: I'm going to lasso him, one of these days.

Bill: No. Enjoy your break. You deserve it.

Bill: No. But also yes. If that makes sense.

Bill: He is not what I expected. But you didn't oversell.

[billthesmythe]

Dad/Sebastian Texts 12/21

Sebastian: Did I leave my muffler behind? Left in too much of a rush.

Bill: Yes, I believe you did. I noticed. I had hoped we would have time to talk some more before you left for Paris.

Bill: So... that was Blaine Anderson. Caroling. At my house.

[billthesmythe]

Sebastian nodded at his father’s logic around Hunter. “Even if he wasn’t dating Jay, I’d be asking about him coming around from time to time. He literally has no family, so he’s become mine,” he said, with a simple shrug. He thought about this set up for a moment before saying, “Anyway, something tells me that you and he might get on better now that he’s not my boyfriend.” He held up a hand to stave off a discussion. “We’ll see.”

When his dad crossed his arms Sebastian tried to pretend that it didn’t really matter if he hurt his father or not.

It was easier to consider the Jay situation and he nodded in agreement. “Yeah, talk to the lawyers. Just tell to not let your soft spot for her get in the way of Mattie’s best interests,” he said, crossing his own arms and pacing the room. When his dad brought up Jay’s job, he looked over and said pointedly, “Jay  should be rewarded for staying on. You’d better give him a healthy raise and more perks, and time off regularly so he can sculpt more. Maybe another nanny to take Mattie to Mommy and me classes. If anyone deserves a settlement, it’s Jay. He could make some serious money in a sexual harrassment lawsuit against Gillian but he’s not, for this family’s sake. He should get spot bonus, or ongoing support as a benefactor.” He added with a slightly threathening tone, “Do NOT exploit his good will, Dad. He loves Mattie but Mattie will also not remember that his father was raked over the coals in court. Don’t be fooled by Jay’s sweet face. He’s got a serious backbone. Plus he actually has an amazing backbone - he played Division I baseball for Stanford.”

Sebastian had to chuckle at the full spectrum vitrol his father pointed out. Then he rattled off a serious answer to his father’s question: “Start a venture capital firm for new model schools in the performing arts; start a massive program for women in entrepreneurship at Columbia, undergrad and MBA; a crap ton of scholarships for study abroad programs at NYU, UCLA, and in San Francisco public schools; do something massive and techy at Stanford...travel even more lavishly than I already have; start a mental health wing at Johns Hopkins; to name a few.” When his father talked about focusing on Mattie Sebastian was surprised. His father had never been a kid person. He’d settle down his lifestyle, but he still was never one to bounce Mattie on his knee. More surprising than that, his father sounded...lonely. He moved to stand in front of his father, ducking his head to look him in the eye. “Forget the carolers. Because it sounds like I have to have the ole ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ talk with you,” he said with a wry smile. “Which I’m entitled to do, since the last few conversations with you have included you sliding in suggestions about me talking to Blaine Anderson...”

Bill shrugged his shoulders not convinced about a change in his relationship with Hunter Clarington now that he wasn’t dating his son.  He was actually beginning to feel not bad about this conversation with his son and was about to chalk it up to a Christmas miracle.  

His eyes narrowed.  “I do not appreciate being told what to do; by my son no less.  Especially when it comes to people in my employ. Perhaps I should just find a new manny for Matt period,” Bill replied.  “If Jay has a problem with his salary, his hours, or what Gillian did, he should come to me. Directly. I recognize his worth, and have tried to be as accommodating as possible with time off.  However, if he wants to take the gamble with money from a suit against Gillian I’ll turn over the video surveillance in the New Year, once I’ve squared things away-- only so my hand won’t be tipped before I bring it to her.  Since I suspect, regardless, I’ll be the one who ends up footing the bill.”

Bill listened to Sebastian’s plans for his own money and nodded, actually impressed with his son’s drive and ambition, even at just the idea level.  “Those are impressive ideas, truly.  What are you waiting for in starting on them? More business experience?  More life experience?” he asked genuinely.  

Bill shook his head.  “Not the time for that talk.  Apparently Jay is out caroling, and he wants Mattie to hear them. Perhaps in the New Year once things settle.”  But something Sebastian had said in his lofty ambitions had struck a bit of a chord with him and set him thinking.  “Why aren’t you caroling with them?” he asked his son as he walked out of his office to get his younger son and take him to the front window.

[billthesmythe]

sebastianmartinsmythe​:

billthesmythe​:

A Special Christmas Gift

Sebastian nodded in answer to his father. “Yes, he’s still going to California with Jay.” He looked genuinely puzzled at his father’s offer. “But, that’s…nice of you to offer to ask Grandfather. I didn’t think you liked him enough to want to do that. Hunt and Grandfather always have gotten along, though.”

When his father locked the door Sebastian looked a little suspicious. This whole meeting was obviously too good to be true. He didn’t answer his father’s request to speak well of him to his mother. He was sure Adrienne had already made her own conclusions, and he wasn’t about to lie to her about how great his dad was or wasn’t. His dad was never that sound in mind…not for as long as he could remember. He was softer now, but that didn’t mean Sebastian thought he was doing so well. His brow furrowed when his dad brought up a detective, his mind instantly thinking his father was digging up dirt on Henry, or Hunter, or, god forbid, Blaine. But it was about Gillian. Sebastian had been sure that his father had forgotten about Sebastian’s demands to look into what had happened with Jay. He knew Jay would avoid it again and likely didn’t feel himself in any danger, so he hadn’t followed up on it with his father - he was sure it would fall on deaf ears again. Sebastian blessed Catie for finding security footage, but then listening to his father he realized that Matthew was going to be collateral damage. He shook his head at the whole situation but looked at his father and said with that Smythe aggressive directness, “Go for full custody - I’m sure you can find more dirt besides that video. Jay would probably testify, if you wanted. And I’m sure he is going to be even more committed to stay on with you, to make sure Mattie has someone reliable, day to day, as his life changes.” He added to reassure his father, “And you know what? At age 4, Mattie’s going to grow up and not even remember what it was like to have parents who live together. It’s won’t be so bad for him…he won’t become a nightmare like I did.” His father’s voice had a sorrow he’d never heard before. Sebastian stood up and walked over to the window, putting his hand on his father’s shoulder. He’d been taller than his father since he was 14, but never before had he’d felt paternal about him. “Don’t worry about that. You know my bratty independent streak means I like to make my own filthy lucre, anyway.” He paused, not sure what to say next. He just let a silence pass and gave his that’s shoulder a light squeeze, saying a little awkwardly, “I’m just sorry, Dad. Sorry this happened to you.”

Bill shrugged.  “I know they have.  And he’s obviously still important to you, even after the break up.  And if he’s going to be dating Jay, then he’s going to be around, and Lord knows Matt and Annabelle like him too.”  

Bill could tell by the way Sebastian’s brow furrowed that he wasn’t entirely convinced, or that his son believed him.  He supposed that was the price he paid after all this time.  He crossed his arms and tried to pretend it didn’t really matter either way.

“I’ll talk to the legal team and see what they think is necessary to go after full custody,” Bill said with a nod.  “I’m not sure what happened with Jay, or anything else could sway a judge into denying all custody.  However, more of a settlement, sadly, might work.”  He took a deep breath.  “I’m glad you think Jay will stay on, to help provide stability.  That will be important.”  Bill gave Sebastian a weak smile, “I’m going to remind you of that.”

Bill laughed at Sebastian’s comment. “This is true.  You’ve gone from spending as much of my money as possible to spite me, to making your own for the same reason.”  He looked at his son. “And  have you thought about what you might do with all of it one day?”  When Sebastian squeezed his shoulder, Bill nodded.  “It’s fine.  It’s what I get for chasing skirts as if I were your age.  Maybe it’s time to just focus on Matty.”  And focus on being alone, was left unsaid.

His phone beeped and Bill picked it up, reading the message, and typing something back.  He moved to the door and opened it. “Come, there are carolers.”

[billthesmythe]

sebastianmartinsmythe​:

A Special Christmas Gift

Sebastian came over, sitting down and glancing over at the gifts. He didn’t pick them up immediately since he was accustomed to expensive but often not very personal gifts his father gave him for Christmas. He was never in a hurry to open them. In the worst years Sebastian was sure his father’s secretary had picked them out. 

He didn’t answer his father’s comment about Gillian, since he never liked discussing her. He considered it a rhetorical question, anyway. He did confirm, “Yeah, I’ll find room in my bag. I usually carry on Hunter’s gifts, so I’ll have space.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows lifted when he heard about his father’s apologies. “Yeah?” He took a breath, his expression thoughtful as he imagined what the conversation had been like. “She must have been surprised.” He took another breath and thought about what it might have taken for his father to try to make amends like that. “I’m proud of you, Dad,” he said, looking for eye contact with his father’s blue eyes. “I assume she was a class act about it.” He reached for the boxes, looking touched. “Thanks. This is really…” he looked up at his father, having a rare moment where Sebastian Smythe didn’t know what to say. How did you tell your cad of a father that he was being surprisingly nice? “This is really,” he repeated. “…thoughtful of you.” Then he opened his gift and his face softened again.

He was still looking at his gift when Bill shut the door. “Yeah, sure,” he replied, still looking at the photo of his mother, who looked extraordinary in the photo. It was hard to believe his 6′2″ self had ever nestled comfortably in her belly. And it was hard to believe his father appreciated this photo the way a father should.

“That’s going to be a change for you,” Bill said, in reference to Hunter not being there.  “Is the plan for him to still go to California with Jay?  Or should I suggest Dad invite him for company while you’re away?”  He had never understood the relationship between Sebastian and Hunter, and a lot of his ill will had mostly subsided, although he knew he didn’t always show it.  For whatever reason, his son was very protective of  Hunter Clarington.  

Bill shut the door, and then locked it.  “Sorry, this is not a conversation we need anyone walking in on.”  He had the sense to look chagrined then.  “Yeah I think she was very surprised.  And probably isn’t completely convinced that I’m of sound mind and health, so if you can reassure her while you’re there, that would be good.”  Bill gave Sebastian a look.  “Of course she was.  If there is one thing that your mother has always been...” he trailed off.  It had drawn Bill to Adrienne in the first place.  And it had frustrated him in the end.  Because she was classier than he was, and it only reminded him of how much of a better person she was and that he’d never deserved her.

“While you were in California over Thanksgiving, I had some detective work done.  Hunter’s work partner, Catie, was surprisingly helpful,” Bill admitted.  “There was video of Gillian, and her interaction with Jay.  To be honest, it made me sick.”  He ran a hand through his hair.  “I started having Gillian watched, which sounds horrible, and let’s just say you were right.  I don’t want to ruin Matt’s Christmas, but in the New Year, I am breaking off the engagement.  I have a hefty settlement ready for her.  And papers to keep at least half custody of Matt.  Although I’d prefer if I had full, with visitation allowed.  But she is still his mother.  When it comes out, I also expect her to apologize to Jay, especially if he will stay on to care for Matt.  And I will give my own apologies as well.”  

Bill went to the window and looked out at the city again.  “More of your inheritance gone.  I’m sorry.”

[billthesmythe]

sebastianmartinsmythe​:

A Special Christmas Gift

It had been a Blue Christmas so far for Sebastian. Some of it was worry over looking after Hunter, to make sure he was going to be ready to try to be a normal person at Jay’s family Christmas. Some of it was just feeling bad for Blaine, imagining how difficulty it must be to be close down his grandmother’s store. But mostly of course he was unsteady about what to do about Blaine. He had turned the matter over in his mind at all hours, and even in an online journal he’d never kept before. He couldn’t come to a conclusion that felt right. He didn’t even really know what he was doing with him online…so how could he decide if he was going to sweep him off his feet? It had been well enough to skim the surface of Shopboy’s personal details, but when he found out it was Blaine he realized just how much they had to catch up on. And not all of it sounded all that great. It would have been easy to blame everything Blaine had suffered through on Kurt, but as an adult Sebastian had to admit that this couldn’t be completely true. Meeting up with Kurt and Dave underscored that point. Kurt wasn’t a whiny teenager anymore. He had even spoken well of Blaine, and showed remorse about being oblivious to the unhappiness in the relationship.

Blaine was still insecure, clearly still making sense of his miserable relationship with Kurt and still trying to find footing in his career. He wasn’t just a extraordinary performer Sebastian could put on a pedestal, or a gorgeous guy to be lusted over. He was a real, flesh and blood man. Sebastian had to decide if he was going to let himself fall him for all over again. And Blaine had to decide if he wanted to let Sebastian in his life. Sebastian had gotten into too much detail about how much he’d slept around. He’d been judgmental and dark and clueless. Not all that great. 

Sebastian could have seen Blaine tonight. He could have said yes when Jay had invited him to go caroling with some Sam and some of the New Directions alumni - it would be shocking if Blaine wasn’t there. Sebastian could have come, and lagged behind with Blaine and laid his heart in his hand under a street lamp, kissed him under a Christmas tree. 

But he just couldn’t do it. He wasn’t feeling it and he didn’t dare see Blaine in person when he was still unsure. So instead, he’d decided to go over to his father’s house to watch Christmas movies with Matthew. His stepbrother and he had stuffed themselves with Christmas cookies while watching The Grinch, between movies, while Matthew had gone off to put his pajamas on, Sebastian had wandered over to say hello to his father, who he knew was usually in his enormous study. As he made his way through the large house he recalled that the last time he had texted with his father about anything of consequence, his father said they should talk on the 21st at the office. Things had been too hectic, wrapping things up for year end, so Sebastian had never stopped by. He didn’t think much of it, though. His father had sounded like he wanted to make the specific apologies that Sebastian had asked for, but he doubted they would happen. Bill Smythe had disappointed him countless times over the years and Sebastian had just accepted it. A little high on sugar, he walked up to the front hallway, then came into the study with a smile on his face, holding a gorgeous gift bag containing the $400 bottle of scotch he always got his father at Christmast. 

“Hey,” said, “You really missed out, not joining us - the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes…just like yours did when that little mutt out there was born.”

Bill was looking out the window at the city when he heard his oldest sons’ voice behind him.  “Maybe next year,” he said non committally.   “Come in.”  He gestured to a chair and sat on the edge of his desk.  As Sebastian came closer, he lowered his voice.  “I hope Gillian is behaving.”  Then he gestured to the twin packages.  “The top one is for you.  The bottom for your mother.  I hope you’ll have room to take it for me.  The tops lift off to get it through airport security.”  He’d spoken to Adrienne about a week ago, following through on the promise he’d last made Sebastian.  And also making sure she was aware of the turmoil in Sebastian’s life.  She knew of course, but she seemed touched that Bill did as well.  

“Are you ready for Christmas in Paris?  Your mother and Henry are looking forward to having you all to themselves,” he admitted.  “I spoke to Adrienne last week.  I offered her heartfelt apologies for all the ways I let both of you down.  Especially when it came to her health following our divorce.  I let her know that I am glad she had you, has you, and now has Henry.”  Bill’s leg giggled nervously as he continued to talk.  “I admitted that the best parts of you, come from her.  And as you suggested, I told her about how beautiful she was when she was carrying you.  That I never realized it, truly, until Gilliam was pregnant with Matthew, and that it was a shame.  To that end,” he got up and crossed to the book shelf and pulled out a book, one of his favorites, and pulled out a worn photo that marked a passage he enjoyed immensely.  It was a photo of Adrienne when she was pregnant with Sebastian, standing in a puddle of warm looking sun, a smile, wide and beaming adorning her beautiful face, and a look of peace and love radiating from her.  Bill showed the photo to Sebastian.  “I thought you both ought to have a copy of your own,” he said, again gesturing to the boxes.  

Bill moved to the door and shut it.  Before he locked it though, he raised an eyebrow.  “Do you have time to talk?”  He didn’t want Gillian, Matt or anyone walking in on the discussion they were about to have.