e46 BMW 3 Series “Classic”
What sets a BMW apart from the rest of the crowd? Sure, it’s not a white good on wheels, it does serve purposes beyond just getting people from a to b, but more importantly what sets it apart from it’s fellow leather lined, chrome tipped and wood grained peers? Simple. The way a BMW feels to drive.
Every BMW is designed around the driver and this is always evident, from the correctly biased centre stack (even in RHD) to the fatigue reducing interior lighting, the smooth shifting gears, the sports steering wheel with an engaging yet not strenuous amount of road feel and so much more….. They are the type of luxury car that is so much more than just a badge or jewellry on wheels.
Because of their high levels of refinement it can take a while for their personality to show. Like any professional suite, the car only exists to perform it’s one duty. To drive. Not transport a six strong horde of screaming kids or a cement mixer or even a straw hat on the rear parcel shelf. They have nothing to prove like a fun festiva or a cheeky accent. They don’t chime at you a million times when the headlights are on, or your seat belt is off. They don’t care. It will only talk to you when it needs something like “top up my oil” or “replace drivers side fog lamp” or check “radiator fluid”. Things a good owner should already be on top of anyway.
They are German designed, South African built bad asses. Why do you think every bad guy that’s ever lived drives a black BMW? There must be nothing more intimidating for the lead “goodie” in any film than seeing those two chrome kidneys between two pairs of twin globes quickly darting into sight in the rear view mirror.
You can service it every ten thousand kilometers, polish the leather every six months, wash it every couple of weeks, check it’s fluids every weekend, even pat it on the roof and talk to it like an idiot if you want to, but it will still refuse to carry your mountain bike or ski’s or a large CRT monitor in the boot. Hell; my e46 3 series probably can't even fit some larger golf bags in the boot. It’s a professional all right. So professional it never leaves it’s office. The road.
But who can blame it though really? When it’s got social skills that make it dangerous to mix with others, and an attitude to boot it really isn’t much good at anything else. But that doesn’t matter, because it is a good drivers car that feels good to drive and it has absolutely nothing to prove to anybody else unlike some of the people who buy them…..
Clearly….
So they do their job, they do it well, and they keep it professional.
I believe luxury motoring reached it’s peak or “pinnacle” if you like around the turn of the millenium. So, lets say from 2000-2005. You know, the days before every car had a color screen and enough connectivity to know what Kimye is tweeting about this week. A time that will be remembered for functional, yet innovative design, tasteful lines, alloy wheels that actually fit under the guards, tyres that had more than a few inches of rubber on them, engine bays with actual oil dipsticks in them, keys that you take out of your pocket and actually fit into an ignition and turn, full size spares and cars that had an overall timeless nature about them.
They are pleasant, they are complicated enough to encompass all that is good about modern technology without being too overcomplicated, overbearing or gimmicky. It makes me feel quite old, but I can safely say the e46 is classy, timeless and does not deserve to be confined to the history books so quickly. This may be a very Eckhart Tolle thing of me to say but BMW, you need to “live in the now.” Except hypocritically for the purposes of my point anyway, now means 15 years ago. Lets just go back to the year 2000 and pause time there. Awesome….
I am embarking on a project where I am re-imagining the e46 as a 2015 model. Luxury car makers are always incorporating the latest technology, trying to stay at the forefront of motoring because of growing pressure from consumers and governments. But with a few little tweaks and not much money an e46 BMW can offer real luxury.
I believe if car companies increased the lifespan of volume models, instead of re-inventing the same car every six years a car could be slowly and incrementally improved into the best car it can possibly be for an affordable price and remain reasonably up to date. The e46 BMW could quite easily be revived and even sold alongside the current F30. This car could offer new car owners the chance to step into a car that was worth over $70,000 at the start of the millenium for much less. I believe there is a niche market for “no fuss” luxury cars. Add a few new creature comforts like mp3 compatibility, bluetooth and modern engine-drivetrains to keep up with emissions standards. You don’t need a whole new car for these few things. Surly…..
So this is my pitch to BMW. Bring the e46 back, even as one model. A 325i perhaps, in manual and auto. Limit the interior colour combinations to the minimum. Just concentrate on selling a real down to Earth luxury car that has everything one needs to drive thousands of kilometres comfortably and effortlessly.
So BMW, I put it to you. I will re-invent my car to show you what a 2015 model needs to have to be competitive in todays market. This is the 2015” e46 BMW 3 Series Classic!”