A/N: I had posted this a long time ago, then I decided to repost it after some slight updates... I hope you can enjoy.
tags: Samatoki Aohitsugi x fem!reader, toxic ex, car sex, implied cheating
wc: 4.7k+
You wondered how long you could keep this up. The desire for a healthy and somewhat normal relationship seemed like a fairytale to you. Samatoki was only making it harder for you to envision it as reality. But you weren’t much better. After all, the boundaries you tried to set with him were always ignored and you gave up far too easily. You wanted to try putting your foot down. The least you could do was try.
You stood outside of the bar you worked at. Your exhausting and long shift finished at 3am. You usually exited the building at 3:17am after changing out of your uniform and into something comfortable. A schedule that (to your displeasure) had been memorized by your ex-boyfriend. Upon opening the back door and waving goodnight to some of your co-workers, you stopped. Your head started to throb, and you could feel your body tensing up with stress.
You stared at him with your jaw clenched and your hands balled into tight fists at your sides. He was lounging in a new black car, sleek and shiny with a silver skull ornament on the hood. The rap music was loud, and so was the musky scent of those nasty ass Lucky Strike cigarettes he swore up and down he would give up when the two of you got married.
You wouldn’t marry him even if your life depended on it. You would much rather die than be chained to him forever. Neither of you spoke as you stood with your gazes locked. It was like a silent challenge for who would make the first move.
The driver-side window was rolled down. Samatoki’s arm hung out of the opening as his crimson colored eyes scanned over you. His cigarette hung from his lips and burning down to the orange paper as he waited expectantly for you to join him in the car. The air was frigid and your sweatshirt wouldn’t shield you from the early morning chill for very long. You had two choices: Walk almost 3 hours and 30 minutes back to your apartment, or join Samatoki in the warmth and comfort of his obviously new car.
This was a routine you told yourself you hated. The sensation of defeat gave you a sour taste in your mouth. But you were so used to it that you couldn’t help but sigh as you trudged toward Samatoki.
His small smirk made you roll your eyes as he leaned over to push open the passenger door for you. Another consistency in your life that you wished you hated. You dropped into the expensive leather seat, setting your bag onto the floor between your legs, and yanked the door shut with one fluid motion. “How was work?” Your ex asked casually as he turned the music down and glanced over at you. He was obviously pleased that you didn’t put up a fight.
You hesitated to answer him as you pulled your phone out of your sweatshirt pocket. “… It was okay.” Nothing exciting to talk about. The usual drunks cracking lame jokes and wives storming in looking for their missing husbands. “Better than shitty.” The comment was playful as he drove away from the building. Now began the longest 25 minute drive ever. Maybe 40 if Samatoki decided to hold you captive and take you the long way back to your apartment. Or ‘the scenic route’ as he called it.
He has done it multiple times in the past. He was not above doing it again. After all, he had been coming to pick you up from every shift for over a month. And not once did you have the strength to walk away from his silent command. “Why did you start working there? I liked the secretary place better.” He chimed in as you narrowed your eyes with annoyance while continuing to scroll through your missed notifications. “To get farther away from you.” The job change happened two months ago, three days after breaking up with Samatoki for the millionth time. But low and behold, it only took him a week to find your new gig. “You must love our long rides together then huh? That’s the real reason, right?”
“Can you focus on the road please?” You didn’t want to hear his voice right now. You were exhausted and irritated. He chuckled and allowed you a moment of silence as you tapped at your phone. Clearing away spam texts for coupons and social media celebrity drama you didn’t care to check on. A soft ping suddenly cut through the silence in the car. It was deafening as the music paused to move onto the next track, and you could feel the playful air around Samatoki start to shift. The tension was like you had been caught stealing. Or like you broke something and lied about it.
You shouldn’t feel this way. Samatoki doesn’t own you and he isn’t supposed to be in your life.
“Who’re you texting?” He asked with agitation lining his tone. He sounded accusatory as you sank deeper into the seat. You raised your eyes from your phone, only to watch him smash his cigarette into the little tray on the dashboard. You’re single and so is he. He has no reason to be mad and you have no reason to fear his response.
Samatoki reached towards the cup holder where he usually stored his carton of cigarettes. In the past he had crushed so many by sitting on them or the glove compartment was too difficult to reach over to open. That was where you came in. “I’m texting my boyfriend.” Your answer was short and monotone as you grabbed the carton for him and left your phone screen up in your lap. Routine. That’s all this was.
You pulled out a cigarette from the little cardboard box and reached for his navy blue lighter tucked into the same cup holder; assisting Samatoki as the cigarette was placed between his lips and you carefully sparked the lighter as he drove. The action felt intimate. Now it was getting too familiar for your tastes. You quickly pulled away as the man inhaled, you heard the familiar crackle of the paper and tobacco turning to ash, you smelled the strong, earthy stink of the cigarette, and watched him roll down the tinted window. Just enough to blow the smoke out of the car as to not drown you in the fumes. Samatoki was thoughtful, as always.
A frown smeared across your face, and you picked up your phone again. You didn’t really want to respond to your boyfriend now. He had no idea your ex has been taking you home at night. You just told the guy that Samatoki was a ‘friend’. Genderless of course. Your boyfriend sent a goodnight message. He always stayed up long enough for you to get out of work. He said that he hopes you get home safe and that he loves you.
You stared blankly at the text with a pit forming in your stomach. Maybe it was because of the situation you were in, but you felt annoyed. All you had the energy and care to do was send a heart emoji in response to his texts. “So… A boyfriend huh?” Samatoki grunted as he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. “Yep.” You texted him that your friend was driving you home again tonight and that you loved him too. You put your phone on silent to ignore the rest of the incoming texts from the guy you started dating only two weeks ago. He could wait.
“S’your boyfriend is too good to pick you up from work?” Your ex asked with a sly smile. You knew what Samatoki was trying to say. “You probably threatened to beat him up before I left the building. That’s why you’re always waiting on me.” You snapped in annoyance and grabbed your bag to stuff your phone into. You could feel Samatoki glaring at you before returning to the road with a click of his tongue. “Now why would I do that?”
“Because you’re crazy.”
Samatoki chased all of your boyfriends away before they even had the chance to give you a cheek kiss. And somehow, someway, you always found yourself back in Samatoki's arms. It was a horrific cycle the two of you went through, but no one seemed interested in actually breaking it. Not yet at least. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. It’s ugly.” He growled as you curled up in the seat and leaned towards the dark glass window. It was quiet between the two of you other than the rap song thrumming softly against the speakers of his car. “You’re ugly.” You huffed and you could hear him snicker. “Was I ugly when you rode my face two months ago?” You could feel your ears growing hot as you whipped around and smacked his shoulder with a scowl. “Stop it.” Samatoki is the most frustrating man alive. “Hey, hey, don’t hit me. I’m just asking a question.” He cooed and you turned away with your arms crossed. “No answer?” No answer indeed. He let out a soft laugh as the drive and its familiar scenery helped you relax in the expensive seat.
“Are you cold?” He asked and tapped away the ash of his cigarette into the tray. You shook your head as you watched the colorful lights and tall buildings pass you. “Silent treatment now?” Silent treatment indeed. You could tell his mood was starting to sour as you effectively ignored him. Electing to seek comfort in the passing scenery was much better than being friendly with Samatoki. You were trying to place a boundary. And for once, just once you wanted him to respect it. “Stop acting like that. You don’t have to be so snotty towards me. What did I do that was so horrible?” Clearly frustrated by your refusal to speak, his muscular arm sliding along the back of your seat as you scrunched up your face at the bitter memory.
Two months ago was another late night screaming match. You were sick of how he was keeping tabs on you. How he was always watching you and how you had no privacy from him. He claimed he was doing it because he cared; but he was being obsessive. He was stalking you at work, trying to get one of your male co-workers fired just for waving at you one morning. You threatened to tell his sister how insane her older brother was. And that’s how it started snowballing. Insults were thrown, you were pretty sure you threw a shoe at him when he tried to block the door to keep you from leaving him. And with you hurriedly throwing some of your things into a tote bag, you left him in the doorway with his arms crossed.
His crazy ass followed you in his car as you marched towards your barely lived in apartment. Tears in your eyes as he rode alongside you- Commanding that you get in the car and go back home with him. This went on for an hour until you caved and got in the car with him. You went back home with him. You let him apologize and kiss at your skin about how he’ll do better. You let him wipe your tears away and unpack your bag, putting your things back neatly where they belonged in his home. Your toothbrush, your clothes, your shoes, everything was back in its place. You allowed yourself to sleep beside him for a few hours. But you made sure to wake up first. Only to repack your bag and leave in a hurry.
He’s a psycho. He’s an asshole. He’s a stalker. You didn’t want to be with him.
“You don’t have to keep picking me up from work. I can take the train just fine.” You scoffed and leaned against the car door in hopes of getting further from him. “What train? You know they don’t run until 5. Don’t fuck with me.” Samatoki scoffed at your comment and ashed his cigarette. “If you didn’t work at that shit stain bar I would let you walk home.” There he goes again. This is why you broke up over and over again.
“Stop doing that. I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.” Your voice started to line with venom as the streets became more and more familiar. “And that’s fine. But when we dated this wasn’t even a concern for me to have.” He was so controlling it made you sick. Like you were his doll he had to keep an eye on.
“Someone has to pay my bills.”
“Why don’t you just ask your little boy toy then? Huh? What, is he too broke?”
There he goes again.
The vicious cycle where you left him in hopes of something healthier, only to be led back to his arms. He belittled all of your short-term boyfriends, scaring them off and making them disappear within the first few weeks of you agreeing to be theirs. It was horrible. “I can pay for my own-”
“You didn’t have to pay for anything when we were together. Including that bullshit apartment.” He growled as he rounded the corner to your complex. The apartment you barely visited because Samatoki deemed it ‘unsafe’ for you to be living alone. All of your belongings were in his home. From your expensive facial care down to loose coins. You abandoned it all to start from zero as you had done many times in the past. And when you came back to him it all accumulated at his place before you fled once more.
The car parked in front of the raggedy apartment complex you sought out as solace away from Samatoki. The buildings were old and falling apart. But the neighborhood was tight knit. And sadly, you were the prime entertainment. You were known and whispered about because of Samatoki showing up. Once he figured he couldn’t wait you out, he would start banging on your apartment door, causing noise complaints until you came out to talk to him or let him inside.
He would wait outside for hours, demanding that you leave with him. No one ever stepped in, they all just watched and waited to see how things would unfold. And you always saw their disappointed looks and the shakes of their heads when you cracked and got into the car with your ex.
You needed to get better at refusing him. But when you didn’t there was a feeling of guilt inside of you. You didn’t want to see him looking so hurt, seeing him be so patient with your bad moods. But you wanted him to understand that he wasn’t entirely innocent. It was something he needed to see.
With a sigh you sat up and grabbed your bag, reaching for the door handle to get out and finally shower before bed. Yet it did not budge. You expected this. Samatoki would never change. “Damn, no goodbye?” He clicked his tongue with a pout, and you could tell this was a game he wanted you to play. His pointer finger tapped gently at the safety lock, keeping you trapped in the car with him until you gave him what you wanted. And you knew very well it wasn’t goodbye. Here he goes with that controlling shit you couldn't stand. “I need to go inside and take a shower-”
“My shower is nicer.” He cut you off as you gripped the handle tightly. “I have your body scrubs and your favorite soaps. I restocked that shampoo you liked, the expensive one that makes your hair smell like flowers.” His voice softened, and so did your grip on the door. “Your slippers are at my house. Your fluffy bathrobe- Oh, and you left your satin pillowcase behind.” He continued as you felt your resolve start to weaken. Your shoulders began to sag as he finished off his cigarette. “My place is just another 20 minutes of driving. I bet you didn’t eat yet either. Did you?” He asked as the heat in the car started to make you sweat, so you let go of the door handle to turn it down. You could feel his eyes watching you, studying your movements as you sat back in the leather seat with a frown. “You don’t have shit in your fridge, do you?” You knew he was wearing that smug smile that only made you hate him more. Because he only looked smug when he was right. You looked down at your knees as everything began to crumble. Your attempt at a boundary was like papier-mâché to Samatoki. “You gonna eat popcorn for dinner? A bag of chips? Oh, let me guess. Your last applesauce cup on a piece of buttered toast? Huh? Is that what you want to eat?” He pushed and pushed and it started to sting. You grimaced, unable to look at him. “Let me out of the car.” You mumbled, feeling tears well up in your eyes. “Why don’t I make you dinner? Something that will fill you. And you can take a bath and soak. There aren’t any places open and the trains won’t run until 5am. You wanna walk in the cold to some roach infested McDonalds? Or do you want steak and eggs with sparkling grape juice waiting for you after your bath?”
He reached over and unbuckled your seatbelt, gingerly pulling it off of you. “You don’t want to go in there.” He whispered as he freed himself from his seat next. With one hand pressing against the tinted glass, and the other against the back of your expensive leather seat, you were trapped. But you didn’t want to push him away. You could smell his expensive cologne and the cigarettes he couldn’t live without. It felt so welcoming. “You want to come home with me. You want to eat dinner with me, take a bath, and fall asleep in our big bed.” Our. You felt yourself falling apart in the seat.
Samatoki was right. You didn’t want to go back to your shitty apartment. You wanted to go back to the big 60 inch flatscreen and to sleep on Samatoki’s memory foam mattress he had custom for you. You wanted to sleep under his heavy weighted blankets with his arm thrown over you the way that helped you sleep. You chewed at your lower lip, nervously squirming in the seat as he pressed his forehead against yours. “Can I have a kiss goodnight?” He requested sweetly, breathlessly. You looked up to meet his pleading eyes. You hated yourself for folding so easily. You tilted your head, giving the silent okay for him to continue.
As his lips meshed with yours, you felt all of those boundaries you attempted to put up vanish. His body was warm as he pressed you into the seat. He pulled away for a moment, just to give you a chance to breathe. But that didn’t last long as he stole your lips a second time. His tongue pressed against yours, the sounds of the make out were messy and loud, and you started to wonder if you were okay with going back to your lonely apartment. His kisses were ones that lingered, and that nasty, nasty aftertaste of those nasty, nasty Lucky Strike cigarettes filled your taste buds. But you didn’t hate it. You liked it because it was the way Samatoki tasted. You whimpered when his hand squeezed your thigh as he pulled his mouth away from yours with a wet sound.
His tongue slid against your lower lip as you tried to slow your racing thoughts. “Back seat.” It wasn’t a request. But it’s not like you would say no to him. It was like everything was moving in slow motion now. He let you climb over his cup holders and into the empty backseat. His eyes watched you closely as he crawled behind you, letting you sit on the cushions as he caged you against the seat, lips meeting yours again.
The kisses were hurried and hungry, leaving you lightheaded as his hands worked in a flash. He was pulling at your jeans, yanking them down your thighs while shoving your sweatshirt up to your chin. You moaned against his mouth as his hands rubbed along your sides, pulling playfully at your panties to slide them down next. “You’re not even fighting. So moody.” He muttered against your lips with a smirk, pulling and tugging at your clothes until your jeans and bunched panties hung lazily off of your leg. With Samatoki slotted between your parted thighs, he proudly towered over you. “Look at you, so pretty as always.” He purred and lifted your legs to rest over his thighs to give him much better access to your fluttering pussy that was so desperate for his attention. His fingers gently rubbing at your clit as you shielded your face from him with your arms. You didn’t want to fight basic instinct, but you didn’t want to remind yourself you were giving in to your ex’s wants so easily either. Your hips rocked in tandem with the slow rubs and a breathless sigh left your lips as he slipped a long finger inside of you. “You can hide for now. But wait til’ I get inside you. I’ll get to see aaaall those pretty expressions.” His voice was playful, yet warning. The muscles in your stomach tightened and your thighs trembled as he pumped his finger slowly. Curling it up against your soft walls to push the whines and sobs out of you.
“Please…” You whispered, not realizing what you were asking for. It was routine. It was instinct. But Samatoki wasn’t planning to tease you for it. Not when all he wanted was for you to reciprocate his feelings. You felt his finger pull out of you and you started to frown. Your arms pulled away from your face and you glanced between your thighs.
Your face began to burn at the sight before you. “This is what you really wanted huh?” He purred with a laugh following. He crudely smacked the weight of his thick cock against the hardened bud of your clit and the wet, puffy meat of your cunt. “You keep hopping boy to boy looking for a man,” You flinched as he lined himself up and slowly began to breach your walls. Your body sucked him in deeper. Your body craved that familiar feeling of his cock. Every rhythmic pulse and every vein lulled you into a state of euphoria as you writhed beneath him. “But you had one right here the whole time.” His words left your heart smacking against your ribs as you grabbed his forearm and held tightly. A whine slipped out of your mouth as he continued to push. You wished he had stretched you some more, but maybe this was his way of getting revenge. He knew you liked when he was rough. He was using it against you.
“There you go. Sucking me in like this... You haven’t been fucked since I was with you last. Is that right? You’ve been waiting on me to grab you up? Waitin’ for me to take you? Huh? Is that it?” The raspy groan leaving his throat made you shudder as your other hand clawed at his designer shirt. His hips were now flush with yours, and he remained still as you struggled to catch your breath. “Look at you. You missed me so much huh?” He teased as he lowered himself on top of you. Your heart stuttered in your chest feeling his weight, and soon began the slow rocks in and out of you. His gravelly voice in your ear and the lingering taste from his cigarettes you had grown to enjoy made everything much more intense. “You havin’ fun? Playin’ hard to get?” He cooed and started to quicken the buck of his hips. The tremble of your body told him all he needed to know as he steadily fucked the moans out of you. “To take care of you. That’s why I stick around. Because I care about you so much.” He whispered with a smile, his pace steading as your legs weakly bounced with each of his thrusts. Your heels dug into his lower back as you wailed and whimpered into his shoulder. “I know what you like. I know what you need. What you crave. Because I love you.” His breath tickled your ear as he pounded you into the expensive leather backseat.
The lewd sounds of his body connecting with yours was filling your head with a lusty fog. It was impossible to remember why you broke up with Samatoki now. Why you gave up pleasure and luxury like this for a miserable loneliness. His steady thrusts pushed you closer and closer to the edge as you practically melted underneath him.
“Your little boyfriends can’t fuck you like I can. You know that, I know that.” He whispered against your ear with a rough punctuation of his hips. Snapping angrily against you, rocking the car gently as your hands moved to pull at his white hair. “You done actin’ out? You wanna come back and try again? We can go on aaaaall our favorite dates.” He cooed sweetly as you began to clench and squeeze around him. Your hips trembling at the saccharine promises you knew would be fulfilled with a simple ‘yes’.
Expensive mall trips with matching outfits and cute photos. Boujee restaurants with VIP booths where Samatoki was allowed to smoke in peace. Late night drives around the city to see all the pretty lights while you talk for hours. Sharing drinks at high end bars. And of course, being fucked full by someone who knew your body better than you did. The round tip of his cock kissed a soft bundle of nerves within you, pushing soft screams out of you that were getting harder to suppress. You knew the windows were tinted, but was the car soundproof? What about your boyfriend?
“W-Wait-“ You stammered with trembling lips as his hips rutted faster against yours, his weight pressing you deeper into the expensive leather seat. “Huh? Wait for what baby? Don’t you wanna cum?” His voice was so gentle. A hand slipped between your sweat slicked thighs and began to rub delicate circles over your clit. The rough callous of his middle and index finger left you struggling for air as you shook your head. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He whispered with his hips slowing to a stop as you started to grow lightheaded. “S’not cheating if you don’t care about the guy in the first place.” He smiled against your ear as the knot in your stomach wound and wound into a tight band, ready to snap free. “You wanna be my baby, don’t you?”
You did.
You wanted Samatoki back. You wanted to go back to how things were. With teary eyes and a nod, you gave him a weak ‘yeah’ as his movements resumed. You were mercifully pushed over the edge. Gushing around his cock, his expensive True Religion jeans, and all over the leather seat with a loud cry and a rough tug to his white tresses. “There we go, there we go. It’s okay, you’re so good for me. Such a good girl.” He praised you with a rough groan and continued to pump his cock, moving slowly in and out of your throbbing cunt. His cock still solid as he lifted himself up to steal kiss after kiss. He didn’t cum. Not yet. “Why don’t we go out tomorrow night? We can go to that one restaurant you liked, the one with the little star shaped carrots in the salad.” He suggested sweetly with slow rocks of his hips, stimulating your sensitive body as you helplessly nodded at his words. “We can go back to the way we were. Let’s go home. Okay?” Samatoki cupped your face in his large palms, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs as he planted a final kiss against your lips. And you reciprocated.
The cycle had begun again; starting with the bad aftertaste of Lucky Strike cigarettes.
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