Patrick: I’m gonna grab some food, do you want anything?
The demon possessing Gerard: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT
Gerard: A bagel.
The demon possessing Gerard: NO
Gerard: Two bagels.
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@bishopsgeetrick
Patrick: I’m gonna grab some food, do you want anything?
The demon possessing Gerard: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT
Gerard: A bagel.
The demon possessing Gerard: NO
Gerard: Two bagels.
Gerard: “letting my intrusive thoughts win and dying my hair pink” that is an IMPULSIVE thought. If I let my intrusive thoughts win, we’d all be dead.
Patrick: So true, one time I felt actual genuine murderous rage after looking at a parade of ants because I fucking hate ants, especially when they walk together.
Gerard: … That doesn’t sound like an intrusive thought, that just sounds like you don’t like ants?
Gerard: I just want to say I’m disappointed in modern architecture and it’s distinct lack of gargoyles.
Pete: What is toothpaste if not bone soap?
Gerard: Existence is a prison and you are maximum security.
Patrick: Yesterday I overheard Mikey saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Pete replying “Trust me.” I’ve never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.
*At the mall*
Teenage Bandit: Hey dad, can I have twenty bucks to get my eyebrow pierced?
Gerard: First I need to ask you one question, young lady: are you ready for how awesomely cool this is gonna make you look?
Teenage Bandit: *bowing at one knee* Yes father, I am.
Gerard: Then take this twenty, and may radness illuminate your path.
Teenage Bandit: Thank you!!
Judgemental shopper: Are you seriously letting your daughter get her eyebrow pierced???
Gerard: You’re right. Sweetheart, take forty and do both. That’s much cooler.
Gerard: *introducing Patrick to someone else* This is my precious angel Patrick. I love him so much. He’s my everything.
Patrick: *introducing Gerard to someone else* This is my boyfriend Gerard. He’s an absolute bitch and I lured him here with a piece of cheese on a string. I would die for him.
Hi, your blog kinda inspired me to do some of my own incorrect quotes
Really? 🥺
I’m sorry I’m just seeing this now but thank you for sending this in! I’m so happy to hear I inspired you! I’m totally gonna check out your page when I have more time!
Patrick: Why are there dog tracks on the ceiling??
Gerard: *holding their new dog up to the ceiling* Spider-Dog, Spider-Dog, does whatever a Spider-Dog does.
Patrick: How do you react so calmly when haters say you’re not hot anymore?
Gerard: Them choosing to be liars is none of my business.
Gerard: I wanna change the world.
Patrick: For the better?
Gerard: *sweating*
Patrick: Answer me
Gerard, wearing a Halloween costume: What do you mean I’m not even scary??? I literally almost scared the life out of a man!
Mikey: You literally scared a little saliva and a little urine out of him.
Patrick: What the hell were you thinking??
Gerard: ... releasing birds at a wedding is romantic.
Patrick: You released OSTRICHES!
Gerard: My gender is a mystery but I am very sexy and dangerous.
Gerard: I guess you could call me a “them fatale.”
Gerard: Arson?
Gerard: Oh, you mean “crime brûlée.”
Patrick: I’m breaking up with you.