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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
styofa doing anything
Mike Driver
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
will byers stan first human second
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
$LAYYYTER

if i look back, i am lost
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@bisoueffleurer
Sound ON!!
stuoidnmentlaheslth a all a tepid mental healthwalkbsrulidptbsbmenalhealthwalj stupid mental health walk
nowhere else
Advice from 4500 years ago.
cancel your plans we’re thinking about the pale blue dot voyager pic tonight
The fact that they’re still tight about this after all these years is so funny to me like they must think about it every single day
(via cottoncandaddy)
LMFAO THE LAST PART
chaotic dorks
I love how they are both as ridiculous as each
“All you came back with was hot Cheetos” literally me
i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it
one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard
really need someone to slonk my shit rn stupid style
I'm thinking of posting this on AO3. Might, might not. Since you asked me to write this. Here is part 1.
The first time is, oddly enough, with Yennefer.
It happened when Yennefer had invited the bard for a drink after he had split with Geralt for the winter. She had honestly thought that the unresolved tension between the two men would have been sorted by now, but she guessed it was on point for the both of them due to Geralt being so emotionally stunted and Jaskier being, actually, she didn’t know why Jaskier never said anything of his feelings towards the witcher or of the incident on the mountain, however, she did know that it wasn’t her place to meddle.
Not to mention without all the insults and disdain they would share, it actually became rather easy to like the bard and with the new friendship that they were slowly and steadily working on she came to the realisation that she knew next to nothing of the bard. So she had invited him to a drink on the condition of getting to know each other. Hence, their current predicament of being a bit drunk off of the cheap wine that the inn had offered while the bard was sharing childhood stories.
"When my father and I would go out to hunt frogs out by the ponds near our estate, my mother would always come with us. Sometimes we’d just be there to catch frogs and go straight home, and other times the outing would have turned into a ridiculously competitive mud fight, always ending in my father being covered in unreasonable amounts of mud.” the bard was laughing with an unbearably fond look on his face. “Used to drive my one aunt up the wall when we showed up filthy to the bone”
"I thought it was a rule for nobles to be all prim and proper without the time for anything remotely fun in their lives.” Yennefer teased, causing Jaskier to let out another laugh.
"Well, my parents weren’t born nobles.” at her raised eyebrow, Jaskier explained.
"Funny story really. My mother was expecting me when they were making a trip to Lettenhove, and my father wanted to make a detour through Tretogor. And while they were there they saved a little girl from getting kidnapped, they escorted her back home and found out she was the princess of Redania." Jaskier took a sip of the wine before continuing, "Both of my parents were rather weary after the man had proclaimed that he was the king, and he kept offering them rewards. In the end, out of desperation, he offered them land with noble titles. Said it would be a good thing for their unborn child, they ended up settling on Lettenhove."
"Why was he so desperate to reward your parents?" Yennefer found the story borderline unbelievable. "Apparently the princess was rather taken with my parents and on the spot after reuniting with her father, she had proclaimed that my parents were to be her new aunt and uncle, and that I was to be her baby cousin she had also told her father that she wouldn't take no for an answer." The bard had the audacity to shrug at that. "Growing up, she'd pop over and spend the winter in Lettenhove with us. She's actually coming down this winter with her husband, children and grandchildren"
Before Yennefer could ask for him to elaborate on the "Grandchildren" part, Jaskier began to divulge more stories of his childhood. The stories ranged from tales of his parents, his aunts, his cousin, his older adopted sister and even to the origins of his name.
Turns out that on one side of the Lettenhove estate there was an entire field of buttercups. His mother had gone into labour during an outing there and decided to name him after the flower. Yennefer was unfortunately too drunk to ask why his parents were spending time in a field of poisonous flowers.
As the night wore on, Yennefer learnt that beyond all else, Jaskier loved his parents more than anything. While she wouldn't admit it out loud, she could admit to herself that the stories of Jaskiers childhood filled her with both envy and longing.
The stories also explained quite a bit of Jaskiers character.
How he was always so passionate about his music. "My father adores music, although not as much as he adores my mother.” “Ever since I was born he used to sing me to sleep, and as I grew older he taught me how to play every single instrument he could get his hands on."
"He always called me his little song bird, still does. When I got my letter of acceptance from Oxenfurt University both of my parents were over the moon."
How he loved strangers easily and readily, but was weary of the love of those closest. "Growing up, my mother would always talk about how you couldn't go through life not letting people in, but that you also had to be cautious as to not get hurt beyond repair by someone you trusted. I came to understand why she would always tell me that when I was a teenager."
As the night passed, the stories went on.
Sorry if it sucks a bit. I've actually never written anything before.
Oh, look at this. I often say to go ahead and write the fic, but this is the first time I actually get the fic. What a rush! I feel the power. And it's you first story, which I cajoled you into writing! I hope it's the first of many more. On that note, let's do away with all those "sorrys". Sorry if it sucks? No, listen. This is your story, that you wrote, and that you are considering sharing with the world. There is nothing to apologize for. Even if it's not perfect, even if some people don't like it, even if some time down the line you read it with embarrassment because your writing has evolved so much... There is still no reason to apologize.
Just write the story and enjoy the process, and suffer the process too because writing is joy and suffering and losing an hour searching for the right word.
Also, I don't know if you are familiar with The Witcher canon or if you only know the series, I suspect the latter, but the fact that the title was granted by the king of Redania is hilarious because in the main books and games timeline Redania is going through a dark phase, persecuting sorceress, elves and anyone remotely "funny". So in this universe King Radovid would be encouraging witch hunts while one of the counts in his kingdom is a literal witch with horns and wings. Hehehe.
Star-crossed
If you would like it as a print you can purchase it at my store <3
I’M ON TUMBLR. WE’RE ALL ON TUMBLR.
Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like ”hey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually aren’t true stripes? They’re called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.”
and another one is like ”wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.”
”actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.”
”I swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today I’m beating your ass.”
love this guy but he has got to stop storing his pills n powders in unmarked ziploc bags
He constantly looks like he has an airfryer and he’s dying to tell you about it.
Living in her walls so I can delete steam games off her computer while she sleeps