It has been some years since I wrote here. The divorce is only final for a month. He got more and more and more abusive, because I stopped being a human being. He came to the house and emptied a room I had been using, then when he finally, after years, returned my things that he took, included a bunch of things from the actual garbage mixed in with the things I wanted.
He acts like I was the abuser.
That makes it easier to do what i should have done years ago and openly and honestly discuss how abusive and mean he was for years. The reason I started writing on this account was that I discovered he'd been reading my paper journal -- probably to see if I was on to his affair -- and I wanted my privacy. If I didn't get that respect, he deserves no more than he gave me.
I've made some new rules for dating:
They must be poly and have experience with poly. I do not want to introduce anybody to poly communication skills
Any man I date has to have had a dick in his mouth at least once; I'm done with dating straight men
Nobody gets to tell me how I feel
I'm not going to be able to make rules and avoid being tricked by another covert narcissist. But I can avoid being triggered in relationships.
The very cool thing is dating people who are into me, who like being around me, who want to spend time with me, and who don't spend months at a time ignoring me because they have unaddressed anger issues.
