This is a firmly 18+ blog due to semi frequent depictions and discussions of sex
I'm a gothic romance artist/writer who focuses on horror and tragic themes which means a not insignificant portion of my content involves things some folk might find disturbing. such as physical and sexual violence, unhealthy or abusive relationships, and occasionally gore and body horror. Please be wary if those topics are difficult for you as I'm not great at always remembering to tag things.
this blog is more of a diary than anything else with the actually finished and polished stuff going up on Finale and Omnibus
A lot of what get posted here is unfinished, and due to my attention span issues, may never be finished or will not be finished for a while.
Links
Where else to find me: Pillowfort/Bluesky/Dreamwidth
Portfolio Blog: @bitchfitch-finale
Writing Blog: @bitchfitch-omnibus
3D Poser Blog: @grey-fuckers-unlimited
That minotaur and sphinx thing: @king-of-the-maze
That post apocalypse thing: @vermins-angel
That came back wrong thing: @griefs-hunger
(Currently open) Commission Info
Random Character Generator v0.1
How To Stained Glass (overview) (full tutorial)
OC Mega List
Tag list and FAQ is below the cut.
Tags:
#inspo: art I find inspiring
#comms: commissions I've done for others
#booster shot: self reblogs (#boost spam is used when multiple self reblogs happen in a shortish period of time
#regularly scheduled programming: posts which have been scheduled, usually go up 9pm or 9am central standard time.
#dilferapy: my NSFW tag
FAQ
What program and equipment do you use for art?
A galaxy note 20, and the app is Infinite Painter.
Gender?
gay.
are you FBCA?
no, FBCA is my monster a la Frankenstein and his son.
On account of the natural disaster my dog wasn't able to go to the dog pub this week and thus didn't get her sandwich turkey she gets every week. In apology for this I made her a hamburger patty, which was served to her on top of her kibble, and now she is searching the house for more hamburger patties.
She seems to believe this was something that has always just been in my house and she never noticed and so if she looks hard enough she'll find more hamburger patties as clearly I summoned one from nothing.
On account of the natural disaster my dog wasn't able to go to the dog pub this week and thus didn't get her sandwich turkey she gets every week. In apology for this I made her a hamburger patty, which was served to her on top of her kibble, and now she is searching the house for more hamburger patties.
Professor Vann had to admire his students for their tenacity. It had been many years since someone broke into his personal quarters in quest of some artifact or tome that would grant them insight on an upcoming exam, so for them to pull out this trick after such a dry spell was almost entertaining enough for him to let them succeed. Unfortunately they were going to get themselves killed if he didn't step in and his colleagues wouldn't be particularly happy with him if he let that happen.
The students, a trio too far along in their schooling to still be called "young adults" had broken into his rooms while he was away attending to his classes. The small charm on his door alerting him to their plot as much as the rumors the walls had passed on to him when he was having tea with them earlier.
He let them enter and rummage as he strode from his class to his room, not particularly rushing as catching them red handed with a specific item would make doling punishments easier. When he did come to his own door he knocked on it twice before entering to find it unsurprisingly empty of wayward students.
"Oh where, oh where did I leave my glasses?" He spoke, acting as though it was to himself. He was old enough to get away with it most of the time. "Truly you'd think after needing them for two centuries I'd have stopped losing them so often..."
He heard a frightened voice squeak from under his bed as he stepped too close. A short "sh" coming from beside it. Two found, only the third to go.
"Hmm..." an absent minded knock against his wardrobe resulted in the final student jolting so hard the whole thing shook. "If only I had three bright and wonderful young women to help me find them... Perhaps them showing an old man a little compassion by assisting him in such a way would result in fewer hours spent doing clerical chores after their dear professor finds them lurking about in his private rooms."
"No, no no. Hold the line!" One of the two under the bed hissed while the second clamored from beneath it. She dusted off her blouse and open robe, her eyes downcast with mock shame.
"I tried to tell them this was a bad idea." Ms. Amanda Ripley, a teachers pet to the highest degree, stated. "Also your glasses are on your head, sir."
"Ah, would you look at that!" he flipped them down onto the bridge of his nose. "Now would Ms. Yusupova and Ms. Antuma like to come out as well?"
There was a groan from the cupboard as Leila Yusupova, the leader of their little cohort, stepped out. Tahel Antuma, the mousiest, crawled from under the bed. All three women hung their heads and did their best to look remorseful despite that clearly not being the case.
"Ms.Yusupova, Is there anything you'd like to place in my hand before I look your way? Perhaps I simply forgot I had picked it up." Professor Vann didn't want to be harsher than the situation required. It may have been many years but he still certainly remembered being young and stupid from anxiety over his grades like they were.
He was expecting one of his notebooks of arcane wisdom to be placed in his outstretched hand, not a picture frame.
"What were you three even looking for anyways?" he expected it would be one of the many he had of himself and the dean of their school, or perhaps one from when he was young enough for his hair to still have color. He wasn't expecting to see a picture he'd kept hidden away for decades when he brought it forward to look at it. "This... couldn't be what you were seeking."
"It wasn't..." Yusupova said with a sigh. "You mentioned knowing a method to summon a stronger familiar. We have our summoning next week and well... You and the rest of the staff are always going on and on about pushing ourselves and taking every bit of the power that we can earn. Why shouldn't we get the strongest familiar's we can?"
"Your conviction is admirable, but did you not listen when I told you summoning a familiar stronger than what would come to you naturally is a grave danger?"
"The Dean says you summoned your familiar when you were nine- What nine year old could support Any familiar?"
"When was the last time you saw my familiar?"
"It's the bird in that instant painting, isn't it? You had to be thirty and it was still fine. Clearly a wizard can grow to make themself good enough for any familiar-"
"Ms. Yusupova, this was made only weeks before my poor little Rook was killed," the image was so small that Rook was only a black blur on his shoulder. He stared at his own smile, not being able to bring himself to look at the other men in the photograph.
"What?" she paused, apprehension in her gaze. She clearly understood that it was a great loss to lose a familiar of over twenty years, but not how it could make a wizard like him so insistent that his students push themselves in every aspect of their craft besides this one.
"Yes... I suppose it's a good thing the story has faded from the rumor mill. It was such a dreadful time."
"Professor..." Ripley spoke up, her brain had whirred away until it came up with the obvious solution to her and her friends current conundrum; getting the geezer to talk about some old story until he forgot to punish them for breaking into his rooms. "What happened? It seems like something my classmate might need to hear."
"Hmph. Yes, it probably is. Do you see this man here? The one in our old uniform. That was my dearest friend in the entire world. We met here in our very first class and we were absolutely inseparable. That other fellow beside him was his familiar."
"Wait- That's a human!" Ripley's faux-interest suddenly became real. "Familiars are supposed to only be Animals. I've heard of some taking human form under exceptional circumstances- to save their summoner or something, but I didn't know they could just, be human."
Professor Vann laughed. "Yes, that is true of all but the most powerful. A familiar's shape is not easily changed and they are all molded after animals. But the very most powerful, the ones who could rival most of your teachers in power, may choose to take other forms. Lavi was something astounding.
"Never before or since had I seen a familiar as powerful as him... He is why I forbid my students trying to summon familiars they are not strong enough for. Anta, my friend, was skin and bones. He slept near constantly and had to work so hard to keep enough magic flowing through him and into Lavi that he had burns in his every vein. He couldn't keep up with Lavi even when Lavi did everything he could to take up as little magic as possible... Hell, I think half the reason Lavi spent so much time as a human was so he could take care of Anta better."
"There had to have been a way to keep him sustained." Yusupova stared at the picture like she was seeing a prize she had never known she needed before. "You kept Rook fed beyond your means, didn't you?"
"There were many. And Anta pursued every last one. I and the Dean helped where we could, the three of us were a triad like you girls are, and eventually it all balanced out. It was precarious, and I never envied the work it took."
"So, then what happened? It sounds like things were fine after he adjusted" Yusupova scowled.
"Lavi was incredibly powerful. Anta could feed him, but often he couldn't control him or the effects he had on Anta's magic. I know it was an accident. I knew it then too.
"We had been out in the maze training. It was just a game of capture the flag, Rook and I were winning, Anta gave Lavi a spell to cast to knock Rook out of the sky. Nothing that should've done real damage but... but it did. Anta had fed too powerful of a spell into Lavi and Rook paid for it with his life."
There was silence from the women as the weight of century old grief settled back over the room.
"I'm so sorry," Antuma said, she laid her hand on his sleeve. Her condolences as genuine as she always was.
"How was Anta punished?" Ripley asked, her tone less sure than her words. "That- Rook would have been old enough that his death would have been classed as murder, right?"
"It would have been... We are not bound by any law but our own. You know that. No council nor king, only the wider community's will. The punishment for your actions are others' reactions to them.
"I... could not express to you the rage I felt when I held my little Rook's body. All that pain and grief boiled into something dangerous, something Anta knew was coming for him. I was not a powerful enough caster to have a chance against him and Lavi. He knew that, but he also knew I wasn't thinking straight. I wanted death, and I didn't care whose it was.
"He was my best friend. He'd known Rook for years and loved him almost as much as I did. He was grieving too, and wracked with his own guilt...
"He dispelled Lavi, and I ... No one ever attempted to punish me for what I did."
"You killed him," Ripley was looking at him like he was a stranger again.
"And I have regretted it every single day," he sets the frame back where it belongs tucked away behind a box of things he has not touched in a century and straightens himself up with a sigh. He unfortunately still had a job to do so he looked to his students and said, "A familiar is a grave responsibility. We let them chose us because when you take a familiar stronger than yourself you are wielding a power you definitionally can not control. If you want a more powerful familiar, become a more powerful wizard."
He got a chorus of nods, some more accepting and eager than others, before he escorted them from his room with a wave. They were good students and would make for phenomenal wizards, however like all others in their field ambition was a venomous snake they wore around their shoulders with pride.
It was only later he realized Ms. Ripley's plan to get them out of trouble had worked perfectly.
You know. My absolute favorite play is Hadestown, and I've been lucky enough to attend a Lot of plays because my mother loves live theater and has made going every so often a major part of her life and takes me with her because like. we're literally friends. ok. so me saying a play is my favorite is not from lack of exposure to other plays.
but im thinking about how my mother and I are going to go see the stage recording in theaters next week and im realizing the theater showing is going to be the first time I've Actually seen Hadestown. Like. visually.
My eyesight is shot so I can't actually see a stage if im sitting in the audience, but a pro recording that's framing the scene and blasting it to IMAX size? That I can usually make out pretty well. so anyways I can't wait to see my favorite play for the first time
Idk I keep seeing people talk about Karl's medical knowledge and I just. I don't think K. Heisenberg knows jack fuck about medicine. I think he could break down a human body and put it back together Perfectly with the same ease as a mechanic working on a Toyota Corolla. But if you pointed to any mildly obscure organ or muscle or bone and asked him what it was, he'd tell you what it did instead of naming it.
Because he does not know it has a specific name. He is Entirely self taught when it comes to the butcher shit and so he has applied principles from the thing he does know, mechanics, to the thing he had to learn to survive.
Phasmophobia changed how tall the player characters are and it fucked me up so bad after like 200 hours in this game. I feel like I had an extra bone inserted into my shins
Facing fate was difficult when you were young. Expectations could crush you beneath their heel. Your back would snap from the duty you did not ask for being put on your shoulders. Then there was the pain of knowing you never had a choice in the matter. It was all fated. You never had a choice.
As a old cook more than a little used to it though... Well, it was a lot of the same issue but with more knee problems and less ability to give a shit about any of it.
Jeremiah's ancient little sedan trundled up the gravel stone path of his driveway. The thing was running on fumes after he spent the last hour or so burning the last of the fuel driving in slow circles through the back roads around his rural home. A last bit of rebellion and revelry in the life he'd found here before he went and faced the music.
The evil he had fought as a young man would rise in his home world once more, the binds he had put on it having grown weak with time. His self imposed exile had bought so much more of it, allowing him to pop in every couple hundred years to spruce up the place before fucking back off to his peaceful life with pockets full of real gold coins and lavish jewelry that no one ever mentioned when he returned. But no longer would he be able to do that. He was old now, his life would soon find it's close and it was high time he found a successor to take over his work. He just hoped they wouldn't be as willing to isolate themselves as he was.
He stepped out of his car after parking it, hesitating on every step as he reminisced and fussed over problems that had not yet come. His red brick home with it's black roof and dense covering of ivy was the perfect place for an old man to say good bye. But, but, why was his bedroom window boarded up? He'd been gone a few weeks on this last sabbatical but Surely nothing Too bad could have happened? Gwyn, his roommate he found so someone could inherit this place and look after it when he was gone, must have just... broken it. For some reason.
The door to his home slammed open, Gwyn looked beyond furious with him. He stalked with enough malace towards the man he didn't know was a feared and respected sorcerer of unimaginable power that it had Jeremiah taking a step back. Impressive considering Gwyn was a slight creature who looked the definition of 'bookish'.
"Hello, what happened to my window -" Jeremiah might not get to find an apprentice if the shade of anger red Gwyn turned was anything to go by.
"You Absolute Mother Fucker."
"It's nice to see you too, Gwyn. How's Jeremiah the frog? I presume you were both well in my absence?"
"I'd say you have a lot of fucking explaining to do, but unfortunately I think I've already Pieced it all together," he points towards the door with a glare that is not to be ignored. Jeremiah decides to hesitate less and walk more.
"Do help an old man out, what has happened?" he turns to cast a glance over his shoulder at Gwyn as he passes the threshold into his home, "I'm not as fast as I used to be, you'll understand when you're..." he trails off as he faces back the way was walking and very abruptly realizes what the issue might be.
A nacyl, a sort of very large wolf person who were not uncommon in Jeremiah's homeland, was stood in the doorway to his kitchen. The poor man had to hunch to fit in the low cielinged space, but his expression was one of pure 'doneness' as Gwyn would put it. Wholey accepting of the situation at hand and beyond the point of caring. He wore greaves and what seemed to be one of Gwyn's old oversized sleep shirts. A garment that fit Gwyn like a very loose, short dress but which fit this nacyl like an extremely tight cropped tee. He was holding a cereal bowl of canned spaghetti product and a spoon that was comically small in his big furry mitts.
"Ah, a visitor. How nice. Gwyn you could have just said we had company," Jeremiah was too old for any sort of high adrenaline activity, but angering Gwyn to such a degree was starting to give him the same high active battle once did. "A emissary of Bustmala I presume? Oh I know I was dragging my feet a bit but I didn't expect such... a comfortable looking envoy."
"Sorcerer. You have my greetings," the nacyl rumbled before shuffling off to go sit on the ratty grey couch. Given the amount of fur on it the fellow must have been here for at least few days and had made his claim to it in that time.
"Human Jeremiah."
"Oh. You're using the full name huh? I didn't think you the sort who would be so cross over having a visitor."
"That's not why I'm mad. If he'd just shown up Yeah I'd be a Little upset, but mostly wowed by the whimsy of finding out my Roommate is a Legendary Wizard. That would have been cool. What Wasn't cool was getting surprise teleported to an entire other universe because You were late and they were desperate. They Thought I was You, Human Jeremiah."
"I didn't think being mistaken for me would be this much of an insult to you."
"I was trapped there for Weeks. I didn't know if Jeremiah was alive or dead in his tank! I had," he whips around to point at the nacyl, who was doing a very good job at pretending to not listen while he ate his canned spaghetti product despite his ears being quirked their way, "That Asshole breathing down my neck and trying to stop me Leaving. Thank God the sorceress they found to try and keep the show going while you were MIA could send me home. Unfortunately," he gestures to the nacyl with more emphasis, "That Asshole got teleported back with me. We didn't know You were the one they were looking for. For Days we just had to Wait out what we thought was going to be the end of the world!"
"I assume his name isn't 'that asshole'"
"It's Commander Conrí Katona, sir," that asshole piped in.
"We only figured it out because he was Sulking so bad about it I offered to let him borrow one of your-" he puts his hands up to do very exaggerated air quotes "-Fiction," he repeats the action a few more times for emphasis, "Books."
"Is that what happened to my window?"
"Yeah, sorry about that. Got handed the bedtime story book I read to my kids, who I haven't seen in weeks and who I thought were all dead. Realized what had happened. Threw it."
"Shut up! Both of you! I wasn't able to learn that much while stuck there because of Someone-"
"That wasn't my fault."
"- So all I was able to gather from your stupid collection of Mystic Fucking Tomes was that We might get to choose a time to go back too. You know, before your home world Ends? Is that right? Or are the two of us about to get mauled by that chuckle fuck?"
"You've known my name longer than him."
"Shut it!"
Jeremiah stared at him with a neutral expression.
"Are you just not going to say anything?"
"If I recall correctly you told me to 'Shut Up'."
"Don't do this right now. Just fucking Don't."
"Sigh. Commander, do you know if this sorceress used the charge on my teleportation charm I'd set up in preparation for my return to summon our calm headed friend?" he wishes he could bottle the expression on Gwyn's face.
"I couldn't tell you. Exac'coso didn't bother to say what she was doing to the muscle. My job was just to make sure no one gave you trouble until you were ready for the grand skirmish. Not to question her."
"Ah. Did she have a large sorta plinth looking thing with her at the time of her attempt? 'Bout yay high, dark stone, hums ominously."
"Yes sir, she did."
"That complicates things... But, but, So long as we move fast I'm sure we can gather the necessary supplies to get everyone back where they belong."
"When would we be returning, sir?"
"Well, if I have my way we'll be back soon enough for you to tuck your kidlets in without them having to go a single night bedtime storyless."
The tension Conrí had carried without Jeremiah even noticing he was doing so left him so abruptly that there was a moment both humans briefly thought he was fainting.
Gwyn would have presumed it was from the relief of knowing he wouldn't be returning to children who didn't remember him as anything but an abandoner, or worse, that he'd be returning to a world where they were all long since killed in the turmoil to follow the reawakening.
Jeremiah would have presumed it was because of the canned spaghetti product. That can't be a good thing for a dog man to be eating, and knowing Gwyn there was a non zero chance it was all the poor sap had been fed while in their home. Jeremiah would have fainted himself if he was forced to live off that glop for any period of time regardless of the situation he was in.
Idk OG Orion and Hauke are about being endlessly alone and Angry about what a shit hand life gave you, only to be shown compassion for the first time ever and worrying endlessly if this is another sick joke. Bc like. Haukes a ghost. If he gets the love and care he was never shown in life, wouldn't that fulfill the requirements to soothe his spirit and make him move on? Is he going to be allowed to be happy for only moments before it's all taken away?
And then New Orion and Hauke is about Hate. Hauke isn't angry and bitter, he is outright hateful of the world and violent about it. Lashing out and being able to do nothing only for this guy to show up and slowly start loving him and it feels good and he's happy and he thinks it's all fine but then it's not. Orion is just like Haukes mother. He loves the idea of Hauke and not Hauke himself and any deviation from this role they've cast him in is punished. He's still trapped and still hates but now he feels like he's finally gone insane because wasn't being loved all he ever wanted? Why can't he just accept He isn't lovable unless he's someone else and just play the part.
Like ok I hand you two books. One is about a ghost terrified of being happy because he doesn't want to 'die' now that he has something to lose. and the other is about a ghost who is so incredibly pissed off he can't kill things with his own hands while his situationship is dressing up his decrepit corpse like it's a doll. Which book sounds better to you?
Idk OG Orion and Hauke are about being endlessly alone and Angry about what a shit hand life gave you, only to be shown compassion for the first time ever and worrying endlessly if this is another sick joke. Bc like. Haukes a ghost. If he gets the love and care he was never shown in life, wouldn't that fulfill the requirements to soothe his spirit and make him move on? Is he going to be allowed to be happy for only moments before it's all taken away?
And then New Orion and Hauke is about Hate. Hauke isn't angry and bitter, he is outright hateful of the world and violent about it. Lashing out and being able to do nothing only for this guy to show up and slowly start loving him and it feels good and he's happy and he thinks it's all fine but then it's not. Orion is just like Haukes mother. He loves the idea of Hauke and not Hauke himself and any deviation from this role they've cast him in is punished. He's still trapped and still hates but now he feels like he's finally gone insane because wasn't being loved all he ever wanted? Why can't he just accept He isn't lovable unless he's someone else and just play the part.
spooky twinks and theocidal tendencies @bitchfitch - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
