On reading historical grimoires when it feels like an impossible task:
The internet has done some really amazing things for us, including but not limited to giving us free access to historical grimoires allowing for use and study in a way it has never been accessible to so many before.
But the task of selecting, reading, and comprehending these books is large and daunting. I personally believe its a huge contributing factor as to why people don't even start, they're already overwhelmed at step one and it becomes to much for them to handle. For me personally it was really difficult to start because I had convinced my self it would be an impossible task and that with how busy I was I would never be as learned or successful as occultists before me.
So here's a short list of some of what I did to get over the initial hump of picking up a book, and how to continually digest the material I'm reading. These might seem like stupid and obvious things for some people, but for other people maybe not. If these things are obvious to you personally, then feel free to ignore this post, it's clearly meant for people to which the solution is not quite so apparent.
Selecting a book: Just Pick One Already! No but really seriously. Just pick one. You can go on and on for weeks, months, or even years, debating and deciding which book is best for you to start with. Because these are controversial historical items whose contents you can't know until you begin reading them, you can loose your self in determining which you should start with. Need someone to pick for you? I personally go ham for Agrippa, since that's where I started.
But Creature, these books are so long, how the hell do I find the time? Well are you on a deadline? Is there an assignment due at the end of the week? Try to remember that you're learning independently, there is no date which you need to be finished by, no dissertation due at the end of the week. Set aside how much time a night or a week or some such variation to read and study for. A half hour a night? An hour a week? Progress is progress.
Keeping with the last point, while there are no deadlines for you to meet, creating self imposed goals can really help forward momentum. "I've decided I'm going to finish this chapter by the end of the week" can really help motivate you to keep going, and being task oriented can give you a sense of accomplishment with each new thing you finish.
Okay, but all the thoust and thine and mine are really hard to navigate, how can I even be sure I comprehend what I'm reading? This is the most difficult part about reading any historical work, and I'll let you in on a secret. Most of us are just, muddling our way through. We do the best we can to understand context and put together the pieces. Some people reading these are literal historians who are trained in how to read and interpret these texts within the context of when they were written. Don't expect to be one of those people (unless you're literally going to take classes on it).
Take notes, compare and contrast, and research. My last point here is that if you want to actually retain the material you're reading it can be very helpful to write down notes and thoughts. Screw the notion that you need a fancy leather bound book and a gold fountain pen to take notes in. Get your self a shitty notebook and some pens from the dollar store and take notes. This will help tremendously with the above point. If you're really confused about a passage and its wording, look it up and write down in your own words what you think it means. Seriously this will save you hours of confusion and trying to remember what the hell you read last week and what it meant.
To help with the above, talk to other occultist. Get their opinion on the grimoires you're reading and how they interpreted this or that compared to how you did. Read other people's posts and opinions, and decide for your self what you want to take from it. Dig through the tags, look up key words from what you read, search through blog posts and websites. It doesn't have to be heavy reading or academic level research. Just brows around and once in a while you'll come across something that clicks and puts what you read into better context.
Finally, work the grimoire. Try some of the spells. Practice some of the magic. One of the best ways to absorb and understand something is to do it. You can read all day about how to do do CPR but until you've gone through the motions "compressing the chest 1 1/2-2 inches" is just a concept. There'a a reason the AHA has you practice on those dummies, reading the material is not the same as going through the motions.
I hope some of this was helpful information, and that you can feel a little less stressed about taking the first steps into the rabbit hole of research based magic. Remember this is meant to be fun! This is something you're choosing to do because you want to, it shouldn't feel like a chore so much as a relaxing or exciting part of your week that you look forward to 🕷
