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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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Not today Justin
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@bitebi-blog
he loved me. he was a complex person with layers of percolating emotions, some of them spiritual, some tortured in a more secular way, and he burned for me. this complicated flame of being was mine.
no one belongs here more than you by miranda july (via louis2k10)
pxdestal.
he nods his head reminded of how the other male had truly wanted a family, even if he lved the independent part of his life. arden hadn’t wanted that, not this early, perhaps he should have worded it better instead of saying never. arden laughs and says, “yeah, but it’s what you’ve always wanted in a way right?” he asks. arden shakes his head and says, “na, i’m still rolling on the single express. i mean i’ve have a few flings here and there but, guess i just haven’t found the one or whatever you want to call it,” he hums taking a sip of his drink, eyes never leaving the raven haired male.
‘ eh, i suppose so... i mean, i wasn’t planning on settling down before the age of thirty, but then it just kind of happened ! besides, when you meet that special someone, all the plans that you’ve made for yourself get thrown out of the window and you just kinda go with the flow ! like shit man, i had plans to sit on my ass all day, get high as fuck and live off my dad’s money for the rest of my life and look at me now : i’ve got a stable job, i pay for my own stuff and i've been sober for, like, three weeks that’s nearly a month, dude ! anyway, i’ve totally forgotten where i was supposed to be going with this, but if it wasn’t for him, i’d be a totally different person right now; it’s a scary thought well, there’s nothing wrong with being single. for example, you get to fuck whoever you want without having to worry about somebody else’s feelings and you don’t have to sit through awkward dinners with your partner’s side of the family ! ’
he can’t outrun the sentiments that poison his body. they make him sick, vulnerable, w e a k. they rot him inside-out.
( && )
how do you heal from such internal damage? in reality, he knows he can’t. —— but there’s no way he’ll be eaten alive by his own conscience.
he resorts to drugs, to alcohol. to the numbness it gives him no matter how temporary.
pxdestal.
arden smiled as he pulled himself away from the hug and lead him over to a pair of bar stools. “yeah, i don’t trust suri in the slightest. on the way to rehearsals last week she almost drove me into a lake,” he huffs picking up his drink. “yep, we’re still together, going strong,” he chuckles. “yeah, lets get you a drink,” he nods, “i’ll buy the first one,” he tells him, buying the male his normal drink before turning to him and swallowing, “so, how are the husband and kids?” he asks sipping at his drink. he doesn’t care much about talking about the males husband or his kids, but he figures it’s best to start with small talk that allowed them to catch up before talking nonsense like they always had.
taking a seat, the raven brings his hands up to rest them against the bar in front of the two, thanking the bartender for his drink before swinging his body around so that he’d be facing the male, giving him his undivided attention. ‘ everyone’s doing pretty well, actually ; nothing’s really changed since we last spoke, but we finally moved into our new place and the husband wants another child, so i’m pretty sure that we’re going through with that i’m still not used to bein’ in a super serious relationship, though. like, instead of doing what i wanna do twenty-four seven, i’ve always got to think twice about my actions to make sure that it won’t impact my family in a negative way, y’know ? it’s... it’s not like me, i guess. ’ he pauses momentarily to take a small sip of his drink, shoulders shrugging. ‘ how ‘bout you ? how’s your love life going ? have you got yourself a missus yet ? ’
normalityx.
❛ i love you like — you don’t even know. ❜ he struggles to find the right words, not wanting to seem any angrier than he already is. living in your own truth is a hard thing to do & thomas understands that. ❛ just doesn’t seem like you really want to be with me. not if we can even hold hands walking down the street together cause you’re afraid. — just forget i said anything, loki. you should get back before they start to wonder where you are. ❜
‘ you love me ? that’s... shit, i love you too, dude ! and i get that i’ve got a really weird way of showing it, but believe me, i fucking love you... a lot. ’ he takes a moment to carefully plan out his next words, fingertips beginning to claw away at his very own jeans. ‘ it’s not that i’m afraid to come out, because i’m not, really ! it’s just that i don’t feel like i’m ready to take that step yet ; it’s a big thing for me and i want to let people know in my own time if you’re not okay with that then maybe we shouldn’t be together right now. after all, i just want you to be happy and it’s starting to seem like i’m preventing that from happening. ’
ofbeligerence.
valencia watches the other with a small frown of distate on her face. watching the female put her clothes away back in the closet, she just shakes her head and walks over to the bed grabbing a small decorative pillow, unbuttoning her loose shirt and pulling the belt from around her waist. ❝ no, you’re not going to sit in the house all the time and mope over this. ❞ she places the pillow against her stomach and wraps the belt around it, making it tight so the pillow stays in place. ❝ we can go out together like this and call it a day, ❞ she grins. ❝ they’ll be so busy looking at me they won’t even be worried about you unless they’re looking at how good you look. ❞
‘ you’d really look like an idiot for me ? this has got to be the nicest thing that you’ve ever done, i honestly can’t believe it ! i... i have no words. ’ smiling’s her way of saying thank you, so that’s exactly what she does as she pulls herself up off the bed and slips into her dress, topping her rather simple outfit off with jacket she’s still not too happy about her current situation, but valencia’s actions have definitely installed some kind of confidence within the twenty-five year old ! ‘ are you sure you wanna go out like that, though ? don’t want you feeling like you have do it ! ’
heeey! so i was wondering if it's okay if i use your stats as a template for my own?
yes yes, i’m totally fine with that !
pxdestal.
@bitebi
Arden sat at the bar gripping tightly to his drink waiting for his friend to show up. He glanced at his watch and over to the door. Noah was late, not that Arden blamed him. He had more responsibilities now, which was why this meeting was a sort of reunion for the pair. It was their first night out together in a long time. Arden sipped at his drink and glanced to the door. As soon as he saw Noah, his smile brightened. “Hey!” He cheers standing up from the barstool and walking over to Noah wrapping his arms around the other in a tight hug patting his back. “It’s good to see you again,” he smiles slightly. There had been a time when they had something, but that had been awhile ago, they wanted different things, and it ended. Now the other male was married with kids, and Arden was now apart of a world famous band and touring most of the time. Things had changed, but he hoped in the most different of situations they could still be as close as they had always been.
the raven’s had a rather busy today, so being late was inevitable. if it wasn’t his boss making him work overtime, it was his siblings pestering him with little requests here and there or his husband needing his help with something ! ‘ dude, i’m so sorry for being late. ’ and that’s all he can manage to say before he’s unexpectedly pulled into the other’s embrace, a wave of laughter immediately falling past his brims, smile beaming. ‘ had to finish of some paperwork for my boss and then i stupidly decided to drive home and take a shower ! i was, uh, trying to text you in the car, but siri was being a fucking cunt and she kept messaging the wrong person ! but it’s great to see you too, mate. how’re things going for you ? are you still with the band ? i’m seriously out of the loop. ’ he pulls away from the taller individual to take in his surroundings, sepulchral hues scrutinising every corner of the somewhat crowded bar as his tongue began to click against the roof of his mouth the thing with his tongue happens when he’s nervous and, well, he’s got every right to be a little timorous in this situation. after all, he hadn’t seen arden in quite some time ! ‘ where were you sitting ? i really need to get myself something drink. ’
inhibitxon.
shoving past the other , he slipped on a pair of gloves to continue his actions when dismembering the deceased person —— a hand raising to gesture him handing over a black plastic bag , crinkling his nose at the sight ( and smell ) beginning to linger around. ❛ not at all ! you have to feed in some shape or form , don’t feel bad about anything that you’ve done. i agree that you could’ve handled it in a better .. and cleaner way ; intercourse can be on hold until we’re fully done, alright ? ❜ the raven responded while trying not to break a sweat , using his elbow to wipe his forehead. ❛ —— c’mere , noie. are you okay ? we’ll head home after this , i promise. ❜
‘ y’know, you kinda look hot when you’re getting rid of body pieces... you should do this more often. it might even get you laid more than usual, who knows ! ’ bloody fingertips reach into the pocket of his jeans to yank out his phone, unlocking the device only to go straight onto twitter. ‘ can i live-tweet this ? the whole entire world needs to know that i’ve got the best husband ever ! seriously, like, have i ever expressed how lucky i am to have you in my life ? i feel like i don’t appreciate you enough ‘cause you’re always doing stuff for me and i’m just... i never do anything for you ! ’ the vampire gives a light shake of his head before sitting himself down against a tree, legs extending with quiet whimper ; his little rampage has left him absolutely exhausted, so all he wants to do is get home, have a quick fuck and then get some sleep ! ‘ i‘m fine, just a little tired, that’s all ; haven’t had a meal like this in quite sometime, so my body’s not really used to being this full do you want me to give you a hand ? i feel useless just sitting here. ’
( @venicelocke )
‘ so, are we actually going to spend christmas together this year or do you plan on bailing on me once again ? i mean, if you’ve already got plans then we could totally move the date of christmas to today ; i’ve got this huge fucking tree that needs to look all pretty and if i’m not mistaken, decorating’s your favourite part of the holiday ! i’ll even let you put the little star on top of the tree just because i’m that nice. ’
bold what applies to your muse: strengths vs. weaknesses!
&& BONUS: put a STRIKE THROUGH each trait that they USED to have, but have unlearned due to character development, trauma, etc. feel free to add more !
s t r e n g t h s :
caring | merciful | brave | determined | forward | flexible | cheerful | wise | clever | humorous | spirited | lighthearted | mature | strong | sentient | generous | loving | calm | calculative | rational | unselfish | controlled | tactful | nurturing | protective | independent w e a k n e s s e s :
panicky | cowardly | unthoughtful | rash | stubborn | intransigent | negative | temperamental | scatterbrained | grim | dull | unwise | unstable | weak | irrational | awkward | greedy | over-protective | over-sensitive | rude | selfish | explosive | tactless | clingy
deflectentes.
‘ yeah, walkin’ an’ talkin’ an’ goin’ to nursery an’ all that. ‘ logan let a soft smile grace her lips at the thought of her little girl. she really was quite bright for her age. ‘ uh —— yeah, you can meet her. i mean, she’s been askin’ ‘bout you so i’m sure she’d love to meet you. ‘ fingers run through her dyed hair, brows furrowing together at his next comment ; she hadn’t expected him to take it this well nor even offer help. ‘ uhm, yeah, that would be ——— nice, good, yeah, cheers. m’sorry for not tellin’ you an’ everythin’. ‘
‘ i’ve gotta talk to my partner 'bout all of this before i start taking out cash, but i’m sure that he’ll be fine with it might take him a day or two to comprehend the situation, but he’s a lot more reasonable than most people ! besides, he’s got kids too, so there’s a very good chance that he’ll be somewhat empathetic. i just... i can’t believe that i’ve got a child ! i mean, i obviously consider his kids to be my own, but this is something that’s biologically related to me ; i’m seriously dumbfound at the moment ! ... can i cry ? am i allowed to do that ? it’s alright, i’m just glad that you eventually decided to tell me ! thank you for that, by the way. ’
Morning sex with soft touches under the sheets and slow, hot kisses peppering jaw lines and lazy thrusts covered by whispered “I love you”’s and small gasps
deflectentes.
logan allows him to go off on his little rant for a while, allowing him to soak in the information she’s just given him. ‘ because, you know me, noah. never one to make a fuss. ‘ or rather, never one to address her problems, always the one to run away from them. ‘ her names koda. she’s three. i don’t know, i just did. but, she was asking questions about who her dad was. ‘ logan paused, allowing the hot liquid in front of her to slide down her throat. ‘ yes, noah. i know. alright ? i already know that. ‘
‘ three ? shit, that means that she’s, like, walking and kinda talking, right ? that’s pretty cool, i guess. ’ soon enough his somber optics begin to drift upwards to focus on the female, lips curving as he offered logan a small smile. ‘ would i be allowed to meet her ? i mean, if she REALLY is my daughter, then i don’t want to miss out on any more stuff i’d like to help out too... financially, of course ; been saving up for about a year now, so maybe i could give you a hand and pay for some necessities ! ’
deflectentes.
‘ well, there’s no time like the present, is there ? no, i never think straight, just say what i need to & hope for the best. ‘ petite hands gripped around the hot chocolate she had ordered, breath of air leaving her currently painted lips in an attempt to cool it down. ‘ well, there’s no time like the present, noah. how do i know ? she looks exactly like you & you’re the ONLY one i’d slept with in that time. ‘
‘ well fuck, i don’t know what i’m supposed to say or do. this is just... holy shit, i’ve got a kid with you ! ’ now, if you’re lucky, you might just be able to hear the excitement in the raven’s voice. however, don’t let that confuse you ; he’s still definitely in a state of shock ! ‘ what’d you name her ? how old is she ? why'd you wait so long to tell me ? ... i’m sorry if it seems like i’m asking a lot of questions right now, but i can’t fucking wrap my head around the fact that you decided to keep this from me you had no right to do that. ’
deflectentes.
❝ m’not fuckin’ lyin’ to you, the kid is YOURS. she’s yours. it’s not that hard to fathom, she’s yours. ours. ❞
‘ jesus fucking christ i haven’t seen you in years and this is the first thing you decide to lay on me ? what the actual fuck, logan. are you, like, thinking straight ? am i being punk’d ? y’know that this isn’t funny, right ? ’ noah’s honestly far too stunned to even move, body refusing to cooperate with his brain he wants to run, but his legs feel like jello ! ‘ when i agreed to meet you for coffee, this wasn’t what i pictured. ’ and cue the overwrought titter, hues settling on the cup before him. ‘ how do you know she’s mine ? i want a paternity test. ’
fluoresccnt.
‘ je suis si fatigué,’ he murmurs, his statement so true that isaac is mumbling away in a language that they probably won’t understand. his speech is a little muffled anyway, with the way he’s burrowed his head into his pillow. he throws an arm over them, as if in his languid state it’s going to keep them in the confines of the bed. ‘ jus’ wanna stay here, rester. ’
‘ i’ve got no idea what you’re saying, but it sounds lovely you better not be telling me to fuck off, though. ’ a light chuckle falls past her pale brims as she leans over to press a delicate kiss against the other’s shoulder before turning to collect her clothes from the edge of the bed, free hand running itself through her hair. ‘ c’mon, you gotta get up and take me back to school ; i’ve already skipped one class for you, so i really can’t skip another ! hell, you should probably be getting back too. ’
