BG3 Obsession Sideblog

[enchanted-by-the-reaper]

[astarion-my-beloved]

Astarion: What is this... feeling I'm getting? It's almost like I'm... sad? For someone else?

Tav: It's called sympathy.

Astarion: Get it out of me

[gloryinthunder]

When Durge tries to convince the local printer to put their Durgetash fics in the paper.

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

Lae'zel: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Lae'zel: *aggressively throws water bottles*

Shadowheart: Uh... what's up with her?

Wyll: She's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Lae'zel: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Astarion, crying: It's working.

[blaahspawn]

I feel like procrastinating writing something but I'm completely blanking on what exactly.

If anyone wants to request characters/scenarios for warmup prompts, my ask box is open! Any excuse to not study inspiration to ward off the blank page anxiety would be much appreciated.

[flymmsy]

The art of seducing a Bhaalspawn.

[blaahspawn]

Gale just walked into a trap Astarion was in the middle of disarming and then proceeded to yell at Astarion for it.

[blaahspawn]

Decided to start a third concurrent Honour Mode run in case I lose the one I made it to act 3 or the one midway act 2 with. A wild magic durge sorcerer, because I wasn't having enough blood pressure issues with the other two runs already.

So now I have a morning routine of: 1. Cast Mage Armor in camp 2. Immediately fail a wild surge throw (TWICE IN A ROW NOW), and 3. Almost kill Scratch with accidental thorns or mud mephits. I'm going to die of a heart attack in real life. Astarion had to yeet the mephit away in a panic since they, you know, explode on death and Scratch dashed towards it.

This keeps happening somehow and every time I accidentally kill Scratch I lose the whole run (what's even the point once you lose your dog honestly). Shout out to the one time Gale was dead and Withers dumped his body in front of his tent because I ran out of money for resurrections, and Scratch walked right into his necrotic fucking aura (which just moments before had killed Barcus in Grymforge, as if that wasn't enough).

Another time I aggroed in camp and Volo, helpfully, cast Cloud of Daggers and Scratch walked into that, dying instantly.

At least my caper to save Alfira by casting fog cloud, knocking her lights out and escaping to camp before the guards got there worked. She's alive, if possibly traumatised by that one time she randomly went blind and got beaten unconscious for seemingly no reason. It's for your own good Alfira I promise the alternative was not going to be more pleasant.

[blaahspawn]

One of the things I can't get over is how effectively Gale's introduction establishes him as a book nerd. He just launches into a lecture filled with unnecessarily flowery language immediately after not one, but two back-to-back near death situations. He could not be more of a Wizard(tm) right off the bat.

But then he says "uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?" and motions what is clearly a sewing needle, with a single hand. It haunts me that I can't point this out to him. I can't even decide if he'd be annoyed or impressed about someone matching his "Well Actually" energy.

There needs to be a dialogue option correcting him that unlocks a hate-romance path. You can roast him as a sorcerer but it's not the same to be smug about coincidental, unearned talent. I need my tav/durge to specifically out-nerd him in encyclopedic trivia until he is seething to himself and deeply aroused.

It's also important that you could do this as any other class except as another wizard, none of that respected colleague stuff. He needs to be humbled by a warrior poet barbarian or something before falling madly in love with them.

[dorindameddler]

[scallioncreamcheesebagel]

[hajima-7]

ding ding ding!

[lith-myathar]

[blaahspawn]

So when Priestess Gut knocks you out with the sleeping potion and tells you she'll wait for you to turn into a pet illithid and walks away, how long does she wait before coming back to tell you you should've turned by now? Did she take like a coffee break or did she wait for the maximum of seven days it should take?

I just keep trying to picture the rest of my party awkwardly standing outside her room without any intervention while their leader's chained in a dungeon for hours, let alone days. Like yeah it's fucking goblin magic, could take a year for all we know, let's not check on what's happening. Not like the rest of us are on any kind of deadline.

Gang's just out there making small talk about the weather or something. Playing "I spy with my little eye" ("I spy with my little eye, something that starts with g-" "Is it a goblin again, Astarion?" "Feel free to figure out a new game for us, Gale. We ran out of new things to spy days ago.").

[blaahspawn]

Girl help I knocked Minthara out to get her to appear at Moonrise without raiding the grove and then remembered I hadn't saved Sazza so I went back, but to end her quest and get the dagger the cutscene still needed to trigger. And it did, except Minthara's completely naked, beaten to hell and covered in blood. 😭

We gave her a concussion so massive she doesn't even remember we just beat her unconscious, killed her minions and stole literally every single one of her possessions. She just left to "raid the grove" with a singular hp left to her name and with all the goblins dead. Forget the Shadowcurse, she's about to die from the sheer humiliation of it all. Or the concussion. Or exposure.

[fjordfocused]

can’t get over how fucked the three city blocks of Baldur's Gate we explore is. vampire den, mummy lord, hag lair, no less than two cults, haunted mansion, a demon lord whoring it up, evil clowns. is the rest of the city normal. why do they have a Spirit Halloween district.

[blaahspawn]

He's just so unimpressed with Astarion's cringefail revenge attempt.

[blaahspawn]

Raesyn: Nyeheheh Astarion: Nyeheheheheh

[blaahspawn]

Thinking about the conversation in the Gur camp where upon Astarion telling them their children are dead already, Ulma is feeling hopeful about Cazador possibly keeping prisoners alive "for days" before feeding on them. Party awkwardly glancing at each other because we've spent weeks doing completely random shit. Just frolicking in a swamp killing redcaps even back when we thought we only had less than seven days before dying horrifically. Solving local village politics. Kicking dead adventurers to amuse goblin children.

I absolutely wouldn't want time based events in the game but I do think it would be hilarious if there was a timer that didn't actually lock you out of any content. It would just keep counting the days we've wasted time with Pigeon True Crime. So when speaking to Ulma, instead of vague "days" she would say:

"Cazador could be keeping prisoners alive for more than [56 days, 12 hours and 30 minutes] before feeding on them!"

Lady, we have a dead clown to put back together. God conspiracies to stop. New pajamas to buy. About ten different murders and disappearances to solve. An apple that is an ox that is not an ox to smuggle into the city. Might do a 5-some in the brothel and then dip into Avernus real quick and bone an incubus. We'll get to saving your kids when we get to them, there's a hierarchy to these things. See you in a month or so.

[blaahspawn]

Dying at the mental image that because the party can't go to Upper City and kick Cazador's front door in they just. Can't find the side entrance.

Astarion: "We need to find where the ritual is taking place!" Tav: "Alright, it's held under the mansion, let's go." Astarion: "Good. Now we need to find out how to get in." Tav: "Huh? You've lived in there for 200 years, surely you can figure out a way that's not through Upper City." Astarion: Tav: Astarion: "Look I don't have very good sense of direction you're on your own with this one."

[blaahspawn]

Doing a tactician run for that achievement of multiclassing into every class without Withers and it's going just about as chaotically as you'd expect. Level 5 Bard/Warlock/Sorcerer/Cleric/Wizard, just a complete mess of a character. I didn't even get a feat on level 4. Proficient with heavy armor but with a casters carrying capacity. Proficient in just about every weapon but with abysmal modifiers to melee and ranged attacks.

I got to the Grove party and I was supposed to finally give Shadowheart's romance a chance but Karlach came onto me with a voiceline I've never heard before. How am I supposed to turn her down after she awkwardly tries to do a seductive pick up line, gives up and groans at herself out of embarrassment. Took 1d12 psychic damage refusing.

Also extremely funny how low approval Astarion can be persuaded to say please when he hits on you. I said I'd think about it, talked to everyone else and then came back to ask him again and he turned me down and said he had standards. Crying. Good for you Astarion, sorry about my asshole Tav.