● MY HEART LIES WITH YOU Σ I WISH YOU WELL ● A SELF PARA
A day will never go by that Alec does not think about his family. Every thought, every moment, every breath he inhales, his thoughts are over in Helios. His heart is with his Katerina. And his Katherine. Six months Alec has been gone and it feels like six years. It feels like Katerina’s already grown up without him. It feels like Kate must be happy, and in love and doing something good with herself, something that doesn’t involve him and his mess.
Lucy has graduated high school, Hailey is growing up too fast and too alone without his mother. Six months have passed since Alec met Kate’s mother over in Australia and brought his sisters home to America. He was going to keep his family going. He needed to do that, for his mother, he needed to fucking do that.
He sent letters to Kate and Katerina on a regular basis. He wishes Kate well, god, he hoped she was happy. Guilt has been swallowing him for six months. Guilt made him want to throw up. All he hoped was that she had what she needed, their beautiful girl, rid of her cancer, someone who supported her while he wasn’t there, someone to love her when he couldn’t. He missed his family the most. Never will a day pass that he stops loving his ex-wife, his beautiful baby girl. They were supposed to have more. Katerina should have his father there everyday. To fight the bullies, to dirty her up, to do something. Kate was supposed to have everything. A better husband. A better life. All the fucked up things that happened to her, she didn’t deserve. They were supposed to have more. Alec wanted more children with the love of his life, Alec wanted to be better, for them. And he couldn’t.
He needed to stop jumping in and out of their lives and hurting Kate like that, screwing around with Katerina like that.
If he should ever return to his family in Helios, he will return for good. He will return to support his family. He will return to be a father to his child. He will not return to try and pick up where he left off with the woman who he continued to put second-best. Alec Blackburn will love Katherine Davide until the end of time. But that’s not the point.
Hailey is still growing up and Lucy is working her way through university. While he visits his father in prison once a week, Alec is trying to work two jobs at once while he still gets a cheque off Antonio every couple of weeks and his mother’s savings in the kids’ joined bank account.
Alec has shit to do, and two places to be.
