The Ratings Are Sky High!

mod is @forrest-cryptid

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

We’ve got a fantastic show lined up for you tonight!

Intro post~

Mic test! One two three!

Welcome one, welcome all! The grand host himself, here to dazzle and entertain!!

Who needs truth when you have the hottest gossip??

I live to keep you up with the latest rumours, and to watch chaos ensue!

I am loyal to my master Shadow Milk Cookie…and that little brat candy apple cookie

This lovely face comes from Cookie run kingdom! Perhaps you’ll drop in yourself…perhaps I’ll let you in on a little secret if you do…

Regular posts: reporting live!

Asks: at the mic

Reblogs: on the stage

OOC:

I’ll try to stay in character as much as I can, but forgive me if the mic slips

This is my first offical account, so dont hate on your lovely host! I’ll do my best tho :) Im just here to be full of joy and whimsy (and LIES HAHAHA)

Just to be sure, basic DNI, dont be horrible. My goal is not to truly cause any harm to anyone, and it will not be tolerated.

Asks are open, but any hate or attempt to cause suffering to others will be deleted

Not gonna tag it on every post, but I do not actually condone lying, or spreading rumours and misinformation. When I say that I am JOKING 100%

That wraps up the rehearsal! Now Im ready for the real show!!

Attempt to find my audience!!

Rah@shadow-milk-cookie-offical @satan-offical @homosexuality-offical @god-offical @adam-offical @eve-official @grim-reaper-offical @evil-bread-offical @snake-offical @pinterest-offical @wikipedia-the-non-official @evilducks-offical @offical-offical @officalverse-elections-offical @offical-potato @tea-offical @hatman-offical @sappho-official @cia-offical @duck-offical @rubberduck-offical @oxford-dictionary-offical @leviathan-offical @xen-offical @persephone-offical @small-victorian-child-offical @communism-offical @mcdonalds-darcy-offical @can-tab-eater-offical @red-solo-cup-offical @the-first-imp-offical @grims-horse-offical @tyr-offical @freyja-official @murder-offical @the-police-offical @archangel-raphael-offical @archangel-michael-offical @archangel-uriel-offical @archangel-gabriel-offical @the-holy-ghost-offical @blackout-poetry-offical @plague-doctor-offical @knife-offical @frog-offical rah

[saturn-flowr]

slime teacher: I want this essay in 12 point font Slimes New Roman

[koboldening]

Robber teacher: I want this essay in 12 point font Crimes New Roman

[nugget-gender]

wall teacher: i want this essay in 12 point font Climbs New Roman

[mx-m29]

citrus teacher: i want this essay in 12 point font Limes New Roman

[forgotn1]

poetry teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Rhymes New Roman

[the-breadgirl]

horology teacher: i want this essay in 12 point times new roman

[cellaspider]

Mime teacher:

[mildlybizarrecorvid]

herb teacher: i want this essay in 12 point Thymes New Roman

[minervakarsh]

Dirt teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Grimes New Roman

[hyperoperationfractallisation]

Calculus teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Primes New Roman

[kianf1sh]

logan paul teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Prime New Roman

[i-put-the-hyper-in-hyperfixated]

biology teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Mitosis New Roman

[satan-offical]

Fruit teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Limes New Roman

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

Baking teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Pies New Roman

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

Your children are back because I went to look at Daycare-offical and apparently it's a ghost blog

Huh. Nice!

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

*bursts in the door with my clothes torn and bloody*

I HAVE BEEN RELEASED THE WITCHES HAVE HEARD MY CRIES

[plus-boy-len-offical]

officalverse tag game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

would your user (minus the offical) win against a five year old child? Can be in a fight or any other situation you can think of, js give a yes or no answer and an explanation. most ridiculous answer wins :3

i'll start: i should not be around children at all, but i could beat them in a nosebleed competition with ease. ^q^

@gay-offical @bra1n-offical @gay-news-official @garlic-bread-offical @da-police-offical @itsuwari-no-kibo-offical @lemon-offical @cringysparklecat-offical @lesbian-offical @maomao-apothecary-offical and open tags!!!!!!!

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

Assuming they’e the same size then Smilk would DESECRATE it

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

In a FIGHT…..

But as soon as I tell them Santa isnt real it is OVER

[wartortles-deactivated20180708]

your 12th emoji is how you'll die

[splorgoborgobo]

☕️

[coquette-corpsie]

😀

… joyfully?

[witch-oftheflowers]

😂

Laughing? What??

[wiener-soldier]

💜

Love… hmm, great-

[theinsanefoxwriter]

🩸

Blood…well that’s..fitting…

[hehehehehe-hello]

🥰

Love? Good thing I ain’t in love rn

[alternas-navigation-system]

🥀

my guess is that my flowers died and i got sad that my flowers died and then died of sadness

idk tho

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

🛌 WHAT

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

👀 girl what

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

The Family of Deceit ( @pure-vanilla-cookie-offical @candy-apple-cookie-offical @black-sapphire-cookie-offical ) should all make their reblog tags prepositional phrases. If you do not comply I will uhhhhhhh

[toddsolondz]

STOP BEING HONEST STOP BARING YOUR HEART 2026 IS THE YEAR OF RIDDLES AND ELABORATE LIES

[thatbluerose06]

[satan-offical]

This yuri ain't doomed enough for the both of us *spins pistol*

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

But the yaoi is 😏

[satan-offical]

*smokes oil pastel* art gcse? Haven't heard that name in years

[satan-offical]

JUST KIDDING IM OIL PASTELLING A CHICKEN RIGHT NOW HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

Oil pastelling a chicken?? Girl that can’t be good for the taste

[satan-offical]

Guys...

AI is aware of the officalverse 🙁😔

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

NOOOO

DONT ASK AI ASK LITERALLY ASK ANYONE IN OFFICALVERSE

DONT ASK AI ASK SOMEONE IN THE OFFICALVERSE WE TOO CAN SPREAD YOU INCORRECT INFO AND ACTUALLY BE ICONIC DOING IT

[niyarest]

write your url by only using emojis

🍅✨✨

[do-not-u-dare]

🚫🫵

-

WTF DO I PUT FOR DARE

[themockingbirdnebula]

ℹ🅰Ⓜ🅰🐺🔶

i don’t have a fox emoji on my device wtf 😭

[tophat-offical]

🎩

if I had to describe what I am though. It’d be: 🦪🎩🦷🤤🍄‍🟫

[hitman-offical]

👊♂️

[british-kiwi-lad-offical]

🇬🇧🇳🇿🧑‍🦱

[nixie-offical]

🦈🔬

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

💙🥛🍪

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

🖤🍇🍪

[the-chelseahotel]

Reblog with your listening age according to Spotify

[nixie-offical]

28.

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

54

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

21

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

QUICKLY! I’m dying of No Bitches Syndrome and the only way I can heal is if you send me pictures of Jon Arbuckle NAKED!!!!!!

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

Master…TF you mean no bitches…what about ur husband….and my father…and Candy Apples father….and idk half the fandom???

[satan-offical]

Who says face masks are only for skin care? Time to start eating them for organ care!

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

Make organs smooth and shiny :D be beautiful inside and out!!!

The bugs that will eat your corpse deserve to enjoy pretty things too

[mcdolans]

ha?

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

[semememes-blog]

HOW

[lexiwestiiee]

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET

[takemewherethewildthingsare]

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU

[clariphonete-deactivated2014111]

I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

[wrappingpaper]

there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one

how

[bbassam-deactivated20151227]

i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago

how the actual fuck

[iamsensitive]

well

do not question

[too-hilarious]

I want a doot doot

[surferbobby16-blog]

Y'all better be shittin me

[awkward-scarfy-boi-deactivated2]

do it

[psychlocked]

give me doot doot

[pride-on-a-string]

Please??

[sulferandwater-deactivated20211]

We might break this person

[yetizeus]

doot doot?

[generic-blog-name-69]

Can I have one?

[life-is-arrowing]

gimme a d o o t d o o t

[jesus-christ-super-ace]

doot doot

[finns-glitter-glue-deactivated2]

OH?

[thecrabbybarista]

UPDATE

[parkerpeter24]

I bet I won’t.

[halfblood-princess-505-deactiva]

How bout me?:)

[marvelousell]

Hm🤔

[marvelousell]

OKAY UPDATE SKSKSKS

[holylulusworld]

Okay. Here we go. 😂

UPDATE: 2.253.862 notes and I still got one!

[retromotherfuckers]

i want a doot doot

[god-of-the-sun-hyperion]

I just want a lil doot doot😓

[odysseuscore-deactivated2024081]

im curious..

[just--a--random--human--being]

can i get one?

[dionysus-god-of-all-things-wine]

do me :3

[green-tea217-deactivated2024122]

Ok but is it true?

[dionysus-god-of-all-things-wine]

it took a little bit to get doot dooted for me

[icyredrose]

I gotta test this

[janmutelokan]

mmh

[swallowtailpenis]

doot doot?

[thatparablog2]

I wanna doot doot real‼️‼️

[del3tingalltracezz-deactivated2]

doot doot/

[th3-pr0ph3tt]

…i wanna b dooted :<

[hmmmourhwash-deactivated2025052]

Im testing if its scam or not

[k4bby]

gimme gimme

[wheezecheese]

I don’t believe you

[v11v1-en]

there’s no way

[v11v1-en]

???

[blaxolt]

reblogging 3 times for science

[rinatepaste]

i need to know

[phorbolicious]

…Does this still work?

[no-one-offical]

‎

[jayyyyyy-is-gayyyyyy]

i absolutely need to know if this still works.

[do-not-u-dare]

does this work

[evil-lemonade-offical]

For science

[sillynillian-deactivated2026032]

there’s no way bro it’s been 12 years

[evil-lemonade-offical]

Tis the purpose of the experiment– my hypothesis says it won’t work, yet I feel compelled to try

[evil-man-offical]

I want to try

[daliatheportalmaster]

…Does this work-

[evil-man-offical]

I still haven’t gotten a doot doot

[daliatheportalmaster]

[puts a hand on your shoulder]

I guess you could say… It was noot noot meant to be

[evil-man-offical]

…

I’m leaving

This is the end of evil man offical

Goodbye.

And goodnight

[daliatheportalmaster]

[evil-man-offical]

HOLY CRAP IS THAT TWINK?!

FROM THE HIT GAME “ZEBRA”!?!

[evil-pukicho-real-offical]

holy shit

[enrise-5]

There ain’t no way he’s still doing this

[ririwithrice]

happens

[asexual-bean]

hello

[algae122]

hi

it’s been years but maybe

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

Okay.

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

I simply have to know

Come on doot-doot person lock in!! Your host needs a doot-doot :)

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

Thank darlings! Oh what an honor to win as husband of the year

Of course, to further prove my worth as darling husband, the CRK code is HOTY2025 (crystals, rainbow cubes and Choco chalks) dont say i don’t take care of you all ;)

@shadow-milk-cookie-offical and @candy-apple-cookie-offical are you proud of me 🥺

And of course if you haven’t seen it, a lovely video from this charming voice (ok obviously i don’t know black sapphires VA but I saw this and started tweaking lol (also tho it would be really funny if they knew about this blog))

[shadow-milk-cookie-offical]

Can I take you a bath? You kinda smell like shit :3

Fuck… I just had shaboink time with PV… Yeah sure.

[black-sapphire-cookie-offical]

You just WHAT 😨