My tenure and hours contributed to support this very popular and mostly successful festival are something I will always remember. While heading volunteer teams, including Beverage Gardens and Family Pride, I shared many great moments with my peers. I definitely did my best to have their back when times were tough and motions were stressed. Sadly, when reflecting back it feels as though I had to speak louder and fight harder at times to be heard and gain some of the same support. Often in rooms and meeting where I could find no reflection my ideas felt muted by others or even by myself for fear of exchanging my warm ‘Aunt Jemima’ façade for being seen as ‘another angry black woman’. So I did my best and kept quiet for as long as I could and when I realized I would grow no more there and my genuine circle of support at Pride was quite small and decreasing I departed. Five festivals of relationship building, team leading and energy drained, save a few very kind and dear people, I did not feel missed and received no pleas or requests to return. I understand and appreciate that my time at Pride meant more to me than most of the leadership who remained. That said, my greatest criticism of Pride Toronto is the closed door politicking and gossiping that affected me and I’m sure many other Black and maybe even non-black volunteers of colour. Colour/ethnic/cultural diversification at Pride is critically needed, especially at the staff and leadership levels, to truly represent the communities this organization is meant to serve. Faces and voices on the inside can help amplify and address the concerns of those on the outside. My annual reviews and award recognition by the organization and my peers indicated to me that I did good work. However, following my Prexit (Pride exit) I received trusted word that if I had not been on my own path out I would have been asked not to return. Now surely if my risk of volunteer burnout was a primary motivator for such action, discussions would have taken place and support provided; then again, maybe not. At least constructive feedback given, so I may be better team player and grow more as a person; then again, maybe not. In any case I cannot and will not apologize for giving it my all, after all I am Young, Gifted and Black!
Received Anonymously