A little bit of Blaine and Klaine. If you'd like me to write anything specific, feel free to tell me. I decided to give this whole writing thing a try ;)
Kurt sighed. This friday night went entirely different than he had imagined it. Today was supposed to be his and Blaine's date night. They had planned to go see a movie and maybe hit up a gay bar afterwards. Instead Cooper had shown up out of the blue on their doorstep that afternoon to “surprise his little brother”. After now almost three hours of Cooper's continuous jabbering about shows he wanted to audition for Kurt was exhausted and hoped maybe turning on the tv would shut him up at least until dinner. Turned out Cooper was not at all interested in any news that weren't celebrity related.
“What do you mean “succeeded”. What are you talking about? What does any of this have to do with Blaine?” Cooper's face grew even paler than it had been a minute ago. “You...you don't know?”
“Know what, Cooper? Please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying.” Kurt felt tears well up in his eyes, hearing Blaine obliviously clanging with pans in the background.
“I...I don't think I should...I thought you knew...I...”
“When?” Kurt whispered.
“After...after the dance... I...really shouldn't...” Kurt jumped up from the couch. “Blaine?!”
“I'll be outside...I'll come back in a few hours or so...” Cooper mumbled, but Kurt didn't even hear him anymore. Blaine set the bowl he was holding aside and came over. “Kurt? What is it?...Are you crying?” “Did you try to kill yourself?” He hadn't meant to blurt it out like that but now it happened anyway. Kurt saw the color drain from Blaine's face. “How...? Kurt, I...” “Your brother accidentally told me just now because he assumed, I would know something as important as this about my own fiance!” Kurt felt the anger rising inside him, but fear and sadness were even stronger right now. “Kurt...sit down, come on. Sit down.” Kurt saw how Blaine's hands were shaking as he led him back to the couch. Blaine set down next to him and took a deep breath. “Yes I...I did try to...to kill myself.” Kurt whimpered. Blaine sat there, withdrawn into himself, looking down at his own hands as he spoke. “After the Sadie Hawkins dance I...I wasn't in a very good place. I didn't transfer to Dalton immediately. The bullying only got worse and...I just couldn't take it anymore Kurt. I just wanted it to be over. I felt so empty and life...I didn't know what there was for me to live for. So...one night when my parents were out and Cooper was away at some party...I took a lot of pills and went to bed and hoped that I...that I wouldn't wake up again.” Kurt sniffed.
“What happened...?” His voice was barely a whisper.
“Cooper found me. He came home early because apparently the party sucked...he saw the empty pill container in the bathroom and...” Blaine closed his eyes for a second. “I remember waking up in the hospital to my family crying at my bedside and all I could think about was how much I didn't want to be there. Didn't want to be alive...I got diagnosed with depression shortly after.” Kurt blinked a few tears from his eyes. “But why did you never tell me? I mean...there were enough chances to bring it up, honey. I don't judge you but...” Kurt took Blaine's hands in his. Blaine looked up, his beautiful eyes swimming in tears. Kurt brushed his thumb over Blaine's knuckles “I want to know everything about you. The good and the bad things. I love you.” He brought a hand up to Blaine's cheek to brush away a tear. “It's a very difficult thing for me to talk about, Kurt. Revisiting these feeling is not...I try to avoid going there...it's like this very dark hole inside of me that I don't want to fall into.”
“But you don't feel that way anymore, do you? Like you want to die?” Kurt whispered, the fear clogging up his throat again. Blaine lowered his gaze. “Blaine...” Kurt was almost begging now. “Depression doesn't just go away like that.” Blaine whispered. “But I haven't been depressed for a while now.”
“But you were...after the first time?” Blaine nodded. “When we...when we were broken up I didn't feel like I had anyone to talk to. I just...I felt terribly alone most of the time. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything really. My mom noticed and she forced me to go to see my therapist again. I got a prescription for anti-depressants.” “Are you still taking them?” Blaine shook his head. “Not at the moment, no. Haven't for a while actually. But I...I have some here. I can show you.” Kurt nodded and followed Blaine to the bathroom. Blaine pulled the small orange bottle out of a small bag in the back corner of the bathroom cabinet and gently put it into Kurt's hand. Kurt took a deep breath. “Blaine...I don't know much about depression. I don't know if you can promise to tell me whenever you start to feel like that again, but...please know that I will always listen, okay? I would like you to talk to me about these things. I want to be there for you. Because I love you too much and I don't think I could deal with losing you.” Blaine nodded and Kurt realized that they were both still crying. He pulled Blaine into his arms, gently kissing his forehead, then his lips. “I love you, too.” Blaine whispered. Kurt didn't know how long they were standing there like this, feeling each others heartbeat, but at one point he heard the loft door slide open. “Guys?” Cooper cautiously spoke into the empty room. “I hope you're wearing clothes. I brought take-out!” “Oh right...dinner...” Blaine mumbled against Kurt's shoulder. “Come on, let's go out to Cooper and watch some stupid reality show.. I think we could all use some cheering-up right now.”
