TLDR : Shadow’s motorcycle is a mess that absolutely doesn’t work as a motorcycle.
So… I stumbled upon a gif from Sonic 3, and it was Shadow riding a motorcyle. Ok, pretty badass right? Except the throttle was on the left handlebar. So I innocently thought, oh the person who made that gifset inverted them. Well, after fiding the scene on Youtube, no, they very much placed the throttle on the wrong side. And that sent me into the absolute rabbit hole of how awful his motorcycle is.
So here’s the motorcycle, complete with a BMW sponsor logo because why not. It’s motorcycle-shaped but… well where do I start?
Here’s the bike when it’s introduced, and the close up immediately after is the real bike Stone uses later on in the movie (which seems to be a BMW F 900R, not sure since the scene is very dark and he moves a lot). Notice how on Shadow’s bike there is only one swingarm(part holding the rear wheel) and the wheel has three spokes with no brake rotor visible. Close up right after has a very different spoke pattern, a swingarm on the side and a very visible brake rotor. I’m guessing they had a real bike and wanted to do a real burnout?
But we’ve only scratched the surface of how this bike doesn’t work! The front tire is mounted backwards. Not the biggest deal, I mean it provides traction. But the main purpose of a bike front tire is braking. The front brake is 70% of a bike stopping power, and you want that tire to face what seems like the wrong way so that all the thread pattern kind of ‘’push’’ against the pavement. Which on a motorcycle with dual brake rotors for maximum braking you’d think they’d put the tire to also get maximum braking?
Speaking of braking the rear brake caliper is hanging to absolutely nothing and is floating on the brake rotor, you know that thing it’s supposed not to move with to stop it?
But now that we see the rear wheel, how does that bike get propelled? I’ve looked at it from all angles and couldn’t see a chain. The swingarm seems too narrow to fit either a belt or a drive shaft, and since this is a sports bike they usually have a chain for performance. Wait no, during the Akira slide scene, we get a top side view of the swingarm and it’s bent so no way to fit a belt or driveshaft in there. HOW DOES THE POWER FROM THE ENGINE GOES TO THE REAR WHEEL? There’s nothing connecting the transmission to the wheel.
Also, unless Shadow is making the engine noises with his mouth, this bike is gas powered, not electric, yet I can’t seem to find an exhaust anywhere. You’d think they’d put a nice exhaust on that thing, make it more agressive and sporty looking, but no, no exhaust. And yes, some bikes have some very minimalistic ones, but the bottom of Shadow’s bike is completely covered in plastic (metal? It does make a lot of sparks in the Akira slide scene).
Which brings us to the next point : that bike has an automatic transmission (not that it seems to propel the rear wheel in any way but…) I can’t see any foot lever anywhere so no shifter (left side) or rear brake pedal (right side). That means the two levers on the handlebars are the brakes, the same setup used on a bicycle or a scooter (left on a motorcycle would be the clutch, right would be the front brake). It’s ok Shadow, I didn’t learn to shift until I was 33.
Also, those are ridiculously tiny foot pegs for his huge feet. And on top of miscellaneous things, the bike has no kickstand. Dirt bikes often have no kick stands not to get caught up in rocks/vegetation, but they pretty much have no plastic to break. A sportsbike like this with no kickstand would get its fairings damaged the second you drop it.
But, how big is that bike? Hold on let me Google how tall is Shadow. Reddit puts him at 3’7’’ and the Sonic Wiki at 3’3’’ so let’s go with 3’5’’. So measuring Shadow we get a 17’’ inseam. But let’s get back to the scene of him with his foot down. His foot is down, but the bike is very leaned, and his leg is barely bent. Could it be that he can’t touch the ground while sitting on the bike?
Turns out, he can…. Barely, with only his toes, and only because he has ridiculously large feet. Many people can’t flat foot their bikes (myself included), but the fact that this bike has a GUN logo on it, what’s the background on this bike? I haven’t watched the movie (first and second yes but not third one) so did they make a custom Shadow-sized bike that he can’t touch the ground on it?
So that makes the seat height at roughly 22’’. That’s very low for a bike, even cruiser models which are known for their low seats are pretty much in the 25-27’’ range. But now we have a reference to put it beside a real bike. So let’s use this 2021 KTM Duke 200.
Yeah, it’s a very random choice but it’s the bike I have and I know the proportions of well. Now you’ll say, this isn’t a sports bike, it’s a naked bike (yes actual name for this type of bike, the bike Stone rides falls into that category). But a naked bike is just a sports bike at a nudist beach with a less shrimp-like riding position.
But back to the Duke. This bike has a tall-ish seat at almost 32’’ (cries in 28’’ inseam). Let’s put the Shadow bike beside it. Ok the top of the windshield doesn’t even reach the seat of my Duke. But now we know that the Shadow bike wheels are 12’’ (sports bikes wheels tend to be 17’’).
12’’ wheels are the standard for scooters and mini motos like the Honda Grom. So let’s bring a Honda Grom in there. Even the Grom looks big compared to the Shadow bike, and a Grom looks like a toy compared to my bike, which looks like a toy compared to many, many bikes on the market. So how big is the engine in that bike?
Let’s cut the engine from the Duke. It’s a 200cc engine, with a top speed of around 85-ish miles per hour (or 140kmh but I haven’t tried it past 105) And… it doesn’t fit in Shadow’s bike if we want to leave room for the gas tank.
So let’s try the engine from the Grom, a 125cc one. It fits! Top speed on a Grom is around 60mph (or around 100kmh). So Shadow really needs to use his powers to zip like crazy into trafic, so at that point why give him a bike at all other than the cool factor?
Speaking of cool factor, notice how there are no humans in the bike scene. Wanna know why? BECAUSE THAT BIKE LOOKS RIDICULOUSLY TINY WITH HUMANS BESIDE IT! It takes the cool factor down from badass to will bump you in the shins if you don’t make his revenge guac fast enough.
So Shadow has a bike that he would easily outrun, that realistically can’t move forward, who wouldn’t even turn on because it has no exhaust pipe, that’s actually a scooter disguised as a bike, and that is tiny enough that it looks absolutely ridiculous if you stop and put a human beside it yet is still too high for him to touch the ground on it. Since he’s actually powering that bike with his powers, you know what they could have given him that’s the right size for him? BARBIE JEEP.
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