Shapeshifter

Just out here being weird.

[blackgirlasis]

Before I go…

I want to thank all the creators. Thank you for your art, your meta, your writing, your gifs, your edits, your links and your humor.

It’s easy to focus on the filth the fandom creates but there’s a lot of beauty I’ve taken from many of the folks here. I’m grateful to you.

There were many things I really enjoyed about this season but being here was not one of them. There’s many important conversations being had here not just about race and identity in media portrayal but about intellectual curiosity and critique. It’s important to continue those conversations.

The buzzwords being lobbed at folks in disagreements are ‘media literacy’ and ‘critical thinking’. It’s important to remember that they work in tandem.

Critical thinking is key to media literacy. Enjoying something without thinking about it critically is a perfectly fine, valid and even useful way to absorb media. But it isn’t the only way and it isn’t a sign of superiority to do so. Defensiveness is natural but what lies beyond is where all the good shit typically is.

I’ll be deactivating this blog today. Y’all have fun.

[kingpains]

while i’m yapping today. armand’s motivations this season hold no damn water when held up to the books or the previous seasons of this show. is he violent? yes! is he cruel? yes! is he an evil mastermind and machiavellian schemer always ten steps ahead while plotting vengeance? no! what!

armand is desperate. armand wants to be in a cult, whether it be two people (him and his companion) or huge. armand doesn’t want to lead a cult. armand wants companionship, total devotion, and to be wholly loved by those he falls in love with. armand is controlling and manipulative on a scale that does not extend to willing, enthusiastic cult leadership. he picks people he wants to love him, and if they don’t, he tries to make that happen by any means necessary. armand is impulsive and shortsighted, blinded by his ideals of devotion and worship, and terrified of abandonment

armand in season two reacted impulsively and in shame when he stuck by louis’ side after the trial. louis assumed armand saved him and armand was too afraid and insecure to correct him. armand tripped into the perfect excuse and ran with it for 70 years out of desperation. he gaslit louis for decades in a relationship they were both clearly miserable in because he’s the fucking poster child of the sunk cost fallacy. armand doesn’t let go of anything until he’s FORCED to

santiago was the major schemer in putting the play together and armand’s cowardice and insecurity compelled him to participate and direct it. armand was VERY much responsible for his actions there- he played a major role in orchestrating the lynching of louis and claudia, but he wasn’t the sole scheming manipulator of that plot. he didn’t trust louis enough to abandon the coven for him, made his choice when santiago organized a mutiny, and those actions were fueled by his insecurity and desperation

armand is dangerous when he’s afraid. armand will do anything to latch onto others and feel loved when he thinks he’s backed into a corner. he’s a monster who is desperate for love. not a machiavellian schemer. not a mastermind. vengeance and petty cruelty have never been the driving factors of armand’s worst behavior; his misguided understanding of love is always at the core of the worst things he does

in 2x05 he asks louis if louis is miserable inside the prison of empathy armand has built for him

that line understands armand SO well. armand thinks he’s acting out of love. armand thinks he’s constructed a safe harbor for him and louis. armand thinks if he loves louis in the right way, if he can manipulate louis into loving him back, that things simply have to work out, because if they don’t, armand will be alone and unmoored. armand has NO CLUE who he is without tying himself to someone else

armand genuinely thinks that he’s acting in louis’ best interest for all of season two. he’s decided that this is their happy ending and he is DESPERATE to maintain it. armand goes down with the ship because he will not fucking accept that it’s sinking. he tries to scoop water out of the hull with his bare hands no matter how hopeless the situation is, because when he’s in a corner, he blinds himself to reality

i was so incredibly impressed and moved by season two’s depiction of armand. by assad zaman’s clear love for armand and deep understanding of everything that makes armand tick. armand is a monster. he’s a pathetic, clinging monster who at his core is so insecure and so blinded by desperation that he convinces himself he has no other option than to cling on to whoever he thinks will keep him by their side

louis spends all of his time in paris insisting that the devolving status quo is maintainable, that there’s a balance to find between himself and the coven, that armand can just tell them to fuck off and everything will be okay. louis doesnt budge a fucking inch for armand in paris. and that makes sense for louis’ character! it’s an overcorrection driven by his experiences with lestat; he was burned so badly in new orleans that he puts his fucking foot down and decides that he’s never giving someone that type of in again. he will not be hurt like that again. he’s in control of the relationship this time, he’s the dominant partner, and he gives armand the ultimatum of choosing between him or the coven because joining the coven would NEVER be an option for louis

they were doomed from the start. fresh off of his travels with claudia and the assassination of lestat, louis never would’ve given armand any ground. he completely ignores and disregards armand’s insistence that what they have isn’t maintainable and that something needs to change; louis places all of the onus for that change on armand. and when armand is caught between his coven of centuries and a man he wants to love who has never budged an inch for him, he picks the coven. he goes with the safer option. because armand would never take the risk of abandoning miserable stability for a potentially happier scenario that requires him to leave his comfort zone

maitre in the bedroom, maitre when it’s convenient. armand needs control. armand pretends at submission and enjoys playing the role occasionally, but armand is a control FREAK. he couldn’t control louis. he couldn’t predict louis would actually stay with him or keep armand by his side because louis spent their entire relationship withholding. so armand picks the coven, and then, when he can’t pick the coven anymore, he takes the in and stays with louis

the armand of season three is not the armand of seasons one and two. yes, armand is cruel. yes, armand is a monster. but the nuances of why he does what he does have vanished by 3x07. it’s as if the writers saw the fanbase’s ecstatic response to 2x05 and the only lesson they took from it was that we like armand being evil and violent, and that armand being evil and violent in any capacity is true to the character without ever considering the reasons he’s driven to violence. what a fucking disappointment

[blackgirlasis]

I'm so sad and confused about that finale. What the fuck was going on in that writers' room? Why did they fully dive into the most racist writing possible? Why does it feel like they all got amnesia and forgot what the fuck they wrote in the first 2 seasons? Why does it feel like they hate the character Louis and the actor Jacob? I would love to know how Jacob truly feels about it all...like what he truly feels privately. As much as I love him, they could've and should've done what he wanted in the first place and left him back in season 2. I hate that I love Jam and Loustat so much, but this season finale is my series finale. I am out for good.

Honestly, I don’t think we’ll ever get satisfying answers to any of these questions.

I genuinely think that at this point Hannah and Rolin have painted a clear picture of the show they’re interested in making. While the narrative reasoning itself is unclear, their words and reasoning behind these choices are loud and clear.

It’s baffling and deeply, tremendously heartbreaking but at least we no longer have to carry the cautious optimism of how they’ll adapt the books with the shift in protagonist. They definitely “spared us the ambiguity”

We no longer have to rail against deeply embedded racial bias disguised as media literacy.

We no longer have to repeat ourselves, defend our feelings or state fundamental facts.

Now we go forth and either endure it, embrace it or leave the fandom to those who deserve it. It’s their world and we can choose to let them roll around like happy pigs in shit.

In the words of one of the most incredible vampires to ever grace our screens, “I am done enduring”. So I won’t be.

Thanks for the ask! I hope you found some things to love this season and I hope you continue to carry your love for the first two.

[blackgirlasis]

“Does it say anything about how they used to catch runaway slaves, cut their heads off and spike them on the iron gates as a warning?”

Same show, btw.

[blackgirlasis]

Anon, I haven’t forgotten you! I just spent the afternoon in a WW II bunker in Germany viewing works of art on colonization and fascism. I’m having so many thoughts and perspectives that I’m sort of deep in the process of processing.

[blackgirlasis]

What were your top 5 favorite and your top 5 least favorite things about the season?

Hmmm. I’m a fickle one but I’ll do my best!

Yes:

The Murder Mansion redux

All the diner scenes

The Montreal street fight

The stage performances

Akasha’s reveal

Overall: The juxtaposition of the frenetic energy of Lestat scenes paired with the stillness of Louis scenes. When they come together they strike a balance.

No:

The execution of The Failures (Never quite knowing if what we’re watching is posthumous recollection, perception, objective etc). I like this as a conceit but hate it in practice.

The weird virality seeking moments (i.e. #justiceforantionette, Serving cunt has its consequences) - The show feels too self aware and extremely tone deaf at the same time.

Gabriella. Girl, REST. ENOUGH!!!!

The Devil’s Minion nothingburger(either make this a thing or don’t) and all the ways we’ve seen Armand utilized up until this point.

The pacing (You don’t need to finger her for five episodes. You’re hurting her).

Overall: The tell don’t show of it all and the seeming separation from all things S1+S2

It was harder than I thought to narrow these both down! What about you??

[blackgirlasis]

I can’t stop thinking about the seance. Not the language but the inconsistencies.

The main one that keeps sticking out to me is why Louis and Lestat are looking in opposite directions at the end. Why is Louis looking behind when Lestat is staring straight ahead?

If Fraudia wrote in her diary, why does she not mention that at all? She talks about them paying a witch to bring her back but doesn’t flame Louis for paying Regina?

We have her gut wrenching speech about Madeleine. Nothing about the gross Madeleine stand in???? No smoke for sharing her diaries with “Your boy Daniel Malloy”? If she knew about San Francisco and sees beyond the grave, she knows Armand orchestrated the trial. No “dumb bitch” for that?

There’s more there than just “That closes the door on that”. But do I want to know what it is??

[blackgirlasis]

What were your top 5 favorite songs?

Brutal Love, The Loneliness, When I Call Out Your Name, Your Biggest Fan, Why Do I Have to Feel

What are yours??

[blackgirlasis]

I can't believe this even needs to be said. But, you don't get to decide what is offensive to other people. You don't have to agree but you don't get to decide. Disagree and go on about your business!

[blackgirlasis]

So here’s the thing. I’m not offended by half the shit I see Black folks post here. I disagree with portions of a lot of meta I see from folks whose opinions I respect.

It would never in a million years occur to me to bring my Black ass on here to reprimand other Black folks about things they are personally offended by.

Is it not enough that we spend so much of our lives being told that we ‘misunderstood’, or ‘it was a compliment’ or ‘it’s not that deep’? What in the world would inspire you to do that??

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE OFFENDED. You can think it’s stupid. You can think they’re doing too much. You can think it’s disingenuous.

Hell, sometimes I have a knee jerk reaction that I stew on and later look at from a different perspective.

But there’s no way to exist in this fandom and not know that it’s racist. In what world would you feed that machine little gotcha nuggets? Please don’t do that.

[blackgirlasis]

Poor Louis, asking if the songs were for him. He got one decent song and a bunch of diss tracks. I would have said keep your songs.!

Honestly, I think the majority of the songs are about Louis, regardless of what the in universe characters say.

For instance, Daniel assumes ‘Why Do I Have to Feel’ is about Nicki. But if that were the case, why would “I tried to write you the prettiest song in the world, but I got distracted and I didn’t” be there? He was trying to thrust himself into a hip replacement on that stage. That song is about Louis.

I think Lestat is being entirely truthful when he tells him most of the songs are about him.

I also think Louis is just happy that he lives in Lestat’s head rent free.

Louis is a lot more familiar and patient with Lestat’s antics than we are. He probably isn’t even surprised that Lestat writes an entire song about how Louis is a liar and how he made him the Big Bad Wolf.

What’s funny is, Lestat has an entire fucking meltdown and starts screaming and name calling in the middle of the damn track. He literally proved Louis’ point 😏

In general, Louis seems a lot less pressed about shit than he did in the previous centuries. I think we’re all more pissed on his behalf than he is.

[blackgirlasis]

I think Rolin uses white emojis if you catch my drift. Anyway loved your analysis/thoughts, as always

CORRECT. I have given Rolin the benefit of the doubt for YEARS. I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he said stupid shit about why he made Louis Black. I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he said they needed to toughen Claudia up. I even gave him the benefit of the doubt when he repeatedly referred to S1-2 as "two old guys sitting in a room talking". But I miscalculated.

I remember when he said he signed on to the series because he wanted to do TVL. He has said he's been working up to these moments in S3 from the beginning. Girl, for real? I wouldn't tell nobody.

And I hate feeling this way. There are genuinely some things I've loved this season and I have always felt relatively safe with the show in his hands. Now I want to rap his knuckles with a ruler and tell him to sit in a corner and think about what he's done. I want to ask him to write me a 10-page, single-spaced essay on the origins of the term 'serving cunt'. Hell, I want the entire fandom to have that on my desk by EOD.

Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts. It's sweet of you to do so.

[blackgirlasis]

I can't believe this even needs to be said. But, you don't get to decide what is offensive to other people. You don't have to agree but you don't get to decide. Disagree and go on about your business!

[blackgirlasis]

Also, Louis saying "My shoes!" when Lestat was throwing up blood, was for what?

Are we supposed to be upset at his insensitivity or is it supposed to be funny? If so, they probably shouldn't have had him wear them to slaughter an entire coven. Just saying!

[blackgirlasis]

I know you're taking a break, but I am dying to know your thoughts about ep 6. Me personally? I'm pissed! Love Loustat, but these writers can kiss my ass! They ruined the season for me.

My thoughts. My thoughts. My.....thoughts.

If I had to choose two words they would be: Pandering + Hollow.

I felt nothing.

Seeing Loustat on my screen is always a joy, but this felt unearned and distilled.

Yes, the love is palpable. Yes, it's obvious that they are it for each other. Yes, they are always friends underneath it all. And? What else? Tell me something I didn't know since you refuse to SHOW me anything.

I FELT NOTHING.

The rehearsal:

Brutal love is a beautiful song. I didn't care. Know why? Because we're once again sharing this moment with Gabriella! Is he singing to Louis? Is he singing to Gabi? Oh look y'all, he's singing to Louis! He picks Louis! He loves Louis! Ok, and? I thought this was the Loustat show?

We're supposed to know he picks and loves Louis. Isn't that why we said we were here. Isn't this a fucked up Gothic romance? Is this fucked up Gothic romance with Louis or is it Gabi? She was a spektor above them the entire time they lived in Rue Royale. So, what am I to glean from that?

Lestat wanted to live for Louis and only Louis. But he's wearing Nicki's ring and hanging Gabi's portait and finding a voice to fuck and he makes no apologies. Brutal love, indeed.

The car ride:

It was nice to confirm that Louis the groupie slayer is not, was not and will never be a thing.

Jealous Louis is a fan fiction tag.

It was nice to confirm that Louis actually LIKES seeing Lestat being adored by his fans.

The Gabi reveal coming in the form of a sex tape was cheap. All that shit about how Louis would react when he learns the information from watching Gabi loudly moaning while riding Lestat. Ok. So. Ok.

Daniel already walking in the sun. Ok. So I guess it is possible to teach your fledglings to hone massive power in a matter of months. Huh? Interesting.

The Antionette conversation being nothing that goes nowhere. Louis is lamenting the fact that Lestat never tells him anything and it's the same dismissiveness he received at Rue Royale. Yes, but Louis is just incurious. Right? Also, just a fan fiction tag.

Lestat LITERALLY screaming, crying, throwing up. Louis cradling and once again apologizing for having a normal human emotion. "I apologize for my earlier outburst. It won't happen again" Come through hurt/comfort tag! I see you, crybaby Lestat tag! No, I'm not downplaying the abuse. But you know who is? The show. The show is.

Who is the only person who ever genuinely apologizes to anyone? Louis. But who is the fandom's Big Bad Wolf? Louis.

The Bar:

Louis moans at the taste of Lestat's blood. Cute.

Louis was molested by his cousin and given a dollar for it? What? When? That explains a lot and would have been actually interesting commentary on Louis' relationship to sex work. The pimp tales we've been having for four years could have actually been a conversation fueled by something other than racial bias and repetition. But, who cares, we're talking about Lestat right now. Except we're not really. Because this conversation isn't delving into anything. It's just dipping toes in.

The Dinner:

Um. Ok. So what were we doing here? If we're wrapping up a documentary where are the cameras? If Louis is the story and we're chronicling Lestat, it what world or we just sitting in a restaurant toasting each other. What was that closure supposed to be exactly? What would it close?

I'm sure Armand has told Daniel plenty of shit at this point. But why exactly does Daniel have so much spite for his 'Bucket of Louisiana Fried Chicken'? Are we supposed to hate Louis as much as all the characters suddenly do? Ok, why?

Capitalist Louis tag CHECK!

The Seance:

So Merrick already hates Louis too. Based off some shit he and Paul, most importantly PAUL did as children. Ok, sure.

The magnitude of Loustat's power couple energy is too strong to unleash the spirit. She'll only come through separation. Interesting.

There are many thoughts to be had about 'slave' being etched into Louis' bones. I've seen some outrage and some extremely valid takes. But when I hear that, I hear ancestral rage. Which is real and true and earned.

Louis being called nappy headed... when I hear that I think of Ryan Kattner's post about the brilliant writing this season. I see his name on the writing of this episode. I see his Hip Hop sucks shirt and I think of his interviews where he obviously thinks he's funny but the jokes never land. That's what I think of. You know what sucks? A season of scene packs and one-liners.

So for Louis we have "sad boy" "nappy" "slave" "puppy" "Black Queen". For Lestat we have "little bitch" ok, sure.

But most importantly, we have nothing. No emotions other than essentially "That was wild, right?"

I've been waiting to see Claudia all this time and the whole thing was a room temperature, flat La Croix.

We do see the salt circle open and never close, so I'm assuming the gates aren't completely closed either. So that's something, I suppose.

Ooooh see, Louis liked Lestat better! Claudia always hated Louis! Claudia lied to Louis because he was the weak one! LesDaughter tag. CHECK CHECK CHECK.

The Park:

How am I supposed to give a shit about this jaunty stroll when we're once again NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING!! We're not talking about anything.

The shocking double decapitation. I didn't care. Unfortunately, I did not care. I'm a sensitive mf. I cry at the drop of a hat. There was not a single moment in this episode that moved me. I'm not even mad. I'm apathetic, which is worse.

I will watch the finale out of sheer curiosity and blind hope. But I never, in a million years, would've thought that I would ever be able to watch this show and feel nothing but bored, confused, lied to and disappointed. I truly didn't think it was possible. I knew I wouldn't like everything. I didn't expect to. But I did expect to feel something other than the desire to get it over with. But I guess that's on me.

Perhaps, the finale will make me feel something. Maybe they'll finally make use of the time to show us something instead of telling us everything.

Contrary to popular belief, I was really excited for this season. I was really excited for show only viewers to see "the real Lestat". I wanted folks to see who Lestat is through the events and people who made him. I'm one of those rare book readers who didn't feel the need to jump to his defense when folks hated him in S1. I trusted the writers to show us the context and leave room for some reevaluation. But that's not what happened. That's not what we got.

Can you empathize with Lestat? Sure. Did I think you could already find empathy for him in S1? Yes. Have they shown some heartbreaking pieces of Lestat's past? Yes. Have they given us even five minutes for the gravity of those things to sit with us? No.

I wish that I hadn't set my expectations so high. But at the same time, I only expected what we were promised. I expected a fucked up Gothic romance. I expected a true adaptation of the book Rolin ran around clutching. I don't care about 1:1 scenes. I don't care if they showed 1 wolf instead of 8.

My favorite thing about S1 + S2 was that they added accountability. Anne had a lot to say. She was always grappling with something in her writing and she always put that on the page. But she never wrote accountability. She wrote consequences. The marriage of the two is far more interesting.

I loved what they did in S1 and S2. But apparently, they didn't.

This show spoke to my spirit in a way that no show ever has. Now it feels like a fic that went on an extended hiatus and now the writer keeps extending the chapter count and adding filler chapters because they've has lost touch with the story they initially wanted to tell but don't want to abandon the fic.

So I guess, my thoughts are that I feel deflated and deeply disappointed. No matter what happens in the finale, they've lain waste to what they initially created.

I can only assume the finale is just them being like "Psyche!" Which, ok.

[blackgirlasis]

EDIT: I rewatched and I amend this. I did feel something. I felt many things. But somehow, that only made it worse. Now I'm thinking about what could've been.

[blackgirlasis]

I know you're taking a break, but I am dying to know your thoughts about ep 6. Me personally? I'm pissed! Love Loustat, but these writers can kiss my ass! They ruined the season for me.

My thoughts. My thoughts. My.....thoughts.

If I had to choose two words they would be: Pandering + Hollow.

I felt nothing.

Seeing Loustat on my screen is always a joy, but this felt unearned and distilled.

Yes, the love is palpable. Yes, it's obvious that they are it for each other. Yes, they are always friends underneath it all. And? What else? Tell me something I didn't know since you refuse to SHOW me anything.

I FELT NOTHING.

The rehearsal:

Brutal love is a beautiful song. I didn't care. Know why? Because we're once again sharing this moment with Gabriella! Is he singing to Louis? Is he singing to Gabi? Oh look y'all, he's singing to Louis! He picks Louis! He loves Louis! Ok, and? I thought this was the Loustat show?

We're supposed to know he picks and loves Louis. Isn't that why we said we were here. Isn't this a fucked up Gothic romance? Is this fucked up Gothic romance with Louis or is it Gabi? She was a spektor above them the entire time they lived in Rue Royale. So, what am I to glean from that?

Lestat wanted to live for Louis and only Louis. But he's wearing Nicki's ring and hanging Gabi's portait and finding a voice to fuck and he makes no apologies. Brutal love, indeed.

The car ride:

It was nice to confirm that Louis the groupie slayer is not, was not and will never be a thing.

Jealous Louis is a fan fiction tag.

It was nice to confirm that Louis actually LIKES seeing Lestat being adored by his fans.

The Gabi reveal coming in the form of a sex tape was cheap. All that shit about how Louis would react when he learns the information from watching Gabi loudly moaning while riding Lestat. Ok. So. Ok.

Daniel already walking in the sun. Ok. So I guess it is possible to teach your fledglings to hone massive power in a matter of months. Huh? Interesting.

The Antionette conversation being nothing that goes nowhere. Louis is lamenting the fact that Lestat never tells him anything and it's the same dismissiveness he received at Rue Royale. Yes, but Louis is just incurious. Right? Also, just a fan fiction tag.

Lestat LITERALLY screaming, crying, throwing up. Louis cradling and once again apologizing for having a normal human emotion. "I apologize for my earlier outburst. It won't happen again" Come through hurt/comfort tag! I see you, crybaby Lestat tag! No, I'm not downplaying the abuse. But you know who is? The show. The show is.

They shared a beautiful moment on the streets. A real moment. But by all means, let’s undercut it.

Who is the only person who ever genuinely apologizes to anyone? Louis. But who is the fandom's Big Bad Wolf? Louis.

The Bar:

Louis moans at the taste of Lestat's blood. Cute.

Louis was molested by his cousin and given a dollar for it? What? When? That explains a lot and would have been actually interesting commentary on Louis' relationship to sex work. The pimp tales we've been having for four years could have actually been a conversation fueled by something other than racial bias and repetition. But, who cares, we're talking about Lestat right now. Except we're not really. Because this conversation isn't delving into anything. It's just dipping toes in.

The Dinner:

Um. Ok. So what were we doing here? If we're wrapping up a documentary where are the cameras? If Louis is the story and we're chronicling Lestat, in what world are we just sitting in a restaurant toasting each other. What was that closure supposed to be exactly? What would it close?

I'm sure Armand has told Daniel plenty of shit at this point. But why exactly does Daniel have so much spite for his 'Bucket of Louisiana Fried Chicken'? Are we supposed to hate Louis as much as all the characters suddenly do? Ok, why?

Capitalist Louis tag CHECK!

The Seance:

So Merrick already hates Louis too. Based off some shit he and Paul, most importantly PAUL did as children. Ok, sure.

The magnitude of Loustat's power couple energy is too strong to unleash the spirit. She'll only come through separation. Interesting.

There are many thoughts to be had about 'slave' being etched into Louis' bones. I've seen some outrage and some extremely valid takes. But when I hear that, I hear ancestral rage. Which is real and true and earned. But again, that’s not what we’re talking about here.

Louis being called nappy headed... when I hear that I think of Ryan Kattner's post about the brilliant writing this season. I see his name on the writing of this episode. I see his Hip Hop sucks shirt and I think of his interviews where he obviously thinks he's funny but the jokes never land. That's what I think of. You know what sucks? A season of scene packs and one-liners.

So for Louis we have "sad boy" "nappy" "slave" "puppy" "Black Queen". For Lestat we have "little bitch" ok, sure.

But most importantly, we have nothing. No emotions other than essentially "That was wild, right?"

I've been waiting to see Claudia all this time and the whole thing was a room temperature, flat La Croix.

Delainey was INCREDIBLE as usual. The actors consistently make up for the baffling writing choices.

We do see the salt circle open and never close, so I'm assuming the gates aren't completely closed either. So that's something, I suppose.

Ooooh see, Claudia liked Lestat better! Claudia always hated Louis! Claudia lied to Louis because he was the weak one! LesDaughter tag. CHECK CHECK CHECK.

The Park:

How am I supposed to give a shit about this jaunty stroll when we're once again NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING!! We're not talking about anything.

The shocking double decapitation. I didn't care. Unfortunately, I did not care. I'm a sensitive mf. I cry at the drop of a hat. There was not a single moment in this episode that moved me. I'm not even mad. I'm apathetic, which is worse.

I will watch the finale out of sheer curiosity and blind hope. But I never, in a million years, would've thought that I would ever be able to watch this show and feel nothing but bored, confused, lied to and disappointed. I truly didn't think it was possible. I knew I wouldn't like everything. I didn't expect to. But I did expect to feel something other than the desire to get it over with. But I guess that's on me.

Perhaps, the finale will make me feel something. Maybe they'll finally make use of the time to show us something instead of telling us everything.

Contrary to popular belief, I was really excited for this season. I was really excited for show only viewers to see "the real Lestat". I wanted folks to see who Lestat is through the events and people who made him. I'm one of those rare book readers who didn't feel the need to jump to his defense when folks hated him in S1. I trusted the writers to show us the context and leave room for some re-evaluation. But that's not what happened. That's not what we got.

Can you empathize with Lestat? Sure. Did I think you could already find empathy for him in S1? Yes. Have they shown some heartbreaking pieces of Lestat's past? Yes. Have they given us even five minutes for the gravity of those things to sit with us? No.

I wish that I hadn't set my expectations so high. But at the same time, I only expected what we were promised. I expected a fucked up Gothic romance. I expected a true adaptation of the book Rolin ran around clutching. I don't care about 1:1 scenes. I don't care if they showed 1 wolf instead of 8.

My favorite thing about S1 + S2 was that they added accountability. Anne had a lot to say. She was always grappling with something in her writing and she always put that on the page. But she never wrote accountability. She wrote consequences. The marriage of the two is far more interesting.

I loved what they did in S1 and S2. But apparently, they didn't.

This show spoke to my spirit in a way that no show ever has. Now it feels like a fic that went on an extended hiatus and now the writer keeps extending the chapter count and adding filler chapters because they've lost touch with the story they initially wanted to tell but don't want to abandon the fic.

So I guess, my thoughts are that I feel deflated and deeply disappointed. No matter what happens in the finale, they've lain waste to what they initially created.

I can only assume the finale is just them being like "Psyche!" Which, ok.

[blackgirlasis]

Honestly very real for stepping out of the fandom, I really only know s3 stuff because of what some moots have posted cus I decided when they rebranded that s3 was not gonna be for me, and boy im glad I did (though that one akasha scene seems fire). We need to make a tag for like the 10 ppl who want to focus our discussions and content on Louis&Claudia (or anyone besides Lestat and Daniel ffs)

There have been some really good moments this season and things I've really enjoyed. But it's even more enjoyable if you haven't set foot in this fandom.

So much of the way we all absorb the show now is from a "gotcha" or competitive lens and that's just a shitty way to try and enjoy anything. I watched the last couple of episodes with friends who are casual viewers and they were having a great time. They had questions but they were having a great time. I want to have a great time.

Rest assured, there are plenty of people with Louis and Claudia on their lips. The issue is that the version of the characters they're talking about exist only in headcanons and fan fiction. That's even true of some Louis and Claudia stans, tbh. I'm just over it. I want to be able to enjoy and critique the show without wanting to choke someone out everyday.

I'm glad you figured out what would and wouldn't work for you and acted accordingly. If only more people could figure that shit out.

Hope you're enjoying your time outside the savage garden!

[blackgirlasis]

Oh no! I absolutely love reading your point of view on here! I completely understand taking a leave though. This fandom is for the fucking birds!

Truly! Just chirping and regurgitating into each other's mouths.

It should not be this hard to all love the same thing!!!!!

I'm sure I'll be back when my blood stops boiling. The fanart, gifsets, fic writers and intelligent meta are why I came here. I am grateful and I'll miss those gifts.

Thanks for stopping by my inbox!

Also, I'm a Libra so I may be back in two hours.