WithUiamInfinite

[minuty]

[thepowerwithin]

Beauty will exist where ever I decide to allow it. I am in charge of how much beauty I perceive within this miraculous world around me.

Affirmation by n.a

[monachopsis-people]

[aidashakur]

PLEASE communicate to me when i’ve done something that bothers you or you don’t understand. let me apologize and learn

[blacksheep0124]

Episode 4

So we have been talking and conversing for days now, weeks even. With us going to different schools, it’s very hard to ignore the guys around me who also give me attention. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve been faithful to you because we haven’t labeled what we are. I’m not usually like this but, being away from home makes me feel so free. So what the last guy called me a different name after we fucked?

I make another plan to hang out with you at the mall. I’m bringing Nina, a new, yet very close friend of mine. We plan on going to see a movie. Weirdly I’ve noticed this pattern of me always being with less money after a meeting with you. The last time? I paid for the weed we smoked... you say you’ll come if I can give you 20$ for gas, I lie, just because I have to see you...

Nina & I are at the movie, you haven’t showed and we plan on leaving once it’s over. I see your figure down the aisles. *why did we sit at the very top?* here you come... * your so hot* you sit next to me, your not alone but your cousin and Nina hit it off.

*the taste of your lips...*

You ask me for the money. I explain that I had to use it to buy all (4 of us) the tickets. We weren’t sure if you could speak in. Your upset? I’m so hurt I slam my tiny fist in between your legs... you leave.

I think I died tonight... but little did I know this was nothing to how you would break my heart in the future.

[mothurs]

me: i hate boys boy: *slightly pays attention to me* me: 😩😩😍😍💦

[teenscoolest]

follow teenscoolest for more!

[toastbutteregg]

[liberalsarecool]

[blacksheep0124]

Episode #3

I have devised a plan to see you and I actually got caught for it by mom. So I told her the reason I was so desperate to go to the mall, was to see the other J in my life. The angel on my shoulder, with you being the angel of darkness on the other side..... but I was going to see you...

I hug you as soon as my moms car is completely out of sight. We jump in your cousins car and are headed to your house.... I’m wondering what your cousin will be doing while we do.... well what we do.... he must think of me in a negative way.... he must know this is just a hook up.....

Here we are, the place where I was last pure. The same bed, different blankets? It’s dark, with the only light coming from the tv.... last time it was broad daylight.... interesting how I’ve found myself back here....

Your going to smoke... I’ve never smoked before. It was always bad in my mind. But with you? Maybe this will make us a closer? I have no idea but I’m already beyond paranoid so why not take the edge off. I hit it.... and I cough like crazy.... you find it hilarious.... your such a veteran at being bad aren’t you?

The last time we talked we discussed oral, I mean I already lost my virginity to you... what’s doing oral for the first time on the same guy??? Right? Sadly, you didn’t enjoy it?? I’m not sure if it was because I was high or if cause my mouth was dry from how nervous and anxious I was to get back.... but we make love for the second time....

I return the mall like nothing happened... my mom suspects nothing... I can’t stop thinking about you.... I’ve never wanted someone so bad...

[naturaekos]

[blacksheep0124]

Sometimes I randomly search for you on social media platforms, just so I can updated with your life. I’m surprised when you get back in, the first thing you do isn’t block me?? I would do that to someone who still felt as strongly as I do about you. Seeing you look the exact same, with your hair in that style we took those pictures in 6 years ago after I took my senior photos..... things happened in the pantry that shouldn’t have...

But your son is so cute.... he’s going to be a big boy! I bet he’s as handsome as his dad... RIP the little bit of sanity I saved from your heartbreak

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[understands]

[blacksheep0124]

Episode #2

I’ve got a few friends now, I’m happy to just be part of a group. I’m not like this though... I don’t like breaking rules, I’m actually afraid of my dad. My mom wouldn’t care. I have to talk to him. How could he lie? I left everything I started at Silverado. I actually knew people there. How could he be okay with telling the adults it was only oral?

I gave him something I can NEVER get back...

He told me he loved me when I left, I cried on the walk back after the dreadful deed was done, I didn’t enjoy it at all, the only thing he says to me the day after, “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

How is it I remember your number, how are we even talking right now. I changed schools, I should never see you again. I mean this guy is the reason I did a week in a loony bin right? Wrong, my decision is why I spent time there...

You say your not done with me,

This was the start of my obsession...

[killed-long-ago-deactivated2021]

“Loneliness is never missing, it loves me even though it kills me”

— (via killed-long-ago)

[blacksheep0124]

RF

I’ve know you since I was born, I used to view you as Aunite L’s older son. There was the day you saw me walking home from high school and you offered to give me a ride. Idk why I was always so nervous around you.... I never thought of you in that way.

You used to tell me J was probably cheating on me. (Which I knew he always was). You gave me a ride to see him one time when my family wouldn’t, and I had to be with J because I felt like if I wasn’t near him he would leave me, i felt like I was already out of sight out of mind....

Fast forward 3 years later, I had the worst sex of my life... so 2 days after, I needed you. I didn’t think it would happen that way, and when it did, I accepted it as just a hookup. Than you started contacting me daily.... than I started thinking of you as the best I ever had, was it because your 6 years older, was it due to the experience? I’m not sure....

Now we are parents, now I have a restraining order, now our son will never know his dad and it’s not because of a death, which in my opinion is the only valid reason for a child to have an absent parent. I never thought you would do it,

What’s fucked yo about it....

I love you still....