blacksheep.. @blacksheepsparadise-blog - Tumblr Blog

Bakit tayo nagpapakatanga?

I'm afraid to realize I'm giving my all already.

Cc

#weak #vulnerable #are you still in love with me?#am i worthy?

Do you know what's scary? The fact that I am deeply in love. Because you made me.. vulnerable. I give everything too much. I give pieces of me so easily. And I'm so done with picking it all up again just because I let my guards down.

Cc

#araw gabi #waiting for you #he's busy #are you?#are we feeling the same thing #i'm scared

foolishly in love with this guy.

cc

i never imagined myself this foolish.

cc

i'm so damn in love. gross!

You'll never know unless you try.

cc.

Second moon, September 16, 2019

I kinda felt disappointed 😞. Yesterday, I wasted whole day waiting for your chats, calls, or even just one message. I received nothing. Every minute I was with my phone hoping you'd call, you haven't. So we had a practice an hour after. At least there was something that could divert my attention instead of waiting for you whole day. During the practice, i was ALWAYS tempted to check my phone, just in case you messaged. Five hours of holding the tempt to open it, I already did, but still there was nothing. NOTHING. Someone had me on vc. He was a friend, sort of. We had laughs, he changed my mood, but still, secretly I was hoping it was you I was talking. "I don't think you're in the right hands. I can love you better than he can." Then there I really felt sad, disappointed. Why aren't you leaving message? What happened? I know you're very busy but so am I. I can still leave a message even during our class hours. Hayst. During our vc, you messaged. And here I am so foolish I automatically end his call just to reply you. The fuck! I'm not disappointed in you, I'm disappointed in me. Why did I let my mood depend on your presence. Why do I love you this much? I first greeted you on our monthsarry. I didn't say much, I couldn't say much, there was something I don't know, lack of emotions. I wasn't able to have a good sleep since I was again, AGAIN, checking my phone every minute, checking if you replied. Fuck! Then at nearly 6 am, you messaged. The weird thing? I felt so happy and excited. Shit! You know what, one thing I've realized is that,I'm so damn in love with you that I depend on your presence too much, that sometimes I forgot the others who can give me love more than you can. But still, here I am. Choosing you. I love you.

#mebeingmarupok

First visit, September 10-11, 2019

You woke me up saying you'd be here in a minute. I didn't believed at first but seeing your post in social media convinced me. I was very, very excited to see you right at that moment. I rushed to terminal on the way from school to get you. I couldn't even imagine what my facial reaction was but I knew I was happy. First met was kinda awkward. I was very unable to stop myself from smiling. It felt like heaven. We parted for a while for I was about to go to school. I was actually disappointed for I wasn't able to have your full presence. Midnight, my birthday. You held my hand and greeted me for my birthday. It was very special. Very special. It was our first kiss, first hug, first waking up in the morning with your face on mine, your lips on mine, first kiss(es). HAHAHA. Writing this, I still can't stop thinking about that kiss you gave. I miss it. I miss you. I love you. Now I'm actually thinking about taking it all slow. Everything happened so fast. I get too attached too fast. I barely can't imagine myself on failure relationship. Not this. I still hope I'd wake up seeing your face every morning. I love you.

#still so deep

First month, August 16, 2019

Had to go to Mar's place. I feel so satisfied and contented with the love that you gave. I never imagined that I would be this happy being in this relationship. Have you ever felt that zing thing? That feeling where I really want to be with you every single day that I still have? I want us to be in the same roof, sharing the same blanket, sharing the same breath. I want to hold you tight, kiss you tighter, and hug you all night long. I miss you. I really do. I spend my remaining time in there checking your old photos on my phone. Thinking how lucky could I be? I am praying that you, you will be my last.

#so deep

When it was all started

“I barely notice i was actually falling in love with you. You were the man of my dreams. You're smart. You're brave. You're kind. Everything in you is so perfect. That fact made me realize I may not be the right woman for you, yet. I took every opportunity to reject you, yet still hoping you would pursue me even more. Convince me even harder. I am really hoping you would ask me again the time I will be mentally and emotionally prepared enough to be your RIGHT WOMAN. I really wish I won't regret every rejection I did. I really hope I'd be able to fix myself really soon, I think I need you soon.”

#should I?

D’BMC

what’s that? HAHA. We weren’t complete when we made the BMC. It was fun but we were time pressured. So we had several emotions at once at that moment. But at least, we learned how business works after that discussion and activity.

THE DEMO DAY “DIMDAY”

We weren’t THAT prepared though we thought we were. We, no, I thought, our idea was that great that could possibly receive even a single complement from the panel. But we didn’t. I forgot my lines, our file was corrupted, I get nervous, I stuttered, I gave NOTHING to the panel. That day, was our DIM DAY.

Not now, but soon. This would be you and me. Cats so damn useless 🤣🤣

#cat #funny cat #relationship #netflix #dunno

You should never demand some respect like you've earned it.

cc.

#sucks.#qouteoftheday #pissed.

the underbags.

Pitching preparation. Yep, you heard it right. Pitch. But not in a sporty matter. We’ve been able to spent days, no weeks, with sleep deprivation. hopefully it would all pay off!

“THE ACTUAL PRODUCT”

Whoo! I’m so glad we didn’t chose an expensive one. Yaa’ know. It’s hard to make something from scratch with not enough of capital. HAHA. The actual water filter mainly consists of aggregates. So, it’s not that costly making its prototype and most of all, THE ACTUAL PRODUCT.

#BLOGSOME

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