TERFs, TRANSMEDS AND OTHER FREAKS: FUCK OFF AND NEVER COME BACK
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Andulka

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EXPECTATIONS
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@bladechalice
TERFs, TRANSMEDS AND OTHER FREAKS: FUCK OFF AND NEVER COME BACK
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everasking
ok so this would be my vision for the cigarette cake x
I made this, and it's cooling right now. Just realized I accidentally ONLY did oreo bits instead of "cut with caramel".
(I'm super proud that I made this, please reblog <3)
I made another; Dad wanted it for his birthday.
Sure, here's my disorganized recipe from hell, cobbled together from various websites and experiments. I just realized that I pasted the caramel and pastry cream in the wrong order... It's easier if you make the pastry cream first and clean that pot for the caramel. I'm on mobile. Will fix.
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1 box white cake mix, using egg whites. Bake. Flip onto a wire rack.
2/3 box spice cake mix (save the rest to turn into batter later, or portion the batter and bake it on the side.) I add extra allspice. Bake in previous pan.
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Caramel Ganache (kinda):
1 cup granulated sugar
⅓ cup butter, salted or unsalted
White chocolate and hot milk ganache (pre-prepare or don't; pour hot milk over the chocolate and stir until thick but fluid consistency. Use the same method over dark chocolate to make a separate, thicker ganache for later).
Heat until fully melted and amber, without burning. People say don't stir the sugar; I don't think it matters much for a cake like this and I stir it to help it melt faster after it has started.
Add the butter pieces and stir until smooth. It's gonna look scary. Just keep going.
Add the white chocolate ganache until reaching desired consistency. This is done now. Transfer to a holding container and immediately wash your pot. Filling the pot with water and letting the leftover scuz simmer on low helps.
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Pastry Cream (it's just custard with butter, apparently) (ALSO NOTE: I never have a ton unless I make a thin tall cake, but this amount offers an appropriate texture. Maybe double this exclusively if you can make it look pretty. IMO, I'd turn this into a mousse to stabilize it, but I haven't. Spicetrekkers Walnut Espresso Blondie has a good custard->mousse setup.)
▢ 2 cups whole milk
▢ ¼ cup granulated sugar
▢ 1 large egg
▢ 2 large egg yolks
▢ ¼ cup cornstarch
▢ ⅓ cup granulated sugar
▢ 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
▢ 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or vanilla bean, split open, to add to the milk during heating)
In a medium saucepan, combine milk and granulated sugar. Gentle simmer/steam. Do not boil.
Whisk together 1 large egg, 2 large egg yolks, ¼ cup cornstarch, and ⅓ cup granulated sugar in a mixing bowl until smooth and pale.
Slowly pour about half of the hot milk into the egg mixture in a steady stream, whisking constantly to temper the eggs and prevent curdling.
Immediately pour the tempered egg mixture back into the saucepan. Return to medium heat and whisk constantly until the mixture thickens and begins to bubble, about 2 to 3 minutes.
Remove from heat. Stir in 2 tablespoons unsalted butter and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract until fully melted and incorporated.
Transfer the pastry cream to a clean bowl. Press plastic wrap directly onto the surface to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate until completely chilled (can use freezer initially, if you want).
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Layer as per image. Layer as follows:
Spice cake → Caramel ganache → White cake → Plain pastry cream → Pastry cream with add-ins → Dark chocolate ganache with oreos if you want it that way → Crushed biscoff cookies
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It is very reminiscent of a typical Southern dump-cake, but if you organized it. It's fun. With work, it could be kind of classy?
If I had enough free-time, I'd change a lot about the layering. The caramel and spicecake is fantastic, but the pastry cream doesn't layer perfectly with the white cake. If it was up to future-me, I'd make round cakes, and stack the white in 2-3 layers with the caramelly cookie cream, and coat the entire thing in chocolate ganache (with a little espresso powder). This would do great with coconut and/or almond in a form of preference, too.
i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street
“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?
please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows
i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation
do you guys wanna see the most perfectest png of my cat
polite bubby.png
ohhhhhh bubby from orange cats
Hi sorry I saw a transparent jpeg and immediately put your cat in a situation hope that's cool
WHATS HE DOING UP THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Euini (ユイニィ) - Tongari Boushi no Atelier - Episode 13
Older Blade comic I never posted here. Sucks to be Kotaro, i guess.
id like to not do this but haiii o/ its my birthday month and im stressing about doctors bills that are past due so if anyone would like to help me out so i can take care of those without overdrafting and be a little less anxious for my bday o7
c*missions are perpetually open but i ask that you message me first on @bloodyodyssey to get a good idea of what you want because kofi doesnt let you review orders before accepting them and id hate to take payment up front without knowing if its something i can do or not.
if you have no desire for one though then donos via pp or ca are preferred considering the cut kofi takes!
kofi
cash
pp
amounts needed:
24/108 doctors bill due 7/21
0/233 labs due also 7/21
^but ill bank on paying the labs when i can bc im not hopeful on getting enough for both so soon
Hojo getting decked in gif form so I can watch it on loop for hours
(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information
Sometimes you gotta take a sketch break to draw sad 1000xRESIST fanart
Sometimes, you just don't fit in the backpack.
1000xRESIST (2024) — developed by Sunset Visitor.
nostalgia can be a dangerous thing
[Here lies a child who was made into a monster and a mother]
I need all the hyperlexic statistical outliers on tumblr to look up what’s meant by low literacy, it means like, can’t read the notice from the electric company that says they’re cutting you off. Can’t read your doctor’s instructions on how to treat yourself at home. It means “school system failed you so badly that it might kill you”, if you’re reading simple fiction for fun you are already so far out of the window of maximum concern