sharp tongue, sharper blade

owen lundkvist. 32. weapons enthusiast, monster mediator and professional jerk. part time slayer and dead man

[bladesandtrades]

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[bladesandtrades]

[pm] [Attached: coordinates to Daiyu's current location.] Finishing up a bounty on Agnes. If you want in, be there or be 🟩.

[user is filled with immediate panic once the words register, tries to call Daiyu right away but it goes straight to voice mail again and again] 

[pm] Blade, pick up this fucking phone right the fuck now.

[new pm] I don't know what the fuck you're doing but you don't know shit so don't fucking do anything or kill anyone.

[new pm] What the fuck do you think you're doing, fucking stop!!

[user is going for a nice little drive] 

[vengeancedemon]

The way you slam your body into mine reminds me I’m alive, but monsters are always hungry, darling, and they’re only a few steps behind you, finding the flaw, the poor weld, the place where we weren’t stitched up quite right, the place they could almost slip right into through if the skin wasn’t trying to keep them out, to keep them here, on the other side of the theater where the curtain keeps rising. I crawled out the window and ran into the woods. I had to make up all the words myself. The way they taste, the way they sound in the air. I passed through the narrow gate, stumbled in, stumbled around for a while, and stumbled back out. I made this place for you. A place for to love me. If this isn’t a kingdom then I don’t know what is.

― Richard Siken, Crush

↳  challenge prize for @bladesandtrades, feat. @luckylockjaw

[bladesbounties]

@bladesandtrades replied to your post “[pm] Thanks for not hanging up when I called. You...”:

[pm] I've had to deal with him more than once, it gets less endearing. But sure, seems it was worth Brooks blowing himself up.

​[pm] Good to have a doctor on call who's cool about crime, though. LOL what an idiot. And he's supposed to be a fireman? Magic being back is fine as well I guess.

What do you know about Agn

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Sure, he can be useful. Probably going to get himself killed if he keeps agreeing to shit like this, though. Guess the qualifications for the WRFD aren't all that high. Here's fucking hoping it stays that way.

[technowarden]

[pm] Good. Then I'll probably be healed enough by next week to continue training.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] [..........] Do you really fucking think that's a good [....] [user feels a slightly sickening sense of deja vu] Guess I have even more of an incentive to want to help keep you alive now, huh?

[necrosemancy]

[pm] […] Jesus fucking Christ. […] Literally how could you have known that having a conversation would result in a fucking battle royale? […] it’s better than nothing. Gives us time to figure out next steps. […] you at your place, or his? I’m sending you shitty beer. [user decides to order and have l a six pack of beer delivered to both locations. Same note on both, that reads ‘You sounded like you could use a drink.’]

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Because I fucking know who I fell in lo I'm dealing with, fuck bless him. Could have just stayed away from Eve, too, not fanned the damn flames. But yeah, fucking better than a new fight, I guess. [when the beers arrive at the cabin, user feels momentary relief, remembering the last time he shared a proper drink with Rosemary at his apartment, teaching her to throw a knife and reluctantly gossiping about Wyatt. It's comforting right up until he realizes why Rosemary knows where Wyatt lives and the memory turns into one of Rosemary covered in her father's blood, staring down at him like she's just performed a miracle instead of something much more horrific] Don't This doesn't mean

[necrosemancy]

[pm] That bad? Doesn't fully surprise me since I hate to say good for Eve for not making it fucking easy for him but Welcome to the club. I wish I had a suggestion that isn't find a way to keep them the fuck away from each other. Can they be bribed?

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Could have been worse but yeah. Broken arm, broken teeth, bullet wound. She could have killed him. She still might And he almost snuffed her. I didn't realize talking about it would set him off like that, stupid fucking mistake on my part. [...] They've both somehow agreed to a truce. For now. Fuck knows if that will last.

[kellydays]

[pm] Mickey's got a bit more skill than first aid. You can teach any old idiot how to do first aid. This idiot knows first aid. Whole lot more, but doubt you're interested in my credentials. [...] It's called bein' subtle. You suggestin' I wander into shops in town and ask if someone's a hunter outright? Had my suspicions, wanted plausible deniability if I was wrong. If I was wastin' time, didn't want to waste more time tryin' to give you short-term memory loss the hard way. [...] Speakin' of, how long did it take you to figure it out? 'Cause you agreed pretty quick for someone who thought I was flirtin'. At your place of business, no less.

Drill it in? Sounds like we both got innuendos. [...] Look, one point and one point only. Y'all kept sayin' magic was gone. How the hell was I supposed to know the explosives were magicked up? Take it up with your least favorite spellcaster.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Wow, when's the wedding? Feels like I should officiate, seeing as I set this whole thing up. Maybe not just any fucking shop but the weapons store famously started by a warden seems like a safe bet. Why did you reach out to me, anyway I only agreed to confirm my suspicions, which were pretty damn high already. [user is not telling the whole truth] Not as subtle as you think there, bud.

Down, boy. I'm expecting plenty more points from this allegiance, actually. You wanted to play with explosives instead of fire.

[technowarden]

[...]

[pm] Interesting choice to keep making digs at my character while asking me to not hold a grudge about my attempted murder.

[user stares at this for a long time. She's not angry at Wyatt anymore, nor feeling betrayed by Owen in the same way she was. There was a reason that she hadn't told anyone about Wyatt. The reason may have changed, but there is value here.]

Right. You understand I can't completely just take your word for it, right? And I can't ever afford to let him get in biting distance again. If he comes near me ever again, I will have to shoot first. That's not a risk I can afford to take.

I don't want to kill you, Owen, because you're my friend and I care about you, but I'm not fucking around here. So here's the best I can offer you:

I haven't told a soul who attacked me yet. That is not something I will guarantee forever, but I won't send anyone after him. You're right, after all, I would have to tell them about you so that they could prepare properly.

I am sorry for what comes next, because I can't just take your word for it. If your caring about me mattered to Wyatt, we wouldn't be here. So I have a failsafe. If my computer fails to detect activity from me for a certain period of time, it will send out Wyatt's information to every hunter I know. Not just in Wicked's Rest, but everywhere. It will go with the request that that information is shared with their contacts. There won't be anywhere he could go to escape my reach. And because it has to, it will include information about you. I'm not sending hunters to die at your hands.

Put simply: if I die, my hunt begins.

[bladesandtrades]

[user reads and rereads this message, focus catching on words like care and sorry and escape. As if running was even an option for Wyatt. The feeling of a noose tightening around his neck is one he is uncomfortably familiar with by now but it takes him by surprise this time, not a slow, looming thing but rather, a hard yank that tightens the rope all at once and leaves behind the memory as a threat. A new 'or else' to live by]

[pm] Noted. Maybe he should have

[luckylockjaw]

[pm] Well good, cuz I sure as fuck don't. [...] Fight's at 8. So... be home around 9:30, if I make it quick. Woulda been there now, but she asked me to come in early to help move some shit. I think they're expanding now that everything's back to normal.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Yeah, I got that already, you stubborn, pouty mess. Thought being a little bitch was my job. [...] Fucking great, glad it benefitted those assholes. But fine, 9:30-ish. I'll get some takeout. Take care of all that tension you got, properly now since your arm's finally healing.

[highoctanegem]

What are you up to then I am! <3

[pm] Wow, when have I ever mentioned having any issues with my height? I don't care, I'm 5'11 in aura, baby. LOL! I think so too, but I'm on the case, this is boots on the ground journalism, I getting more context.

The pots and kettles of you saying that, you know? So you obviously get why she's like that. Why she has to lash out before anybody else does it to her. I mean, I wish she could like, accept that she deserves friends and to have people looking out after her. She's not even hard to care for. But in the meantime, I'm not gonna pretend like it's sooo strange for her to feel uncomfortable about the werewolf's buddies trying to act all nice with her now. [...] No lecture :/ She sneaked out right before the respiratory system.

But if was Talia who was uncomfy, would you have picked side? Was there murder attempts in your grade school, all I got in mine was cheerleading. But it was kind of a bloodbath, I guess. [...] I mean, your folks were onto something, they did make a good specimen.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] You wish you were 5'11 in [...] aura. [user felt physical pain typing out that word] Great, I want the full article, spare no details. A reward for still not having used that Diana tidbit against him.

Your slayer therapist bit is no fun, you know that, right? [...] I was her damn "buddy" first, not that she gives a fuck. But she was willing to join me on a mission the other day so maybe it's not all fucked. Wow, I feel both special and cheated.

God, of course you had a semi normal upbringing. Hah, good one.

[luckylockjaw]

[pm] I don't get why you care if she-- She was ready to kill you too, you know, she only stopped because I-- Whatever. She did this to herself. I ain't about to feel bad for her. If you want to keep being friends with someone who's proven twice now that she's fine with you being dead then I can't stop you. [ user deleted and rewrote the previous sentence about five times ] [...] I know you would. I don't got doubt about that. And I don't fucking like it, but I swear to you I ain't gonna go after her again for this.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Don't need you to feel bad or fucking like her, don't even expect you to understand. She's the only one who It's just hunter shit, you'll never [user feels immensely relieved, until he rereads the 'for this' bit. It's probably going to be fine] Thank you, all I'm fucking asking. [...] Know it's a big ask. How long does the bitch have you clocked in for today? I could probably find some way to show you my appreciation when you get home.

[kellydays]

@bladesandtrades replied to your post “[pm] How's that bruised ego healing?”:

[pm] You two make a perfect pair, you're both insufferable. And I would never fuck a ranger. Wow, an invite to the pity party? No thanks, just put that effort into healing, Brooks.

[pm] Yeah, exactly! We'll be real happy together. Mickey'll make a great partner, tendin' to my wounds when I do somethin' worse than blow myself up. [...] Now, hold up. Did I ever say I wanted to fuck you? This is about our fledgling alliance. My heart ain't ever been broken over bein' turned down. [User believes this, regardless of whether it's true.]

Ain't a fuckin' pity party. Just already heard enough today about what a boneheaded move it was. Figured I'd set you up to get it all out early. Clear the air and all. You were right. I was wrong. Movin' the fuck on. [...] That your way of sayin' I owe you one? Fine by me.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Guess first aid capabilities is an important trait in a partner when you're an idiot [user has had to deal with countless injuries for his own partner, no one think about that] Your weird innuendos did all the work for you there, actually. I don't form alliances, what sort of cheesy movie do you think this is? Mm, just as well, I imagine that would have been just a whole lot of breaking otherwise.

Good, it should come from more than one person, to really drill it in. Moving on? When you're speaking such sweet nothings? No way. Sure, I'll keep you in mind next time I need a demolition job.

[luckylockjaw]

[pm] [ user has already more or less agreed to not do this, but is feeling spicy about it being brought up again ]

What if I'm still pissed?

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Oh fuck you, then you fucking suck it up or take it out on me or someone else, I really couldn't care less who, because I've got Eve asking when I'm gonna break down her door to finish the job and I'd just rather fucking not have a repeat of Emilio in the barn. I'm so fucking done with having to think about murdering the people I care about. [...] But if she continues to be a problem, I'll fucking deal with it because you won't catch her off guard again, trust me. And you or her, I'm choosing you if there was any damn doubt. So just fucking please.

[necrosemancy]

[pm] what the fuck do you mean h like he tried to ki If he’s going after Eve just for what she did is he going to go after I That explains how rough she looked the other day. Eve’s still a hunter, has Wyatt lost his fucking mind Is Wyatt alright?

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] How rough exactly Yup. [...] He's alive. Both of them are but no fucking telling how long that will last. Shockingly, I don't know how the fuck to mediate this fucking mess.

[necrosemancy]

[pm] Is everything o Did Eve come up? [...] If you've got anymore questions, I'll do the best I can to answer them.

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] I don't want to talk about It doesn't fucking matter [...] If the magic is fixed, shouldn't I feel Is this just how things fucking are now [...] Wyatt went after Eve.

[luckylockjaw]

[pm] Not Eve what?

[bladesandtrades]

[pm] Not Eve as in no more stalking her runs and trying to fucking kill her, Barlow.