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we have to give up the pressure of striking gold on our first try.

would they pick you today?

Just because you’ve secured “your place” doesn’t mean you should be letting up on the gas. As exhausting as it may sound, I continuously strive to prove myself to those around me. It can be natural to fall into a pattern of routine and comfortability, but there is always something new to learn, always another level to push myself out of my comfort zone. This concept relates to my career, but it also relates to my personal relationships as well. Whether you know someone for 2 months, or 2 years, it is always worth it to show effort. Make it obvious that you care—about your job, your team, your romantic relationships, your friends.

supermarkets.

Everytime I’m in a supermarket I get overwhelmed because there is so much food in one place, so many choices. It sounds odd but I’m often taken aback by the normalcy of it all. Not everyone has access to food, nevermind a variety to that extent. I imagine how painful it is for hungry families to walk through a store, watching other families overfill carts without question, meanwhile they’re barely getting by, hoping to score some minimal sale items. Growing up I never thought about where my next meal would come from, or the one after that, or the one after that. I still don’t. I am grateful. Food insecurity is real for SO many people. They are our neighbors, our friends, maybe even our loved ones. Count your blessings. And then count them again. Because your errands and overlooked routines may look like someone else’s answered prayers.

creative vs. logical thinking

I am both a creative and logical thinker. These are qualities I believe have always been a part of me, I just didn’t always understand it. In the past I found myself struggling to try to label myself as one or the other. I thought I had to be either completely committed to the wonderous, unstructured creative world or give it all up for strictly structured logical reasoning. When it came time to choose a major, and then eventually a career path I didn’t know where I fit in. I didn’t feel like I was distinctively passionate about one thing, because I wasn’t sure which route of thinking and learning felt right for me. My logical side always felt safe, because it allows me to feel like I’m playing by the rules, using mature and clear solutions for the task at hand. On the other end, I love the excitement and drive that came along with brainstorming and creating something to put out into the world, either by myself or through collaboration. Now I’m beginning to realize it’s not about fitting in to one extreme or the other, but rather utilizing both to my advantage. Being able to tune in both sides has helped me more than I realize.

soulmates.

Sure, I believe in soulmates, but probably not in the same way you do. The term soulmate is thrown around all the time. Almost every couple who gets married believes they’re marrying their soulmate. And in some senses, maybe they are. From a religious standpoint, I can see the connection. If you believe that marriage is an eternal bond between you and your partner, then your souls are quite literally mates, in this life and the next. Then there’s the definition most people probably think of- that your soulmate is the one and only person you were meant to be with. Now, there’s a lot to unpack with this but I’d like to share my theory.

I choose to believe that there isn’t only ONE sole human that I’m meant to share a special connection with. Here’s why… For one, that just sounds super high pressure and sad, because the odds of me encountering that singular person out of the 7.5 billion people inhabiting this world is slim to none. So, for all the people out there who believe their hometown high school sweetheart is their soulmate, you may want to think again- the universe isn’t that kind.

I like to think that we have many soulmates out there, each of them with the potential to serve a different purpose in our lives. I think there are people out there you’re meant to share a relationship with, not just romantically, but platonically as well. There are people of all ages you’re meant to connect with at different points of your lives. I also think that just because those people are out there, it doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to meet them and experience that connection in your lifetime.

When I think about all of this on a visual level, I picture a long wavy line, which represents my soul. Each person’s line is unique to them, with curves and loops unlike anyone else’s, except for their soulmate(s). Your soulmate(s) has a line so like yours they almost overlap. Some lines are closer to overlapping your lines than others, and those are your truest. Your truest soulmate could come in all shapes and sizes, or not at all. This theory isn’t meant to discourage you from love, it’s meant to do quite the opposite. You have countless opportunities to make connections every day. Don’t pass them by or shut the door so easily, you never know what could be waiting on the other side.

There are so many things I wish I could tell you. I’m holding on to the possibility that maybe one day I will.

What is your purpose in life?

Right now, there are many things that bring purpose to my life.

My job gives me purpose, I get to wake up every day and contribute my thoughts and energy to a bigger picture, in exchange for experience and compensation. I’m following the path I’ve been paving my entire life. I have worked hard to get to where I am now, yet still have so far to go.

My purpose is to strive to be the best version of myself, for my own sake and also those around me. Working to reach and then eventually exceed my potential as a woman, daughter, friend, professional, etc.

My purpose is to make my family proud. They have watched me grow from an innocent to an intellectual, I value their opinions most.

My purpose is do good, be humane, treat others with kindness, and stand up for the things that matter to me. Taking a good look at my life, thinking about all the reasons I do what I do. When you strip everything away, you’re left with your “why.”

So when I hear Live with purpose—I think about how I don’t have much of a choice—A life without purpose isn’t much of a life at all.

#thoughts purpose life

He ran away from his thoughts like a dog in an open field.

Avoidance is acceptance of disparity.

“If you don’t ask, you’ll never know”

Some advice I wish I could go back and tell myself or apply to my current life more: Ask for what you want in life, what’s the worst that can happen? I think I get so caught up in the uncomfortableness of asking the question, I put my wants and needs to the side to keep the comfy. I often find myself left disappointed, because I sacrificed something I want, all because I didn’t put myself out there and try. It’s not that I’m “too scared” to ask, it’s more so that I feel my opinions or needs aren’t as important as everything else going on in the world. I put other’s contentment over my own, and never push to “rock the boat.” I don’t mind staying quiet if it means it will help someone else, even in the smallest way. But sometimes I need to help me. Note to self: You are your biggest advocate, so what does it mean when you’re taking the backseat in your own life? It means you get the short end of the stick often, and don’t complain because it’s not like it really matters anyway—except it does matter. Ask the question, see what happens. If it doesn’t work out at least you can find peace in the fact that you tried.

childhood magic

As a kid, being called in for dinner while playing outside was pretty much the worst thing ever. We would beg for 5 more minutes. We would play at all hours of the day. It didn’t matter whether it was a sweltering August morning, or a crisp March afternoon. Whether the sun shining, setting, or accompanied by a shower, it didn’t matter. There was a game for everything. There are so many memories left imprinted on that sidewalk. I even remember when we would get home from being out somewhere, as we drove up the block, all the kids would race up to the top of the hill waiting for us to join the adventure.

Now that I’m grown, I cherish those memories like gold. Someday I hope my kids can experience a similar magic. And they will feel the agony of being called in for dinner. Because I want my family to be able to sit down at the end of a long day and find peace and comfort in each other, not just the meal that brings us together. Quality family time is so important, even if the moment feels small in the moment. When I think of my childhood, I picture a highlight reel filled with the glorious moments that shaped me into the human I’ve become. My past has been fueled by ordinary moments turned magical, and I hope to do the same for little ones of my own one day.

Let’s clean up if we cry

get it together now

clean up your life

wipe your tears

fix yourself

don’t cry babygirl

what are you going to do now?

you will get better

time to shine

every day is a gift.

Every day is a gift. Treasure it as if it’s the last you’ll ever get. Because the truth is you never know when the worst day of your life is coming. That’s part of what makes it so hard when that moment comes. When bad things happen, you think back to the last time things were good and you hold on to it because it’s all you have left. But that good memory feels like forever ago. Things are much darker now. Once your eyes have adjusted it’s hard to imagine what the light even looked like. Strength is believing that light will come again, even when the darkness looks never ending.

trust the process

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my transition into adulthood, it’s to trust the process. The number of unknowns in a post-grad’s life can be overwhelming. For the first time, the next step of the road isn’t fully paved. There’s so much fear, but also beauty in this in-between phase of life. For those of you feeling trapped in this insufferable space: be patient, be still if you must, and take a deep breathe. The right things will happen for you, and your worries will fall away as your life begins to fall into place.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Show off your goofy side. Let people in.

There are far too many people afraid to be alone with their thoughts. I think you should be very afraid not to be. We take in an absorbent amount of information, sights, smells, media, messages, etc. If we don’t stop and process what’s going on around us and within us, our brains will go into overload and eventually shut down. Human beings are not machines, but even the hunk of metal and hard drives at your desk needs to be updated and cleared out now and then. Don’t run from the things that make you feel. Dig deep, challenge yourself, and don’t be afraid of what you might find.

Knowledge is power. Which is why you should never shy away from an opportunity to learn something, even if it means pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Practicing open mindness leaves room for that knowledge to grow.

sometimes when I close my eyes I see you and I want to stay there forever.

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