bleach's bad brain thoughts @bleachsbadbrainthoughts - Tumblr Blog

What's the difference between a dinosaur and my neighbor's dog? The dinosaur's been buried in my backyard for a lot longer

I like my balls like I like my wine, pressed by a barefoot egyptian woman

They call me Plans the way I'm best laid and never work

Imagine if we only had one nostril and every time we blew our noses it was like a cannon

Any trans man who uses my deadname has to pay me royalties, cuz I sure as hell didn't take one of yours.

Are conventions like orgies to people with fart fetishes?

Babe, can I get a to go box for your heart? I know you want to do the cannibalism metaphor but I just ate an hour ago.

we need more mammalian archetypes for gay men. gophers, wild boars, humans, goats.

Making a new kalpa: making them cum by licking them once every 100 years

Generational trauma is The Human Centipede and the solution is turtling

Some version of kissing where all parties leave with broken jaws

I can't tie a stem with my tongue, but I could probably put a nut on a bolt

Good morning

Light is all you have behind those eyes

Good afternoon

Your back aches, you wonder if any of this is worth it

Good evening

It wasn’t. What are you supposed to do now?

Good night

Docking with our tracheostomy tubes

instead of a friend holding your hair back while you puke, they're holding your bush back while you pee

She owen on my beru till I-

*bursts into flame leaving behind two skeletons*

Piss kink but it's gasoline and I set you on fire

bleach's bad brain thoughts