BeautifullyTragic✨

Aspiring Poet 🖋️ 30/F

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

Losing Hope

Your childish behavior,

I have to be the adult,

A has been savior,

Abandonment is the result.

You gave me words to hold on to,

You made me believe,

Just enough to pull through,

You decided to leave.

We were going to elope,

I believed every lie,

Losing hope,

Watching love die.

Kids are confused,

Frankly so am I,

You seem to be amused,

Wish you’d tell me why.

You claim to be sincere,

Yet there’s been no candor,

Actions made things clear,

Your words mostly slander.

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

8 Years

Treated like she doesn’t exist,

Proven she doesn’t belong,

Give the knife a twist,

It’s the same old song.

8 years,

Kids and a dog,

Her deepest fears,

Head covered in a fog.

He chose to walk away,

Leave her to clean the mess,

Watching her kids hurt every day,

You wouldn’t believe the stress.

He chooses not to speak to her,

Treat her like she’s the headache,

How can you not see?

Your family is at stake.

Abandoning parental duty,

She’s left to pick up the pieces,

He has gotten snooty,

Hurtful feeling increases.

Cast out by his kin,

She is still fighting,

The outcome of his sin,

Is the inspiration to her writing.

He called it lack of spark,

With no efforts to try,

The pain that leaves no mark,

And letting time go by.

A little communication,

Probably could have saved them,

All the hesitation,

A choice the caused mayhem.

Chaos and self doubt,

That’s what he left her with,

Wishing he would reach out,

Their future became a myth.

She is truly hurt,

She feels more alone,

Ran her through the dirt,

Wait until you see how she has grown.

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

The Dream

You finally apologized,

Told me you’re lonely,

Everything I fantasized,

The texts for my eyes only.

You told me what’s on your heart,

Finally begging for my attention,

This was just the start,

A feeling beyond comprehension.

Nonchalantly reaching for my hand,

Looking at me with desire,

I’m falling again and can barely stand,

I feel like we’re playing with fire.

You crave my reply,

You’re finally chasing me,

It’s as if no time has gone by,

Your whole heart I can see.

Your mother pulls me in for a hug,

Together we cried,

This love is like a drug,

Tonight my nightmares subside.

I didn’t want to wake up because,

It was the perfect dream,

Unfortunately, that’s all it was,

So I let out a broken scream.

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

New Me

Words cut like a blade

Treated like an outsider

I never should have stayed

The true ultimate decider

Breaking me down

No sign of sympathy

Hold my head as I drown

Room full of hostility

The circumstances have changed

Treated like I’m not enough

Harsh judgement you’ve exchanged

Past decade has been tough

I can no longer cower

I will build myself up

Myself I must empower

Buckle up, buttercup

You are done destroying my hope

You are beyond petty

I’m done walking the tightrope

It’s getting not so pretty

I am creative and full of passion

I have a dream too

You could use some compassion

To my heart I must be true

I am enough for myself

I am enough for my kids

Brace yourself

Go ahead, start the bids

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

Letting Go

Holidays hit me hard

Kids are feeling the pain

My feelings you discard

This behavior is insane.

I’ll do something fun

Something less stressful

My brain wants to run

I was unsuccessful

I wish you were in the picture

I understand why you’re not

Something about moral stricture

“What the hell”, take another shot.

It hurts to think you’re livid

Because that’s how it seems

Your anger is vivid

It’s spilling from the seams

I’ll give you your space

I hope that’ll help you

I’ll leave with grace

I hope you find your breakthrough

I’ll love you always and forever

You’ll always have a piece of my heart

The love you have, give it to whoever

Letting you go is the hardest part.

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

Miss Me

Hurts to think you don’t miss me back

We’re broken up but I can’t move on

Has my brain all out of whack

I hate that you’re gone

You’re all I can think about

I need to let myself cope

My heart full of doubt

But I’m still holding on to hope

I hate that I miss you

I think of our kids when I feel the urge to quit

How I wish you missed me too

I think they know we split

I’ll keep working on me

Because that’s all I can do

One day I’ll break free

I’ll become someone new

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

Where It All Went Wrong

They were an epic love,

The ones people would steer clear of.

Their love was something for the books,

A love more beautiful than their looks.

They felt their love would be forever,

Thought nothing could break them, however.

They stopped being what they were back then,

She wishes they could try again.

It went on for far too long,

Here is where it all went wrong.

They got comfortable in the limbo phase,

The common mistake made these days. They both stopped trying,

Their love slowly dying.

She knows now she complained too much,

He was barely hanging on by a clutch.

She nagged to the point of suffocation,

His love turning to aggravation.

They both said things they should not,

That was a rule they both forgot.

They lost sight of the dream,

They stopped being a team.

They did things they should not have done,

Which in the end, no one won.

Feeling they would drown,

They tore each other down,

They both stopped laughing,

There was less photographing.

They stopped doing things together,

They stopped being happy altogether.

Life became overbearing,

In turn they stopped caring.

Things got disorienting,

So they quit experimenting.

They stopped sharing,

That needs repairing.

They quit enjoying life,

She felt more like a housewife.

Things got bad,

They got mad.

They didn’t communicate because they didn’t know how,

They are simply not talking now.

Worst part about these dangers,

Now they have become complete strangers.

She knows now what not to do,

Maybe he can learn that too.

She only wants the man she fell for,

But doesn’t want what they had before.

She won’t write another letter,

She wants to forget the past and try something better.

Do new things and try to rekindle,

Don’t let this love completely dwindle. Meet her for an epic date and try something new,

Hello, my name is.. it’s nice to meet you.

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

Anxiety

Breathing is nonexistent

Heart feels still

This feeling is consistent

Body is feeling ill

Lump in my throat

Limbs completely shaky

Wish there was an antidote

Memory is getting flaky

Finger tips go numb

Vision is blurry

A feeling to break from

A feeling of worry

Becoming lightheaded

A hole in my chest

Wanting to be clearheaded

Trying to get some rest

This feeling is uncontrollable

The sweating is nonstop

A bit inconsolable

It feels a bit over the top

Body is weak

Wanting to puke

Every day of the week

Wishing it was a fluke

Haven’t been able to sleep

Struggling to eat

This feeling hits deep

My mental health is beat

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

We’re Over

It was a Saturday afternoon

My eyes became a monsoon

You said we’re over,

Next day, hangover.

Spark has been gone for a while,

Attitude became something vile.

You say you still care,

Behavior turned unfair.

There’s still love but not in that way,

Now I’m left crying when I pray.

You’ll always make sure I’m taking care of,

The very lie I’ve chosen to rise above.

You say there is no other,

It’s one heartache after another.

We’ve broken up,

Feeling like a backup.

Said you want to find your way back,

Here I am looking like a sad sack.

You didn’t mean to hurt me,

Led me on carefree.

You say you want to keep trying,

The same lie I keep buying.

We haven’t told the kids,

The hope I have outbids.

We’re meant to be cordial for them

But it’s all become mayhem.

You asked for space,

I pack a suitcase.

It’s been weeks now,

Barely speaking, wow.

You said you’re not mad,

Then why treat me so bad?

How much space do you need?

This is not what we agreed.

You’re home 1 day a week from work,

Now, you’re just being a jerk.

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

The First I Love You

The date was toward the end of 2017

Blue skies and mountain tops were the outside scene.

You drove me home that Monday morning,

The words came out with no fair warning,

You walked me through the front door,

Which you’ve done several times before.

You hugged and kissed me before leaving for work,

Making my heart light up like a firework.

You walk out the door and the words just fly,

There was no stopping the “love you, bye!”

I stood there in shock,

No one could get me talk.

You didn’t have time to walk back in,

So I sat on the step and felt my brain spin.

I was too nervous to speak all day,

I thought for sure I scared you away!

We talked about it when you got back,

I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

You said those words and you said them with soul,

My heart had never felt more whole.

The next day those words were on my screen,

You made me feel like an actual queen.

My heart skips a beat

Because you swept me off my feet

I love you forever,

And we’ll make it through whatever. ♥️

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

First Kiss

It was a Monday, in the second half of 2017,

The night was so serene.

I was sitting on your lap with your strong arms around me,

I was taking pictures and rambling on carefree.

Eyes were glued and you were hanging on to every word,

This event I am so glad it occurred.

You took a chance,

On a beautiful romance.

I’m so glad you did,

Constant blushing, my face I hid.

You jumped my lips with a kiss,

This moment completely filled with bliss.

Lips so soft it felt like a dream,

I know that seems a bit extreme.

You took me by surprise,

You wouldn’t believe the butterflies.

They fluttered so hard I almost stopped breathing,

The feeling of infatuation was increasing.

I was at a loss for words,

We started to kiss in thirds.

I could not grasp the idea that someone so perfect could want someone like me,

I was a complete nobody.

You showed me a feeling I didn’t understand yet,

Something I would eventually get.

You showed me a love I didn’t know,

Crazy how it all started with a hello.

[bleedinginkpoetry95]

The Night We Met

There you were at the end,

In the back with a mutual friend.

Blue eyes that made me weak in the knees,

A voice that put my mind at ease.

Good looking muscles in that black tee shirt,

Made it almost impossible not to flirt. 

Those blue jeans that made your butt look good,

Hiding my attraction as best I could.

The cowboy boots you love so much,

A look that hasn’t lost its touch.

Your gentle touch upon my leg,

Sent a tingle that made me want to beg.

We drank so much we should have called it a night,

Instead, we went to your place to end things right.

We drank some more, and it was one to remember,

It happened on a Friday at the end of September.

You showed me something I craved my whole life,

A love that I thought I’d find in the afterlife.

We slow danced as you sang me a tune,

That was the moment you made me swoon.

This is something I cannot forget,

Because this was the night we met. ♥️