carry on, carry on @bleedingxglory - Tumblr Blog

I just realized I never did one of these, shit. Better late than never?

my friends online call me whisker. twenty-nine somehow. (don't ask me how i made it this far)

i'm kinda, not all there upstairs but it's fine. i also may or may not have an energy drink addiction right now.

I like to write sometimes and in addition to being obsessed with the (ladies of) pitt right now, you can throw in hockey (most times) and joshi puroresu.

discord is always available to mutuals!

my ao3 is here

#how the fuck does one do an introduction for their personal blog what the heck #watch me redo this eventually

trinsantos15

Waittt how is she so cutee

🥹🥹🥹

galaxysharks

Walsh: remember, the main goal is to leave the patient looking better than Garcia leaves Santos.

Garcia: she likes it

Walsh: she keeps answering your avoidant ass, so she must.

trinitycattos

#…well there’s a dream blunt rotation i didn’t know i had.#me being the blunt of course

star-shard

Sometimes, fanfiction is carefully plotted out stories, with plot points and call backs and themes that all tie it up in a meaningful and exciting way.

And sometimes fanfiction is, ‘Watch me do a fucking KICK FLIP off this cool sentence!! Also here's some sex'

Both are beautiful forms of writing.

#i tried to do the first one…i dunno how succesful that was but hey it had fans and ihad fun

emmaharwoods

little to no javadi in season three 😀

#…well alright then.

I think i forgot how to write fluff.

segamascott

santos-dreaming

trinity told baran she needs next wednesday off. told her weeks in advance so the attending could make sure it happened. and she never used their relationship to get any sort of perks at work, except for this one time, she needed the guarantee that she wasn’t working on this one day.

but parker had fucking broken her leg so night shift are a doctor short, samira had pulled a few doubles to help out and mckay has harrison for the full week so she’s been switching out her shifts wherever she can so she can spend time with him. it would all be fine, any other time, trinity would pick up the extra shifts and only complain a little

but she needs this one day off.

and baran is unyielding when she asks her about it, offers to do anything, work any number of shifts before and after.

i’m sorry trinity but everyone’s flat out the next couple of weeks, you know this, she gives her an unimpressed look which pisses trinity off because she’s not trying to wheedle out of work for fun

i told you i needed wednesday free ages ago! trinity snaps, a little harsher than she had intended. and there’s something about just how unimpressed baran looks now, even though she can’t be blamed. she doesn’t know why trinity needs the day off. and she knows it’s unfair, but she can feel the panic tinged desperation crawling up her throat at the idea of being stuck in the Pitt next wednesday. if we hadn’t been on that stupid fucking vacation i’d still have enough leave to take the day, but i don’t. what’s the point of dating my attending if you can’t even do me a favour this once.

she feels sick the moment the words leave her mouth, hurt flashing across baran’s before it settles into something cold and closed off. we will discuss this later doctor santos, i suggest you go and check on your patients

trinity doesn’t get a chance to speak to baran for the rest of her shift. and she knows the attending must have told yolanda by the way the surgeon doesn’t offer her even a scrap of acknowledgment when she reels off the answers to a unfairly complicated series of questions

by the time the end of the shift rolls round, trinity is sick with guilt, both at how she spoke to baran, what she said, but also the suffocating feeling that despite it all, she still won’t be able to spend the day sat at her best friend’s grave like she does every year, like she has to

god she wishes they hadn’t all driven into work in yolanda’s car today. it feels a lot more like marching to her execution and less like walking towards her loving girlfriends who are already sat in the car waiting for her. at least they didn’t just drive off and leave her she reasons

she slips into the backseat silently, glancing nervously at baran and then to the rearview mirror where yolanda is watching her through it

and baran, endlessly patient baran, who only asks that her girls don’t make a big deal of their relationship at work, has told them she needs the separation, is all too aware of the position she holds over trinity particularly, says, do you want to talk about what happened now, or when we get home?

trinity thinks she might actually throw up if she has to sit with these feelings for the car ride home, manages to force out, barely audible, now please

baran still hasn’t looked at her. trinity can see the way she’s worrying the sleeve of her jacket. yolanda is still glaring at her in the mirror. and trinity feels about 3 inches tall. not only is she letting her best friend down, but she’s hurt baran too, has implied that their relationship boils down to the benefits she can extract by dating her attending.

what the fuck is your problem? yolanda snaps when neither baran or trinity speak again. and trinity flinches a little at the anger in her voice. it’s different when she’s spoiling for an argument too, sometimes the pair of them push each others buttons instead of communicating healthily like baran wants them too. but the tone of yolanda’s voice sets trinity’s teeth on edge now, already wrung out from the guilt of today.

that clearly hadn’t been the agreed way to tackle this from baran because she’s then whipping her head sideways to reprimand the surgeon herself.

she catches trinity’s eye inadvertently as she does so and trinity can feel her bottom lip wobble and her composure crumbles all at once, as does the ability to choose her words carefully. usually so cautious about keeping those parts of her life guarded and away from the light.

but now it all tumbles out, among countless apologies to baran. tells them about her coach, an abridged version at least, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to tell anyone everything that happened.

she tells them about her best friend, she says her name in front of someone else for the first time in far too many years. tells them how she’s gone, and trinity hates her for it, and then hates herself for hating her.

she’s so selfish she says, she’s selfish because she knows how badly she was in pain, knows the pain herself all too well. and knows what it’s like to stand on the very edge of it all and want so badly to leave it all behind.

and how she needs that day off because she has to drive 7 hours to the cemetery and sit with her. because otherwise no one visits, her mom died not long after she did and her dad wanted nothing to do with her when they told their parents what was happening

that she can’t be alone and she’s not sure who she’s talking about anymore

all the while she’s still babbling apologies because of course she isn’t just dating baran for the workplace perks. that she loves her, her and yolanda, that she could give trinity every holiday shift forever and that still wouldn’t change.

she’s spluttering and trying to heave in breaths, one hand rubbing at her chest in an attempt to self soothe.

there’s a sudden influx of cooler air from outside as the door opens next to her, and then the familiarity of yolanda’s arms wrapping around her, a firm hand rubbing circles against her back, the surgeon’s voice low in her ear coaxing her to breathe a little slower

and trinity doesn’t deserve this comfort, but she is selfish, hadn’t she already made that clear. so she lets herself be comforted regardless. even as she still hiccups and sniffs and tears continue to leak steadily down her cheeks, soaking into yolanda’s top.

she can feel the weight of someone else on her other side now too, peels herself away from yolanda just enough to see baran looking heartbrokenly at her. let’s yolanda guide her gently into baran’s arms as another round of apologies leaves her mouth.

and baran is telling her it’s fine, and that she’s sorry, that she would’ve made sure trinity got the day off if she knew how important it was. and when trinity starts to apologise for that too, baran shushes her, tells her she’s so brave for telling them now. so strong for surviving, how she’d love to hear more about her best friend if she wants to share, wants to hear the happy memories trinity must have too, tells her she must be so proud of you, eshgham.

trinity does get the day off she needs, baran arranges for her to work the night before so she can steal a night shift resident in return. trinity’s surprised initially, because baran hates it when any of them drive tired. and a 14 hour round trip on no sleep isn’t exactly baran’s usual idea of safety.

but yolanda is chiming in, letting her know that she’s switched shifts herself so wednesday is her day off now, that she can drive them both and trinity can nap in the car.

and on wednesday morning abbot lets her leave an hour early, practically pushes her out the door to find yolanda already idling outside with baran who hops out the passenger seat to let trinity in. buckles her seatbelt for her for good measure too. text me when you’re on your way home, okay?

there’s a small bunch of flowers on the backseat, yolanda tells her that she and baran have got for her grave, if she wants to put them there. that there’s no pressure.

and she knows she shouldn’t look at the little note tucked amongst the petals as she lays them down once they get there. yolanda is sat in the car still, she isn’t quite ready to have someone else physically there with her right now. but she looks at it. in baran’s elegant handwriting, unlike her and yolanda’s messy doctor scrawl.

we’ll look after her, we promise

- B & Y

i should invest in a dartboard, staple ideas to it, and pick fics that way.

so many people would argue in my life i should not have sharp things...and i live in a motel so i can't exactly hang it up

but the idea is good in theory

theincorrectpitt

Ogilvie: Whoops. Garcia: Whoops? WHOOPS? This is not a “whoops” situation. We are far past whoops. Whoops is a distant speck in the rearview mirror. We are solidly in “oh fuck” territory, and I expect you to act like it.

transtarks

reblog this and put in the tags at least two (2) songs you are listening to on repeat right now

#lets see…a girl is like a piece of gum and all them horses. save you a seat rounds out the top 3

bleedingxglory

So I started finally writing and figured I’d actually start continuing to watch the show in full, not just clips and pieces and the one episode I saw

and i forgot one of the cases in the second episode are very similar to something I dealt with so it’s a fun time

bleedingxglory

okay i have binged the majority of season one and every episode i wanna punch robby more and more. langdon too.

I am too irrationally angry at these stupid white men

aaand chapter five is now up. feels weird now that that is finally done.

...don't worry i'll have another half-baked au at some point. (you might get your way with a hockey au. we'll see how much the finals annoy me)

in the meantime, there's more where that came from....i just need to write it

So I started finally writing and figured I’d actually start continuing to watch the show in full, not just clips and pieces and the one episode I saw

and i forgot one of the cases in the second episode are very similar to something I dealt with so it’s a fun time

ny-ji

i'm sorry what

... well.. can't be alone in this, now i need to know which Ao3 tag you are @samirasystole @vaguedisapproval @mohabbot-enjoyer @santospilled @rose-in-red and the newest moot @highest-violet 🫶

(no pressure... 👉👈 + haven't tagged everyone #stressed but feel free to do it ofc !)