guys i want to start writing again! pls blame my ex bf for the lack of writing. He didn’t like that I have celebrity crushes. (i would rather have celebrity crushes than follow hundreds of random girls who dont want me). — moral of the story, dont date older boys ur first year of college 😹
hi guys ik the last time i was on here i said i was gonna write but istg being a senior sucks!! i dont need 50 project and 5 tests but ty!!
ON A GOOD NOTE, im graduating in like a week and a half!! so i WILL be writing the luke hughes au i started! mark my words, i will finish it over summer!!
hiiii guys, havent been able to write but i will get yo my requests i promsie!! also uci decsions most likely come out today so if you see and angst fic coennoht soon, mind ur business!!
Could I please get a rum & coke? #17 with Connor Bedard
cyberhughes 200 follower special ⋆ .˚
rum & coke coming up!!
prompt #17: "i can't get you out of my head."
fuck sorry this one kinda hurt i think im projecting w this one guys LOL (god help me.)
prompt list
connor bedard was the love of your life.
was.
officially, you had been with him for two years, but you knew him longer than that. the two of you sharing a bond stronger than anything throughout your childhood.
it had been one year since the end of said relationship, one year since he had left you crying in front of your apartment as he walked away with your heart, and one year since you had lost your best friend and lover in one fell swoop, your twin flame.
you grieved like never before. it was almost worse than grieving someone who was dead, because he was still out there, keeping your heart captive.
you couldn't even remember what the first few weeks after the breakup were like. you had locked yourself away in your apartment, letting your entire being be consumed by sorrow.
it truly came out of nowhere, the two of you were happy. or at least, you thought you were.
"connor, what are you talking about?" your smile faltered as he stood in front of you, hands in his pockets while he stared at you with that emotionless expression he always had. "it's just not working." his words rang in your ears and you could feel the reality settle in.
your lips moved to speak but shut just as quickly. you didn't know what to say, how could you? the two of you just worked, he was your soulmate and you were his. he had seen every part of you, felt every part of you, taken every part of you. you gave him your everything,
so what the hell wasn't working?
that's the question that you had destroyed yourself over for the past year. when connor left you, he had taken a piece of your soul with him, and you weren't sure if you'd ever get it back. and so, you'd spend the rest of your life yearning for that piece, yearning for him.
while you were together he was always on your mind of course, but now it felt as if he had taken over you, your thoughts consumed by nothing more than him. you could only think of the sound of his comforting voice, which was now starting to fade away. you could only think of the way his smile could make your heart melt in an instant. you could only think of the way his lips molded to yours as he kissed you. it was like he had left a poison in you when he left, ensuring that he would be the only one you'd ever love.
it wasn't healthy, is what your friends told you. it wasn't healthy to still be hung up on your ex boyfriend after a whole year. but he was more than that, he was your partner, in every sense of the word. you had gone through everything with him, been there for him when no one else was.
now the only thing you were going through was his instagram, scrolling the feed that had already been graced by that little red heart. he was doing good, better than good. maybe you were holding him back, not allowing him to shine as bright as he could. that's all you ever wanted for him, so why couldn't you accept this?
you found yourself going through old photos and texts, not having deleted his number even after a year. soon you found your thumb hovering over his name in your contacts, your mind daring you to call him.
and so you did.
it rang once.
then it rang twice.
and just as it was about to ring that third time, as you were about to hang up knowing he'd never respond, you heard his voice.
"hello?" he spoke softly and you felt your whole body tense as you heard the voice that you once sought out for comfort. sure, you had put yourself in this situation, but you didn't think he would actually pick up.
your breath was shaky as you spoke, "i can't..." your voice cracked, and you were glad he couldn't see you in this pathetic state.
"y/n?"
"i can't get you out of my head." your voice was barely above a whisper, yet he caught every single word.
"it's been a year." he spoke sternly, as if you didn't recognize that, and suddenly it felt like you were being transported right back to that night where he had first broken your heart.
your eyes welled with tears as you heard him sigh over the phone, did he not miss you the way you missed him?
"why did you end it?" you asked, feeling your heartrate increase, you shouldn't have called him like this.
"y/n why are you-"
"tell me." you pleaded as the tears fell down onto your cheeks. a lifetime ago he would've been the one to wipe them away, telling you he'd never let anything hurt you, but he ended up being the one to.
the other end went silent for a moment before he spoke, "i didn't love you anymore."
you felt your heart drop deeper than it ever had, never expecting him to answer in such a way. "why? did i do something wrong?" you didn't know why you bothered asking, he didn't give you a reason then, and he probably wouldn't now.
"i had more important things to focus on." he rubbed salt in the wound, as if you were never important to him. as if you weren't the first name he'd call for whenever something happened to him, as if you weren't the one to carry his weight when he felt like he couldn't continue, as if you weren't the one who kept the flame of his soul alight. he didn't care as much as you did, he never did.
and so you hung up.
call ended.
connor looked down at his phone, "fuck." his lip quivered as he tried to hold it together.
you were always the most important thing to him, and that's why he had to let you go. he didn't want to tie you down, a ball and chain keeping you from pursuing your own dreams as you followed him around the nhl.
he knew you'd be alright eventually, and he knew that you’d find someone who could give you all their love in ways he couldn’t. after all he knew you better than you knew yourself.
and that's why he selfishly kept a piece of your heart, because he never truly wanted to let you go.
—“ its crazy to me bc you grow up, you lose friends ”—
chapter 1 — i swear i haven’t thought of you in ages
luke hughes x fem!oc
summary after two years apart, luke and lia unexpectedly reunite, all thanks to their mutual friends.
author’s note i was gonna make this longer, but i got lazy and decided to split it into two chapters. also, i lowkey hate this, once again, too lazy to fix change anything. enjoy!!
au masterlist
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Dahlia was lucky — two years, and she had yet to run into her past.
it was the kind of luck she never asked for, but that she had grown accustomed to. focusing on her studies, and her music, had been the solution to ignore the very person that reminded her of the summer she never wanted to relive. she'd tucked her memories into the back corners of her mind, filed them away like old yearbooks, covered in dust, untouched.
but tonight, it seems her luck had run out. as it, eventually, always does.
sitting in the library, textbooks sprawled out in front of her, dahlia tried to concentrate on her psychology notes. but with the soft hum of conversations around her, and the occasional shuffle of papers, the words on paper barely registered. she tried to focus, but she was pulled away by a sense she couldn't shake.
it wasn't the first time.
that feeling—like someone's gaze lingered on her, watching, waiting—only ever occurred in the library.
her pulse quickened as she glanced up, scanning the row of tables and shelves. everything appeared normal, nothing particularly out of the ordinary—just students quietly studying. Nothing was out of place. still, the sensation wouldn't go away.
unbeknownst to her, across the room, leaning against one of the bookshelves, was luke. an individual on the outside would assume he was a stranger to her. yet, he wasn't. not after that summer. not after that night. the night he hurt her in a way she tried so hard to forget.
he hadn't spoken to her in ages. she built walls so carefully around those memories, around him, and yet he lingered there—just out of sight like a ghost she hadn't invited back into her life.
luke knew exactly what he'd done. at least now, he did. he'd been selfish, careless. by the time he understood the damage, it was too late. the girl he once knew—trusting, calm, loyal—had already disappeared from his life.
every day he prayed she’d come back to him, but she had a new life. new friends. she looked happier without him, or so he told himself. happier than she ever seemed when they were... whatever they had been.
and he couldn't—no. he wouldn't—take that from her.
so his gaze lingered on her for a moment longer, memorizing the curve of her furrowed brow, the way she twisted her pen between her fingers when she was deep in thought. then, as quietly as he'd appeared he turned and slipped out of the library, leaving her untouched, unaware—like he always did.
dahlia barely registered the sound of footsteps until tessa dropped into the chair across from her, sliding her iced coffee dramatically onto the table. "okay, enough of this. we are going out.
dahlia blinked, caught off guard. "what? absolutely not. tess, i have to study for my psych exam." she gestured to the chaos of notes scattered on the table.
tessa waved a hand, dismissively. "and you've been studying for days. you know you are more than prepared for it, lia." tessa sipped on her coffee before continuing, "besides, ethan's got a game tonight, and im not going alone."
dahlia groaned. "you know i don't do hockey games anymore."
tessa raised a brow, tilting her head. "you were watching an nhl game last night, lia. just come, you'll have lots of fun. promise"
dahlia watched the girl in front of her, who had an unsettling grin on her face. "i dont know, tess." she hesitated.
"well, i do. you're going. c'mon, let's go get ready." tessa stood up, yanking dahlia up by her arm.
dahlia knew she wasn't getting out of this one. so, with one last glance at her notes, she closed her textbook and shoved her belongings into her bag. she forced herself—tessa dragged her—out of the library and into the evening chill. as much as she tried, she couldn't help but feel she was walking into something she wasn't ready to face.
the arena was packed. the energy, the roar of the crowd, and chaos reminded dahlia exactly why she hated going to games during her childhood.
and thanks to tessa dating ethan, they had glass seats, right behind the player's bench. the perfect view, thats what tessa told her.
the game had hit its final period. each player was a blur of navy and maize as they chased the puck around the rink.
she wasn't really paying attention, she never did at games. she just wished she had a book with her—like old times.
without a book, her gaze kept falling on him.
number 43. luke hughes.
the same boy she spent two years trying to forget.
she'd seen his face on posters around campus. everyone knew his name. everyone was a fan of the infamous, luke hughes. its ironic how no one would understand how she used to be such a fan.
its been two years since everything changed. and yet, her heart still ached at the sight of him.
she hadn't meant to look. she tried so hard not to. but as he skated near the bench, it was if she was magnetically pulled to follow his movements.
as if he could feel her staring—he looked up.
their eyes met. and dahlia froze.
his gaze lingered, long enough for other people to recognize the yearning in their eyes.
she tore her eyes away from his, hoping tessa didn't notice. but it was too late.
"oh. my. god."
tessa grabbed her arm, voicing a quiet squeal. "lia—he's totally staring at you!"
dahlia blinked, panic filling her chest. "what? no, he's probably just—"
"uhm, no. luke hughes is definitely checking you out."
dahlia shook her head, forcing out a laugh, as her gaze found his again. "he's probably just zoning out. its nothing, tess." luke had yet to look away, shocked that she was actually at game after all these years.
tessa's grin widened, practically vibrating in her seat. "oh, you so have to meet him. i'll get ethan to introduce us!"
"no—tess! thats ridiculous, i don't need to meet him," dahlia's stomache flipped at the thought of being that close to him. "i'd prefer not to actually."
"don't be silly, he was totally making eyes at you. this is happening, deal with it!"
dahlia groaned, sinking further into her chair. "he wasn't, i can assure you. please— can we just drop it?"
tessa sighed, allowing her friend win—just this once.
the hallway outside of the boy's locker room, smelled of sweat, the echo of skates clattering against the tile as the team filed inside after their win. dahlia hovered awkwardly near the wall, arms crossed toght over her chest. how tessa managed to convince her to come down here was unclear.
she should've stayed in the stands.
"i cannot believe you are actually making me do this," dahlia muttered underneath her breath. beside her, tessa was bouncing on her toes, clearly unfazed.
"oh you'll be fine." tessa whispered, elbowing dahlia in the side. "it's just ethan and his teammates, what harm can they do?"
"oh you don't even know," dahlia said lowly, so tessa couldn't hear her words.
"hmm? what was that?"
dahlia forced a smile. "oh! i didn't say anything."
she could feel her stomach flip, lukes longing gaze was still stuck on her mind. and now? she was standing outside the locker room, like some fan waiting for a autograph.
"look, there they are!" tessa whispered, perking up as the door swung open.
ethan was the first person to emerge, his damp hair pushed back. he grinned when he saw them. tessa immediately ran up to him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled him in for a hug.
"glad you finally dragged her out," he teased, nodding toward dahlia, before pressing a quick kiss to his girlfriend's forehead.
"she's holding me hostage, actually," dahlia deadpanned, making ethan laugh as tessa rolled her eyes.
ethan slung an arm over the girls shoulder, bringing her in to ruffle her hair"oh, c'mon. i know you enjoyed it, i saw the smile on your face when we won."
"yeah, whatever. don't expect a smile from me for another month or so," dahlia retorted, not wanting the couple to win. "am i allowed to go back to my apartment now?
ethan looked at her dumbfounded, "absolutely not, it's time for a celebratory party."
dahlia glared at tessa, who had a smirk on her face, knowing she purposefully withheld information about a party. "no. that is not what i agreed to. i came to the game, that's good enough."
"lia, you need to live a little. and hey, you can finally meet some of my friends" ethan's gaze shifted over his shoulder as more players trickled into the hallway. "you can meet one right now, actually."
ethan called out towards the locker room entrance. "hey, luke! come here for a sec!"
dahlia stiffened as footsteps approached.
no. no, no, no—
luke stopped a few feet away, hair damp from the shower, dressed in a maize hoodie and plain gray sweatpants. his gaze landed on her immediately, lingering the same way he did during the game, before shifting toward ethan with forced nonchalance.
ethan and tessa grinned, oblivious to the thoughts running in their friends' minds. "luke, this is tessa's best friend, dahlia. lia, luke."
dahlia didn't move. she was practically frozen in place. she looked at luke—really looked at him—for the first time in years. his expression was neutral, but there was something in his eyes that made her heart skip a beat.
luke's mouth opened, and he started to speak. "we already know ea—"
but before he could finish dahlia, in a moment of pure fear and awkwardness, accidently kicked his foot while trying to adjust her stance. she quickly straigtened up, flustered. "oh my god, I'm so sorry," she said, her face turning red. "this is such a bad first impression." she extended a hand, glaring at him. "i'm dahlia"
luke raised an eyebrow, but there was a flash of something in his eyes, something she couldn't decipher—perhaps should could've two years ago. he shook her hand, not saying much.
the awkwardness hung in the air, but ethan and tessa quickly moved on, and dahlia was grateful for their obliviousness.
"alright, you can't get out of the party now, lia." ethan smirked, clearly satisfied with the introduction.
"i'm not even dressed for a party," dahlia protested, crossing her arms in a half-hearted attempt to avoid the inevitable
tessa, already one step ahead, grinned as she slung her arm over dahlia's shoulder. "don't worry, i have a few dresses in my trunk! we can change on the way."
dahlia groaned, letting her head fall back dramatically. "of course you do."
luke stayed quiet, his gaze lingering on dahlia as the four of them headed toward the exit. his hands were shoved in his hoodie pocket, but his mind was far from calm.
dahlia didn't dare look back, determined to convince herself everything was okay. if only it were that easy.
