Learning Self Confidence

Selfish blogging where I talk about myself and the problems I face day to day. Very Gen Z of me *sarcasm*.

[everygayisablessing]

[bloggingkween]

“If you are at the point where you’re about to fight over a man, that is not your man.”

— Anon.

[sarahseeandersen]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

IT ME :D

[goth-princess-gwennie]

me when u followed me

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

< GASPS AND GIVES U A HUG

[queergaymer-blog]

Oh I just panic. Oh no! They will see my garbage blog and run away screaming.

[bloggingkween]

Be my best friend !! I need one :((

[bloggingkween]

Has anyone ever signed up for any sugar daddy websites as a sugar baby? If so, what has been your experiences ?? Spill the TEA SIS !!

[bloggingkween]

Creating a Seeking Arrangement account

I am literally signing up for SK because I need shmoney and my friend told me there is some great sugar daddies on that app !! The only problem is the website doesn’t have an iOS app :(

[bloggingkween]

“One hour and I’ll be happy”

- MP

[bloggingkween]

BACK AT IT AGAIN FEELING SAD !!

I get these days of feeling sad and emotional. Over sensitive if you will. And if anyone talks to me the wrong way, I fucking snap! I get mood swings. And it’s not cute. It’s super stressful because I hate going from one emotion to the next in a matter of fucking seconds.

I have negative feelings towards people in my daily life. I tend to get snappy with my mother. And I tend to ignore my best friends. I hate it. But at the same time I don’t want to talk to anyone.

I’m so tired all the time, I just want to stay in bed all day and not be bothered by family or friends. Well, that second part is true. Not one of my friends has talked to me. All they say is “I miss you” WELL IF YOU MISS ME MAKE TIME FOR ME NOT JUST YOUR BOYFRIEND. Do any of you have that best friend that says she’s always busy but next thing you see is she’s at the movies with her boyfriend or she’s at a club with her boyfriend. And then you text her and tell her you want to hang out and all she says is “I’m busy right now but I have the weekend off” and the weekend comes around and she ghost you all day? Anyone have that best friend? You don’t? Well let me tell you how lucky you are to not have that.

Also, I have been telling my friends that I will be out of town at the end of this month and I’ll be back in the beginning of August and they all seem to not have listened because they think I’m either already out of town or that I already went. Um no. Can someone in my life please just listen to me?

Anyways, I just want to get out of this over sensitive mood I’m in. I hate it.

[bloggingkween]

I Have Decided

I don’t know if anyone is following the past stories I have been posting, but one of them was about me going out on a date and he brought his kid to the date. I was undecided if I liked him. 

Well

I have decided and i don’t like him, and if you guys remember that on that date we went back to my house to smoke, well during that we talked abbout a lot of things. And a lot of those things we talked about, some of them didn’t make sense or they contradicted each other. And I really don’t want to start a relationship based on lies. And as selfish as this next thing is gonna sound, I am not ready to settle down with someone, let alone someone with a child. We all know what a big ass responsabilty a child is, and honestly if I’m not ready to have some of my own, I sure ain’t ready for someone elses baby. I really just prefer telling him I’m not intrested now before we get any closer and I hurt his feelings or he hurts mine. 

[bloggingkween]

Storytime: How I Got Stranded At 3 AM!! I Ended Up Calling The Police!!

So this happened towards the beginning of 2019. My friend and I decided to go out for a bit but we didn’t feel like going to a club, so we decided to go to a kareoke bar. We were having such a fun night till these guys started talking to us. Out of those guys one of them started talking to me (we’ll call him Jerry) and then he bought me a drink.

So the more we talked to the more I liked it and I will admit, I was sexually attracted to this man. We talked pretty much all night and as the time got closer for the bar to close (most of the bars and clubs in my town close at 2 AM) he had invited me back to his house, and I of course said yes (please do not worry, I was not drunk however, I was tipsy). Before the bar started to close one of the guys he had come with go really really drunk and he broke the glass door that exists to the back of the bar, kind of like a smoking area. And the manager of the Bar kicked him out. Now this guy that got really really drunk (we’ll call him, Tom) was not supposed to get that drunk or drunk at all since he was the designated driver. So Tom called his lady friend to come get him. So when Tom left, Jerry remembered he didn’t have a ride back to Tom place, where he had left his truck. So my friend being a nice person offered to give him a ride, also because I was gonna be going to his place.

It’s time for the bar to close and my friend, Jerry and I make our way to the car and we leave. Once we get to the place where Jerry’s car is, my friend asks me if I’m sure I want to go with Jerry. I say yes. Because I am DUMB. I get out of my friends car and she leaves. Jerry is looking for his car keys and he can’t find them. I start to panic because my friend already left and this guys phone is dead. He couldn’t find his keys and he tells me to call my friend so she can take us straight to his place and he will give my friend gas money. I try to call my friend and she says that shes already to far (she lives super far away, so I don’t blame her) . We go sit on this couch his friend Tom has outside his house, and we stay there for about an hour waiting for Tom to come back to his house. So Jerry and I are talking about nothing in general and this MAN START GETTING IN THE FUCKING MOOD FOR ME TO SUCK HIS DICK!! Mind you we are still outside and it is now like 3:30 AM. I say no because we are in public and someone can see us, also I was starting to feel less attracted to this man and I just wanted to go home. I text my best friend and she doesn’t answer. So I call her and she doesn’t answer. I called her a total of 4 times. Tom gets up and I’m thinking he’s just gonna walk around, so I lay down on the couch and close my eyes but no. THIS MAN WALKS TO HIS CAR AND OPENS THE DRIVERS DOOR AND GETS IN AND DRIVE THE FUCK OFF!! HE DRIVED OFF!! I get up super quick and go towards the sidewalk just in case he’s driving back around and he’s playing a joke on me but NOPE! THIS ASSHOLE HAS LEFT. I quickly start walking away and start calling my best friend repeatedly. THIS BITCH IS STILL NOT ANSWERING. So I’m full on panicking now. And for those of you reading might be thinking “why not just get an uber or lyft?” well, let me tell you my friend. I DIDN’T HAVE ANY MONEY TO MY NAME BUT $2.00. I did however look up how far my house was from where I was and it said 1 hour 30 min walk. And since luck was not on my side that night, I fell. I sprained my ankle and scraped my knee. I had to sit down for a bit and count to ten before I started crying. I walked with a sprained ankle for about 10 mins before I did what I thought I would never do.

I CALLED THE POLICE, and thank god this really nice dispatcher was on the phone becuase they got a police officer quick to my location. Once the police got there he asked if I was okay and took me home.

And that is how I got stranded.

[hellenthetenderness]

[danisontnonfire]

[hellenthetenderness]

[skylarthememequeen52-deactivate]

THE CAT IS OKAY. THE CHILD PICTURED IS EATING A DIFFERENT KIND OF SUSHI.

[hellenthetenderness]

[danisontnonfire]

[hellenthetenderness]

[great-tweets]

👀

[monkeysaysficus]

They have nine beverages between the two of them

[polychromehana]

i have that painting ai app on my phone so i went ahead and took the liberty…

[jessthecheesewitch]

What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.

[queen-rot]

The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?

[jessthecheesewitch]

[sentimental-apathy]

[bloggingkween]

Nightmare ??

I have been having this dream/nightmare for almost a whole week. But I can only remember some of it.

It starts off with the death of my little brother (I don’t have a little brother in real life, I am the youngest of three), I never get to see him dead, all I know is that he just died. And in the dream no one says how he dies but something tells me that it was suicide. 

There is very few things I remember from the dream but after my little brother passing away, I live my life like he is still alive, my dream-self is aware that he is dead. My dream-self is in deep depression, and it’s not like the depression I have in real life, it’s worse. It’s heavier. I feel like I can’t function. I can’t be left alone because I feel like Im gonna fall apart. I have never felt that type of sadness in real life, but in my sleep felt it. My dream-self experienced heartbreak. 

I don’t know what this dream means, I guess it would be a nightmare more than a dream. The definition of a nightmare is a frightening or unpleasant dream. And it certainly has been unpleasant to feel that type of energy in my sleep. 

I hope they stop soon. 

[diversed]

[bloggingkween]

Storytime: I went on a date !!!

So yesterday I went on a date. This date was originally supposed to be last weekend, but he had cancelled it and postponed it for wednesday. I don’t want to give y’all the whole story of how I met this guy but basically I got pressured into going on a date with this man. 

Anyway, come Wednesday, I get ready to go on this date and he’s saying that it’s gonna have to be after 21:00. So I meet him at the movie theaters and I’m waiting and then it’s somehow 22:30 and I’m thinking he stood me up !!! I’m getting ready to cuss his ass out and just watch a movie by myself since I’m already there but, he sends me a snap saying that he’s here and so I wait for him and I see him come in and he is carrying a carseat in one had and his 2 year old on the other hand. Now. Let me tell you, he did NOT tell me he was gonna be bringing his child to the date. I would have postponed the date to the next day so he can find a babysitter. Look don’t get me wrong, I love babies. I want to be a mother. But, if you can’t find a babysitter for your child, just cancel whatever you are doing, especially if what you’re doing is late at night. 

So we end up watching Toy Story 4 becuase his baby wanted to and I felt bad saying something about it because I really, really wanted to watch Spider-Man: Far From Home. 

Afer the movie we went back to my place because he wanted to smoke and I said “what about your daughter?” THIS MAN LOOKED BACK AT HIS DAUGHTER IN THE BACK SEAT AND SAID “OH SHE’S OKAY, SHE’S NOT GONNA WAKE UP TILL TOMORROW MORNING.” um, no sir. You need to take you and your child home. I tell him that maybe we should just smoke some other day since he has his daughter and it’s already late, and he just says “she’ll be fine.” But at last we end up at my house and I tell him because we are gonna be smoking I can’t drive him to drop him off so he’s gonna have to get a lyft or uber. AND I specifically said this so he wouldn’t get the idea that 1). He’s staying at my place and 2). we are NOT gonna have sex. We smoke for a while and we talked and it was fun, but once he started to pack to get ready to go home, I noticed that he wanted to kiss me, or make out. But I honestly don’t know if I like him like that, and I don’t feel sexually attracted to him. PLUS, his daughter was there. 

I don’t know if I’ll go on another date with him. I just hope that if we do, he doesn’t bring his daughter. 

[compulsive]

[bloggingkween]

Help !!

Today I went to my church and helped out with immigrant refugees that are passing by. The church has been providing food, shelter, clothes and even help pay for transportation wether it’s bus or airplane tickets. Since my state is not a sanctuary state, they are not able to stay so they have to find a place that can help them but, my church has been doing so much for them. And not just the church, the whole community, even some people that are not part of the catholic religion are helping wtih whatever they can. Somtimes the community helps with cooking, or just interacting with the people seeking shelter. Some help with taking them to the airport or the greyhound. Everyone has been helping wonderfully. 

So I really want to encourage you guys to go help that person in need. You’re not only helping the people in need, but also the peope in charge. And of course, you guys don’t need to be in a religion to go help a church that are taking immigrants for refuge. Just place yourselves in their shoes and think of how much it would mean for someone, anyone to help you through your hard times. 

AND LETS NOT FORGET THE WISE WORDS OF HARRY STYLES: TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS

[bloggingkween]

I’m at the point in my depression where I sleep to avoid my problems.

yay.