Sammy's Fandom Extravaganza

Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Good Omens, Phineas and Ferb, Sherlock, Percy Jackson, Supernatural, BBC Merlin, The Witcher, The Hobbit/LoTR, Night at the Museum, Hamilton and Harry Potter

[padofwan]

The thing is "Padawan. Steal a car." is actually one of the oldest and noblest Jedi traditions. Part of the standard duties of being a Padawan involves securing the getaway vehicle when your assignment has gone sideways six times over and developed into a full Situation. They have all done this. I know in my heart that even Luminara at some point looked at a situation and sighed and asked Barriss to please steal a car before the shooting starts.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Bruce: You see that reporter of there?

Danny: The one with the glasses?

Bruce: Yes. His name is Clark Kent. He can be trusted.

Danny: Okay. *Writes note down* What about the woman next to him?

Bruce: That's Cat Grant, and no, she can't be trusted. Everything you say to her will turn into a gossip-lifting, life-ruining article.

Danny: Got it. *writes more notes*

Jason, watching the two from a few feet away: Say, who's that kid Bruce is media training? Is he a new ward he took in?

Tim: No, that's Danny Fenton, the face of Fenton Works. They signed up as a sub-company of Wayne Enterprise. Originally, they were a paranormal investigation and capture company- yes, I mean ghost hunters- but it was discovered that almost all thier tech can be used on metas. Bruce wants to make medical equipment that can be used by our enhanced citizens.

Jason: I see. But why a kid so young? He's your age, right?

Tim: Hmm, apparently his parents, the owners of Fenton Works, made him CEO so they could focus on ghost hunting and the occasional meta medical machines for Bruce. He got here a week ago to shadow me for CEO training, and Bruce stole him after they met outside my office. Danny hangs onto his every word, and I think Bruce forgot what it was like to have a kid actually listen to him.

Jason: Ah thats makes sense. What do you think of him?

Tim: Well, he's a little naive, easy to trick, and has way too much empathy for the cold world of business. I'm gonna have him in my bed.

Jason: Ah....well that took a turn. One I do not like so I'm gonna....*walks away*

Tim: He will be ✨️mine✨️

Bruce overhears everything from the bugs he planted on his kids: Danny, go ahead and change Tim's status. He can not be trusted.

[cryptidstatusbreached]

[assiraphales]

if qui gon had been anakin’s master, anakin prob wouldn’t have gone to the dark side. not necessarily bc he’d been a better master, but bc obi wan would be the cool older bro he’d sneak out w and confide in instead of the fake father figure he felt the constant need to rebel against. ‘palpatine has been asking me to spend time with him…’ ‘NEVER trust a politician. wait, hold. why the kriff is a decrepit thing like him trying to hang out w a 12 year old’ ‘I’m in love w padme. I want to get married!’ ‘u still have a rat tail’

[doomwolfe]

I put a cut because I have thoughts, but wanted to say... "Exactly this!". Anakin needed a big brother like what he was able to give Ahsoka. And poor Obi-Wan was just kind of like the older-brother-orphan [ie Boxcar Children] who was forced to take care of the galaxy's most unhinged feral force user.

Excuse my spelling- been a weird day.

Main Timeline[legends at least]

Anakin: sneaks out to illegally race

Obi-Wan: He's going to get us both kicked out.

Qui-gon Survives

Obi-wan [catches him]: where the kriff do you think your going?

Anakin: °_°

Obi-wan: T_T I'm coming with you.

Anakin: Ok..?

Obi-wan: first, we stop at the dinner because I'm hungry. Then I'm going to SLOWLY explain to you why that swoop race is stupid. Then I'll sign out a speeder and we can see how fast you can make the circuit around the market district. I have a surveillance mission anyways and I promise it's more fun.

Anakin:...ok I guess? Master Qui-gon doesn't let me do missions yet.

Obi-Wan: Then don't tell him.

//////////

Anakin: I havent seen her in 10 years.

Obi-Wan: dude. She just had a near death experience - at least pretend to be professional. It's an initial consult. Be cool and we can talk about it later. You should have told me if you were going to blow this, I had to cover for you in front of the council. Qui-gon said you weren't ready for something this serious.

Anakin: [now distracted by sibling rivelry and competitive need to show them he can do this]

/////

Genosis

[Qui-gon AND Obi-Wan in chains]

Obi-Wan [whispering]: You and I will have to catch up after this. I'm not convinced I didnt just see my brother kissing the enemy- a politician.

Anakin: [chuckling] Like you can talk.

Obi-Wan: That was different.

Later... [after Qui-gon had to save both their asses in that fight against Dooku]

Obi-Wan: Look. I get it, really I do. And I know its a topic Qui-Gon even has argued they tend to misinterpret. So...I am giving you this advice not as a jedi, but as your older brother

1) She's out of your league. You still have a rat tail. Have you considered it was perhaps just the near death experience?

2) your brain is still mushy. I dont trust you with risk mitigation as it is - if I don't trust you to not get me killed in a fighter, i sure as hell don't trust your brain is capable of deciding if the risk is worth the reward when your body is still swimming in a cocktail of hormones. Wait for your brain to finish cooking.

3) DID WE NOT HAVE THIS TALK? I swore I've told you we do NOT deal with politicians. If you decided you were in love with a pilot or something... it'd be different. Hell, maybe I'd cover for you. But I will absolutely dishone if you get kicked out over a politician.

4) If you at least wait a week, maybe we can find you a nice loophole. But I'm taking you to a bar with plenty of non-politician options first.

5) To be honest... I'm a bit impressed. And happy that you seem to be finding some sense of freedom.

///

Anakin: I cant help it. I love her. We want to get married.

Obi-Wan: i cant believe I'm saying this but you know that Sex is absolutely not a violation of the code, right? You could just... try things out before you decide to be comimmited to being stupid. Because and I cannot stress this enough... I cannot cover for you on this one. You're the worst liar, and they will IMMEDIATELY figure out somethings wrong.

Anakin: I'm not that bad.

Obi-Wan: Because I normally can cover for you.

///

Anakin: Why am I being assigned a padawan?

Obi-Wan: Because the council overheard you whinning about not being a master yet??? Did... did no one tell you how that works? Did you think they handed out Mastery from the Master inventory? You have to train a padawan to Knighthood for that. I'd wager they got tired of your complaining and expitited the process for you.

Anakin: I thought YOU were the one getting a padawan.

Obi-Wan: AND have to deal with MORE senators as a Master? No thank you. Not yet. Perfectly happy as a knight. I'll pick my padawan when I feel the force compells me.

///

Obi-Wan: so... we gonna talk about why a certain senator has gotten particularly rotund lately on the Holonet?

Anakin: T_T?

Obi-Wan: The senator I happen to know you tend to sleep with??? Starting to wear suspiciously oversized dresses??? Have... do you not check Holonews when we're at rest?

Anakin [genuinely confused]: What are you trying to say?

Obi-Wan: Padme. Is getting... large. How have you not seen? [Sigh] Did you get your mistress pregnant?!?

Anakin: She's not my mistress.

Obi-Wan: But is she pregnant? I swore I gave you that talk too. I know you zone out when people lecture you, but I SWEAR i try to only give you the most useful advice.

Anakin: does she look pregnant? I didnt notice.

Obi-Wan: Yes. Next question- Is it yours?

Anakin: I mean I guess?

Obi-Wan: you realize that if you DONT get kicked out you owe me a life debt for saving you. A task you insist on making difficult at every single turn.

///

Anakin: Palpatine wants me to be on the council even though im not a master.

Obi-Wan: WHAT did I tell you about him? We do not confide nor hang out with creepy old guys. Plus he's a senator. Stop hanging out with that guy. Next thing you know he'll try to recruit you into his sex cult or something.

[Anakin does not turn because, not only does Obi-Wan have his back, but the carefully planted image of creepy palpatine prevents anakin from really hearing the darth plaguis story]

[assiraphales]

if qui gon had been anakin’s master, anakin prob wouldn’t have gone to the dark side. not necessarily bc he’d been a better master, but bc obi wan would be the cool older bro he’d sneak out w and confide in instead of the fake father figure he felt the constant need to rebel against. ‘palpatine has been asking me to spend time with him…’ ‘NEVER trust a politician. wait, hold. why the kriff is a decrepit thing like him trying to hang out w a 12 year old’ ‘I’m in love w padme. I want to get married!’ ‘u still have a rat tail’

[ask-the-almighty-google]

I feel like Qui wouldn’t have let Anakin be Knighted at the start of the Clone Wars either despite Palpatine and the High Council insisting otherwise.

I don’t mean that Ahsoka would have been Obi’s Padawan; what I’m getting at here is they would have assigned her to Qui.

“I’m at your service Master Kenobi, but I’ve been assigned to Master Jinn.”

What follows is perhaps the funniest conversation ever…

Yoda: Made contact with your new Padawan, I see.

Qui: Yes, she’ll fit into our Lineage nicely. I look forward to training her.

Mace: Where is she now?

Qui: Anakin and Obi-Wan decided to do their Brotherly Duties and are currently teaching her Sabaac.

Ki-Adi: When can we expect Padawan Skywalker to return to the Temple for his Trials?

Qui: Not for another year or so, I think. He still has some growing up to do.

Mace: Wait-

Yoda: Against our Order’s Code, it is, to take on two Padawans.

Qui, putting sunglasses on: I was confused as well, but the High Council was the one to make the appointment, and I’m sure they had a good non-facetious reason for it. Ahsoka will be a wonderful Padawan, I’m sure. Who am I to argue with the Council?

Mace, eye twitching: THE FIRST-

Qui: I have to go now. The second wave is approaching. Good day, Masters. *click*

Ahsoka, currently learning Sabaac from Ani, Obi, and half the 501st and 212th: I’m gonna like it here.

[ezzuhme]

I coloured a doodle + ahsoka practise

[bruce-wayne-enjoyer]

"Gotham loves Bruce Wayne" but specifically it's street cart vendors loitering the streets, sometimes at night.

Yeah, Batman is cool. Well, he pays and tips in crumpled bills that usually have some blood or soot on it, is polite to the grandpas, agrees to dropping by their houses to make sure their kids aren't staying up too late or their spouses came home safe.

But nothing beats seeing the Prince of Gotham stumbling out of work, ordering 20 bagels for his gluttonous children and tipping 150% more than the original costs. They ceased thanking him for the programs their family benefits from, knowing he much appreciates seeing photos instead or having extra onions in his shawarma wrap.

Some of them would be acutely aware of the parties that Brucie Wayne goes to because there's at least an 80% chance of him stumbling out drunk and every old man street cart vendor starts mother henning him.

"Mister Wayne, you shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach! 😨"

"Sit up, boy 😠 Good god, you look like a bloody mess."

"Aww, poor kid 🥺" (Bruce is 45 yo man btw) "Here lad. Ice cream. On the house. Yes, yes, tell me all about the last model that dumped you, but please do it while sitting upright."

There have been 17 different occasions in this year alone where Alfred rounds the car around the gala just to see Bruce on the sidewalk, deliriously tipsy, while a circle of cart vendors are gentle parenting him into eating oily foods to get rid of the alcohol.

[yesiknowimshort]

i don’t think we have ever talked about the batfam using athletic tape but this absolutely must be talked about.

as an ex-gymnast who always had weak wrists and ankles, i would tape them every training session to ensure i wasn’t risking myself unnecessarily.

the batfam would 100% do the same and they would look fucking ridiculous because their entire body would have to be taped.

think about it: they’re engaging every muscle when they dawn the suits, so they would have to cover everything.

they take off the suits and they’re just covered in neon stripes.

or better yet— they have hero printed ones so when jason strips he’s completely covered in wonder woman logos.

[ekikeki]

may the 4th be with you ✨

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny kicks open the door: Bruce! Explain yourself! Bruce: Hello, Daniel. How are you? How are things in accounting? Danny: Don't try to use socialized manners to distract me! I want an explanation for these accounts! *slams folders on Bruce's desk* Bruce: Hmm? These are personal accounts. Danny: I'm aware! What I want to know is why you have so much money being transferred to "Barry's food budget", "Clark's furniture replacement fund," and "Diana's art purchases grant!" Bruce: I believe the names of the accounts are self-explanatory. Danny: Who are these people!? Why are you funding thier lives?! You have four other accounts with similar titles!.... Bruce, do you have a secret family? Illegitimate children? Bruce: Yes, because I adopted a dozen children as a single father, but refused to actually provide for my own. That makes perfect sense. Wow, you caught me. Danny: Ugh, I hate when you use sarcasm. The whole world thinks you're an airhead with no thoughts, but I know the truth. You're a sarcastic, emotionally broken mess that somehow is the most clever mastermind alive! Bruce: Thank you Danny: Uggghhhhh! If we weren't best friends, I would have quit by now! I made enough money to retire early! Bruce: But you won't~🎶 Danny: Aghhhhh! I won't! If I do, I know you'll mess up all the financial systems I set up and run this company into the ground! Bruce: You're the reason we aren't sinking. Danny: Damn right I am! *Agressively sits down and crosses his arms and ankles* Alright, if they aren't your children, then who are these people? Bruce with the straightest face ever: They're my sugar babies. Danny: .....What? Bruce pulls out pictures of the Justice League's civilian IDs: Look at them. Danny: Wow Bruce: Yeah Danny: Okay, I guess it makes sense why you would want to fund them. But Bruce, you can't just- Bruce: Do you want to be one of my sugar babies? Danny: I would rather be ripped monicule by monicule than be your sugar baby. Bruce: What if I made you my Splenda nephew? Danny: What does that entail? Bruce: I give you money, but you don't give me any sugar. You just spend time with me. Danny: No kissing, no sex, no romance? Just friends spending time together? Bruce: Exactly. Danny: *Narrows eyes* Bruce Wayne, are you bribing me to turn a blind eye to you toeing the line of embazelement? Bruce: Yes Danny: Great! Cause I am totally willing to turn a blind eye to your sugar babies! How much are you willing to give Uncle Bruce? Bruce: This is why we're best friends.

[cryptidstatusbreached]

[timbit-robin-art]

They’re coming home from their intergalactic grocery run.

[rawwwka]

[ anguish ]

should you vanish, so would I.

[tienwashere]

Lunacy/Idolatry

[dictearchive]

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[kittykittyredcat]

[micdixart]

And now for something completely different

[stillnotsquashed]

Tim: Hey, Dick, what's my surname?

Dick: Drake?

Tim: No, I mean as Robin. I have to fill out these forms for a new hero team but it won't let me submit it without a surname and they don’t know who I really am yet so...

Dick: Oh, it's Knight. That's actually Bruce sanctioned.

Tim: He agreed to it?

Dick: Not exactly. He had to full name me in the field once in front of Lex Luthor and said 'Robin the Boy Wonder Knight, if you do not get down from there this instant...'

Tim: Does he use it?

Dick: I think so. After I started using it. He's sentimental like that.

Tim: And it has nothing to do withthe fact that it means he can write alias: Batman, forename: The Dark?

[hannrum]

Had to do something for Mermay before it ends